Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

Easton Police Department, Pennsylvania

End of Watch Friday, March 25, 2005

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

JOURNEY - The bend in the road is not the end of the road, unless you refuse to take the turn.

February 28, 2008

YOU ARE REMEMBERED TODAY AND THANK YOU SIR FOR YOUR POLICE AND MILITARY SERVICE

VANDENBERGHE
MANCHESTER, NH

February 25, 2008

Thankyou OFFICER SOLLMAN for your service and sacrifice. You are a true hero to us all and will never be forgotten. GOD bless your family

POLICE OFFICER
PHILA PA

February 20, 2008

Carin...just thinking of you and Jess and the kids...we're getting there girl...we really are! Just keep pushing on. I wish you were closer so we could get together! Love you my sister...Chrissy

February 15, 2008

Hey Uncle Jesse, miss you tons.
haven't wrote here in awhile so stopping by to say hello.
well each and every moment your on my mind.. well today im actually going down to jess's college with her boyfriend and a few of family friends. It will be a good time. my basketball season is going by fast, only 3 more games!! i love it with a passion.. i actually wish you could see one of my games. but our record like 15-5 right now.. its not to bad, could be better. im doing pretty well in school, as the year goes on and it keeps getting harder, but im holding up my grades. Well the family is doing well.And im so excited mike is coming home at the end of feburary! Aunt Tracey is having a huge party for him.im cant wait to see him.He changed alot. And the funny thing is my mom hired this girl that is mikes bestfriend, and now me and her are like bestfriends, ha. shes one of a kind, she says shes going to marry him. but i have to jump in the shower and head off to work. love you and miss you tons, im sure ill be back on here soon!
always in my heart, savannah.

February 9, 2008

Carin, your reflections are always just amazing. It seems like I can never find the right words to day, I found, not that long ago, a pamphlet of dealing with the loss of a loved one. It seemed to give all the right answers and steps to take, but of course, I cannot find it now, perhaps when I finally go through the mail it will pop up. I do wish I had it though, as I wish I could offer some advice. I wish I could tell you how things are going to be, and that life will get easier, maybe someday love will be a part of your life, but I do not have those answers. I do know a few things though which I hope you find comforting. Jesse was an great man. I will never forget the day he was shot, it just seemed impossible to hear those words that he didn't make it. Not Jesse, it was such a sombering incident that reminded us all how precious life is. He will never be forgotten, he made such an impact on his fellow police officers, and every person he touched. Everybody knew Jesse, and he was loved by all. I cannot imagine how hard all of this has been for you and the kids. You seem to be doing such a fantastic job. It is hard to believe that Savannah and Jacob are getting so old. You have really had to not only deal with such difficult choices, but do it on your own. Who knows what is in your future, but Jesse's memory will always be there regardless of what path you take. You will bring it forward with you, how could you not, its really a part of who you are. But Jesse of all people would not wanted you to stop living, and having fun, and just enjoying life. But how do tell someone when it is the person they have lost is the dearest person in their life- -you are right. It almost seems like you might be betraying him. I try so hard to think of things from your perspective, there isn't a day that goes by that I do not think that it could have been my husband there. But you are right, this is not about betrayal, this is about living life and you owe it to yourself and your children to share with them the things they'll miss from Jesse. The love of life, the pure enjoyment of what each day brings. In the movie Raising Helen, if you have never seen it, the mother (who dies along with her husband in a car crash) leaves her children in the hands of the 'unlikely, undomesticated' sister (as opposed to the sister who created the supermom theory). In the end of the movie, when they share the letters they each received from the sister (who wrote them before she passed away as a part of her will) her reasoning for leaving her children with Helen was because Helen was most like her, and she wanted her children to be with people who were most like their mom. I thought this was very interesting. So, who knows what your future will hold, god knows I can barely forecast the next 5 minutes, but know that it was meant to be lived the way Jesse would want you to live it. Full of life, fun and meaning.

Easton PD Wife

February 5, 2008

Jes,
It's been awhile since I last wrote you, but we visit here every day. Just coming here keeps us close to you in our hearts. Thanksgiving, Your Birthday, your wedding anniversary, Christmas, and New Years have come and gone again. Just remembering how much you loved the holidays and being with Carin and the kid's, buying present's, and the family dinners makes us miss you more each day. Carin allowed us to buy your winter blanket this year, for which we are greatful; and you know we visited with you for awhile when we placed it there. I will be over shortly so I can just sit and talk to you for awhile.

