Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Mrs. Espinoza and Isabella,

I always knew that this job was dangerous. But it wasn't until I fell in love with a police officer that I experienced the fear of losing someone so tragically. Every night and every morning I pray for this man. But it wasn't until your husband was murdered last year that the reality of it actually happening was so painful. I watched him be a depressed and sad man. I watched him dedicate his everyday job to Isaac. I watched him play the softball tournament so passionately, that I realized... everyone had lost a loved one. Reality was too real to bear.
A friend of Isaac’s (whom I work with) invited to this website. I remember I found the reflection page, and as I began to read your thoughts, my heart and soul cried with you. I have cried with you every time you open your heart.
I carry you in my prayers. I pray that the Lord gives you the strength to continue in this journey. Remember, Isaac’s done with his journey. Now it’s your job to continue it until you meet again. You are never alone. The spiritual, blood, and blue family is with you.
May the Lord bless you and your beautiful daughter, Isabella.

I carry you and all the officers in my prayers.
For they are the ones chosen to watch the streets, and protect the peace.
With Love and respect

San Francisco

May 3, 2005

I wish I could hug you, and tell you how proud you made our family. I wish I could have said good-bye. I know God has called you home, but there is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I you were still here with us.

Adele

May 3, 2005

I was thinking about you this last weekend. I was telling a friend about the 1st time I met you. We were kids, it was so nice to reunite before you passed away. It makes me sad that you had to die. You were so fun, and full of energy. It just doesn't make sense! You still owe me a night out! :)

May 2, 2005

the other day i wore your shirt with your picture on it. I walked into McDonald's and and old man came up to me and said "Where did you get that shirt?" and i said "at the funeral lucheon" and he said "If i had one id wear one very proudly. He was a good man." after he said that i told him that at serramonte they sell them and where and how much. he told me he surely was going to get one. At that moment i was happy that everyone knew about your braveness and that you were a good man

May 2, 2005

Isaac there is not one day of our lives that you are not thought of. you will always hold a piece of our hearts. You are missed so very much. Sonia

May 1, 2005

Ize, wish I could hear your voice and words of encouragement. I miss you bro. Ask God to help us cope with you not being here with us.

Will see you later ,
your brother ,
Edgar

April 29, 2005

Palomar Police Academy Class 12,

Thank-you for your endless support and thoughts for our family. We wish you with all sincerity and blessings for safe watches when you graduate and step foot on the streets. "Every man's death diminishes me..." this quote will stick with you forever, because, "Every Officer's death diminishes ME..." Your instructors are doing right by teaching you by example and experiences, it only makes you sharper. God bless, and WATCH THE HANDS!

sfpd

April 28, 2005

To the family of Officer Isaac A. Espinoza, may God continue to bless and keep you strong. I will keep your family in my prayers. We will continue to keep the watch, so rest my brother.

Gabriel
DHS/ICE Federal Air Marshal Service

April 27, 2005

such a peaceful day to share with you. It was warm and comforting. everything seemed so still. I could feel your presence. Renata...thinking of you...Isaac you are so missed.....

April 26, 2005

Mrs. Espinoza,

You are an inspiration to so many. I have been reading your reflections for a year and I have cried with you many times. Your husband was very fortunate to have such a wonderful wife and daughter. I know his memory will live on in your lives as well as all the lives he, as well as yourself, have touched. I pray for you all the time, that you and Bella will be able to live your lives the way your husband would have wanted you to. I wish you the best and for happiness to come back into your lives, what your husband would have wanted. We will always remember Isaac and the sacrafice he made to protect us. Take care of yourself!!

April 26, 2005

Isaac

I did not know you, but I am inspired by you. Every traffic stop, every building search, every time an officer is alone in the dark, unsure of what lays ahead, I know you are there wathcing over him.

You will not be forgotten.

