Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey baby...I can't beleive how grown the kids are...Alex turned 14...she really could use you around to help guide her...she has a best friend that looks out for her all the time, and the friends Dad tells her that if she ever needs anything, he would be there for her...it's so sweet...I just know that noone can ever fill your place in her heart...Skyler will be 15 next week...He's so tall!! I bet he would be able to take you now!! lol I wish I could see him :( Anyway, keep a watch over all your kids, they still need your guidance!! We love you as much as ever...always will....all my love....me

Chrissy, Wife

April 3, 2009

My daughters and my son can't wait to meet up with your boys during police week. I think of you often. Know that your boys are loved by so many around the country.
Jenn Surviving Spouse, Mark Filer

Jenn Filer-Orsborne
Friend of Skyler

April 1, 2009

Hey Chrissy ~

I'm glad to read that you had a good visit to Suffolk, and that you made it home safely. I've been thinking of you all week and wondering how you are doing - we haven't talked in so long, we have a lot to catch up on.

Can you believe we've made it through another year? There are some days where it all still doesn't seem real to me - I think about what happened and all the time that has passed and it just doesn't seem real. I'll sit here and think about it and it just doesn't seem possible that Jesse is really gone - I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about - but then it will hit me that it IS real and that he IS gone and then it just makes me so sad.

I decided this year that I wasn't going to replay that day over and over again in my mind (like I've done every other year). A good friend of mine kept me busy all day to help keep my brain occupied (not that it takes much!!) and the day passed quickly for me. I hope Drew's EOW day wasn't too difficult or painful for you - we both know the grief and sorrow are always there, like a shadow that never leaves us, but I hope you were able to find a reason to smile and laugh. Drew would want that for you.

Drew would want a lot of things for you, Chrissy. He would want you to go on with your life....he would want you to be happy and content, to live fully and completely. He would also want you to love again. I know sometimes it seems impossible (believe me, I know) but if Drew loved you like you write about in your reflections he wouldn't want you to be alone, he would want you to find someone else to love you the way that he did. You deserve to have that again......and I hope and pray for you, Alex and CJ that someday you find it again.

I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. We do need to talk, it's been way too long - I'll call you this week. Take care girl....keep your chin up.....keep smiling.....love you.

~ Carin

surviving spouse
Officer Jesse E. Sollman EOW 3/25/05

March 26, 2009

Drew, I miss you my friend. I will never forget Drew, I promise you that. You figure it would get easier and the tears would eventually stop......it wont. I remember the night it happened like it was yesterday. I was here in Texas visiting for the first time and my phone just kept ringing and ringing. I didn't answer a few of them and when J.P. called me, I knew something was not right. I would have NEVER thought it was you. My priority was to get back "HOME" to Virginia and be with our friends and your family. You were one of the best that I could have ever asked for to help train Drew.....you will always be my hero! You have taught me so much about being a Father and Provider to your family just by watching and listening to you. Guess we didn't realize that you were training me the whole time to grow up finally. I thank you everyday my friend.

I am sorry Chrissy that I was not there that night like I should have been! I still feel horrible about not being there. Thank you Alex for the text the other night, take care of your Mother for me!

Friends and family of the Suffolk Police Department, you remain in my prayers daily. Great friends and great memories, please stay safe!

Anonymous

March 24, 2009

Thanks for the gentle reminder that you are still watching over us. Fourth year in a row it rained on Mar 19th. Real funny!!

Anonymous

March 23, 2009

hey baby....well I just got home from Suffolk...I wish I could be there everyday...I know you were watching me taking stupid pictures with the patrol car! I know I'm a dork!! The new HQ looks beautiful!! Next year when I go back, it should be up and running! So I was sitting on the plane coming home and the seat next to me was empty...I wished so much that you were sitting beside me...I just sat there imagining you sitting beside me...holding my hand...I could see your smile...the way your eyes looked deep into mine...you always could see right into my soul...there is only one you and I'm so glad you are mine...I love you baby....miss you more and more...all my love always...me

Anonymous

March 22, 2009

Drew,
Wow, 4 years ago. I remember that night so well when my husband woke me up to tell me and crying in bed thinking about you and your family. I know you're up there watching Chrissy and your little ones, making sure they all take the right path to you. You guys are still in my prayers.

Love to all of you,
Meghan

Anonymous

March 19, 2009

Thinking of you and all over your loved ones and close friends today. The love that all of them have for you will never die as they carry your loving memory in their hearts. You have not been forgotten nor will that ever be the case. Continue to watch over all of your loved ones and protect them from harm.

Bob Gordon
Father of Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

March 19, 2009

The wicked flee where no man pursueth, but the righteous are bold as a lion
Proverbs 28:1

God bless you and all who mourn you. May God give them the strength to carry on. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Friend of Off. Kris Fairbanks RIP 9-20-08

K.L.