I just started to write (the third year of the anniversary of your E.O.W. is coming up) and when I thought about it the word anniversary really doesn't belong here. Easter week is the hardest week of the year for us. It reminds us that Christ rose from the dead to save us from our sins, and you ascended into heaven to be at the right hand of God the father.

Jesse, not a day goes by that we do not miss you. Not a day goes by that we do not think about you. As long as we hold this love for you in our hearts you will be with us on earth. We will put the flowers on the alter at church this year either the week before Easter or the week after, were not sure yet. We will ask the congregation to sing "On Eagles Wings" as we continue to hold you in our hearts.

Love Mom & Dad

Mom & Dad

February 2, 2008

Hey Jes ~

I was reading reflections on another officer's site yesterday - Officer Mark Sawyer, EOW 6/5/04 - and I was so inspired by something his widow said. She recently got remarried and has had another baby, and she commented that people assume because she is married again that she doesn't miss Mark anymore, or that she isn't sad anymore. She went on to say that she still has good days and bad days, and that (this is the part I love) by finding happiness again she isn't moving on and leaving him behind but is, rather, moving forward and taking him with her. I think it's a beautiful way of looking at it and it means so much for me to hear her say it.

I've been struggling so much with so many different emotions, and all the other widows I talk or email with struggle with them as well......how do you balance the desire to find love and happiness again with the sense of loss and sadness that is still such a part of our lives? It's really tough to not feel like being happy again would be a betrayal to your memory - the logical part of me knows of course that you would want me to be happy, but the emotional part of me hasn't quite gotten there yet.

But anyway, enough about me......

The kids are doing great, Jes. They just got their report cards and Savannah's was amazing - outstanding in just about everything with nothing but positive comments from her teacher (she even managed to finally stop talking so much in class, which has been her issue since kindergarten). She's reading on a 4rth grade level and is in a special reading group with a couple other girls from her class. You would be so happy and proud of how smart she is.

Jacob's report card was also very good, but with kindergarten it's more of just a checklist. But he is right on track with all of his skills and is doing just great. His speech has improved so much over this past year, the therapy has really helped him he speaks so much clearer now. He has his 6 year check-up this afternoon I can't wait to see how much he has grown this year - I'm betting at least 4 inches. He's so skinny Jes, he's all knees and elbows. Such a cutie.

Well I have to go pick up Savannah from school and head over to the pediatrician. I love you, Jes.

Always and Forever
~ Carin

January 31, 2008

Carin, Savannah and Jacob, Just a note to let you know that we are thinking of you and the kids. I know time is quickly going by, but never will Jesse be forgotten or the pain and struggles that you have had to endure be forgotten. Prayers go out to you always,

Easton PD Wife

January 22, 2008

Hey Jes ~

This poem was written by a mother who lost her young daughter to cancer - I found it on another website I visit - but I think it's perfect for anyone who has suffered a loss whether it be a child, a spouse or a parent.

To Honor You
by Connie Kiefer Boyd

To honor you, I get up every day and take a breath and start another day without you in it.

To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.

To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love. I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked and sing at the top of my lungs with the windows rolled down.

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.

You were my light, my heart, my gift from the very highest source.

So everyday, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh and love.

Now I live for both, so all I do, I honor you.


I love you, Jes, and will forever honor you by living enough for both of us. I miss you terribly and wish so much that you were still here. Always and forever.

~ Carin

January 22, 2008

Jesse, I just wanted to say that you are thought of often and missed by so many. You were so well liked and just the life of the party. You have a wonderful wife who is truly doing a great job at being a proud wife and mother. It's 2008, new year, new beginnings, and after my own experiences of loss, I have to say that you are living on. Living on in the hearts of so many that you touched in so many different ways. All I can hope as a mother is that my son is thought of often by others but he didn't have time to touch many lives. I know he lives on in my heart with an unbelievable amount of love. As you live on in the hearts of your wife and children forever.
Carin- you are doing a great job as you go on this unwanted journey through grief and are truly a thoughtful person. Thank you again for your thoughtfulness to my husband and me for our son.
Many blessings to you,
Wendy

Wendy M.

