Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Joey,

You left so much good here on earth! You were surrounded with such great people. The All Saints Service was on your birthday...Pia and your mom were there, and so was Marie, Anne, MM and I. We all had kind of a rough time with it but I'm glad we went. You had a great girlfriend/fiance and great parents...they are all so proud of you and love you so much. I'm beginning to see where you got your greatness. We love you don't forget that!

*CD*

HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY JOEY! We all miss you so much today, and don't understand why you can't be here, but we know that somewhere you are celebrating! We love you! Nov. 4 2001

"Why is the thought of death so painful when death stops all pain?"

Anonymous

Joey- Your eyes that glittered in the moonlight, the eyes full of hope and never showed fright, the eyes that saw our spirit and souls, the eyes that were happy and joyful that seemed to never grow old, the sadness you hid when your eyes were full of tears, the eyes that were pleasant, that helped destroy our fears, the eyes that wondered how we were doing, the eyes that cleared us
of a bad day, the vision of your precious beautiful loving eyes will never go away.

Your spirit will always be in our hearts and will never disappear, Joey, thank you for walking into my heart and never leaving, my love for you will never fade away. I love you brother and miss you always.

Anne your little sis (11/03/01)

There is an old story called Beaches, which goes as follows:

An old man died and was looking over his shoulder at the beach of his life. Along the shore he noticed there were two sets of footprints in the sand - one set was himself walking through his life, and the other was Jesus Christ walking next to him. He noticed, though, that at the worst times in his life, when the waves came fiercely crashing against rough sands scattered with broken shells, there were only one set of footprints. He looked into the Savior's face with tears in his eyes and said, "Jesus, Lord, why would you leave me at the times I needed you most?" And Jesus replied, "No, child. Those were the times that I carried you."

I honestly believe that, because of you, there will be three sets of footprints along many of our beaches. At the rough spots, there will be only two sets, but I will not have to ask why. I know that those will be the times that Christ caught your eye, and the two of you lifted me up and over the the broken shells and the rough waves.
I have asked God so many times, "Why did you do this? Why on earth would it be a good idea to take Joey away from us?" and I finally know the answer. There is no answer on this earth. The answer is beyond the earth and beyond our understanding. And every time that I find myself talking to God, whether pleasantly or angrily, about it, I never forget to include one sentence in that sort of prayer.
Thank you so so so much God, for letting Joey walk along my beach.

~joey's little sisters...~
Halloween, 2001 - Happy Halloween Joey

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts so badly. I love you.

What I wouldn't give to see you again...
That object does not exist.
I know there's no way you can know
Just how much you are missed.
You're in our thoughts with every passing second,
Ever-present in our hearts...
The tears we cry cannot express,
The pain we feel from being apart.

Joey precioso,

Le sostendrán siempre cerca de nuestros corazones y mentes. El efecto que usted tenía en nosotros aquí en la tierra era asombroso. Le amamos tanto y apreciamos los tiempos maravillosos con los cuales usted nos bendijo. Su corazón era así que caliente, su sonrisa era así que grandes y los tiempos que compartimos eran el mejores de nuestras vidas. Usted no será olvidado siempre. Le faltamos cada día y llevamos a cabo nuestra fe que todos seamos juntos otra vez algún día. Le amamos.

Mucho amante de,

El Equipo De CPC

It's still just so surreal. I realized today as I was watching TV that I don't believe it. It's been almost five months and it's just still like a bad dream I had. I was sitting there on the couch and I caught myself thinking, "Maybe Joey is coming over tonight." I was all the way into what I needed to say to him before I remembered...that's impossible. He can't come over. I logged on to check if Joey had any new reflections and when his picture popped up i just felt stunned. I always think, "This is it, I've accepted it, I'm sad but I'm moving on" then something will happen that forces me to see how much I'm NOT over it. I just don't know how long it will take, or if it will ever happen. There's so much to be sad about...but I hate that tact at life. I'll be plowing along, thinking I'm doing good in the optimism range, and then bam! something will hit me very, very hard, and it's almost ALWAYS remembering what happened.

