Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Just a reminder, your video viewing is on Tues., Sept. 21, see u there! POA paper for details...We love you with all of our hearts Isaac!! We keep your candles lit (at Bayview), along with flowers, and items that remind us of you (SF 49ers beanie, bible quotes, you name it). We stop to pay tribute to you and remember your smile. Some are still hesitant to look, but we see them peek out of the corners of their eyes. They care... A news reporter had the audacity to ask me about the expiration of the weapons ban, and I simply pointed to my "Isaac" star and mourning band and said, "This is how I feel! But I guess no one would really know the impact until they've lost someone they love!" We miss you!!!

S.F.P.D.

September 17, 2004

"Blessed are the peacemakers ,for they shall be called the children of God" Matt 5:9

south city resident

September 17, 2004

I'm so tired of being here suppressed by all of my childish fears. These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real there's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears and I've held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light but now i'm bound by the life you left behind, your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me. I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone and thought you're still with me I've been alone all along.

But you still have all of me.

September 17, 2004

Isaac man i Hella miss you!She's not the same no more.... nothings the same no more. I miss you and i just cant bring you back!there are days that i can go without crying but every day is the same feeling. The feeling of emptiness and sadness. people still come up to me when they see your picture that i have at work and ask me if i knew you and i say yea he is my sisters husband. I love you....see you when i get there.

September 16, 2004

Spending years
hiding tears

Don't let it show
don't let them know

Spending years
hiding tears

don't break a frown
stand your ground

speanding years
hiding tears

Don't you cry
not even a sigh

spending years
Hiding tears

is what i've done
since you've been gone

I miss you Isaac

RU

September 16, 2004

It still is very hard to believe that my cousin is gone, but my true comfort is that he is in a far better place, and that is with God and that we will see him there. The selfish part of me wishes he were here with us, in our family functions, and we have had many, seems as though we have gotten even closer, through this, but Isaac, I know is with our Heavenly Father. Rest assured of that!!!!!

edna

September 16, 2004

Rest in Peace Hero!

Police Officer Matt Lyons
Oceanside Police Dept.

September 14, 2004

i miss you isaac sooo much. please come back.

Monica

September 13, 2004

I was thinking about you today!!!!!!!
it is still unbelievable. It just doesn't make sense. One day we will reunite, we will catch up then.
Love you

September 13, 2004

Hi, Isaac, Just want to say Hi.. today has been one of those days where I cant stop thinking about you. I have the picture where Nina, bella and you are standing together and I just cant stop looking at that pic,you guys look so happy. I have been trying not to look at it cause it makes me sad and makes me ask why, but I just cant help it. It has just been one of them days where all I want to do is cry of Sadness. I have been thinking about everything that has been going on since you left, and its all hard to deal with. I see my self and say what am I doing here, I shouldnt be here, you should be here. I can't believe it. Ice, everything is diffrent,everyone is different, I don't understand why, I love God and you know me Ice, I dont blame him, cause I know he has a purpose, But I just dont understand!!! but I know soon we will know why. I feel very sad today, more than usual. I wish there was something I could do,but there ain't. I wish you were here Ice. I miss you, and always remember you.
Love always, Rach

September 13, 2004

you are loved by many. missed by many. a hero by many espcially me. you've left a mark on this world. godspeed.

i just thought of you. and everyday i always always have you in my thoughts.

Aracelia Eva

September 12, 2004

Its been 5 months Isaac, and it still is so unreal. Today I also remembered all the fallen heros of 9/11 it takes such strength, iron will and love to enter a place so unsafe, but these wonderful heros did it without question, and so many of them perished. But you know what? Their sacrifice has made others realize that life is precious. These men and women, brave officers, fire fighters, search and rescue teams, will forever be a part of History. The cowards that committed these acts will have their day before God.
All I can say is Thank you! Isaac Thank you for being a hero, if you would have been in NYC when this happen I know you would have also risked you life to try and safe another mans life.

NYPD, NYFD Thank you! Much Love!

September 12, 2004

We love you Isaac!!! Oro en Paz, Fierro en Guerra...

September 10, 2004

Please come back!!!! PLEASE

Veronica

September 10, 2004

You are a woman of strength, always have been. God will help you.

September 10, 2004

i miss you soooooooo muchh isaac. please come back. pleaseee. it hurts to much to come on to this site and see what people write about you. i hate the fact that your gone. i miss you sooo much more then anything. i wish this horrible dream would go away. i hate the feeling of knowing that its real. your gone, i hate the fact that we dont know why we die. please put me back together isaac. i miss you soo much, and i love you and always will. please watch over renata. i know shes having a hard time right now. miss you.