January 19, 2008

Happy New Year to you and the kiddos Carin! Hi to Jes also- our Heavenly Police Officer! I just read some of the posts I have missed and of course I am in tears- as always!!!!!! Sadly I spent Christmas and New Years watching my step-mom slowly die. I had to be there at my Daddy's side. She passed on the 1st of the year and hopefully she is up there with Jes and he is making her laugh! She was in so much agony in the end. So Jes----take care of my Mom, ok? I am praying that 2008 brings you the Peace that you deserve girl! You are an awesome woman and Mother. I can not wait to take our little Princesses to see Hannah Montana in February! I love you girl! See you soon!

Kisses
chrissy

chrissy gilbert
wife of disabled Officer Gilbert Whitehall PD

January 10, 2008

Carin, your last reflection made me think of this poem, mostly because there is no rhyme or reason to what happen, and I do not think we'll ever understand why Jesse was shot. The poem makes you think, and I am not sure if Jesse was for a reason, season or lifetime, in my own way, I think it is all three - - in any case, you have had to pick up the pieces and make sense out of it (somehow) so I hope in some way, you find it meaningful.

Reason, Season and Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part
or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered
and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,
it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
those things you must build upon
in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person/people (anyway);
and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

.

Easton PD Wife

January 7, 2008

Hey Jes ~

I was flipping through a magazine this morning while waiting on the bus stop with the kids and I came across this little poem.......it's amazing how some things just speak directly to my heart on days when I seem to need it the most.

I miss you now more than ever before
But, I trust that God will open a door
And show me how to go on without you
To give me some hope and comfort too.

For you were my life and I loved you so dear
And it breaks my heart to not have you near.
But, life goes on and I will too
I just wish it wouldn't go on without you.

All My Love.....

The past few days have been difficult. I just keep praying and reminding myself that God has a plan. My life certainly isn't turning out to be what I ever thought or imagined, but I have to have hope that - in time - it will all be alright and everything will make sense.

I miss you and I love you. Always and forever.
~ Carin

January 4, 2008

Happy New Year Jes,

It's been a while since I have left a reflection, but I want you to know that I check your site everyday, probably twice a day. I think of you often and really miss your friendship and working with you.

I want you to know that Carin is doing an outstanding job in raising the kids, she is a truly a great mother and works very hard raising them and taking care of the house. You should be very proud of her, and I am sure you are.

Please keep watch over all of us and guide Carin and the kids.

Mike

Mike

January 1, 2008

Happy New Year Jes... One more down until we can all celebrate together again.

I just want you to know how amazing I think your wife is and how much I truly do appreciate her friendship now that you are gone. I wish that we could have all gotten together more often when you were still here but life's little annoyances, like work, just didn't allow it. She's a good woman Jes and I am sure that you are very proud of her. I know that I am! She always seems to say and do the right things at just the right time! I am sure as she reads this, she knows exactly to what I am referring.

Thank you Carin for everything! For thinking of us when it seems that everybody else has forgotten. For allowing me to stay in your and your beautiful children's lives when it seems that everybody else has forgotten. But mostly for allowing Jesse to be the man that he was, the cop that he was and the friend that he was. It truly is an honor for me to call him one of my closest friends. He really is a true hero.

Jes, thank you again for taking care of my little man. With your guidance and love I am sure that he will turn out to be nothing but the best little angel that he can be! Show him how to get used to those little wings of his.

Until we can be together again my friend...

Nick

December 31, 2007

Jess,

Just wanted to stop in and let you know that we are thinking of you and all of your loved ones as the new year arrives. Wrap your wings around Carin and the children, let them feel your presence so they know you are watching over them and protecting them. You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

December 31, 2007

Hey Jes ~

This is probably at least the 10th time this week I have sat down to leave a reflection here, but each time I try the words just don't seem to come out right. I feel like I just say the same things over and over again - I love you, I miss you, I wish you were here with us - and while they are all still very true, I'm almost tired of hearing myself say it and I feel the need to say something different.

You and I always really loved the holiday season - and not just because of Christmas but because of New Years, too. Not the actual celebration on New Years Eve (one of us was usually working) but the whole concept of a fresh start. A new beginning. A chance to start again, to start over and do things better. It's really just rhetorical - there isn't any real difference between December 31st and January 1st - but it's the idea that the "New Year" brings with it endless hope and possibility (or at least enough to last another 12 months).

