Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

Easton Police Department, Pennsylvania

End of Watch Friday, March 25, 2005

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

Hey Jesse,
It's been awhile since I left a reflection. With the horrible death of Tim & Taylor, immediately, I thought of you. I am sure Tim & Taylor are with you in heaven, behave yourselves, you were always little devils when you worked together. I miss you, I think of your family often & hope they are doing fine, which I am sure they are doing the best they can. I just can't believe it's going on 4 yrs. It still seems like yesterday when I heard your loud laugh & joking with everyone. God bless you & God bless your family.

Staci

Anonymous

October 10, 2008

Jesse, Please watch over Karen and Sean.

Anonymous

October 9, 2008

Jesse,
A fellow (retired)officer has come to stay with you. He brought his daughter along with him, so please take care of them and show them how to help Karen and Sean through this horrible nightmare.

Anonymous

October 6, 2008

It has been 3.5 yrs since Jesse's death; and I just remembered now that your birthday just passed in the beginning of September- so much time now has gone by, so many events - I have never experienced anyone real close to me passing away, I really care that you are okay, and the kids are okay- Jesse will never be forgotten, but I do hope that you have been able to begin to move forward, you certainly deserve to live fully, seeing how Jesse always lived, I know that is what he would want it that way for you.

Easton PD Wife

September 26, 2008

Carin

Just stopping by to let you know I think of you often......

I am here if you need me.

chrissy g

chrissy gilbert

September 24, 2008

Dear Mrs Sollman,
I've spent hours last night and today reading every page of your husband's memorial. I never met him or any of your family, but I clearly recall the day of the accident, hearing of the tragedy on the news here in Philadelphia. You were in my prayers then, and you will continue to be forever. As I was reading, I realized that it is your birthday. I hope this year brings you peace and happiness.
All my best to you and your family, always.
A grateful citizen

Anonymous

September 6, 2008

Awhile back, I came upon a pamphlet that talked about making sense out of tragedy or suffering - I had misplaced it until just last night, it has 7 steps. I am not professing that these are good or bad, but I often find myself searching for the "why" , maybe these will help. (sorry, its a bit long)

1) Keep Feeling as You Keep Asking
Just as your body hurts in order to heal, so must your spirit. If you run from the pain, you'll only hve to face it later, when it may surface in a destructive and even more hurtful way. Remember, the only way out is through.

2) Reach out to People for Support
That alone will not give you answers, but it will comfort and strengthen you in your search. Reach out to people also for their stories. Find out how others have tried to make sense of suffering. Experience your connectedness to those who have explored the depths of their pain through words, art, film.

3) Accept the World as Imperfect.
Natural disasters, accidents, illness, and human acts of free will are all expressions of an im perfect world and imperfect persons. They are beyond our control. Even when our own actions bring on suffering, these actions are the result of our limitations, our weaknesses that we haven't yet been able to correct.

4) Realize You are Not Alone.
You share the experience of suffering with others. It's a part of being human. If you live fully, if you love deeply, you open yourself to deep hurt. And like you, others have asked why me? " To learn the reason you suffer" the wise man told the seeker, "find a home where suffering has never entered" The seeker could find no such home and that itself was one kind of answer.

5) If you have a religious tradition, examine what it says about suffering.
The question of suffering has been a fundamental concern of religions throughout all of history. Tragic events can shatter your belief systems, leaving you doubting all that you once found helpful and comforting, leaving you spiritually empty. You may need to rebuild theh structure that once gave meaning to your life - - or to build a new one that makes more sense to you now.

6) Work through resentment, blame, anger and hostility and then - let it go.
It is natural to feel negative emotions toward anyone you see as causing or contributing to the tragedy - the driver who hit the car, the physician who failed, the criminal and sometimes toward yourself and your God.

You need to face these emotions, and even acknowledge that some part of them may never leave you. But then let go as best you can. Strive to move beyond.

7) Stay open to growth and transformation.
Suffering in itself may seem meaningless, but you can find meaning in your response to it. You've faced perhaps the deepest, the most difficult of all questions. Let yourself grow from this experience.
Become more compassionate, open yourself to others in their woundedness. Work to improve the world, embrace healing, embrace life.

Living life fully - Though you may never solve the question of suffering, you can accept it as a mystery that is an inevitable part of life. Don't let that realization stop you from living passionately, profoundly, intensely.

On the contrary, let your knowledge of suffering move you to cherish life's every moment.

Easton PD Wife

September 1, 2008

I was just reading the poem just left and how beautiful and moving, and as I am typing this, tears are still rolling down my face. I think of Savannah, and can imagine her being that little girl. It's Labor day this weekend, and on September 25th, it will be 3 1/2 years since Jesse passed away. No matter how much time has passed though, there will never be any doubt as to what a great father Jesse was.

Easton PD Wife

August 29, 2008

Mrs. Sollman, I saw this poem and it reminded me of your little girl and your husband. Its kinda long but beautiful. God bless you.

Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home..

But the little girl went to school
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
A man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere there in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
He’s my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It’s like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

I know you're with me Daddy,'
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity.

