Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Hey, buddy. You got a section of 423 named in your honor today. You know that means you have to pick up the trash along there now, right? Seriously, man, it's a really great thing that yet another way to remember you and honor your sacrifice as well as your life itself was given to us.
Love ya, buddy.

MC
Dublin, OH

October 24, 2006

The sign is very nice Brandy. Your mom and dad are so proud of you! Still miss you very much.

October 24, 2006

Brandy,
Just thinking about you as always! How about those BUCKS!!!
I'm not so sure about Jarrett going to Toyota next year though,guess you'll just have to help him out!!
Miss you!!

October 22, 2006

Bran - 2 years ago today, we said our final goodbyes to you. I have never felt such a large hole in my heart in all my life. I was lost and didn't know where to begin to try to fix all the wrong that had happened. Little did I know at that time I wouldn't be able to fix anything. We all still hurt, and greive and miss you in a terribly undescribable way. As mom put it though, we tuck it inside our hearts because others may be tired of hearing it, or maybe because we know we have to trudge forward in life. Life is so much different than before that day.

I watched the boys last night for Sara because another officer was killed and I made fried potatoes and smoked sausage. Landon said what are you cooking Aunt Missy, I told him and he said My Daddy didn't like that. I just reminded him, that maybe you didn't but that Landon did like it because he is not Daddy he is different than Daddy sometimes. And surprisingly he said yep, ate the food and went about his business. However, I didn't know the kid liked applesauce so much, he ate 3 cups of applesauce. Tyler barely ate anything and was pretty much rotten all night, but he is so dang sweet and cute sometimes. Landon is pretty grown up now and listens really well most of the time, but even he was having a hard time last night. He kept tossing the football around and I told him a million times to stop, he finally got it taken away and I told him I was keeping it at my house for a couple days. He didn't say much, but I think he was pretty ticked off about that.

I saw the hawk on my way up Saturday. Thanks for reminding us that you are still around. Matt and I were at the cemetary that day and when I drove in I had noticed a lot of vultures flying around the area, but when I got back there to you, they were farther than I thought. As we stood there talking, they started flying over us though and I told Matt you probably took another form so you could come poop or puke on us. We both got a good chuckle out of that one, because that is so you.

Miss you, I will never forget this day two years ago.... the honor that was given to you, you deserved every bit of it.

See you on the other side,

Mis

missy

October 19, 2006

Brandy,
We always think of you. You are never far from our thoughts. I am so happy to say that Landon and Tyler will grow to know that their father was loved by so many people. They will know that no matter the tragic and horrendous end, that your life was filled with love, respect and admiration.
Two years is not enough time to heal from our loss, but is there ever enough time to do that? We'll all meet again, and then the celebration will begin.
Landon, Tyler, Rick, Shirley, Cory, Lindsey, and Sara, you all will forever be in our prayers.

October 16, 2006

Hey Brandy,
It's been 2 years since the day we all lost a good friend. This is my senior year so its my last year as a kid, but that is ok, because i want to go into law-enforcement after i graduate. I was not real sure where to work but I made up mind real quick. After your death i thought a lot about becoming a sheriff. When i finally get college and the acedemy out of the way i plan on becoming a Marion County Sheriff in your memory.

Kyle Wiley
Friend

October 15, 2006

Sara,

Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you today, but please know that I completely understand that while today is a hard day...so is every other day that you have to live without Brandy here with you. The anniversary is a reminder on the calander but it almost seems insignificant compared to the constant reminders that you get on a daily basis that he's not here.

I've only known you a short time, but feel close to you because of all the things we have in common. You have helped me so much and I greatly appreciate you being there. You are an incredibly strong woman that has dealt with so much already. You are doing the very best you can with what you've been given. Know that you are doing a fantastic job and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

After Jonathan was killed someone told me that I was going to have to redefine "normal" because my life would never again be what I had considered normal before. Friday will be a year since he's been gone and I'm still trying to figure out what normal is. I think it takes a long time to figure out our place in the world after such a significant loss. What people don't seem to understand is that when we lost our husbands we lost our way of life and we are doing the best we can to make life happy again. I think we owe that to our husbands, ourselves and our children. You know in your heart that's what Brandy would want.

Hang in there. I will remember you in prayer today...and everyday...because I know that just because the calendar says it's been a certain amount of time doesn't mean the loss is any less painful than the day before or after.

Kelly Dragus
Widow of Sgt. Jonathan Dragus EOW 10/20/05

October 14, 2006

Brandy,
Two years ago today the people of Marion Ohio had their world turned upside down.
You will never be forgotten.

October 14, 2006

Brandy, Well two very long years have passed. We still miss you everyday. It has been very hard some days and alot of tears have been shed. We don't get to see the boys much,but the last time we did they had grown so much and you would be so proud. Every race day we think of you and your PROUD JARRETT racing items. You will never be forgotten or far at all from our thoughts.
Keep watch over those you loved!