I love you, Joey, and I miss you every day. It's not real to me yet - I'm still thinking you are here - but at some point in my life, your absence will probably hit home. It just doesn't add up - how can the world function without you in it? I'll tell you, I'm certainly doing worse than I used to. I've already been "apart" from seeing you for longer than ever before and while I am starting to feel it, I still haven't quite realized it. My ears are hearing what happened, my mouth is saying what happened, my brain is thinking what happened, but my heart just isn't following along those same lines. I guess you always seemed too big and strong to die, and too nice to ever just not be there anymore. It hurts not only because I miss you, but also because I miss just being able to tell you things, and I miss little things like your voice and your smile and your abnormally large eating habits. Once you know a person you get attached to them, and I was certainly attached to you. I'm pretty decent at putting on a strong face, but it's not a secret how often I cry. There are good moments, but they seem rarer lately and I miss you so much. Last time I ever saw you, if I had only known...I would have said so much more to you, spent the entire evening right by your warm side instead of running out to let the dogs in or fixing myself a snack. I try to show you the smile that you always said you liked to see, but it's harder than it was when you were here...a LOT harder. I miss you so much, and I love you so much, and don't ever underestimate the power you had over people's hearts, because it was amazing.

Casey 10/19/01

You always had the biggest heart of us all - we weren't even in the same league. That heart stopped beating but its love kept flowing and it's a 2-way street, Joey, we all love you so much.

I didn't know Corporal Joey personally, I had only met him once. However, I do know many people who were close to him, and saw how greatly they were affected by the tragedy that caused his death. He was obviously an incredible man to have touched so many people, and I wish I had known him because maybe I would have been a better person for it.

Donna

I never thought I would get into the car and have my mom give me news like she did on June 11th, when I returned from South Padre. I never thought I would turn on the TV, thinking that this couldn't be true, and see your face on the news broadcast, unless you had won an award. I never thought I would open up the Metro section and you would be on the obituary page. I never thought I would log onto a page for passed officers and see your beautiful face shining on the screen. I never thought I would enter the cemetery and see your wonderful name on one of the stones. I never thought that, when I did meet your parents, it would be a happening like this that made our paths cross. I never thought the day would come that you might stop ringing our doorbell every few weeks, or that, each time the phone rang, I would know for a fact that it wouldn't be you on the other end of the line. I never, never in a million years would have dreamed that this could happen...I remember so many times that I walked you to the door and said, "Be careful, Joey," and you said, "I am careful." I never dreamed, as you sat at our kitchen counter some months ago now, eating our leftovers and smiling, that this would be the last time I would see you. As we walked you to the door and I watched you go down the driveway with one last wave, and then watched your truck driving down the street, it never occurred to me that that was the last I would ever see of you. Some days I think this is just craziness, and I can't believe it, but it gets easier to believe when you aren't there at times you would normally be there. Still, it seems like you're "away," as if you'll be back any day now.

THE MONUMENT
(inscribed at the Dallas Police Memorial)


I never dreamed it would be me,
My name for all eternity,
Recorded at this hallowed place,
Alas, my name, no more my face

"In the line of duty" I hear them say;
My family now the price will pay.
My folded flag stained with their tears;
We only had those few short years.

The badge no longer on my chest,
I sleep now in eternal rest.
My sword I pass to those behind,
And pray they keep this thought in mind

I never dreamed it would be me,
And with heavy heart and bended knee;
I ask for all here from the past,
Dear God, let my name be the last.

