Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

San Francisco Police Department, California

End of Watch Saturday, April 10, 2004

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Isaac Anthony Espinoza

You still live Isaac I now that for a fact. You live in eternity, and we will all live there some day. Some day we might see you. Where ever you are I now you still think about us.

September 1, 2007

I write to make me feel better, not because I want to.
I write now to pass time since I cant fall asleep, I toss and turn and visions of our life won't let me shut my eyes. I try to get you out of my head, I don't want to think about you, not because I want to forget you but because the pain is too much. The thought of you gone is unbearable tonight! Oh God not tonight!! I write because my prayer wont get answered!! I can't get you out of my head tonight. So I cry quietly so she won't wake up. So she won't ask if Im okay.

No Im not okay, is what I want to say but I can't she needs me to be strong, to stay strong for the two of us. There are days when I feel happy with myself and my life now after you. But not tonight! Tonight I feel sad and lonely, tonight I want you here with me, tonight I ask why?? If you were only here things would be so different. Tonight I want to give up!!! Tonight I am not strong!

I write not because I want to but because I have to...Tonight I write for my sanity, tonight I write because I miss you!!!

August 27, 2007

Isaac,

I found myself daydreaming today...about my husband and the danger he faces every day in this tour of duty. I thought about you and the sacrifice you made. Wow...you are truly a HERO. I took a moment to count my blessings and I wanted to take a moment to THANK YOU AGAIN...from the bottom of my heart. I think about your family and their sacrifices. I pray for them. You WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

An Officer's Wife

August 24, 2007

On August 18, your family, officers and friends got together for the 4th baseball tournament in honor of your memory. As a family memeber I was so proud to see all those baseball players playing. Their smiles showed their deep pleasure of the game. My smile showed the honor I felt in seeing all your friends and family. Your memory lives on. I want to thank "M" for all the work he and his family did to support this on going event in honor of Isaac.
A

August 19, 2007

we miss you Zak!!1

August 16, 2007

Renata!!!!!!!

I have some words for you from Isaac.

I wanted to tell you a long time ago, I just didn't know how.
I saw you only a couple of times but never got to know you in deep.
I always admired you and your family, your beautiful daughter and handsome husband.

I could of told you this 3 years ago, but now i have the chance through this reflections.

Months before your husband past away, the lord revealed to me through prayer that Isaac's life was in danger and that it waas through his job.
I told the lord i couldn't tell you guys this because you didn't know me that well, that i wasn't comfortable.
I asked him to reveal the same message to someone closer to you guys, perhaps from your same church.

That same night Isaac past away, 3 relatives and I got together for prayer because we had shared a same dream about a man who had past away. We join together in prayer for that reason and it was around the time Isaac got shot.

When I heard the bad news i started to pray for strenght for each relative and family member.

About 4 months after, I had a vision were Isaac told me to tell you this...

He said tell Renata I want her to go to church,
I want her to teach Isabella about the word of God.
I want Isabella seeking God and her as well.
Tell her to continue in church and not to stop.
Tell her she is going in the right direccion.
Tell her to ask God for strengh and he will give
her the strenght. I want everyone in my family to
seek God for he is real.

I am sorry I didn't give you this words before, please for give me.

Renata you are not alone always remember that.

anonymus

August 16, 2007

Isaac,

I have been so delinquent in leaving a reflection. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you and your family. I thought of you on your birthday...my mom's birthday as well. At least I will never forget, huh? I needed to leave a reflection and the day got away from me. So many times I have meant to leave one, but life is busy and before you know it...it's been a few weeks. I called your mom the other day. She is such a great woman. I love her dearly, she is a gift and I am so blessed to have met her and that she is in my life. Recently Damian lost his mother, (give her a hug for him) and your mom sent him a card. It mean a lot to him. I was able to put him on the phone to speak with her because he too has been so busy he didn't have a chance to have a decent coversation with her...until then. She told me about Regina's baby shower and how big it was...I'm sure you were thought about and brought up in conversations. I know how much everyone misses you. I read the reflections they leave and they bring me to tears...especially Regina's recent one. May God bless all those missing you so much. You know, your mom was telling me how beautiful and adorable Isabella is and she truly is beautiful. I am so fortunate that I was able to see her in June when I was up there. Isaac, it was very cold and we went to the seashore in Burlingame by the hotel I was staying at. The wind was blowing, it was cold and Isabella didn't want to leave. She asked many questions and could not stop watching the water. I bet if she had a towel and a change of clothes...she would have jumped in!!! I wish I could spend more time with them, they truly are special.

Blessings,

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

August 10, 2007

Hi Isaac, I today is a hard day for me. I can't stop thinking about how you can't be with us for all our family gatherings like before. We are having a little something for my moms birthday at your house and how I wish you would be there.In a way you will because not one day goes by that we don't talk about the good times with you. I miss you Isaac!! I...can't believe everything that has happend. I miss everything!!! My only comfort is that you left us a huge part of you witch is Isabella and I thank God for that. She is a replica of you and she keeps you alive always.

Rudy

August 6, 2007

Thinking of you.
Auntie

August 5, 2007

Hey Cousin Isaac,

Went to your house today for Regina's baby shower and this was the first time I've been back to your house since your death. I love the 49er room it came out great and the rest of the house looks wonderful! Your brothers did a wonderful job. We miss you and miss you coming by Auntie Lupe's house once in awhile. See you in the next life when our time comes.

Love Cousin Carmen :-)

Carmen
Cousin

July 29, 2007

i still think of you time to time. Eventho, we met one time but i see your bulletin of you in my classroom at city college of san francisco and i sigh and say "i met this wonderful man"
and think i am blessed. We sometimes talk about you in class.

i still regret not saying bye to you. You're my role model. On my graduation day at city college, I will put your name on my gown and graduate in the honor of you.

