Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

hey its me again
i was just thinking of you and wanting to let you know just how much i am missing you today. thinking of you often and wishing i could look into your eyes just one more time and see that blue sparkle and hear your laughter. missing you my love
dena

January 28, 2007

hey,
today is a new day right! well andrew had surgery on his thumb he hurt it going on a fire call you see he has joined the fire department here. he was fine and we are hoping now the thumb heals right. i couldn't help but think of all the falls he had and you would rush over to meet us at the hospital and then yesterday there we sat megan and me and andrew's girlfriend no you that was hard. everyone has gone away now and the lonely has really set in more cause with everyone around it was lonely but i was distracted but not now everyone has moved on as i guess it should be especially with megan and andrew and their dating times i just wish you were here as we had planned so that i would not have to spend so much time alone missing you but i guess that is my place in life now i just am not sure just what that is because we had so many plans together and now to think of those plans now is sad to say the least. i know megan and andrew miss you too and they still have hard days too face without you. i guess iam just having a bad day. i hope everything is good with you that is what i always want for you that you are happy and cannot know the sadness here for you.
love you always
dena

January 20, 2007

hey,
just wanted to tell you about megan's birthday. we gave her a party and yet there was someone missing YOU! She is now 21 can you believe how fast the time has passed since you were here for one of her birthday parties it seems like forever. really wish you could have been here for this party too. remember the first party we gave her with the cabage patch kid cake and she had cake all over her face my how time has passed and all the things you are going to miss and us miss you beign here to share the special times with us you are missed more than i can say.
with all my love
dena

January 13, 2007

hey, just wanted to remind you that megan's birthday is coming up sure wish you could be here and i know she does too. we are not having very good days now missing you everyday. megan will be the big 21 and she is trying to be happy but it is clouded by missing you.
all my love to you
dena

January 11, 2007

hey,
guess what megan and nick took me snowboarding what a day!! it was filled with excitement,scary,and missing you i couldn't help but think of all the times you wanted to take us sking or snow tubing you would have loved that too. well its a nother year now and hope its good for you its already "07" its hard to believe that its almost four years since our lives have changed forever. things are changing so fast it is hard to keep up with it all. andrew and megan had a good christmas i think except for missing you we all do i hope more than you know. just wanted to let you know that we miss you and think of you daily.
lol always
dena

January 1, 2007

hey daddy!! I havn't talked to ya in a while but guess what i got momma to go snowboarding!! LOL It was great wish you could have seen her!! I thought about how you would have loved to go snowboarding and how you talked about it sometimes to.

A little boy died on Tuesday he had some problems and stuff but i know that he is with you and God now. His funral is today he was only nine yrs. old. And one of nick's buddies dad died last night he was 43. Daddy all of the death and dying is so depressing but i guess that is what growing up is all about I don't like it. Daddy would you please just take care of that little bot and make sure he isn't scared. ANd would you please ask God to watch over that family.

We are getting ready to go to grandmas house today to eat miss you alot. I can't believe it has been almost four years since that day. It doesn't feel like it. Me and andrew had a good Christmas this year but i know that we all were thinking about you. Daddy i love you.
Love ya megan

megan

December 30, 2006

hey,
well its here again sure wish you could see megan and andrew's faces in the morning when they open their christmas presents they are still from both of us i can't imagine leaving you out of that. i reminded megan and andrew about the lumps of coal and the switches that you wanted to leave for them and keep their presents hidden till after they got up they laughed and they miss you too.
wishing you could share just one more christmas with us.
lol
dena

December 24, 2006

hey
missing you.We went to a dinner today and there was an empty place that will always be there. it was hard to focus on the festivities around me everytime i looked around there were the happy couples and then the times we are missing came rushing back so fast the tears were so hard to contain but some how i was able to hide them and let them spill out as i sit alone in our room holding onto your empty side of our bed. i miss you so very much. remember the time you wanted to play tricks on megan and andrew and leave them lumps of coal and switches for christmas and i wouldn't let you that is so funny we laughed so much about that. christmas is almost here as you know and i know you would be so full of little tricks to play on our children and our home would be so full of laughter i miss that too. hope your christmas is just as great as the ones we shared here.
lol
Dena