Patrol Officer
Pacifica, Ca Police Department

April 26, 2005

Iz, You would be so happy to know that your family is closer than ever and we are so proud when we speak of you so often and you are truely, BIGTYMEYES in every sense of the word my dear cousin. We miss you and think of you all the time, and know exactly what you'd want us to do for you. Don't worry, together we will. We sure miss you at our family get-togethers but know you are always in our hearts and yes,we miss your presence physically, but know you are there always with us in spirit, you popo, uncle tony and everyone else that has gone before us, all watching over us, keeping us safe.
Love Always,

Big Cousin

April 25, 2005

To the Epinoza family,
First let me say that I am very sorry about your loss. God bless your family. Officer Isaac A. Espinoza is a great inspiration to our class. I never had the privlege to meet Officer Espinoza, though his story is what makes me want to be a peace officer. Our class does one extra push up every time we push, in honor of Officer Epinoza as a reminder of what we are pushing for, to never give up. Again God bless your family.

Palomar Police Academy Class 12

April 25, 2005

ZAK-

Your 1 year came fast. I don't want to say, "Anniversary", because an anniversary is something to be celebrated and not remembered. That's all I have right now, memories and anger. We stood in formation for your garden ceremony, and I looked around at your family and friends that attended. It was windy and the mic kept going out, but everyone charged through it like champs.
Everything got quiet, and I couldn't hear anything. Everything moved in slow motion, the clouds, the wind, and the tears. You have an absolutely beautiful and fun family- everyone! One of your cousins snatched me up for a picture, and I looked around as we (officers) were "one" with your family, both accepting and comfortable. Thank-you Espinoza family (when I say "family", friends are included!).
Your "Isaac Would Go" poster is on the wall in my garage. In a place that I have to look at every night before I leave for work, to remind me to be safe, and to keep our brothers and sisters safe. When I have to leave, but someone is talking to me, I think of you- you would make more time! I stopped to talk to Erick at HOJ, and gave him a hug- he always made time for people as well! One week later, he passed away. I would've never took the time to stop if it weren't for you. People are generally thoughtless, because we have too much to do in too little time, its not done in spite.
I asked you to please be with our troops overseas, and you were. Our officers and Army soldiers, George Farraez and George Luedtke, came back home! Thank-you.
Carol, you pulled me aside in the rotunda at Bayview. You knew me, you knew my name, that alone brought tears to my eyes. Something about your eyes reminded me of Zak, and I couldn't look at you, I wasn't ready. I'm sorry. Your eyes are sincere, honest, and pierced right through me like I've never felt, like Zak WAS there. You are strong, I know. God bless.

sfpd-bayview mids

April 24, 2005

The Art

This is all so beautiful
But how much of this will really be
Enough to keep me on my feet
So this is how it feels, when its all for real
But how much can be invisible
Enough for me to just believe
Cuz I'm chasing the wind and ending up right where I began
I know that there's an art to starting over again
And knowing God will never waste the pain
You can only try so hard to right a wrong
This song will only last so long, but life takes time so let it live along
I may never know why I should just let go, but do I really want a God that I can understand
Still I close my eyes try to reason why
But since when does my desire dominate the plan?
But life is just the art of living on
When life is in slow motion and when the silence is deafening
Hold on tight, you're gonna cry
But there's always a reason why
It comes down to the Art of Living