Anonymous

August 26, 2008

Hello Carin,

I was sitting at my EMS station today, hearing all the different calls go out, and all of a sudden started thinking about Jesse, then you, and your children. I still remember that day hearing the tones drop for Easton EMS. I also still remember the chill that went up my back when I heard the dispatchers voice, knowing it was bad. My mind started to wander, thinking about how you could survive this, how you can get up and get out of bed every single day. You must be an incredibly strong person to do this. I know if I were in your shoes, I don't think I could do it.

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you, your husband and your children. Take care...and keep your head up.

Eric S
Emergency Medical Services

August 24, 2008

Carin~

Songs bring lots of tears and moments of reflection. Down in Washington,DC this year, Jo Dee Messina was a guest, and sang on the lawn of the Capital. She sang a song titled "Heaven was needing a Hero." That song is just beautiful, and so fitting as a tribute to those who lost their live in the line of duty. Make sure you remove your make up before you listen to it.

Thinking of you always...we will never forget Jesse. And we will never forget you and the kids. Much love your way.

Donna
Wife of a Bethlehem PD Officer

August 10, 2008

Dear Officer Sollman,

I am a Lehigh Valley resident and I often think of you, although I have never met you. I am still pained by the senselessness of your death, three years later. Getting shot in your own police station, by another officer, in a tragic accident, is not a way to die for someone like you, who was committed to making his neighborhood a better place and had so much to offer to the world. You could have died shot by a suspect, or in a car crash while responding to a call, but that? That was not a fitting death for you.

I hope that the way you died is not what people will remember most about you in the end - you deserve to be remembered, first and foremost, for the man you were, the aspirations you had, the values you lived by.

May you look after your family and your law enforcement brothers and sisters, and give them all strength in the years ahead.

Anonymous

August 2, 2008

hey uncle jesse,
i was looking up lyrics today and theres a song that i started to look at and i thought id tell you about it,
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear your laugh' in the rain
I still can't believe you're gone

(Chorus)
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

(Chorus)
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Today, Today, Today...
Today, Today, Today...

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, Someday...

i miss you sooo much. its still hard talking about you but i know your in a better place now, and one day ill see you again. I havent seen aunt carin savannah and jacob in a while but im sure there doing fine. we all miss you, and it really sucks that god chose you. but i just wanted to tell you that im thinking about you, your never off my mind. i love you even though when i was little i used to run to my mom everytime you tried to hug her :)
i love and miss you!
love always,
lexie

Anonymous

July 29, 2008

Dear Daddy,

I love you so so much. I'm sorry that you had to get shot in the back. I wish that it never happened ever and that you were alive. And I'm sorry that you are in Heaven and we really miss you. I wish you were back down on Earth and I love you daddy.

Love Jacob

July 26, 2008

Hey Jes ~

It's been a while since I left a reflection, but you know I visit every day. I have so much to say to you and so many things to tell you - I'll leave a longer reflection later but for now I wanted to leave the lyrics to a new Carrie Underwood song I heard today that made me stop what I was doing so I could sit and listen. It's really a beautiful song and reading the lyrics doesn't do it justice - you have to hear it sung. It's amazing and I wanted to share it with you.

.....when the church doors opened up wide she put her veil down trying to hide the tears
Oh she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band and the flowers fell out of her hands

Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream......

The preacher man said let's bow our heads and pray
Lord, please lift his soul and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard
Then they handed her a folded up flag and
She held on to all she had left of him and oh, what could have been
And then the guns rang one more shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart

Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream.......

Even though you've been gone for over 3 years now, some days this all still seems like a dream, Jes. It still seems so impossible that you are never coming home again, never going to be here with us again - the finality of it all is very hard to accept and some days I still find myself feeling that same sense of disbelief I had the day you were shot.

I love you, Jes, and I miss you more than I could ever put into words. We feel your loss, and your absence, every minute of every day and we would give anything to have you here with us.

Always and forever.
~ Carin

July 26, 2008

Jesse, the summer holidays have come and gone, Memorial Day, Fathers Day and 4th of July . . .and looking around the corner, Labor day will be here before you know it. People around me sometimes are so unhappy with their lives, it makes me so frustrated. I guess I too am one of them from time to time, too hot out, too much to do, too little time, I guess that it just human nature, but I always will remember what was taken from you and your family. I think that it what draws me back to your site - - to remember how fortunate I am to just have life in front of me. Yeah, it is crappy at times, but it is big, and beautiful and full of everything that I hold so dear. I just never want to fall into the trap of forgetting how quickly all of that can be gone. I give Carin a tremendous amount of respect for picking up the pieces and moving forward. I wish I could say that I know what she is going through, but I can't, but I do care. I care that she is okay and that Savannah and Jacob are okay.

One thing for sure Jesse, you knew how to live. Some people go through their entire lives and never will know the true enjoyment of life that you experienced. Your love of life has been a constant inspiration.

