Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Detective Kevin Shumway Orr

Uintah County Sheriff's Office, Utah

End of Watch Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Detective Kevin Shumway Orr

I never do anything right. As hard as I try to please people I'm the one who always gets hurt. I wish when I was sad you could come and rescue me. What I would give for a hug from you.
My heart breaks for the life we had. It was perfect. I love you Kevin.

Holley

July 26, 2016

Daddy,
Happy Father's Day. I can't even begin to express how much I love you. Thank you for your example in everything.

On a different note...Isn't it sad how your opinions on a certain organization don't change after 10 years? I guess treating people poorly is their specialty. I'm just frustrated... Anyway, I love you

Jessica
Daughter

June 17, 2016

Dear Kevin
I am missing you so much.
I think about you all the time.
Why I can't have you here.
What life would be like if you hadn't passed away
I wonder how much others even think of you now.
Everyone's life's went on and continue to go on.
My life was forever changed.
I love you more than words can even begin to express.

Holley
Wife

April 18, 2016

Daddy,
I just wanted to write to you. This past weekend we celebrated your birthday. I wish you could have celebrated with us. I love you. I'm thankful for the knowledge that we will see you again one day.
Love you, miss you

Jessica
Daughter

March 24, 2016

Happy Birthday my dear Kevin. I love you more than words can express. I miss sharing life with you my best friend.

Holley
Wife

March 18, 2016

Daddy.
I really miss you right now... I wish you could be here to just give me a hug.
Love you...

Jessica
Daughter

January 29, 2016

I can be surrounded by family and still feel so alone. I miss you so much. I love you.

Wife

January 24, 2016

Thinking of your family today. I hope they are doing well... God speed.

Slade Gurr
Friend/Admirer

January 8, 2016

Merry Christmas in Heaven my sweet Kevin. I love you.

Wife

December 26, 2015

Just made it through my 10th Christmas without you. I feel SO cheated out not having you here. I have never let the kids know how hard Christmas is for me. I have wanted to make it the best for them. I have always put them first, thinking of them and trying to make their lives the best they could be. I always put myself last. I miss you here to put me first. I miss you here to comfort me. It is so hard. I miss you. I love you.

Wife

December 26, 2015

My sweet Kevin,
I am missing you so much tonight. I feel so alone. I need to talk to you...

Holley

December 11, 2015

My Sweet Kevin.
9 years...So much has happened since that terrible day.
As I left the hospital I knew I was going home to 4 little children that would grow up without their dad here for SO many things. I promised you that I would make sure the kids remembered you. I have kept my promise.Ashlee and Kaylee were so young, but they love you so much. I remember a week after your funeral Ashlee standing in the entryway saying, "Da- da at?" How could a 2 year old understand what happened when I did not understand. She sobbed and sobbed. Yelling, "No, my da-da. I want my da-da I will never forget the moment I woke Tyler up to tell him that you did not make it. The weight of the world had been placed on a little boys shoulders. He grew up overnight. The carefree life that he had know, no longer existed. Jessica took on more responsibility than an 11 year old girl should have to endure. She listened to me as I needed someone to talk to about all the CRAP that came from your passing. MOST of it did not even need to take place. But because of others choices, I was put through hell and back. She listened to me and let me vent. Kaylee worried and held in emotions in that have effected her long term. I lost health insurance, lost friends, lost family, was judged, have had some cruel things said and done to us. Life has dealt one problem after another with health issues for the kids. I lost you, my best friend, the one I talked to about my day, I miss hearing about your day, I miss seeing your excitement in the things the kids do and say. I miss my companion, my biggest fan, my lover, I miss hearing you tell me how much you love me. I miss you calling me, I miss you bringing me flowers home, I miss you walking though the door, I miss your help, I miss having you in the same room, I miss your smile, I miss you laugh, I miss your voice. I miss doing things together. I miss playing games together as a family. The kids have been through so many things that they needed you here for physically. Yes everyone tells them you are here and aware (what a comfort that is) but what Jessica would have given to gave you a hug after she got married. All her friends, cousins, get to do that. Tyler really needs you now. He needs you. He needs your advice, your help. Please help him. I can't do it. Kaylee and Ashlee got cheated out on time with you. They needed their dad in our home, to see what a loving relationship is like. They have not had many examples of that.
I learned who has cared. I have learned who kept their word to you. I have learned who will let me talk about you to them.
I am so thankful that we love each other and showed it to each other so I do not have to live with guilt.
I am thankful that you did everything to make sure the kids are would be taken care of while you were here and since you passed. Thank-you for choosing me to be your wife, eternal companion and best friend. Thank-you for all you do for me.
I love you my eternal companion.