April 19, 2005

Sweetheart it has been a year since you have been gone but it still seems like just yesterday. It has been one of the hardest years of my life. I never imagined that I would have to ever live thru this horrible tragedy. This year has taught me more than I ever expected. Though this past year without you has been hell I have become a new person. A stronger person. The mistakes and experinces that I have gone thru this past year have all led to where I am at right now. I finally have been able to realize that things are going to happen the way they where destined to happen. I don't understand why, but I know that in the end I will get my answer. I have missed you so much and thought about you each day. For your one year anniversary they had the most beautiful ceremony and dedication of your garden. It was more amazing than I thought. Even though for weeks I had been dreading that day and making myself sick just thinking about it. When that day finally came, I woke up with a courage that I had not experinced before. Regina and I went to the site where you had been shot a year ago. It was a sunny day and when we got there it looked so different than the last time we where there. We brought you flowers and told funny stories about you and then we cried just to know that, that is where you laid. When I went to see you later that day, I already knew what I was gonna say. I thought about it for a while. Everything that I told you and the decision that I had made felt right. I remember when I finished there was a calm warm breeze and I felt peace in my heart when I left. I know it was your spirit there with me. Even though you are gone you will never be forgotten. You will always be in our hearts, you will always be loved. I have become this stronger, wiser person who does not take anything for granted. I know now what you would want me to do and that is what I am going to do. I am going to live for bella. I want to live. You left me the best part of you and I know you would want me to be happy for her. Even though it is so hard to see her everyday and see you in her eyes, I have decided to live for her. I will survive for her and no one else.
Please keep giving me strength to live this new chapter in my life without you. Even though it is hard I know that I can do it for me and her. I want to do it for me and her. I realize now that this is what you would want for our lives. Know that I will always love you Isaac, that Bella will always know about you, she will never forget you. We love and miss you.

April 18, 2005

Dear brother, I will never forget you. There is something every day that reminds me of you. You will always be in my heart and in my mind. I know that we will see you again on that glorious day when we are before our Lord and maker.

Father God allow Renata and Bella to feel your warmth and comfort in this time of sorrow. You are faithfull to those that seek you.Ize I know I will see you again.

Love, your brother
Edgar

April 17, 2005

God Bless You Officer Espinoza
Never Forgotten!
You have left a legacy that is immeasurable! I thank you for your life and your ultimate sacrifice for your fellow human beings. By the reflections written, your life shows that it was not measured by worldly things but the love you had for your family, friends and the people you did not know. After a year since you’ve left this life you continue to touch lives. That’s the success that each one of us should strive for. Some struggle to look for life’s meaning. You have given one of many definitions and I Thank You! You’ve given me strength and inspiration to continue to climb the “walls” that I’ve hit in training.

To Mrs. Espinoza,
You too are inspiring! You opened up to the world to show your Strength through this life-altering event. I thank you for allowing us to read your thoughts. More importantly I thank you for giving us permission to honor your husband by dedicating our class (Class 12) in his name.
You are an inspiration to the spouses that support this line of work. Your sacrifice has gone un-noticed and I can’t begin to know what you’ve gone through. I Honor you! Thank You for your selflessness.

Cadet Raymond M. Valeros
Palomar College Police Academy

April 15, 2005

Although it has been a year since you made the ultimate sacrifice, you are not forgotten. On 4-10-2005, I told your story at roll call, and the shift was dedicated to your memory. During that shift, one of my officers made a traffic stop, and subsequently, we arrested a man in the car who was armed with a hand gun. Later, I heard the arresting officer tell another about my roll call, and your story. The officer went on patrol that night focused, and thankfully, he was able to do his job without anyone getting hurt. Thank you, Officer Espinoza, because it was you that kept us safe!! Rest in peace, Brother.

April 15, 2005

Dear Isaac,
I come to this page everyday. I come here to remind myself everyday of why I am doing what I am doing. Everyday I choose to get up and do the RIGHT thing with the memory of you inspiring me. I pray that one day I can be only a fraction of the man you were, that I can have a loving family that you have, that I can be as great an officer as you. I cannot tell you what an honor it is to have a guide-on that bears your name. I did not know you, but your legacy fascinates me. This past Sunday was your one year anniversary. I thought about you all day and I thought about your family. Class 12 is dedicated to you in heart and in spirit. We will not forget you.
Mrs. Espinoza,
Your strength and perserverance has also been so very inspiring to me. I thank you for allowing class 12 to be dedicated to your husband. We have a picture of him in each of our notebooks and one of him up the front of the classroom. I hope that I for one as well as the class can one day be half as good as your husband. We have you in our prayers.