I read a great book called "Overcoming Life's Disappointments" and there is a quote in it that I find myself going back and reading again and again and I want to put it here. "I can only understand the phrase 'a full and complete blessing' to mean the experience of life in its fullness, tasting everything that life has to offer, the bitter and the sweet, the honey and the bee stings, love and loss, joy and despair, hope and rejection. The blessing of completeness means a full life, not an easy life, a hard road, not a smooth one, a life that strikes the black keys and the white keys on the keyboard so that every available emotional tone is sounded. If you have been brave enough to love, and sometimes you won and sometimes you lost; if you have cared enough to try, and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't; if you have been bold enough to dream and found yourself with some dreams that came true and a lot of broken pieces of dreams that didn't, that fell to the earth and shattered, then you can look back from the mountaintop you now find yourself standing on......and can realize how full your life has been and how richly you are blessed."

I find myself feeling like I'm finally standing on that mountaintop, looking back on the events of the past few years and realizing, in spite of all the pain and grief, how richly blessed I am. Realizing how blessed I was to be married to a man who loved me as much as you did, how blessed I am to have been given our 2 amazing children, and how blessed I am to be surrounded by friends and family that love us. I find myself really looking forward to the end of 2007 and believing that 2008 is going to be full of good things for me and the kids - fresh starts, new beginnings, renewed hope and continued blessings.

I love you, Jes. I love you and I miss you and I wish you were here with us. But I know you are watching and I know you are with us in spirit. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I love you, Jes. Always and Forever.

~ Carin

December 30, 2007

Carin, Savannah and Jacob, Merry Christmas and many wishes for the best in the new year. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you all during this very joyous yet difficult time. I know the holidays must be especially hard to manage. I just hope that you know that you are thought of often and that somehow that gives you a little bit of peace in your heart to know that neither Jesse or what you have had to deal with, has been forgotten.

Easton PD Wife

December 26, 2007

Officer Sollman,
Today we remember you as another holiday is upon us. Your family and friends are in my thoughts tonight as they make it through this holiday remembering the husband, father, son and friend you were. A hero forever.

Lehigh Valley Citizen

December 24, 2007

Merry Christmas Jes-
I asked Colton to give you a gift from me and I'm sure that you can use it. I stopped by and dropped off some gifts for the kids from the FOP Christmas Party and Wendy and I spent quite some time visiting at the house with Carin and the kids, but I'm sure you already know that. It felt good to get back in touch with them after that other issue. She's doing good Jes, and you should be very proud of her, as I am sure that you are. The kids are getting big and Jacob's speech has gotten so much clearer. He still does that funny toe walking thing but it made me smile to think he's just as goofy as his old man. I miss you pal. Until we can all be together again...

