Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

San Francisco Police Department, California

End of Watch Saturday, April 10, 2004

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Reflections for Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

hey issac! well its an early monday morning! today im going with grandma and chris today and i just wanted to say ill be thinking of you like always... love you...


August 30, 2004

Hey Issz,
I just finished putting putting my collage/frame together. I had all pictures of you, renata, and bella in it, but the pain in heart wouldn't let me hang it up. I had to take some pictures out and revise it a bit with other family members because i couldn't even look at it without crying. You were an amazing person. You had so much love in your heart for everyone.... We all went to Blackberry Farm a few weeks ago. That was hard! I remember you and I catching frogs and polywogs in the creek. I remember all of us cousins swimming in the pool, but this time it was all our/your kids swimming in the pool. They had a lot of fun. They have a big slide there now. I wish you were there, so you could've grabbed bella and took her down that slide. She was so scared. I know you.. You would of grabbed her and told her to not be afraid because shes with her daddy. I know you would have done that. I miss you Issac. Its really hard for us. Its such a VOID now.
I went out with your wife for the fist time the other night. I know you were always scared of us taking her out. You loved her so much and you really protected her. She will be fine with us...don't worry. I love you Issz. I miss you.


August 30, 2004

Hey Zak,

I visit this sight every Monday, I think in a way its therapy, but it also makes me sad to see the numerous other brave officers who have also been taken from us. I'm still bitter about all this, but I guess God knows best. How are doing? How is heaven? I was holding my son yesterday and I couldn't help but think how precious life is, how sweet it is to hold someone who has nothing but love for you. I thought about you and your daughter and I said a prayer for strength for your wife and daughter. How do you go on after such a tragedy? Only the strength of God, and I am glad your wife is full of that strength and all the support and love.

August 30, 2004

Just a daily hello!!!!!

August 30, 2004

isaac! i forgot to write my name down there! but you know it was me! christian and grandma pointed it out to me today! they made a special phone call just for that specific reason! hah! oh yah and something else! YOU KNOW! lol! grandma goes on here everyday! i bet you shes reading this right now! "hi grandma" haha.... anyways how are you issac? we miss you so much! its still not reality to have you gone. not gone! but just not in site! where we cant see you. you will never be gone! you will always be in my heart and in everyone elses! 2 days ago i went to your grave and layed some roses out for you! im sure you saw that. renata made it so nice with her and bella's pictures! im going to try and visit you once a week now! maybe more. i hope you hear me when im praying, talking, and even asking you questions bout things. why? why isaac? why did it have to be you? you were so happy! everything was perfect. im just stating the obvious but why? i ask myself that over and over but noe matter how many times i ask myself that one particular question i can never figure out why! but then my mom said to me the other day it was because angels cant stay on earth for long. and thats true. you were our angel that came to touch our hearts and inspired us in many ways. even motivate. cuz i want to be like you. have as much spark and brightness in me as you did. you are in a better place where one day we all will be, you just beat us there! cause you were our borrowed angel. well, school starts on wednesday!!! im going to westmoor! just like you and renata!!! haha.... i went there for orientation last wednesday and all i saw was you! i went in the bathroom and started to cry because i saw you. i saw your bright smile! it was sad but then my tears were of joy. i feel so lucky to have known someone as special and mesmerizing as you! i wanna be like you! you were so cool!! haha... uncle gerry is okae. i guess! i honestly dont know! you do, but i dont know! i noe hes hurting deep down inside but hes strong and knows your watching him like you are watching all of us from above! i love you isaac! see you in my dreams and hear you in my prayers....


August 30, 2004

hey isaac. well the niners played the raiders a while ago! i meant to write to you about it sooner but i never really got the chance. im sorry. but the RAIDERS won. i remember at bella's party a couple years ago you said " DONT EVER COME TO ONE OF MY PARTIES WEARING A RAIDERS JERSEY "...HAHA you yelled it so loud everyone heard. i miss you isaac. so i hear that they are now done with the video and i cant wait to see it. christian told me about it! she also told me that renata got a tattoo!!! i cant wait to see it! i should go to bed now! i love you isaac! till next time...

August 29, 2004

Reneta I wanted to let you know how sorry I am for your lost. I cant imagine how hard it is to loose someone that you love so much and how difficult it is to move on. You are a strong woman and I admire you for that. I also have a daughter name IZABELLA and as a wife of a SFPD officer this really hit home, when I heard the news that there was and officer down my heart was in pain and I could not control my tears, right away I called my husband to reassured him that once again I was there for him, he was so devestade as he knew Isacc and he was in state of shocked. My prayers goes for you reneta and your daughgter Izabella

officer wife

August 27, 2004

lets not think of your death, lets set that aside and celebrate your WONDERFUL popular life Isaac. hah i miss you Isaac.