Cadet James J. Cataline
Palomar College Police Academy

April 13, 2005

Dearest Isaac, saw a small clip of the video about on you t.v. on sunday night, wow, that was really hard to sollow. To see you actually moving and talking was hard. I guess I can say we kind of been in denial, oh he is away on a trip, he will be coming home to his family soon, reality hit that you are not coming back.But we will see you again one day. God bless you. We miss you so very much. sonia

April 13, 2005

Renata, Bella, Carol, Isaac,and Regina I am sorry that I haven't been to this page until tonight. I can only say that it has been to hard for me to participate in some of these things. If I were to say anymore about my feelings it would be selfish. It is pointless to try to describe how sad I am for you all.
As police officers we are all used to solving everyones problems one way or another. I have searched my heart for a solution and I can not find one. There are no words I can say, there is no law I can cite, or look I can give that will change the way you feel. I wish in my heart, I could take all of your pain away from your hearts. I am sorry, truly sorry I can not. Every time I look into your eyes I feel like the only thing I can do is remind you of what you have lost and I try to say as little as possible. For that I am sorry as well. I would gladly trade places with your Son, Brother, Father, Husband, Nephew, Cousin, and Friend. We all know I can't. I have prayed for all of you every night since he has passed. All I can do is hope that if enough of us pray for you it will help bring you peace. Even though we didn't hang out that much I really did love Zak. As did everyone. I wish I could have been there to protect BP and Him that night.
I liked Zac from the moment we met. He was funny, competitive, a great athlete, and I soon learned a great cop. I am honored to have been able to work with him and beside him. You can always be proud of him. The sad thing is I have only gotten to know all of you after. You are all exceptionally good people and deserve to be happy. I am truly sorry for you all and I will try to be around for you more. I know that these words will not solve your problems but I have to try- Try to remember the good times you had with him. I knew Isaac as you did. I know he would not have wanted you to be sad. He was always happy and he always made everyone around him happy one way or another. He would have wanted you to celebrate his life and not dwell on the unfairness of his death. As I loved Zac I love you all and I will continue to pray for your peace. God Bless You, Bella, Renata, Carol, Regina, and Isaac.

Zac, I love you and I miss you, I will always have you in my heart.

S.F.P.D.

April 13, 2005

Please come back Isaac. Pleaseeee, Today i was crying the whole day at school, my mom thought it was because of my friends, but it wasnt. Today it really hit me that you really arent ever coming back. Im never going to see her smile like she used to. Its not the same anymore. Today it really hit me. I dont know what to do. Im so depressed. Yesterday at night they were showing a video clip on you and when i heard your voice i couldnt help but just cry outloud and just ask why and just couldnt take it anymore. 1 year i havent heard your voice and i heard it after all that time and my heart just dropped. I miss you so much. My god i have so much anger and hatred in my heart. I know you wouldnt want me to have it but i do. I have hatred and no love for anyone anymore. Life is to short Isaac and i need to live life like theres no tomorrow by following my heart and doing whats right and making the right decisions, just like how me and you always talked about. You did what you loved doing everyday of your life, and you were realy good at it. I hope one day i can have ths same courage as you did I miss you Isaac. I know that youll never forgot about me and my family and especially Renata and Bella and your family and hers as well. Please watch over all of them I miss you.............

Monica

April 11, 2005

Hey bro.

I went to see you yesterday. I know you were probably laughing about all the things I was talking about that we or should I say you used to do in class. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I miss dawg.

Renata, sorry that I did not say much to you yesterday as I was leaving. I felt that this was your time to be with Isaac without any interruptions. Thank you so much for allowing me to complete my visit with him. I hope to see soon.

God bless you and Isabella.

Patrick

April 11, 2005

Isaac... it's been one year today, but yet it still feels like yesterday, it's like we all had to relive that terrible day all over again, we miss and love you so much Isaac words can't even begin to express the way we all feel, may you rest peacefully above...

Love Jozzie

April 11, 2005