Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

It's coming up on 2 yrs and I still find that I'm stunned. I can't seem to shake the pain of trying to realize your not standing with us.I know your still there,but I wish to see and talk to you. Time is no relief. I'll think of the good things and hope that one day I can have some form of peace in knowing your are in a much better place.I miss you everyday. God bless

Ofc. Richard Morgan #105
Merced P.D.

April 9, 2006

It's coming up on two years, hard to believe. Someone told me that the two year mark is the hardest, God I hope so. I'd like to think that it'll get easier to think about you without missing your big grin and laughter.
We have a new Chief, hopefully this one will finally let us really do something to remember you by. At least your picture in the lobby, something that proves you were a part of this department, a part that's now missing and can never be replaced. We'll see and I'll let you know.

April 8, 2006

Hello,
I can not believe it is April again. I just can't believe it. Time passes regardless. I was thinking about our conversation on the night before you were killed and I am so thankful for that whole night and looking back now I know why God made sure our night unfolded the way it did. Your children are growing so fast and they talk about you all the time. They miss you. So much is going on right now in this house. I know you see it all, I know when you are here, sometimes I swear I could turn around and you would be standing there, just like always. With that beautiful smile and saying something silly to make me laugh just like before. I promised you so many things both in life and death, many have manifested, a couple are in the works. I know you know what they are and I still feel your support. I promise you I will continue to be exactly what you had said that night, the strongest woman you have ever known, looking back it was like you were preparing me for you to leave me. Cameron asked me the other day "WHY didn't daddy call you from work so you could go make him better and he could of come home then instead of going to heaven." It broke my heart, she is still so young and doesn't understand. I guess she does know that if Mommy could of saved you she would of. So many of us would of.
I know you know that I will forever love you, I promise I will do all that I can to help bring you some peace so your soul can rest. Shelly...

michelle gray surviving spouse

April 4, 2006

Stephan,

I just wanted to say I'm thinking about you, I'm always thinking about you. Two years is coming up and it has been tough. I often wish I could talk to you about work and family like we did the day before you left. I have had a tough time at work and I want to say that although I can't talk to you in person to get your advice, I know that if I just close my eyes I can see you and hear you telling me to get my act together, "suck it up", or as Michelle says "soldier" up. Well I am and things are getting better. Thank you.
You are deeply missed and you will always be my hero, my friend.

Colin
Merced PD

March 17, 2006

I am thinking about you and your family tonight. The tears don't stop and the physical pain doesn't go away because, "The joy of our hearts has ceased," Lamentations 5:15. One day we will understand it all, unfortunately it won't be in this world. Just want to remind your family that my family and myself share their pain. There are too many families just like us. There are so many people who love us too. I pray that God give your family, my family and all families of officers killed in the line of duty the strength to carry on. Take care.

Carol Espinoza, Mother of
Officer Isaac Espinoza, SFPD
EOW 4/10/04

March 14, 2006

I cannot believe you have been gone for nearly 2 years. I was reading the reflections & the wording, "when we think about you, for a heartbeat you're there" really choked me up. I did not know you but have been following your "story". I have seen Michelle & the kids in town a few times and feel so badly for them. I think about all of you all the time. God how I wish there was something I could do. You are truly missed by all.

--L

March 12, 2006

GOD BLESS YOU. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.

OFFICER
CHP/CLA FORMER MCSO

February 28, 2006

Stephan.....almost 2 years! and you are still thought about and talked about almost everyday. I miss you! I miss your laugh and your singing in the hallways at the PD. I think about Michelle all the time and wonder if she is doing okay. I can't imagine that she will get over the hurt anytime soon. I can't imagine that any of us will. I pray that Michelle is healing and that your children are doing well....as well as they could be. You are forever in my heart.

fellow PD employee
merced pd

February 23, 2006

Hi Stephan,

As I sit in my office I still can't stop thinking about you. I remember the day that you went home so vividly....I just want you to know that I tried my best to save you. As a Paramedic I have never felt such a devine presence on scene like I did that day. I can only figure that God needed you more than we do. I pray for Michelle every day and I have to admit that every time I see her in town I feel ashamed. Ashamed that I could not do more for you. Stephan you will forever be in my thoughts and my heart. We all miss you.