August 25, 2004

Did you go blonde? :)

August 24, 2004

Hey bro, its Eggy. Ice, I miss you so much man, not one day goes by that i dont think of you. Not one day goes by that I ask why this had to happen to my brother. I pray to our Lord that he keeps giving us the strength to carry on. I love you and miss you

your Little brother

August 23, 2004

it's early in the morning and for some reason i cant sleep. I thought about you. Every time i come to this page and read what other people say about you and I ALWAYS find myself crying.

I'm going away for college this Saturday. Actually, I'm flying three thousands away from home. Im living in the most dangerous area of DC to attend to Gallaudet University and I thought of you and it always makes me feel safe. Please give me the strength to feel safe around DC and help me in school especially when im living so far away from my family. ALso, please watch over my auntie velia and uncle eric and their new baby coming up. God Bless you.
You're always in my thoughts.

Godspeed. You're my hero.


August 23, 2004

Isacc we miss you easc day that goes by.
It helps a lot to read this reflections and to know that there is a lot of people that still remembers you, not just family but friends.
You touched a lot of lives, you are an ispiration. Will alwaya remember you, you live in our hearts and mind.

friend from the east bay and family in c

August 23, 2004

Even in death you are able to bring everyone together. There was just something about you that made folks want to be near you. I think about you everyday. I love coming to this website and reading what is said about you. I still can't believe you are gone. I feel like it's not true. By the way you are still on my caller ID, just a reminder that I knew you! :)
Isaac always the life of the party! MISS YOU!

August 22, 2004

You know with each day that passes by, I pray to god I'll never forget who you are. My God Isaac, i miss you so much. i miss seeing you everyday working on your house, and always making fun of me. i miss you driving away in your car, and me always making fun of you as well. i miss Bella and You comming over our house. i miss going over your house and seeing you and renata so happy. I just miss everything. i dont know how Renata does it. She is such a strong person. She misses you so much and so does little Bella. It seems like time just goes by so fast. you know what i hate the most and what hits me everytime is that I HATE THAT WE LIVE TO DIE, but only god knows why he takes us, and we all have a purpose, and just to have you drive away in your car or to even hear your voice would be oh so worth it. i hate the fact that God takes the good people away from us down here, and the people that should be taken from us, because they bring harm to us are still here brining harm. you didnt deserve to go. i still wonder and sit down here why it had to be you. you didnt deserve to go. everybody always says hes in a good place, which is true but the good place is down here doing the job you loved, and being down here with renata and bella, not up there far up from all of us not being able to touch you. we want you down here with the people that love you. i still remember the day that my mom told me that there had been a shooting where you worked at night. she got up in the middle of the night to make sure it wasnt you, and to see if your car was there. but it wasnt there that night. my mom couldnt sleep at all. the next morning we were eating breakfast, and my mom asked my dad if she had seen you, or if your car was there when we left, and my dad, my sister, and i said no we havent seen isaac. and then she told us that there was a shooting where you worked, and my mom worried so much isaac. and i told my mom " mom you think isaac got hurt?, isaac is so strong, hes fine, maybe renata and him and bella went out somewhere, dont worry mom, issac is just too cool, hes fine, and i bet when we get home hes going to be there at home." i wish thats the way it would have gone, but when we got home there were flowers at your door, and the man told my mom what had happened. and my mom started crying. and i just started crying and went in my room , and started crying. i couldnt belive it. it hurt so much to know that i wasnt even going to say hello to you again or even see your face next door. i wish none of this would;ve happened. i guess you have to cherish the people areound you more often and not take them for granted because life is just too short. and life was deiftely too short for you isaac. everybody always asks if i knew you, and i just smile and love to tell them about you, i always tell him " hes my hero, i want to be just like him when i get older, i want to help people, i want to love my job, and i want people to remember me just like how they remember issac, i miss him." i miss you isaac. hear my prayers at night, and watch over me and all of us, but most of all watch over renata and bella, you were everything to them and you will always be. make sure that there always safe. i miss you, i know your with us in spirit and in faith. never go anywhere okay. be good up in heaven isaac. miss you.


August 22, 2004

I was in court last month on an assault rifle case (2 rifles in custody), and the bailiff asked me why I had a mourning band across my star, and who had died. I told him that I still wore it for you, and that I wanted everyone to be reminded of that unfair night that you were taken away from us. I wanted everyone in that courtroom to think of you when they saw that band across my star, the sign of a fallen officer. I am not the only one who still wears that band...and I am not the only one who will not take it off- even if ordered to! We love you Isaac...Patty.

Off. Brown, Bayview Station-MIDS
San Francisco Police Dept.