-George Hahn, LAPD, Retired

Of all the police officers in the world I don't understand why it had to be the one that I knew and loved so dearly...I miss you every single day, and you are always in the back of my mind. My heart is shattered but I know you are helping all of us to piece our hearts back together. Twenty years from now I may be able to look back and say that I learned something...as of right now, I just miss you so much I can hardly stand it sometimes.
Yesterday marked 4 months. I can barely stand it. I barely noticed - I thought it had been barely three until Annie pointed it out. I only knew you for 2 years - you've already been gone for a sixth of the time we were friends. I hate the passage of time because it only widens the gap, it seems like, and it hurts so much. I'm scared I'll turn around tomorrow and it will have been five years.
Well, you're almost 28 now - a little less than a month. I know you're watching over us and laughing at us because we do such stupid stuff all the time. :) I know that you would want your memory to be a positive thing, not something that always tugs at the back of someone's brain, and I'm really working on that one, but you're a very difficult person to lose. You just put such a steady stream of good into the world - I don't understand how it can just be cut off.
Tomorrow my dad leaves for the much-anticipated trip to Nepal. I know you wish you could hear about it but, in a sense you can sort of be there now. Keep him safe OK.
I love you and miss you so very much. God bless you. The world is so much darker without you in it, I just want you to be here so so so bad...it feels like I am running but I'm not getting anywhere, and I know you would want all of us to just be happy. I'll admit we all took it very roughly but we are really trying to scramble to our feet and I know you're proud of us. I love you so much, you did so much good, and I miss you so crazily much brother. Love,

Casey 10.08.01

I MISS YOU JOEY
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR
LAUGHTER OR YOUR BIG HEART
LOVE YOU JOEY

Joey this is and always will be my song for you:


Faith Hill’s “ There You’ll Be”


When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed

To get to have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you
For all my life I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you'll be

Well you showed me how to feel
Feel the sky was in my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to
me
Your love made me make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you
For all my life I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there youll be

'Cause I always saw in you my light, my strength
And I want to thank you now
For all the ways you were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place for you
For all my life I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am, there you'll be

There will never be a dull memory with you, and I guess
thats why I still can't believe your gone and why I shed
so many tears, you were so lively and special to me, I
don't know if I could ask for a better best friend, a
brother thatn you. A part of you will always be with me, I
love you and miss you always..

Anne 10/03/01

I really miss you Joey.
I think about you daily.
Thanks for taking care of Anne, Casey, and I.
Love You sooo Much!!!
I can't wait for the day I see you again!!

MM

The following is an excerpt from Tim McGraw's song "Please Remember Me."

All our tears have reached the sea.
Part of you will live in me,
Way down deep inside my heart.
The days keep coming without fail.
A new wind is gonna find your sail,
That's where your journey starts...
Please remember me.

I love you ~ Casey ~ 9~19~01

Could I possibly miss you more?
I'm shedding tears for a great man.
God Bless You, Precious Joey.

Joey...you were truly our angel in waiting. You were surrounded by so much love. Today marks three months we have dragged through without you. Hopefully, at some point, we will be able to stop dragging and start walking, but I fear that's a long time away. You should be proud that you touched so, so many people. You were always so modest about it, just cocking your head and saying, "Thanks, but it's nothing" or just laughing a little. What was so truly amazing about you was that you didn't try to be so wonderful - it just came naturally. You didn't see any other way to live, or to treat people. You were an outstanding human being, an exquisite cop, the best friend anyone could ask for and, from talking to your parents, the best son they could ever imagine. I miss you and love you so, so much.

Casey 9.7.01.

...I have be reading the reflections left for Officer Cushman. It breaks my heart to see the pain that is in the hearts of those left behind. But, I hope that it will give some relief to them know that there are people in this world who die very old with less love found than this man. He knew he was loved by many, and that matters. Isn't that what we are here for? My heart goes
out to all of you wonderful people, you are a great reflection of what kind of person this Officer was.

Beth

Joey, I'm sorry I'll never get to do a ride-along in your police car like we talked about. I'm sorry that I'll never get to see you fly an airplane and maybe fly with you. I'm sorry we'll never get to go to Peru so you can show me the ropes. But I learned from these times, you have to seize the day and do what you want to do. I wish we had gone ahead and done the ride-along, etc a long time ago. You always went out and lived out your every dream and I intend to do the same. Also, I know you would tell me that I shouldn't regret the past, but learn from it in the future. I miss you and will always love you, and never forget you.