Aaron

Aaron Macias Paramedic
Merced County EMS Agency

February 16, 2006

Stephan,

I thought of you today, well I think about you everyday. My wife and I always want to remember you. We named our last son after you and your son. Little Stephan is coming up on two years old. Has it been that long sense you have been with our Lord Jesus? When I tell my kids where they got their names, I will be honored to tell my youngest about his name. I saved stories and photos of you and made up a cool album. I will pass that on to my son so his grandkids will know you. Stephan Gene Gray you’re a HERO! Thank you and I will see you soon in the Kingdom of God.

February 14, 2006

Dear Stephan, You were such a friendly, great guy. You always said hi whenever we saw you and always had a smile for us.

Former employee
Merced PD

February 14, 2006

Some days a couple hours will go by here at work when I'm busy and I don't think about you're not being here. Those days are rare. People talk about you everyday, sometimes a story but most times just in passing. A few words or thoughts here and there to keep you with us. Everytime I come to this site I look at this picture of you, I think it's the first one you had taken, the one where you're such a rookie you don't even have your badge on your shirt yet. I think I'd rather have a later one of you, the way I remember you. With your Superman chest and arms, sunglasses that made you look too cool and a grin a big as the world. I remember when you first got hired, you worked South with Catchings as your ATO. I thought you were so quiet you'd never last, little did I know yours would be the voice that would make me grin when I would hear you singing in the halls.
I miss that voice.

January 27, 2006

I miss you so much. I have been thinking about our wedding anniversary. Just think in two days it is our 10th. I remember we had the plans just started to go to Jamaica right before you were stolen from me.
God how I wish we were getting on a plane together to go celebrate. I miss our life together, I must of seen three black and whites patroling today. I was so envious of them. That they still go home to there wife and kids. I want that to be you in the car, I still cry for you to walk thru our door. I can't believe it has been almost two years, two years seems like two hours since you've been gone. You are always in my heart I love you my sweet Steph. Your babies are getting out of the tub so I better dry these eyes and soldier up and take care of them. I love you eternally. Shell

michelle gray
surviving spouse
eow 4-15-04

michelle gray surviving spouse

January 19, 2006

i can remember the day that you were laid to rest, merced stopped for a moment to reconize and pay respect to your sacrafice. i remember sitting in the car waiting on olive and g, watching car after car roll by thinking to myself that is the worst feeling i hope to never feel. i than called my uncle john to tell him about it, he being a sheriff in nevada could understand the sacrafice that officer grey made. Little did i know that no more than 2 weeks later may 11th 2004 myuncle died in the line of duty. my heart literally broke, never really having a father around my uncle was that to me. I know now that the pain that your family has endured, is my pain along with the countless men and women who loose their lives everyday serving their community. This past May i had the honor of meeting you michelle, during police week. It
was a humble feeling to know that we
were not the only family that was hurting, eventhough it feels like it at times. i would like you to know that watching you during police week i saw that you are strong pilar of dignity for your children, and the communty that your husband loved. i know that your heart never really heals and i there are moments that you just feel like giving up, i know i feel that at times. But life keeps moving on even when we dont want to...keep your eyes to the sky because you will always find them beeming with pride and love for you....

the wiberg family

December 29, 2005

I want to say that I am so sorry for what happened to you. I did not know you but my brother Colin did. I have seen the impact of what you sacrificed effect my brother soo much. I realize even more than I thought I did, the value of life. Even more so the value of family life. I am sure you and my brother have spoken about me and how we both wish we could be closer.We should be close being that we share a common profession. I make a promise to you that I will do every thing in my effort to close the gap that my brother and I have.I hope we will once have the golden relationship that some can only imagine. I wish I had the oportunity to meet you. God bless you and your family.

Mitch Smith Traffic Officer
Hanford Police

December 11, 2005

YOURE IN OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS

OFFICER
CHP

November 27, 2005

i just wanted to let you and your wife know that it is okay to cry...and i hope your kids can find something positive to channel their frustrations towards...i am a coach at merced high school, and if your daughters attend there i would love to have them on my team and will make sure to keep an eye on them and make sure they are doing the positive things...my brother's are officers in st. louis and los angeles and i can only imagine the lost i would feel if they were gone