August 22, 2004

Well Isaac I finally did it. You know what I always wanted to do and we would always talk about it. Well yesterday was the day I got the courage to do it and went for it. I know you helped me through it and now I am happy I finally had the strength to do it after such a long time. Bella and I miss you so much especially this weekend when we were away. All she could do was talk about you and remember the last time we took a trip with you (last October). But I could see the joy she felt in talking about you and remembering you. She loves you so much Baby. I still don't believe it. It's not fair. I miss you. I'm still waiting.


August 21, 2004

I found this Prayer in my uniform jacket the other day. I thought I'd share it with you. This is only a part of it. The Policeman's Prayer to St. Michael:

And when we lay down our night sticks, enroll us in your Heavenly Force, where we will be as proud to guard the thrown of God as we have been to guard the city of men. Amen

I know you are up there doing your job, the job you loved so much, protecting God and those of us down on earth. Thank you for that.

Forever in my heart, I love you so much,Auntie

August 19, 2004


We all miss you.
So many inquiries on this tragedy?
What if you would have taken a left turn right before you reached that block?
What if you would have called in sick that day?
What if you had gotten a flat tire an hour before or had stopped for gas?
Would the outcome have been different?

What if? What if? What if?
I've replayed so many senarios in my mind? and only God can answer as to what if? I know it is all in his plans, but why?

God Speed! Rest in Peace.

August 19, 2004

still thinking about you, you will remain in our hearts for as long as we live. Missing you

August 19, 2004

It hurts a lot to know that you are gone. sometimes I don't know what to do with this pain i try to think about something else but it doesn't always work. Every time I see a police officer I think about you. It helps my pain to express it in this reflections that is why a refer to them a lot. rest in peace

August 19, 2004

Isaac we love you and miss you very much i'm just wondering what are you doing in this very moment. I wish I could see you or just speak to you but i can't. you touched many hearts in this world that it makes it hard for us to go thru a day without thinking about you at least once

August 19, 2004

Ieze, yesterday my aunt was going through her videos of the family and put on the video of Egars b-day party in 2002, everyone was happy laughing and playing the bible pictionary, remember that day.. Ieze, I saw you on the video and could not help my tears from coming down, I saw you smiling and joking around, like always. I was laughing at what you were saying and doing but at the same time crying with a pain in my heart that would not stop. I could not stop Ieze I really miss you. Ieze every night I go to bed and flash backs of all the good times we all had together come to mind and I still cant belive that your actually gone! I start to think of the last time I saw you and talked to you and start to cry. Ieze, yesterday was the first time that I had heard your voice since you left, I was sad at first and could not controll the pain and tears, but after I just thanked God for being able to see you and hear you talk. Everyone is still hearting for you, and under shock. Ieze, we all miss you very much and wish that things could have been diffrent. I see bella everyday and that gives me joy because she is just like you in the funny faces she does and in her attitude. I just want you to know that aunt and I have moved in with nina, she wont be alone,Ieze. I know that you are with her and she wont ever be alone, but I just wanted you to know. Also, Biv's just had little Brianna, she is cute, she has Biv's nose and looks like Noah when he was born. Ieze, I really miss you and pray to God that some day I'll see you again. But for know I will say goodbye.

Love always, Ray

August 18, 2004

Hey Isaac, well you know how the game went this weekend, i'm sure you were watching from heaven and enjoying every minute of it, and your little fingers were just itching to put you niner flag up on our raider territory, ha, ha. You know last year you caugh us off guard but boy were we ready for you this year, it just saddens me to wake up and face reality. I don't know how Renata does it! I see your family picture in my living room, and just can't understand why this happened to you!
We knew what your job was, but never in a million years did it ever cross our minds that anything like this would happen, no, not to you!! You know it is so hard for me when I see your dad,regina, and your mom, because I can only imagine what they are feeling and going through as parents, hey did you know that you could have been my son,thats right, respect your elders, is what I would have told you!!you are only 2 months older than my older daughter, what do you think of that!,We miss your beautiful charismatic smile, all your jokes, your wonderful sense of humor, you know that I never saw you in a bad mood, you were always happy and willing to help others, you know that we try to help Renata and Bella in any way we can, and we are always next door for them, just like you always were for us, always watch over your wife and daughter, there a lot of us down here that miss you every day!

Sonia - neighbor

August 18, 2004

Isaac the very first time i saw you i was impressed with your looks. That day were dressed up and your wife was holding you from your right arm and all i could think is how fortunate she was almost nine months pregnant, her belly was huge but still looked as beatiful as any woman could look, now I know were Isabella gets it from, whatever way the genes wanted to go she would be beatiful and smart like her parents. LOVE YOU GUYS


August 18, 2004

It seem like you been gone for more than 4 months. I can not avoid thinking of you every day. I'm constantly wondering how is your family doing emotionally specially Renata and Isabella. Through this reflections i know they are getting a lot of support and that makes me happy. You guys made a very handsome couple. Very good looking and best of all great personalities.


August 18, 2004

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