March 19, 2009

Hey my love....had a hard time sleeping last night...kept thinking "4 yrs ago we were..." right up until the knock at the door...it seems to be a better day this year, maybe because i'm preoccupied with this stomach thing...either way, it's better to not feel the weight so heavy on my heart...although, i know you are with me...went to take a shower, turned on the radio and a song starts to play...which song? the one you dedicated to me...the very first one...you were in the truck with the boys on your way back to Jacksonville after spending the weekend with the kids and me...you called and played it through the phone to me so I would know it...your favorite band...that song still makes me cry...I know I will never have another love like you...and it's ok..cause what you gave to me will last me for the rest of my life...I'll cherish every moment we had together, even though they were way to few...some people live their whole life looking for what we had...I'm so grateful for your presence in our lives...Alex and CJ are better people for having been loved by you, as am I...I'll love you forver...until we are together again...all my love, always....me

Anonymous

March 19, 2009

Hey Beardy. Seems hard to believe that it has been four years already. I have been playing catch up with many of our friends from High School thanks to the Internet. There have been some great pictures from our band days. There was even one during a parade. I can't believe you were allowed to march in the lead position with the severely dented horn. Remember how we used to make it a ritual to beat the heck out of that thing with our mouthpieces before we marched? Those were definitely the days.
I miss you buddy. Don't forget to save me a place up there. I would like the "Official Beardy Tour" when we meet up again.

-MGM

Matthew G. Mahaley, CIV
Drew was my best friend

March 19, 2009

Drew...it has been 4 years without you today...I miss you and love you...Chrissy and Liz mean so much to me and they are hurting...please be with them today...I will never forget your smile...love you always

Leslie Irwin
Friend

March 19, 2009

My thoughts and prayers are with your loved ones and friends on this anniversary of your EOW. Continue to keep watch over them and those still out on patrol watching over the Thin Blue Line. You will never be forgotten.

James Sheppard
Father of Sgt. Jason L. Sheppard EOW 12/7/06

March 19, 2009

Your heroism and service is honored today, the 4th anniversary of your death. Your memory lives and you continue to inspire. Thank you for your service. My cherished son Larry Lasater was a fellow police officer who was murdered in the the line of duty on April 24, 2005 while serving as a Pittsburg, CA police officer.

Time never diminishes respect or love. Your memory will always be honored and revered. Rest In Peace.

To Chrissy: I know today may be especially tough so I wanted you to know you are in my heart's embrace today. Your love and devotion to Drew shines through your reflections left for your beloved.

Phyllis Loya

Phyllis Loya
mother of fallen officer Larry Lasater

March 19, 2009

Doing the countdown to the dreaded day....just doesn't get any easier! I miss you more than anyone could know....my life will never be the same...I will never be the same....you are always with me in my heart...forever and ever...Chris and Casey are having baby number 2 on Tuesday...another girl...Caitlyn looks just like Chris, it's unbelieveable!!! I hope I can see them next weekend, but I know they will have their hands full with the new one! I can't believe John's babies are turning 3 on Tuesday!! and Joey's little one will be one....so many babies...it would be the perfect time to be hanging with them and all the new little ones!! I can just see you rolling around on the floor with the kids climbing on you, and you laughing that great big laugh of yours!!! Kristin is so grown up now, she doesn't pick her nose like you tried to teach her too!!! She drives Leslie crazy, but I think that Les secretly likes it!!! lol I'll make sure I pick her up and spin her around a few times for you!!! We love all love you so much baby...wish I was there with you, even just for one minute :) love you always!!!
me

Chrissy, Wife

March 13, 2009

hey baby...there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you and miss you...but days like today...it's just so unbearable....the emptiness you left in my heart will never be filled...I can't help but think about what it would be like if you were here...I wish you could have seen this house...I know you would have loved it as much as I do...and the weather today...it was as close to heaven as I have ever felt...there was a strange quiet over me today....like somehow you were here...calming me...I wanted to stay out in the sun all day...just taking in the the beautiful blue sky...not a cloud in sight...and then as I made the turn towards home, I saw it...like a reminder of the dreary night ahead of me...dark grey clouds in the sky over our house...it made me so sad...I wanted to stay in that quiet place...but i'm here...alone..missing you as much as ever...how can it be almost 4 years!!!??? It can't be that long since I have seen you...omg....how can it be...I wanted to text you today...lol...we never even did that...lol...but I wanted to send you a message to tell you I love you...I almost wish your phone was still on so I could have sent it...but you wouldn't have gotten it that way anyway...you already know how much I love you and miss you....you already know...I will always love you drew....always ...me

Chrissy
Wife

February 14, 2009

HEY BUDDY ITS BEEN A WHILE. I THINK OF YOU OFTEN. IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS LAUGHING AND JOKING AROUND WITH YOU BUDDY. I MISS YOU MAN. I KNOW YOU ARE WATCHING OVER CHRISSY AND THE KIDS PLEASE KEEP THEM SAFE. I GOT ANOTHER BABY ON THE WAY I THINK I KNOW AT THIS POINT WHATS CAUSING IT. GOD BLESS YOU DREW. ALL OF US MISS YOU BEYOND WHAT WORDS CAN DESCRIBE.