We love and miss you!!!

October 14, 2006

Rick, Shirley, Corey, Landon, and Tyler,

Thinking of all of you today. You are all in my prayers daily. I just wish I could take away your pain of this day.
Brandy, please keep watch of everyone. This is still a bitter day for all of us.

October 14, 2006

Brandy~
Just wanted to leave a reflection and to let you know that you are still in our thoughts and prayers...

Brandi Schneider
OSHP Wife

October 14, 2006

Brandy,
Two years it has been since anyone has heard your voice, seen your smile, or laughed with you. Laughing and smiles, those are things that you brought out in everyone.
Two years has gone by since that morning. Waking up to the phone call and the sobs on the other end. Something that I think, no one will ever forget. So much has changed in the last two years, so much affected. So hard to believe sometimes.
You are thought about all the time Brandy and so are is your family. I worry about them but I know you are watching out for them, especially your mom and dad.
You are a hero and friend and will always be in my eyes. For the past two years and forever, you will never be forgotten.

Friend

October 14, 2006

Hey, buddy. I just wanted to write and let you know that I don't know how long it takes to completely get over the loss of a great friend and model officer...but I can tell you that it must be more than two years.

You are still missed and thought of on a daily basis.

God bless you, and may He keep watch over all those from whom you were taken.

MC
Dublin, OH

October 14, 2006

Bran, Well it's been 2 years and nothing seems to be any easier. We think of you night and day. And I talk to you all the time. There is not a day that goes by that I don't talk to you. I hear songs that still make me think of you and cry like a baby. I just wanted to say how much you are very much missed and loved. I just wish you were here so you could give me the advice that you use to. And to stop and wake me up at night to make you something to eat when you were working nights or when I was up and you would stop to eat the best one was when Troy called off and you stopped and had the chaplin with you and then Troy to tell you guys he was sick and really was'nt he was just sitting there having a few drinks and playing cards.
love and miss you very much
Manda

October 13, 2006

My heart goes out to your loved ones on this 2nd anniversary of your end of watch. You have not been forgotten nor will your loved ones ever let that happen. You are a true hero and heroes never die. Protect your loved ones and keep watch over them as they journey through life. Also, keep watch over those officers still out keeping watch over the Thin Blue Line. Thankyou for your dedicated service to law enforcement.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

October 13, 2006

Bran,

Tonight will be two long years since I last spoke to you. The two year mark has been a little harder on me than I expected. I cried myself to sleep last night as I have many nights the last two years. I think of you daily and miss the joy and love you brought to all our lives. If I started a list of all the things I miss about you this reflection would never end.

Tomorrow on the two year mark of your death I will be walking in memory of you in Washington,DC to raise money for COPS. I could think of no better way to mark this date. I don't want to "celebrate" or go to some event to commemerate this date. I thought raising money in your honor for an organization that helps families across the nation and walking in the nation's capital was much more fitting to the spirit of the person that you were.

I have worked very hard the past two years to make life good again. I know you would want my and the boys life to be happy and full of love. It hasn't been easy. It is very easy to get caught up in the loss and become bitter and angry. I have had many bitter, angry days. I think all survivors do and it makes it hard to focus on rebuilding our shattered lives. However when I look at our two little guys I know that I must continue on because we had dreams for our life and I must carry on without you here. I don't know that the outside world really understands how hard it is to carry on a life that you didn't choose. I got no choice in this matter, I am stuck with what happened. No matter how much I pray for my normal life to come back to me that just isn't going to happen. I have to build a new life and that is just downright unfair at times. However I try to remain positive and focus on the good things, it is just really hard especially on days like today.

I don't leave reflections anymore because in counseling I realized I was focusing too much on the loss and death. I needed to focus on life. That is hard at times. I decided to focus on my life and stop sharing it with the world. Too much of my life is already at the specualtion of others and I needed to make it mine again. I needed to deal with my feelings on a personal level and try to work through some of this. Stopping the reflections in no way meant that I have stopped thinking of you daily and talking to you daily. I feel your presence all the time.

Your two little guys are wonderful as always. Landon loves Kindergarten and is very proud to read his books to me when he gets home. I beam with pride at how much he is growing up. He still struggles with all of this and we are working hard in that area. I know I can't "fix" him or take away his pain and that hurts more than anything in the world. That our children our forever impacted by this one event. Tyler is my loving little mama's boy and makes me laugh all the time. You would laugh yourself silly over some of the things they do. Landon is in flag football and got a touchdown a few weeks ago. Tyler is bragging to everyone that he gets to sign up for t-ball next year. I started Landon in therapuetic riding and he loves it. He has gained so much confidence from his relationship with his horse and his ability to control Rusty, his horse. We just painted Tyler's room green to match his John Deere decorations (the theme you picked). Every night at bed time he tells me Mommy I love my John Deere stuff.