December 23, 2006

Hey as you know it is getting close to the holiday one of your many favorites. i find it hard to enjoy the holidays as you know the special times we shared visiting old friends, new friends, going to all those wonderful places you seemed to just find, and most special was the family time we shared. i miss just us doing everything together as a family should. you were always thinking of our family and ways to make sure they enjoyed the holidays just as much as you. i am missing you even more these days than ever wishing we could spend just one more day together and knowing that will never be again is the hardest thing i have ever had to endure. just one more laugh, smile, words of encouragement letting me know everything will be alright, just one more time to say i love you and know that you ment it with all your heart as do i. just one more time to hold each other close, just one more time to see you smile, just one more DAY one more holiday just one more together just us my world has turned upside down and ther is no fixing it there is no making it any better there is no more us there is no more time to say i love you and hear it from you there is no more laughter there is no more time to spend together as you always said lifes just too short the holidays will never be the same and i don't know how to make it any better or even tolirable to get through just one day at a time till time passes i guess i am just missing you so so much
have a great holiday i hope for you things are great and you can not see or know in any way the lonely missing feelings of those of us that miss you greatly
love you always
Dena

December 17, 2006

Hey daddy we are all getting ready for Christmas once again, i try to enjoy the holidays but i think that this is the time of year i miss you the most you use to love the holidays (i think you liked all the food LOL) But i remember you use to let everybody open one present early we still do that but it is not the same nothing is the same anymore i wish a hundred times a day to go back and pick and cut up with you. but i know i have to wait and until that day when i see your face again i will live my life the you would have wanted me too.
Luv ya daddy

megan

December 7, 2006

Hey,
I just wanted to talk to you today so very badly, yet there was only me to talk to and the walls to listen.
And just to see if you remember two days ago was the anniversary of our house burnning I know you do cause you had a great memmory of everything. Andrew has had a few bad days remembering that too. He is missing you a lot these days. He got his dirt bike out and rode it that we got him for the first Christmas that we spent in our new house.Megan is doing a great job of keeping her feelings to her self she is quiet and I know she is thing of you too She just don't say it to me.
just wanted to tell you about Litchard's retirement lunchon that was today at the AVS. We went and there was a memorial table with lumanaries. Your picture was on the slide show too. I missed you being there too. I know you would have had a lot to say about some memory of you and Litchard to share. I left the room everytime I felt as though the tears would spill over I think I did pretty good to. There was a moment of silence to after the names were read and prayer by D.Ayers. The singing deputy's made up a song for Litchard it was very funny you would have laughed your head off. I know Maynard will do a good job as sheriff too. It seemed as though someone was missing and that someone was you.
lol always
dena

December 3, 2006

hey
thinking of you today. missing you today and EVERYDAY!
lol
dena

November 26, 2006

Hey daddy just wanted to stop in and say hey been missing ya alot i guess because it is the holidays i used to love the holidays but now i dread them because you are not here. i try to be happy like i know you would want me to be but it is hard to do. I am missing ya like crazy Thanksgiving is tomrrow and i remember how you use to love the holidays (i tihnk it was because of all the good food LOL) But anyway i know that you are having a very good holiday where you are but i still miss ya! Love you daddy
Love megan

megan

November 22, 2006

hey,
hope all is fine with you. just thinking about you today wondering just what we would be doing today together. just remembering us going in search of snow trips with the first snow falls in the mountains and can't help but remember all the fun we had then. i know just how much you enjoyed those trips and i miss spending time with you. the lonely just seems to never go away no matter what. i wish you could have been here for andrew's birthday on saturday. he really missed you i could tell but everyone came through for you and gave him a wonderful 17th birthday party. we went to skippers for his party. andrew still has the 4 wheeler fever and megan and i gave him a new helment and no he don't ride it on the road just for you. i have tried to go back to church but i just cry megan asked me why and i just don't have enough words to explain. you remember that is where i was when you never came home again. i just can't help but think of that when i go there its not church it self but all the remembering i have when i am there. if only you had been there that day the tears would not flow like rivers and my heart would not be broken into pieces. i do realize that nothing can be changed and we can't go back to then and all the what if ing won't change anything but now what???? i am alone and i miss you sooooo very much no words can even come close to explain.
lol always
dena