July 26, 2007

Ok Zak,

I can just laugh at how Birco is talking your ear off about his 1 year and how messed up (that's not really the word he used) it is he can't be here with us. Your 33rd. passed and you need to know you are thought of often and the quirky things that go on around the station are probably a result of you! That smile, that hair, that head nod up and down...priceless. Love ya brother, bless u. PB

PB, USMC
SFPD, Bayview MIDS

July 26, 2007

Our family Chain is broken, and nothing seems the same; but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Cousin, I found this today and thought of you, Lucy, and Paula and all the others that have gone before us.

Love you

Big Cousin

July 23, 2007

Thought of you all day yesterday. I wish you were still here with us. I wish we could have had a huge bday party for you. I love you cousin. We all miss you.

July 17, 2007

Happy Birthday to another Fallen Angel. Thinking of you and your family. May God Bless you all always.

July 17, 2007

Happy b day sweetheart!! Just had a little bday party for you with my family. I got u a cake n we sang to you We tried to smile and be happy but the pain is still there still too hard to bear. Not easy just learned to live with it. God how I miss you!! We will see you tomorrow! I love you, always have, always will!!

July 16, 2007

Happy Birthday Isaac! Continue to watch over Class 12 and keep them safe!

Ray Valeros

July 16, 2007

Every time i think of you and i think of you often i thank god. Happy b-day IZE. My family and I miss you.


gbn

July 16, 2007

Dear Grandson Isaac,
I hope you don't think I have forgotten you, How could I you were my first Grandson. It's you're Birthday today.and I want you to know I will never forget you and I still miss you Love you for ever Grandma Poni

Josephine Poni
Grandma Poni

July 16, 2007

Not a day goes by that I don't think about you. Truth be told, I think about you throughout my days. I wish I could hear you laugh, I wish I could hold your hand or touch your cheek. I miss you so much. Today is your birthday. I'll light your candles for you and I'll blow them out, but it's not the same. Our time together on this earth may not have been long enough but I will thank God for the time he gave us with you.
Happy Birthday Brother
I will remember and love you always
Regina

Regina Espinoza
sister

July 16, 2007

Ieze,
Happy Birthday! I have been thinking about you alot lately. I know its been 3 years, 3 long years, but sometimes I still can't believe that you really are gone. Bella is going to be 7 soon and Ieze, she looks more and more like you every day. with the expressions she makes, she even jokes around like you. I miss you so much! I wish it would have been diffrent. But God knows what he is doing I don't question him. I just wanted to say, I Miss you and you are in all of our hearts. You are never forgoten. Even when we get together with the family, Ieze you are still with us there, because we talk about the good times we had, the trips to LA and just all the things we all went through together.

Love you bro,
Rach

July 16, 2007

DEAR DAD

I WANT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND TEll YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND MOM DOES TOO

ISABELLA ESPINOZA

July 16, 2007

Time goes by and the pain lingers on. Today is your birthday and I miss you so and love you. Mom

July 16, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAK!, BIG TIME IZE, CHOLO-1, REST IN PARADISE. 33 TODAY, BUT FOREVER IN OUR MEMORIES 29............

GMACK

July 16, 2007

One day, about a year ago, I was having a very rough start to my shift as a security officer with the San Diego Northern Railway. Earlier that week I had dealt with my first fatality where I actually happened to be on the train. Padres season was in full swing, I was working 60+ hours 6 days a week, and I wasn't getting much sleep. On top of it all things with my extended family were strained, and my girlfriend had just broken up with me. My head was just not in the right place and to top it all off my Captain and Lt. had some words with me before I went on patrol.

As I headed out to my patrol vehicle with my head hung low I realized I had forgotten my pens when I switched to a clean uniform. What else could go wrong? I may as well have forgotten my gun. But at least I have never forgotten my Isaac pin. Now back when I was in the academy it was stressed how important your look was and that you appeared professional. Even down to something as simple as your pens was a discussed issue. Some officers spring for an expensive set of Cross pens, and even as a class we decided to go with some nice looking Pilots that were about $1 each.

For some reason it always bothered me that one of the best pictures of Isaac, the one shown here, displays him looking beyond professional with his perfect obsessed over hair and down to every detail...except his pens. They're run-of-the-mill black Bic pens you can buy a 20 pack at Target for $3. Granted I'm sure Isaac figured they were much more practical and you don't mind losing them as we all often do. I just didn't get it though. I prided myself in keeping my uniform sharp and even wore my radio and other gear the same as Isaac. He was my roll model in every aspect but the pens. I still use my academy issue Pilots to this day.

However, here I am about to hit the streets to protect and serve without any writing utensils. I got upset that this was just adding to the slew of issues clouding my head till I remembered I always keep some sort of pen in my personal car. Surely I can find something to make due for the day. So I headed to the garage and started searching the various consoles and hiding places looking for something to write with.

I opened the center bin only do find a matching pair of black Bic pens. Immediately the picture of Isaac flashed into my head and I heard his laughter through my own. I had just gotten punked by my class hero. I looked up in the sky with a smile and tear of laughter, touched my Isaac pin and said, "Thanks bro, that was a good one."

J. Veraldi
Class 12 Grad

July 15, 2007

Want even more control of your Reflection? Create a free ODMP account now for these benefits:

  • Quick access to your heroes
  • Reflections published quicker
  • Save a Reflection signature
  • View, edit or delete any Reflection you've left in the past

Create an account for more options, or use this form to leave a Reflection now.