To Savannah and Jacob . . .know that your father was a great, great man and to Carin, know that you are in our hearts and prayers every day. I know Jesse would want you to live on the way he would, full of life without ever looking back. Know that his memory will always be there, it will never be forgotten, in fact, it is what is guiding us all along the way.

Easton PD Wife

July 26, 2008

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow


So I won’t say good bye, just I’ll see you when I get home.

Mercy Me

June 22, 2008

Happy Father's Day Jes! Miss you just as much now as always. Until we can be together again...

Nick

June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day, Jes.

I didn't think this day would bother me this year, but I realized first thing this morning how much it does. I kept the kids home from church, I just can't bear the thought of them sitting in their Sunday School classrooms with all the other kids making cards for their daddies knowing that their daddy isn't here - it just breaks my heart. It truly is the loss that lasts forever and some days it still feels as fresh as if it was yesterday. I miss you so much it hurts.

Jacob graduated from kindergarten last week. I wish you could have been there to see him, he looked so adorable. I gave him a fresh haircut the night before so he looked really nice; he has been begging me for a mohawk and I promised he could have one in in the summer - but "absolutely NOT" for graduation because it wasn't appropriate - well, you should have seen how many kindergartners walked into that auditorium with mohawks. It's a Bangor thing I guess. Anyway, his hair should be long enough in July to get one and he can keep it until school starts at the end of August. I know you probably would have told him NO but it's just his hair and it doesn't seem like that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

Both of the kids did really great in school this year, you would be so proud of them. Jacob met all of his goals for Speech and will most likely be discharged from therapy in the fall - people who meet him now for the first time don't even realize he ever had a problem, he worked really hard and has done a great job. His report card was excellent too, he is really bright and smart and is advanced in almost every area just like Savannah. She still amazes me sometimes with how smart she is - she was reading at a 5th grade level at the end of the year and her best subject is MATH (she didn't get that from either of us!). It's hard to believe they will be in 1st and 4th grade next year, times goes by so fast.

I've worked really hard again on the house. It was tough this year, I had trouble getting motivated to do anything I had to really force myself to get out there and get things done. I kept track of how many hours it took just to clean up all the leaves from the yard and the pool area (21!) Plus weeding and cleaning up the landscaping, scrubbing all the porch and deck furniture, mowing the lawn (I've learned to do at least the front in straight lines) - it's a lot of work for me and some days I still feel resentful that you aren't here to help me. Then other days I look around and feel a real sense of accomplishment for doing it all myself! I still haven't mastered weedwacking and I feel like there are always 10 more things to be done but I think overall I'm doing a good job, and I think you'd be happy.

We really miss you, Jes. I know you are in Heaven and that we will all be together again someday, but I wish so much that you were still here with us. I can't believe you've been gone over 3 years, it just doesn't seem possible that so much time has passed without you. And I look at the kids and realize that Jacob is the same age now as Savannah was when you died and that REALLY makes me realize all that he has missed, all that they both have missed. They were both just babies when you left us, Jes. They were your babies and when I think of how much you loved them and what a good daddy you were, it's almost unbearable. It overwhelms me to dwell on how much they've lost and how much was taken from you and on how awful the whole situation is.

We miss you, Jes. We miss you and we love you and we wish you were here with us. Happy Father's Day in Heaven.

Always and forever ~
Carin

June 15, 2008

Happy Fathers Day!!! Wish you could be here with your kids.

June 15, 2008

Tomorrow is Fathers Day and Jesse, you will not be there to enjoy your beautiful children. We know you are watching over everyone, especially Carin, Savannah and Jacob, and we pray that you are watching over your fellow Easton officers, and every day your memory has lived on - but it is not the same. Certainly Carin's life has changed forever; coping with such a loss is impossible for me to imagine, and now with Savanah and Jacob, growing up without their dad beside them. I cannot imagine.

You are missed by so many. At every opportunity when your fellow officers are out together, there is always a "Jesse" story that comes up- - and it always ends with how much they miss you. You touched so many people's lives.

Just want to let you know that you are being thought of on this Father's day. Your memory will always be with us all, and you will never be forgotten.

Easton PD Wife

June 14, 2008

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow


So I won’t say good bye, just I’ll see you when I get home.

Mercy Me

June 12, 2008

I was thinkning of you today. I was out at my lawyers in Pen Argyl. (aren't you out that way?) More money spent to fight the injustices spewed upon my family and I by this township and the school district. Anyway, Carin, I am sorry about Willard. I know you were talking to me about it at the Hannah Montana movie. I had to let go of my beloved dog a year ago and it is just so much heartache. I hope you are doing ok. Please keep in touch. Miss ya

chrissy gilbert
wife of 812

June 7, 2008

I put a candle on the wall by your name in D.C. We think of you all often, and always with love.

Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom

June 3, 2008

Carin, so sorry to hear about the lose of your kitty. It is funny how pets become so much of a part of our lives. Especially when they have been in the family for a long time, they seem to bridge all of the memories we share. I am sure Jesse will take good care of him, having I am sure some fun in between.

Take care of yourself, the kids seem to be so resilient, always seeming to manage to hold onto life.

Easton PD Wife

May 28, 2008

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