OFFICER CHRIS SCHERER
SPD

January 31, 2009

Drew...just wanted to say I think about you and miss you very much...miss being at your house watching movies with you and Chrissy...with the speakers as loud as it could get...miss our many family dinners of spaghetti...I miss your Shrek days...and I miss your laugh and smile...I miss the way you and Chrissy joked each other and just had a good time together...we all love and miss you.

Leslie
Friend

January 26, 2009

hey baby...I miss you every day...it never gets easier to be without you...and knowing what we had is gone forever never gets easier to accept...I know that I carry you forver in my heart...I will never forget you...I will never stop loving you...always and forever, I love you ...you are still the best man I ever knew..xoxoxo

Chrissy, wife

January 18, 2009

Hey baby...wow has the time flown!! I thought about you so much this weekend, and it wasn't all sad. I enjoy the moments when I can reflect on times we spent together and not get all weepy...I remember every moment we had together and it still feels like only yesterday when you were here laughing with us...I miss you so very much....there will never be another you...Thank you so very much for loving me...and being such a wonderful man, father and friend....There are so many here who are looking up to you...to achieve what you achieved....to find that perfect life...I will always be grateful that in that moment, when you left me, you had all you had ever dreamed of...I'll love you forever...Wish you were here to celebrate Christmas with us again....love you always...me

Chrissy, Wife

December 29, 2008

Happy Belated Holidays Drew.......still the same here. Please watch over us all, I know you do and you do a good job at it. We all miss you! Chrissy (and kids) and Liz, I love you guys! Don't forget me.......

Anonymous

December 28, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving my love!! I thought of you yesterday when we were having our Thanksgiving luncheon at work...I know this was your favorite holiday!!! When I think of you on this day, I am reminded of all that I have to be thankful for. I am mostly thankful that you came into our lives. You did more in 5 years for me and the kids than some men do their whole lives. We are forever grateful to you for your love. I'm thankful that Skyler is coming for Christmas this year. It's long overdue!! I know everyone will be so excited to have him here! I will never again be able to have a Thanksgiving meal without thinking of you and missing you and wishing that you were here with us..so today when we say the blessing, I will be with you...in that moment, as I always do, I will be with you...I love you more than words can ever say...I miss you every moment!

all my love....always...me

wife

November 27, 2008

This one says it all....wish I had a chair somewhere where I could just sit and wait for this storm to pass....but life is for living...so we must brave the storm and push forward...some days we can forget the storm is there...but other days it blows strongly in our faces...today is one of those blustery days....I miss you my love...


Spirit of a Storm
Kenny Chesney

There’s a spirit of a storm in my soul
A restlessness that I can’t seem to tame
Thunder and lightning follow everywhere I go
There’s a spirit of a storm in my soul.

There’s a hurricane that’s raging through my blood
I can’t find a way to calm the sea
Maybe I’ll find someday the waters aren’t so rushed
Right now they’ve got the best of me
And oh, it’s been a long, long time
Since I had real peace of mind
So I’m just going to sit right here
In this old chair till this storm rolls by.

Oh, maybe it’s just the way I am
Maybe I won’t ever change
So I’m just going to sit right here
In this old chair and just soak up the rain.

There’s a spirit of a storm in my soul
Every time I think it’s gone away
Dark clouds gather, that old wind begins to blow
The sun’s going to shine someday I hope
There’s a spirit of a storm in my soul, in my soul.

Chrissy

November 20, 2008

Hi Drew, everything is still the same here in Texas......I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and thank you for everything. I now know why you were so dedicated to your kids, never realized it until I had mine. You are a hero and a roll model for us all.

I promise, you will never be forgotten Drew!

Anonymous

November 13, 2008

Hey baby...I realize more and more each day the true angel you are...the many blessings you left behind will not go unnoticed...the joy you brought to so many lives...the love you brought into my life...not just your love, but Skyler and Austin too...and the love you gave to Alex and CJ...the bonds that we built remain...and stronger than ever....they will be here forever...we have you to thank for that....no amount of time can ever erase the love I feel for you...you are my strength still to this day...all that I do, I do for you....to honor your memory....to carry on what we began....I only wish you were here to share this journey with me...but I know you are always with me...guiding me...helping to keep me strong....I see your hand holding the kids...making them stronger...wiser...kinder...thank you for loving them as only you could...you were the best father any child could hope to have, and they all know it...and they are so much better for having you, if only for a short while...we love and miss you so much...always...your famiy

Chrissy
wife

November 9, 2008