Nick

December 24, 2007

Buddy, I don't where to start and I know you may never physically read this, but I believe you will know in a special way what I am writing. I don't know where to start and this may go all over the place, but I wanted to share what you meant to me and what I learned from you. The first time I ever met you was at you and Carin's wedding rehearsal. When Dianne introduced us you looked me right in the eye, said you were glad to meet me, that if Dianne chose me that I was certainly an upstanding guy, and your handshake was strong as any I ever had. From day one, you treated me like a friend and someone you had known for a long time. I can remember at the rehearsal dinner you introduced me to frineds and fellow officers. Something you wouldn't have had to do having just met me, but it just speaks to the good guy you were and the caring person you were. I can remember all the talks we had just about every tme we were together about how lucky we both were to have wonderful wives, and good, healthy children. Although Dianne, the boys and I live 2 1/2 hours away in Juniata County, PA, we had a special bond and always enjoyed getting together. I'll never forget the ride-alongs I shared with you. The way your driving scared the crap out of me and the way each time I came down you introduced me to all the other officers on duty that night before we went out. You let them know I was in probation and parole and that I knew what was going on. You made me feel like I belonged. I can remember on cold, cold night when I was ill equipped for the weather and you gave me you beanie hat to wear when we walked the streets. And on subsequent trips to visit, when we were out running around and would drop by one of your friends houses, you'd always introduce me and go the extra mile to make me feel welcome. I always wonder what our friendship would have been like if we had lived closer and would have been able to hang out more often. I'll never forget the way you pitched in to help us "pinch" bulls to turn them into steers and also helped de-horn them. No fear, just jumped right in and did what came naturally. Great times we had on vacations man. I still have the round, yellow, floating life preserver you bought in Ocean City one year. I thought, "What the heck is he going to do with that little thing here at the ocean?" Well, you soon showed me and we took turns floating out beyond the breaking waves foating around till the life guards blew the whistles because we were too far out. I still take a ceremonial float or two (as I'm sure you see) when we go on vacation. I miss the beer drinking, pictures booths, sandcastles, and ice cream eating times we shared. But GREAT memories I am thankful to have. And the way we both liked to eat. Boy we could put the food away. I met my match with you man. I had never seen anyone eat one steak off the grill before we got the other ones to the table. And you loved Dianne's beef roasts. Never anything left. Of all the things so far in my life I wished I hadn't had to see, it would be your veiwing and funeral. But Buddy, it was just like you would have wanted for some one else (not yourself as you always put others first). It was the most honorable thing I've ever seen. Coming out of that Church and seeing the hundreds and hundreds of police lined up and the SWAT truck in waiting. Top notch honor and respect for a TOP NOTCH guy. One regret I'll always have is that I didn't ask to speak at your funeral. I heard the pastor asking your bother and sister if they wanted to speak and I was uncertain if that offer extended to others as well so I didn't ask him if I could speak. I should have. I should have shared with others what you meant to me and some of the fun times we had. I know I speak to you now as I'm driving, floating in the ocean, praying, and you know what I think of you, so I guess that is all that matters. I had mentioned putting others first. I recall on one ride-along there was this develomentally delayed, mildly mentally retarded young man crossing the street carrying a pizza as we drove down the street toward him. You stopped right there on the street, got out of the car and introduced yourself so he could recall you from previous times you had spoke to him. He had wet his pants and you told him to be more careful when he crossed the street and to get home and changed his clothes so he'd be dry. No one else on earth may have seen that and I'm sure there are hundreds more stories like that where you took time you wouldn't have had to let someone know you cared. And Buddy, I'm pretty sure the Chief Dispatcher in Heaven has noted each one of those good deeds. I want you to know (and in our little talks you heard this before) how sorry I am for the incident I had with Carin and Jacob at the Outer Banks a couple years ago. It was one thing for it to happen and it was another to let it go and not make it right before she up and left. We have talked and made it right since (Again, I know you already know this) and handling my anger and patience is something I know I need to work on every day. Carin looks just beautiful man (the Christmas card is awesome). She is doing a great job with the kids and I am very thankful we still travel back and forth to stay part of each other's lives. The boys miss their Uncle Jesse, but we talk of you often and the fun times and memories we have. I talk with them of appreciating family and their parents as we have learned a very painful lesson from you and your passing. I'm going to sign off for now Buddy, I love you man and appreciate all the guidance you give me from afar. You were/are a blessing to me man and I hope I can pass on your generosity, caring, stand-up, top notch ways to others. Unit 56, I appreciate your watch.

Brian Watts
Friend

December 24, 2007

Carin, Savannah, Jacob...just in case I don't get to talk to you I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas...although it may seem impossible, I know you can find a happy moment in the next few days...We love you guys...Chrissy, Alex and CJ

December 22, 2007

uncle jesse
wow, i have been thinking about you a lot lately. I guess to just stop in and say hello. I miss you so much and wish you were still here to see me. I got so much older. I play basketball now and i made captain again! two years in a row, wish you could see one of my games.. Well the family doing good, my sister got a new boyfriend, his names paulie. Really nice. i actually think they are gonna get married.. well i can't believe you aren't here.. everything is so different, i went to new york yesterday and went into that famous church and lit a candy for you. Love you uncle jess miss you so much. keep watching over everyone.always remember the strongest.everythings so different without you. there are a thousand words i could say, but it still wouldnt be enough.you are missed , every single minute of every single day, i miss you so much, love you.
always savannah cappiello.

December 16, 2007

Happy Birthday Jesse!As I read the reflections from both Carin and Nick, yes, I can only imagine how you would be up there, making everybody else happy, dancing around, just being Jesse . . .(ha ha, the image is frightening!) Carin, I don't think I can ever know what it is like for you this time of year, all the reminders, and my heart goes out to Savannah and Jacob.It must be really hard for them, I am sure they try to be all mature about it, but I know it must really be hard, and for you too. What you said below made me think about when you hurt one of your fingers, and you just do not realize how much you use that finger, or for so many things that you need it for, or how much you need to do different because you just cannot use it the way you always had, and I am sure that is just how your life has been, and everyday being reminded in some little way that Jesse is just not there. I hope somehow that you find peace in knowing that Jesse will never be forgotten, and that you, and Savannah and Jacob are in so many people's prayers. Never will we forget what you have had to deal with . . . .we may not feel it like you do, but we care that you are okay.

Easton PD Wife

December 15, 2007

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