Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

San Francisco Police Department, California

End of Watch Saturday, April 10, 2004

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

If I could go back and change everything I would
If I could go back and hold you more I would
If I could go back and love you more I would
My heart aches for you right now, I long to hear your voice. To feel your touch. If I could make this pain inside me dissapear I would. No matter what I do I can't let go. No matter how hard I try I can't forgive. No matter how big I smile I cannot hide. If I could, I would give all I have to have you here. It's not easy to live with this pain. It's not easy to live this life sane. It's much harder than anyone could bare. But I do it each day that goes by. Even when I have days like these were I can't pretend, were I miss you so even after so long. My life is not perfect I know, but Im trying the best that I can to live my life without you.
If I could go back and make it alright I would
If I could go back and take your place......... I would!

September 15, 2007

Your niece is here. I think about you everyday but as her birth neared it was difficult to hold back the pain. The day before your niece made it clear she was on her way, I walked around work barely able to hold back the tears. All I thought about was how wonderful it would be to finally see her little face and to hold her in my arms, yet at the same time I thought how painful it was going to be knowing that she would never feel the arms of her uncle wrapped around her. She would never hear her uncle's words of encouragement. She would never hear her uncle's laugh. She will know about you because I will talk about you always, but I sit hear crying because she will only know you through stories and not through actual experience. She's beautiful just like your daughter. I have two beautiful angels here on earth and one in heaven. I love you brother and I miss you. I know your here with us in spirit, I just wish you were here with us on earth.

regina espinoza

September 13, 2007

I come to this page every few weeks. It is my time to spend with you. To remember the man you were, the hero you became. It makes me feel closer to you when I come to this page. I see your face, I feel you near me. I come to this page because I miss you.

September 4, 2007

What up Iz,
I have to let you know how proud of your sister you would have been this weekend. She had a healthy baby girl and she was so strong and a trooper, not even one whimper. Your niece is beautiful. Just beautiful! I know you were there in spirit. We all miss you everyday and even more with every moment and experience that passes us by.
Love ya Iz

September 3, 2007

Your sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! You are an uncle! So many memories came to mind as I watched her, so small, so beautiful, so innocent. It's hard to believe that you were not there as she was born, as I sat there and saw how this perfect angel brought smiles to everyones face, it was hard not to think that a big part of us was missing and should of been there.

You will forever live in our hearts sweetheart! Now there's another precious soul to watch out for. We miss you so much. We will always love you.

September 3, 2007

You still live Isaac I now that for a fact. You live in eternity, and we will all live there some day. Some day we might see you. Where ever you are I now you still think about us.

September 1, 2007

I write to make me feel better, not because I want to.
I write now to pass time since I cant fall asleep, I toss and turn and visions of our life won't let me shut my eyes. I try to get you out of my head, I don't want to think about you, not because I want to forget you but because the pain is too much. The thought of you gone is unbearable tonight! Oh God not tonight!! I write because my prayer wont get answered!! I can't get you out of my head tonight. So I cry quietly so she won't wake up. So she won't ask if Im okay.

No Im not okay, is what I want to say but I can't she needs me to be strong, to stay strong for the two of us. There are days when I feel happy with myself and my life now after you. But not tonight! Tonight I feel sad and lonely, tonight I want you here with me, tonight I ask why?? If you were only here things would be so different. Tonight I want to give up!!! Tonight I am not strong!

I write not because I want to but because I have to...Tonight I write for my sanity, tonight I write because I miss you!!!

August 27, 2007


I found myself daydreaming today...about my husband and the danger he faces every day in this tour of duty. I thought about you and the sacrifice you made. are truly a HERO. I took a moment to count my blessings and I wanted to take a moment to THANK YOU AGAIN...from the bottom of my heart. I think about your family and their sacrifices. I pray for them. You WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

An Officer's Wife

August 24, 2007

On August 18, your family, officers and friends got together for the 4th baseball tournament in honor of your memory. As a family memeber I was so proud to see all those baseball players playing. Their smiles showed their deep pleasure of the game. My smile showed the honor I felt in seeing all your friends and family. Your memory lives on. I want to thank "M" for all the work he and his family did to support this on going event in honor of Isaac.

August 19, 2007

we miss you Zak!!1

August 16, 2007


I have some words for you from Isaac.

I wanted to tell you a long time ago, I just didn't know how.
I saw you only a couple of times but never got to know you in deep.
I always admired you and your family, your beautiful daughter and handsome husband.

I could of told you this 3 years ago, but now i have the chance through this reflections.

Months before your husband past away, the lord revealed to me through prayer that Isaac's life was in danger and that it waas through his job.
I told the lord i couldn't tell you guys this because you didn't know me that well, that i wasn't comfortable.
I asked him to reveal the same message to someone closer to you guys, perhaps from your same church.

That same night Isaac past away, 3 relatives and I got together for prayer because we had shared a same dream about a man who had past away. We join together in prayer for that reason and it was around the time Isaac got shot.

When I heard the bad news i started to pray for strenght for each relative and family member.

