Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Just from reading a few pages of these reflections I can
see how much you were loved by both your families. I
am sorry our society can be so violent and cruel. Of course you are hated by those who are intent on inflicting pain on others because you oppose them. I
hope your brothers carry on in your name and make you
proud. It is a very difficult and scary job that only a certain breed can do. Our hearts go out to them for
putting their lives on the line for strangers each and every day. May the good Lord protect them and watch
over your family. Thinking of you on the 3rd anniversary
of your EOW.
Lynn Kole
Washington State

April 15, 2007

Stephan, the trial for Rivera starts tomorrow. We are praying for the out come that will bring justice, and closure for Michelle, and your children, and the entire community of Merced.

I pray to God to give Michelle strength to get through this.

Rest well, you deserve it.

Former Brother in Blue
APD

April 13, 2007

I just want you to know that we are praying for your loved ones. Some many people are trying to cope with you leaving this life. It has been three years and it seems like yesterday you were part of our family. I am your brother Tony's sister in law. I see his hurt everyday. He misses you so much. It is hard to see the good in a bad situation, but I do see the love that is displayed from Tony towards his family. I know you have influenced him with your family values and he is going to pattern his self after his baby brother. We just had Easter and I do remember the Easter we had at Lynda and Tony's house so many years ago. You, Michelle and the kids were there. We had so much fun watching the kids play musical chairs. That Tonilee is growing up to be a little Tony Gray. I am not too good at this type of stuff but I thought I would let you know how much you influenced so many peoples lives. Rest in Peace

Sheila

Sheila
Friend

April 10, 2007

Rest in peace, your bravery will be remembered>

Offc. Michael Walker
Tallahassee Police Department

April 9, 2007

Officer Gray,
I read an artcile on your trial in the paper the other day & I would just like Michelle & your children to know that we are all praying & thinking of them. I would also like to thank you as much as I possibly can for your selfless sacrifice almost three years ago & thank your wife & children for giving up their wonderful husband & father. We also want justice for you & your family. May God be with you & your family.

Merced Citizen

April 3, 2007

The trial for your killer starts around the 12th and the 3rd year of you being gone is on the 15th. I can't figure out how to feel about this one. I hope Michelle and your family feel the support that is around them.
There's so much more that I miss now about you being gone. You should be walking around with stripes on your sleeve, or at least bouncing around with all that energy because you're having way too much fun out there. I don't know if you'd still be in gangs, I can see you upstairs in a suit in detectives where you'd still be getting jokes cracked on you, driving with rocks in your hubcaps and getting picked for all those great undercover stings. I think I'm starting to miss the good times that we would of had more than the ones we did have.
Everyone is getting ready for the trial, making plans for the long drive and the overnight stays. It's all a little unknown right now but we'll be there for you and your family.

57-16
106
Never Forget


MPD

April 3, 2007

Stephan
It has been almost three years now since your tragic death.

You were an excellent officer who always did his best to do whats right in the community.

Ill never forget the time you took me in cuffs to my grandmothers door as a prank,and how she nearly had a heart attack,or all the 4th of JULY's you amazed us all with your crazy fireworks.

Your endless jokes that always made me laugh."bad cop no donut!"

I always thought of you as an inteligent person who i should learn from.you were always full of advice and insight towards everything.

You will always be remembered as a hero to us all.the world could use more men like you.


R.I.P. STEPHAN G.GRAY 106

we'll never forget 57-16

John Kulbeth
Friend

March 3, 2007

Stephan,

I have not forgotten you. I think of you often. God bless your family. You are in my prayers. Rest in Peace....

Officer Tom Melden
CHP Los Banos

California Highway Patrol, Los Banos

February 28, 2007

Hey,
Just thinking of you today. Things get better, things get worse but overall we're making it through. Just miss you. Trials getting closer, so is your annaversary date. Don't know how it'll go this year but we'll be there again.

February 28, 2007

Time has been going by so fast. The trial starts in a little over a month. It's going to be hard since the trial and the third anniversary of you being stolen from us are going to be happening almost at the same time. There are so many people still struggling to deal with everything, even after the conviction there will be appeals and then the waiting. With the trial coming up remember we'll take care of Michelle as best we can. She's going to have all of us ready to do whatever needs to be done to help her and the kids through this. We'll do whatever she needs us to do.