Merced Resident

October 28, 2005

Steph,
Another sleepless night. It is always so difficult for me to click onto this web page, my hands shake in the anticipation of seeing your picture on an officer down site. its still some sort of shock for me We struggle in not having you here with us and I know I promised you I would stop crying out for you to come home and I broke that promise tonight. I know you hear it all, I always try to be so strong for you and the kids because I know thats what you want for us but tonight its not going to happen babe!!!! I miss you so much it is so overwhelming lonely in this house without your laugh and smile and hearing you wrestle with the kids. They miss you so much, Tay tay realized your necklace was not on his neck tonight for the first time since you were stolen from us. He cried for hours until he fell asleep. I tried to tell him it would be okay, but there are some things I just can't fix. Like when he would ask me to call you because he heard a noise outside and you would drive by a shine a light in his window and he would know Daddy was ON IT and he was okay. We miss you Steph and my heart continues to break. I promise you I will try to be strong, two more officers retired tonight from mpd, I am so jealous sometimes that you will never realize your dream of retiring and "swinging those clubs in Jamaca" like we had planned. I can't it has been a year and a half since you were killed, it as if time stands still, I guess because you are still so much alive in my heart that I can't fathom you being gone that long. I miss you and love you with all that I have. Shelly

October 18, 2005

God Speed..

Zion il PD

October 15, 2005

Heroes Live Forever.
1989 Graduate of Merced High School.

Allen Offholter
ST LOUIS METRO PD

October 7, 2005

Michelle and family. You do not know me, but I knew Stephan professionally. My son and I placed flowers in front of your house a few days after the funeral. Your daughter watched us. I just didn't know what to say to her, to any of you. I'm sorry this happened and I hope the best for you and the kids. When I heard a MPD officer was killed on the news that night I sat straight up in bed, horrified. I was on maternity leave from Riggs. My husband contacted his office and when we found out it was Stephan, I cried. I had been on many scenes with him and we all used to crack jokes outside the hospital when he was there. He was always smiling...I will never forget that huge smile. It was one of those smiles that when you saw it, no matter how crappy the shift was going, you had to smile back. Your family is in my thoughts all the time. I'm so sorry this happened to you and to the other area officers.

Marsha
EMT & Wife of CHP officer

September 26, 2005

Happy Birthday

August 21, 2005

STEPHAN

EVEN THOUGH WE ONLY WORKED TOGETHER ON A COUPLE OF OCCASIONS, I COULD TELL WHAT A GREAT COP AND A GREAT PERSON YOU WERE. WHEN I WAS STANDING IN MY DISPATCH WHEN THE CALL CAME OUT, I HAVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS IN MY LIFE. MY CAR COULDN'T GO FAST ENOUGH TO GET THERE TO HELP. I REGRET WE DIDNT HAVE A CHANCE TO BECOME FRIENDS AND WORK TOGETHER MORE. TO THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU, YOU HAD BEEN A HERO LONG BEFORE YOUR DEATH. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN AND OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS WILL ALSO BE WITH THEM. THE WORLD BECAME A LITTLE WORSE OF A PLACE WITH YOUR DEATH. REST IN PEACE BROTHER KNOWING WE CONTINUE THE FIGHT.

DET. JAMES WEAVER
MERCED COUNTY SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT

August 11, 2005

Stephan and I went to Hanford High together and played on several teams. I was pleased when I learned that we were on the same team again in Law Enforcement. I am STUNNED that he was taken from us. I pray for his family and I thank the Officers who worked so hard to ensure that the responsible persons were captured. God bless.

Ofc. J. Smith
Lindsborg PD Kansas

August 2, 2005

stephan,

i know i don't have to tell you this, but your wife is amazing...yesterday i reached the one year anniversary of my husband's passing...michelle called me twice and e-mailed me once...what a wonderful girl...she knew how i would be feeling already...it was a quiet, lonely day...it was hard not to focus on the fact that was the day chris was taken from mine and our children's lives...but, a little smile came across my face when i heard michelle's messages...just when i was down, she took my hand and pulled me up...

i had the honor of meeting your buddy colin at police week while he was there with michelle...instantly we clicked, and he helped me too...it was really nice...if you were anything like him (which i know you were) you too were an amazing person...

i hope that you and chris have become friends just as michelle and i...we think you guys are laughing at us all the time...

may you continue your watch over your family...i know they miss you ungodly as much as we miss chris...

rest in peace...

Susan C. Shea
Surviving Spouse DSP Cpl. Shea 07/18/04

July 19, 2005