Monica

September 9, 2004

Hi Isaac, I come on this sight everyday and as much as I try to write sometimes I just can't get myself to do it, just like when I have lunch with Renata sometimes we can sit and talk and laugh about you and times I just can't hold it.Just wanted to tell you how very much we all miss you. Captain Rick Bruce left a eulogy on the sight and from the moment I saw his name, I cried all the way down to the last word, all I could see was his very solemn face that fateful morning of easter sunday, when I went over to ask him about you, and heard those unforgetable answers to my questions, because I could not get a hold of anyone the night before. Isaac help Renata and Bella get through this. Miss you!!

Friend & neighbor Sonia

September 9, 2004

Isaac in my english class we had to write an essay about an experience in our lives that was was important to us and I couldnt think of a better one than the one I wrote. It wasn't an expeience that was important, but more like telling you how important you were to me and you will see how. I hope you like it!!! I miss you Isaac, please come back....PLEASE!!!! Im hurting!!! WE ALL ARE


Lost Within You


Life can be like a jewel. It can be precious, it can have its dull and bright moments, it can be priceless, but unfortunately it can’t be eternal. We can’t go on forever being who we are and loving those we love. We want to live our lives to the fullest and accomplish our dreams but some don’t get that far in life. They don’t get to grow old with their loved ones or get to see their daughter or son grow up and get married and have kids, but most of all they don’t get to live the life they always dreamed of. We have our time set for us on earth, but for some it is way too short. As humans, we appreciate what we have and who we have in our lives but when a person is suddenly taken from us, we no longer want to appreciate those good things in life. We have a tendency to lose faith and lose the happiness we once had. This person has now been taken from our lives for no reason and we feel hopeless and empty but there’s no window to dodge from death. We are only left with the memories that mend our hearts until we see them again.
It started as a cold, dreary, but silent day April 10, 2004. I was sitting at a restaurant having breakfast with my family when my mom hesitantly says, “ I didn’t see Isaac’s car outside last night or this morning. I hope everything is okay.” I confidently replied, “everything is fine mom. He got injured once; it wouldn’t happen again.” “But I saw on the news that an officer had been shot in the Bayview district last night but they didn’t say the officers name,” my mom replies and the conversation abruptly ended leaving the room so silent that we wouldn’t even become aware of a stack of dishes falling to the floor. As we arrived home, I saw Isaac’s father but he greeted me
coldly as he never had before. I suddenly started to get worried and as time slowly passed, San Francisco police officers started to arrive next door, followed by car after car. I get an empty feeling inside of me. My mom decided to approach one of the officers to ask what was happening. She wanted to hear that he was okay. She wouldn’t even mind hearing that he had been injured and was in the hospital doing fine. Anything compared to what she was about to hear. “Is everything okay, I heard what happened last night on the news,” my mom said. The officer looked up to my mom with a solemn face drowned in grief and only nodded his head. At that moment, while looking through the window and seeing the officer’s face, I suddenly felt really empty. I felt lost. I didn’t cry, not because I didn’t believe the officer but because it didn’t make sense, just not enough to grasp in my mind that my friend, my neighbor Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza was gone. Even now it’s hard to understand. It’s hard to arrange in your mind how a hero, how a dedicated father, husband, son, friend, and neighbor could endure such a horrible death.
Officer Espinoza’s death made me realize life is far too short. It’s too short to hold grudges, to short to not fall in love, too short to not live your dreams, and foremost, too short to not do anything. One says to oneself, “ I wish I would have or could have done that” but we shouldn’t have to live our lives thinking that way. It’s unfortunate that I have to look at life in a different perspective after I lost a friend. A friend who was doing his job on the line of duty. A job he loved and showed great respect for. I wouldn’t say Isaacs’s death was an important experience in my life but the outcome emotionally has been. I know that I should learn to cherish the people around me more often and not take life for granted. I should live for this moment as if today were my last day. I am sure that a majority of us when we wake up in the morning, look at ourselves in the mirror while brushing our teeth and are thankful to have our health, our family, our friends, and most of all thankful to be alive. I don’t think we realize how lucky our presence here on earth is affected by others and how grateful we should be for our lives. Our friendships with each person affect our lives one way or another and people are put in our life for a reason. Whether the reason be, to remind us to always reach for the stars or maybe just to make us feel good about our selves or to turn our life around for the better, but it is all to teach us a lesson in life. Isaac taught me these lessons . He taught me to love and protect the most precious things to us, as he did his wife and daughter. He taught me that everyone has their dull and bright moments, as Isaac and I shared through our five years of being friends. He taught me to see life as being priceless and to realize no one can take away everything you have built, worked on, and dreamed for. But Isaac clearly showed me that life isn’t eternal. We can’t be here forever but he presented me that he lived his life to the fullest and he came out of it a hero. A hero I will always admire and respect for living the life as that unique jewel, as Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza always did and will.