Hey Joey,

Yesterday Marie drove us out to get Annie her soccer cleats (she joined the team!) in Eastchase so we swung by the precinct. On the way Marie began talking about when she went to see your parents and how, when she went outside, this little boy across the street got confused and said, "Hey...Joey!" So then we all started crying and we had just gotten all composed when Marie mentioned, "Hey, this is where I was, driving to the hospitals, when Chuck called and told me the news."
The precinct looked so sad, like it was missing something. Not all the lights were on and there was a group of people just sort of standing in the parking lot. It made us feel sort of empty.
So, we were having a really hard time and we want to thank you for the white stripes and the flickering lights later that night. It made us feel a lot better about everything. Still, it isn't the same but we'll take it over nothing.
We miss you so, so, so, so, so, so much and love you so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so very much every single day. It's amazing to us, looking back, the effect that you had and still do have on our lives. Thanks for all you did.


><>...<><, Case

Love Ya Much, MM

Lots of love,
Annie

*Casey*MM*&Anne*

I've written a million words and erased them all. Nothing quite seems adequate...so...

THANK YOU OFFICER JOEY

Everyone You Touched

Only the best dress out in blue,
And walk out that door each day,
Not knowing if they'll make it back,
Or if the price they'll pay.
Only the strongest at their hearts
Can look at family and friends
And love them so, so, so, so much
Fearlessly knowing that it all could end.
Only the kindest would die for another,
Without the blink or the bat of an eye,
And only our Joey was just like a brother,
To everyone whose life he passed by.

Rest in peace Joey...we miss you so much.
(And then when they really ARE surprised...WHEW! I'll see you around. Love you.)

Anonymous

I missed you so much today! It had been almost 3 years since I had lost someone and obviously, you know you miss people when they pass, but you really don't truly remember until it hits you again like this. The little things you used to do I miss so much. While I was wandering around school I was on the verge of tears. In geometery we did a thing with planes and lines and we had to stick raw spaghetti through holes we punched in paper boxes. I remembered the one time you came over while my dad was helping you figure out what you wanted to do in Peru, and we had leftovers from dinner - about fifty thousand pounds of spaghetti - and yet, you cleaned us out.
It's the worst feeling in the world to miss someone. I feel like someone is knifing me in the heart every time I have to look at your grave. I just think, "There is no way in this world that I am looking at Joey's grave. He was at my house a month ago!" Then it was two months ago, and now we're approaching three. Death boggles the human mind. So does life, but we enjoy the ride.
You really did enjoy the ride. A lot of people come on ODMP and talk about how you affected them. I don't doubt it for a second. You seriously revolutionized me. You made me an optimist and taught me not to sweat the small stuff. You taught me that life is serious, but it's still a a game, and that I should follow through with my dreams. Assuming I live through the average life expectancy - and it IS increasing rapidly - I've got over sixty years before I see you again. Honestly - I went back to my hotel room the day I met you as a different person. You had a mind of your own, which I have always had too, but your attitude helped me channel it more positively. Thankfully I never had times so rough I had to call on you for help, but I knew you would come running and I miss that assurance. I remember this one time you saw tears in my eyes - who knows what about, just some trivial little problem - and you cocked your head, patted me on the back and said, "If you need me, let me know, okay?" As we approach three months it seems I miss you more and more. I think it's beginning to sink in and I don't like it at all. I can't see a future without you in it. But I said that the second I found out and I saw the first week, then the first month, then two months...honestly, the world's a little darker but your light shows up in the most unexpected places. And I know you would say to me that life goes on, or that we're "good to go" like you always used to say.
We always knew your heart would NEVER grow old, but we never thought your body wouldn't. My eyes can't see you anymore but my heart always will. I have a lot left to do here but you will always be in the back of my mind. I miss you and love you so very much. Thanks for every second. See you at the Golden Gates.

August 29, 2001

Anonymous

Joey-

Life is a garden, it can have flowers or weeds- the difference is how you tend to it...yours was most often filled with flowers and I am lucky to have walked in it.

I miss you more than I can ever say.

Love you.

Anonymous