November 21, 2006

i first met you toney while i was working at the building supply..after getting to know you for a few minutes, i gave you my employee discount and you were so grateful..just letting you know that i am grateful for the time we spent loading your blazer up and just talking on the lumber yard, about every week..you are sorely missed in the community..

JD
friend

November 21, 2006

hey
just thinking of you
lol always
dena

November 12, 2006

hey
having a day of lonely again miss you a lot thinking of you today and everyday. love you lots. just wanted to let you know Andrew had a pretty good report card today. missing the times we shared.
lol always
dena

November 7, 2006

hey daddy! Just missing you alot lately. Sometimes the pain is so hard to bare I feel as if my heart will explode with saddness. But I must live my life I know, but who knew that the pain would be so intense people told me that the pain of loosing you would get better but it hasn't i have only learned how to hide it. It still feels like yesterday when we received that awful call. I think of you everyday.

I love you Daddy!
Love Megan

megan

November 6, 2006

Hey daddy! Everyone is doing alright i got a new puppy and his name Is Jake i love him alot. Savannah likes him to. I miss you daddy. School is going alright sometimes it is hard to concentrate but it will be alright. Nick has been such a great guy he has stood by me through everything i love him so much. And JT is getting married can you believe it? Well just wanted to feel ya in on everything i am sure you can see us but it helps me to write to ya.

PS Momma and Andrew are fine they miss you like crazy! I love you.
Love Megan

megan

October 31, 2006

hey
Was just thinking of you today.
lol always forever
dena

October 30, 2006

Hey to my bes friend, my husband,my life, my everything
I just want to send all my love to you today and everyday.
Just thinking of you today like everyday. To let you know Iam still keeping my journal for you. Megan and Andrew sure do miss you too. Even though you have been away for 3years 6months and two days the pain of loosing you is still great and we miss you more than words can ever say. Hope you are having a great day and you can't see all the pain left here in your absense.
LOL always
dena

October 29, 2006

Hey
I just found this site and can't believe I never found it before. The missing you is still so unbelievable the lonelness so intense. I truly miss seeing you and talking to you it seems you always had something to say and now there is only silence. I know you are at peace, but that does not change the empty feelings here for me. I miss you so very much and there are no words to explain. Sometimes the tears just won't stop falling. If only you could wrap me in your safe arms and let me know everything will be alright. I know when our home burned in 1999 you gave me the strength to keep on and we began a new. You said as long as we have each other we can get through anything well now I need your strength even more. I love you even though you are not here in body.
your wife
dena

October 28, 2006

I was just thinking about you.

Miss ya.

Daron Akins
Friend

October 13, 2006

Hey daddy i haven't writen in a long time. Still miss you more than ever. I think about you all the time. I was remebering the the last time that we went to the mountains and we went to Ripley's aquarium. And i still have the picture of you in the squaba man's suit you were so goofy because you had your favorite sun glasses on. Oh and sometimes i listen to your old people music!!! I know its crazy but it kinda feels like you are there with me. Well i gotta go but i will keep in touch love ya always,
megan

PS Momma and Andrew are doing fine we miss you

megan

September 12, 2006

I know the pain in the hearts of your loved ones that think about you every day. Keep watch over them and wrap your wings around them to protect them from harm. Visit them in their dreams to let them know you are okay. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten as a Heroe Never Dies.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Gold Star Father

August 2, 2006