It's been a year since CHP officer Earl Scott was killed, an article in the Modesto Bee about him made me think of you. So many emotions rolling around inside, not very many of them good ones.

Sorry this seems a little down, right now I'm more aware of what we lost with your death than thinking about the good times. So many things you're missing. I would LOVE to hear you explain the whole Wesley Snipes thing. :-) You'd have everyone rolling and there'd be some serious teasing and joking going on. So many things...


106
Never forget.

MPD

February 18, 2007

its new years and has been far too long since i have been here to visit with you. I am using Vonnies computer as ours is in limbo waiting for our move. I was just waiting for you to call and wish me a happy new year like always. Always calling from work. It still is so hard, we miss you and will soldier on for you in 2007 just like always. Hopefully after the trial you will be able to rest in peace a little, you deserve that and so much more.
Love you
michelle and the babies

michelle gray

December 31, 2006

Stephan,

It's been too long since I left you a note. I think about you every single day. I got out of Merced and moved to the beach. It had nothing to do with the job and everything to do with my family. It was bittersweet because Merced PD was starting to be a great place to work and there was a lot of opportunity. For me, and my family, we just weren't happy living in Merced and we got tired of talking about living on the coast. I'm looking forward to my first visit from Michelle and the kids, I know they would love it here and they would have a blast. I haven't talked to Michelle in a while. I've tried but we just seem to miss eachother. I'm sure the holdays have been difficult. I haven't been around enough with the move and everything but I promise you that you and your family will always be part of my family. I miss you.

-Colin

Officer Colin T. Smith
Half Moon Bay PD

December 26, 2006

Things have changed so much around here, I know you would love to be right in the middle of it. The officers you worked with have both stayed in the gang unit and moved on to other assignments but they all have changed in so many little ways. Not too long ago a bunch of us were sitting around talking about promotions and your name was tossed out. What a loss not just for your family, friends and co-workers but also for this community. Your knowledge of gangs is still talked about, you'd be right in the middle of it right now, probably with some stripes on your sleeve.

Sometimes someone will say, "Since Stephan I feel..." as if your death is a before and after benchmark. I wonder if other agencies that have had someone taken from them experience the same feeling, that for some of us your memory is always just below the surface. It pops up at the strangest times at the oddest reminders. Baskin Robbins, a song, sitting at a certain intersection, or a someone asking to "hook a brother up" which always get's a smile.

I remember when Siggy left, it was so tough to watch him leave but those who knew him understood. Now CT has also moved on and it's the same hard thing. Little pieces, conections to you, are gone.

Stephan, the loss of you, the missing you, is still here with us. There will never come a time when I don't come here and both read new memories and write about old ones. Some times there's a big gap when it's just too hard but know that you're always here with us.

106
Never Forget.

November 18, 2006

Stephan

My father was on officer for 28 years, he worked with you many times. i remember the first time i met you, i wasnt very old, my father was called into work for a meeting or something and i was left to sit in briefing. I could hear you singing down the hallway and you came handed me a lolli-pop and asked whos baby i was, you jsut sat there with me and talked to me. i remember years later standing in my front yard with my father and two other officers who were doing a follow-up report on an accident i had been in the night before, then they call came over the radio, before it registered in my head what had just been said my father was in the house grabbing his radio and the two officers were gone. my father was out on job injury and was unable to go into work, ill never forget when dispatch called to let him know your watch had ended. i had never seen my father cry until that moment. it hurt him in more ways then he will ever let anyone know, not only that you were gone but that he was unable to do anything about it. he is retired now but has not forgotten you. once in awhile when we can get him telling stories as all cops do he will mention your smile and laughter.

we all miss you very much.