Veronica

September 9, 2004

Dear Isaac,
Its Monica. I miss you so much, more then anything. i started school last week at South City High School & it was okay the first 4 days. I cant even pay attention in class, cuz im always thinking of you. You know I have you on my fone on the wallpaper. Everytime i open my fone im always looking at your face. You know yesterday i was at Tims house and i was walking down the stairs and i heard voices from your house & it made me think of you. I promise on everything i thought it was you. My head turned so fast. I thought it was you. I miss you Isaac, sooo much. Just wanted to tell you think im still always thinking of you and im missing you as well. take care. i love you.

Monica

September 7, 2004

I'm hanging on the best that I can.

September 7, 2004

Hi Issz, I told everyone the Jelly Fish story this weekend. Someone asked me if I was ever bit by a jellyfish, and I totally thought of you/ us in Mazatlan Senior Year. I told everyone the story of how we were all on the the banana boat in Mazatlan and you told me the Banana Boat was going fall over. I really thought it was true, so I let go of the boat..to find out I was being swarmed in a pool of jellyfish. I remember you telling me that I looked like I was walking on water..you laughed so hard. I think I did walk on water for a minute. I'll never forget that because you made me laugh when all I wanted to cry. I miss you cousin!

Adele

September 6, 2004

Ieze, miss and love you bro.I ask God to give our family strength . Its hard to know that you are no longer on this earth with us and that we have to live with out you in our lives. I ask God to give my sisiter and my nieace the strength to carry on. It is hard Ieze. I miss you and know that we will see you again. Love you
Your brother
Eggy

September 6, 2004

ZAK-
On that nite, I walked out of the station at 2045 hrs. to set up my patrol car for 2100 duty. You were walking into the station (hair was perfect!)when you stopped to tell me how proud you were of me for loosening up, because I usually get to wk. 1 hr. early. I never told you that I was just running late! Haaa... I hope you saw my key word up there, "stopped". You ALWAYS stopped to say SOMETHING to someone! That was my last conversation with you, because YOU took the time to stop! Less than an hour later, you were gone...Thank-you Zak, luv ya bro, Patty.

Off. Brown, Bayview Station-MIDS
San Francisco Police Department

September 4, 2004

Renata,

I pray for you everyday that God give you the strength. I'd love to keep in contact through email.

God Bless you!

Julie indigo75

September 4, 2004

Hi Amor,

As I sit here 1100 miles away from our home and think of you. I wonder if this pain will ever go away, if this lonelyness will ever be filled. I miss you so much. Everyday I try my best to go on. But how can I, I don't even know how to live without you. I have known and loved you almost my whole life and I can't live without the other part of my heart gone. How can I function. I am lost. I walk around lost and confused. I walk around angry asking why? why? I sometimes wonder if it was my fault if I did anything to make God angry at me. But all I can do is ask why and hope one day I will get the answer. It has been almost five months but to me it feels unreal. I still hope that you will walk thru our door from your Miami trip and say "Hi Baby I'm home". I feel crazy sometimes but I go on for Bella. She needs you so much right now. Everyday she asks about you and wonders why you had to become an Angel why you had to leave. How can I explain to her what I don't understand either. We try our best everday to go on without you, but it makes me angry that now I have to live this whole new life that I did not ask for. I want my old life back. I want you back. I need to learn to live by myself and that scares me. I have never know Isaac withour Renata or Renata without Isaac. Now I have to learn who Renata is by herself and I don't want to it is hard. Please answer my prayer. Help me get thru this. It is so hard everyday to go on without you We miss you so much. I will be strong for Bella because I know that is what you would want me to do. I know she was your life and I am glad I still have that part of you. I miss you and will keep trying my best to go on for you and bella. I love you Isaac. I will see you soon.

re

September 2, 2004