About 4 months after, I had a vision were Isaac told me to tell you this...

He said tell Renata I want her to go to church,
I want her to teach Isabella about the word of God.
I want Isabella seeking God and her as well.
Tell her to continue in church and not to stop.
Tell her she is going in the right direccion.
Tell her to ask God for strengh and he will give
her the strenght. I want everyone in my family to
seek God for he is real.

I am sorry I didn't give you this words before, please for give me.

Renata you are not alone always remember that.


August 16, 2007


I have been so delinquent in leaving a reflection. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and your family. I thought of you on your mom's birthday as well. At least I will never forget, huh? I needed to leave a reflection and the day got away from me. So many times I have meant to leave one, but life is busy and before you know's been a few weeks. I called your mom the other day. She is such a great woman. I love her dearly, she is a gift and I am so blessed to have met her and that she is in my life. Recently Damian lost his mother, (give her a hug for him) and your mom sent him a card. It mean a lot to him. I was able to put him on the phone to speak with her because he too has been so busy he didn't have a chance to have a decent coversation with her...until then. She told me about Regina's baby shower and how big it was...I'm sure you were thought about and brought up in conversations. I know how much everyone misses you. I read the reflections they leave and they bring me to tears...especially Regina's recent one. May God bless all those missing you so much. You know, your mom was telling me how beautiful and adorable Isabella is and she truly is beautiful. I am so fortunate that I was able to see her in June when I was up there. Isaac, it was very cold and we went to the seashore in Burlingame by the hotel I was staying at. The wind was blowing, it was cold and Isabella didn't want to leave. She asked many questions and could not stop watching the water. I bet if she had a towel and a change of clothes...she would have jumped in!!! I wish I could spend more time with them, they truly are special.


Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

August 10, 2007

Hi Isaac, I today is a hard day for me. I can't stop thinking about how you can't be with us for all our family gatherings like before. We are having a little something for my moms birthday at your house and how I wish you would be there.In a way you will because not one day goes by that we don't talk about the good times with you. I miss you Isaac!! I...can't believe everything that has happend. I miss everything!!! My only comfort is that you left us a huge part of you witch is Isabella and I thank God for that. She is a replica of you and she keeps you alive always.


August 6, 2007

Thinking of you.

August 5, 2007

Hey Cousin Isaac,

Went to your house today for Regina's baby shower and this was the first time I've been back to your house since your death. I love the 49er room it came out great and the rest of the house looks wonderful! Your brothers did a wonderful job. We miss you and miss you coming by Auntie Lupe's house once in awhile. See you in the next life when our time comes.

Love Cousin Carmen :-)


July 29, 2007

i still think of you time to time. Eventho, we met one time but i see your bulletin of you in my classroom at city college of san francisco and i sigh and say "i met this wonderful man"
and think i am blessed. We sometimes talk about you in class.

i still regret not saying bye to you. You're my role model. On my graduation day at city college, I will put your name on my gown and graduate in the honor of you.

July 26, 2007

Ok Zak,

I can just laugh at how Birco is talking your ear off about his 1 year and how messed up (that's not really the word he used) it is he can't be here with us. Your 33rd. passed and you need to know you are thought of often and the quirky things that go on around the station are probably a result of you! That smile, that hair, that head nod up and down...priceless. Love ya brother, bless u. PB

SFPD, Bayview MIDS

July 26, 2007

Our family Chain is broken, and nothing seems the same; but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Cousin, I found this today and thought of you, Lucy, and Paula and all the others that have gone before us.

Love you

Big Cousin

July 23, 2007

Thought of you all day yesterday. I wish you were still here with us. I wish we could have had a huge bday party for you. I love you cousin. We all miss you.

July 17, 2007

Happy Birthday to another Fallen Angel. Thinking of you and your family. May God Bless you all always.

July 17, 2007

Happy b day sweetheart!! Just had a little bday party for you with my family. I got u a cake n we sang to you We tried to smile and be happy but the pain is still there still too hard to bear. Not easy just learned to live with it. God how I miss you!! We will see you tomorrow! I love you, always have, always will!!

July 16, 2007

Happy Birthday Isaac! Continue to watch over Class 12 and keep them safe!

Ray Valeros

July 16, 2007

Every time i think of you and i think of you often i thank god. Happy b-day IZE. My family and I miss you.


July 16, 2007

Dear Grandson Isaac,
I hope you don't think I have forgotten you, How could I you were my first Grandson. It's you're Birthday today.and I want you to know I will never forget you and I still miss you Love you for ever Grandma Poni

Josephine Poni
Grandma Poni

July 16, 2007

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Truth be told, I think about you throughout my days. I wish I could hear you laugh, I wish I could hold your hand or touch your cheek. I miss you so much. Today is your birthday. I'll light your candles for you and I'll blow them out, but it's not the same. Our time together on this earth may not have been long enough but I will thank God for the time he gave us with you.
Happy Birthday Brother
I will remember and love you always

Regina Espinoza

July 16, 2007

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