At Spouses retreat we ended our debriefing on a positive note with a funny story about our loved one...I wanted to end this reflection in the same way. I told everyone the mermaid story!!

We had just watched the movie, Splash. You were setting on the couch and looked at me in a totally serious way and said, "Sara is there any such thing as a mermaid?" I said, "No, Brandy!!" You gave me your sheepish smile and I cracked up at you. We had just bought a salt water fish tank and were stocking up. I thought your mermaid question was so funny that I shared it with Monte Ray. Everytime he stopped at the house he cracked up laughing and said, "Hey, Brandy when you going to buy a mermaid for your tank?" You were so mad at me for telling him. However you loved it when people teased you about being so naive. You gave it right back.

Well here is to wishing that mermaids really swam the ocean and I could show one to our boys!!! And we still haven't had a man on Mars yet either dear!

I still love you and miss you more than anything in the world.

Sara

October 13, 2006

Now and always, your friends and family miss you and love you so much.

October 13, 2006

Sara and family,

All of you are always in my thoughs. Continue to keep moving forward in life and make the most of what has been handed to you. We are only here for a short time and I am sure Brandy loved all of you too much in life to want to see any of you unhappy. And no matter what, he will always be a part of all of you.

Love,
Jenn

Jennifer Aaron
Wife of Duke Aaron (EOW 07/20/04)

October 10, 2006

As the second anniversary of your tragic death approaches, you are remembered and honored for your heroism. May you rest in peace in the loving arms of the One who created you and loves you for eternity.

Mary Kay Balchunas
Mother of Special Agent Jay Balchunas, EOW 11/5/04

October 10, 2006

WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU SACRIFICED FOR ALL OF US ON THURSDAY OCTOBER 14TH, 2004!! YOU ARE A SHINING STAR!!! GOD BLESS THE WINFIELD FAMILY AS ANOTHER YEAR GOES ON!!!

October 10, 2006

Bran
Well it has been 2 years today that we last seen you when we all went out to eat for my birthday. Who was to know that would be the last time my whole family would get to spend time together. I know that they all say time heals but I believe that people just put the hurt in their hearts cause they know people don't want to hear about it anymore.We all still hurt and miss you more everyday. I am so thankful that we have the boys to enjoy. They are so much fun to be with and I see you in both of them and that is a comfort. We are still winning all the games and hope you are pulling for them so we can win another national championship. I remember you dressing Ty in the national championship outfit and you put the hat on him to get his picture taken at the hospital. GO BUCKS Landon rode home with us when we went to yes Olive Garden again for my birthday dinner and as always first thing he ask for is play the buckeye songs for me. We always do and sing along and do the O-H-I-O with him. Miss you very much and love you and will never forget you. GO BUCKS!!!!

October 10, 2006

Sara,
I understand that you loved your husband as a wife should and he loved you as a husband should. Only you and Bran will know what you shared. Just as only you and Bran will know how you feel today. I've seen your inner feelings and what you are still dealing with and my heart aches that others can't or won't see that too. But that's ok Sara. You know and Brandy knows what you feel and what you go through. That's all that matters in the end. I agree with an earlier reflection that I read that said there is no blue print for getting over the loss of a loved one. No one knows what it is like to be you right now. Each person lost something different in a way. You lost your husband, the Winfield family lost their son, brother and friend. I am proud of the love and respect that you have given Brandy, his family, other survivor's in your shoes, but most importantly for being a mother to those beautiful boys. You are doing one heck of a job Sara. Please stay strong and continue on.

October 4, 2006

Sara:

I know the anniversary is approaching...please know that we are thinking of you and your family.

I hope you also know that when you move on in your life, it will never take away from how much you loved Brandy, and will always love Brandy. I hope others will be understanding of that as well. Your family, his family, your friends, etc. You are a very young woman, and have been through a tremendous loss. Brandy would want you to go on lving her on earth until you meet again. If you find new love in your life, it will be a testiment to how well you were loved by Brandy. And anyone who truly loves you will forever understand that you will never stop loving Brandy, and that if things were as they should be, you would still be with him, and he will always be in your heart, an important part of your life, and who you are. I know there is alot of emotions felt in many ways, by many people who loved Brandy, but they are not allowed to judge you - you are a strong, dedicated woman, a wonderful mother and I have no doubt that Brandy is very proud of you. None of us will ever forget him.

Kelly

October 3, 2006

We will keep you in our prayers and thoughts as your 2nd EOW approaches!

October 2, 2006

I think of you often. I too, know that you no longer can feel any pain-only the most amazing happiness. There is no time in heaven, so it will only feel like an instant to you that you are reunited with your loved ones. It may feel like eternity here though, but someday...

Please know you will never be forgotten. You are such a big part of so many people's lives.

October 2, 2006