daughter of fellow mpd officer

November 7, 2006

Hey buddy,

I had a dream about you the other night. We were sitting down, drinking a beer. You asked me how Michelle (my Michelle)and the kids were doing. It ws like old times. Although, we weren't making fun of other people this time!! I awoke from the dream feeling your presence and feeling honored that you found time to visit and ask me how my life is going. I woke up Michelle and asked her if she would believe me if I told her that you came to visit with me in my dreams. "Of course, I would. I hope he always comes to see you", she says. I still talk to some of the guys and we all agree that you would have been the next Sarge!! You had what it takes to be a leader. Yesterday, I was looking at a picture from SWAT practice, (6) days before you were taken from us. This picture captures our conversation about scuba diving in Hawaii. Thank God for Belinda and her pictures. Whenever I pull out my photo album Avery loves to join me. She always points you out and tells me what happened. She remembers our family bar-b-ques, late night dinners at Chevy's and smiles at the picture of you holding her on the day she was born. You will not be forgotten....Miss ya..

Friend

October 31, 2006

Steph,
Another sleepless night. I miss you and sure wish you were just at work like my minds been telling me all night.
Mean how your mind plays those tricks still.
I love you...michelle

michelle gray surviving spouse

September 27, 2006

Just thinking about you a lot the past couple weeks. I walked into an office at another agency and saw your picture up, it's happened twice in the past week. I just walked around the corner and there you were. Now I can almost smile when I see you. Almost.

September 20, 2006

Wow what a crazy week it has been around here. I know you know that there was another officer shot last week. I got the news just before 6 and to hear those words rang in my head so horribly. I am so thankful he is okay. Went to go see him but then I found out he was in the same er room you were and just couldn't do it. I don't think I will ever be able to set foot in that room ever again. But my first thought was that you were definitely there watching over our friend. I told you the town was in total chaos. At least that how it feels to me. I miss you so much I would give anything to bring you home....everyone is thinking about you and miss you too. I love you..michelle

September 5, 2006

The departments had a pretty wild past couple days. On Wednesday Curt got shot. Listening to the officers on scene calling out for an ambulance, that an officer had been shot was something I never thought to hear again. A couple people say that you were watching out for him, his vest saved him. I don't know anything about that, I just know that I don't think the Gang Unit could go through loosing someone in the unit again and neither could the department. Right now everyone's just thankful that EVERYTHING turned out right this time.

September 2, 2006

Your birthday was such a HARD day. I swear whoever says this gets easier hasn't experienced it. It was so hard for me for the first time in 15 years I didn't make your german chocolate cake. I kept thinking I needed to get that done for you. Wierd how you just can't let go of some things. Your birthday Goods and Ward got sworn in as Sgts. wanted to go but just couldn't bring myself to do it. The kids started the new school, Tays doing quite well making friends easily, just like his Daddy. Cameron started kindergarten I know you are there to see them, I can't imagine you not being, you were the most outstanding father. I was so sad to go there alone with her on the first day, I know there are lots of single parents but its just one of those milestones that hurts so much for me and the kids. Lan started sophmore year....you would be SO proud of her. She is an amazing young lady. Your babies are tributes to what a great daddy you are...I miss you and love you....

michelle

August 24, 2006

i would to start off by telling his family that even though he is gone he will still live on in our hearts and that he is come to be someone that we have all come honor and respect. rip stephan

larry
gustine resident

August 24, 2006

Happy Birthday Stephan.

August 22, 2006

Stephan.....only another week to your birthday. Wish you were here to tell you Happy Birthday and to eat "CAKE". LOL
You have been on my mind a lot lately.....just wanted to say we miss you still.

August 14, 2006

Your birthday is fast approaching and we have had such a crazy summer. We miss you, went to the beach with the kids for a couple of days, your favorite Monterey Haa haa. You have been on my mind so heavily its odd how somedays it just consumes me totally that you are gone and how you left. This town is in total chaos and somehow I know you see it all. I often wonder if you are stirring in heaven because you want so desperately to still be out there doing what you loved so much I remember how you would laugh and get all excited telling me your "cop" stories and your leg bail favorites. I hope you are resting but something tells me you are not, I do know that you know I love you thought this might help to leave a reflection to you today
love you
michelle

michelle gray

August 9, 2006

When you go home, tell them of us and say,
for your tomorrow, We gave our today.

-Kohima Epitaph
John Maxwell Edmonds

August 9, 2006