Holley
wife

November 22, 2015

Daddy,
Well... Your little girl is all grown up. Last Thursday, I was sealed for time and all eternity, to the love of my life. Daddy, I'm married. I'm Jessica Anderson, now. It was such a bittersweet day. As I sat in the brides room at the temple, it hit me. It was the day that all little girls can't wait for. I was a princess. But, it was the day I'd dreaded for almost 9 years. We'd realized you'd be absent for baptisms, first days of school, piano and dance recitals, sports games, first dates, graduation, mission calls, temple endowments, entering the MTC, and so many other countless little things. But your wedding day should be the happiest day of your life, without a hesitation... I missed you. So, so much. But, as President Robb sealed us, he reminded us that our marriage will last far beyond this mortal life. And for that, I was grateful. Because not only our marriage, but yours and moms. I know you were there. I just wish, you could have physically joined us.
Daddy, it was such a happy day. It was beautiful, and perfect. I'm grateful for the example of you and mom and teaching me that I should never settle for less than perfect. Less than eternity.
I love you daddy. I'll always be your little girl. I'll always miss you. I'll continue to send you little red balloons...
Love you,
Jessica Orr Anderson

Jessica
Daughter

October 19, 2015

Today our little girl is getting married. Please be with her.

Holley
Wife

October 8, 2015

My love.
So many changes have happened in our family.
I finally have grieved for myself. Since November 21, 2006. I just grieved for the kids and how much they would miss not having their daddy here. It has been so hard to come to terms that I will be alone someday. The kids will have their own families. Not that they will not always miss you because they will. I just have felt so alone. I did not realize how much I have truly missed out on. I can be in a crowded room and feel so alone. I can be sitting on the couch and feel so alone. I relied on Jessica and Tyler way too much because I'm so lost without them. I really do not know how I will make it, I am 41. I was 32 when you passed. I feel so cheated tonight. I can handle most things, but loneliness is the hardest to deal with.
I love you and always will. I will miss you until I'm with you again.

Holley
Wife

October 5, 2015

Daddy,
"Now that little girl
Is all grown up
But she still finds the time
To keep in touch
I miss you, Dad
How are things in Heaven?
I'm gettin' married next July
I wish you could'a met him
What I'd give to have you here
To see my dreams come true
I guess I'll just keep sendin' you these
Little red balloons
I miss you, Dad
I miss you, Dad"

I'm engaged. Donovan asked me to marry him, for time and all eternity, this past Saturday. We decided to be sealed in the Salt Lake temple on October 8. I wish more than anything you could be here. For all of us. Especially mom. I can't even begin to imagine what she has had to experience these past 8 1/2+ years. She is truly my hero... Please, if it's possible, be nearer to her this Wednesday. Your 22nd anniversary.
Daddy, I wish you could meet him. I wish I could see you both laugh and smile. I just miss you.
I will always love and miss you. You will forever be this little girls, first love.
Love you...
Me

Jessica
Daughter

August 11, 2015

As our 22nd anniversary approaches I feel so cheated that I only got you here for 13 of them. This will be the 9th one I am alone. I hate that you are not here to show me your love. Everyone thinks I'm fine. Well I not fine. I am so lonely it hurts. I miss you so much. I love you, my love.

.

August 8, 2015

Today was our sons special day. He did an amazing job speaking. He is such a remarkable young man. He has so many of your qualities. He is kind, caring, thoughtful, smart and devoted to our Savior. He has been so good to me. He has been concerned about me. I know you are as proud of him as I am. I sure will miss him as he leaves for France for two years. I know you will be watching over him. I love you always.

Holley
Wife

July 12, 2015

Daddy,
I miss you so much. So, so much lately. I just want to be able to talk to you. Just to know that you are happy for me in everything that's going on.
I typed so much, but I just deleted it. I guess words don't even begin to express the thoughts, feelings and emotions that I'm experiencing.
Daddy, I wish you could meet him...
I love you. I always will. You will always be a part of my life. You will always be my "first love."
Love you....

Jessica
Daughter

June 13, 2015

Daddy,
I miss you so much. I always do, but the last few weeks especially. I wish I could talk to you about different things. You could give me advice, tease me, and share my happiness. Every single thing I've done in the last eight and a half years has been hard. Life is difficult and different without you here. I think though, the stage that I'm at in my life...has been the hardest for me, missing you. Everything should be simple..but there are so many different variables and emotions in play.
Having said...this is been the most difficult time for me, I wish more than anything that you could be here for mom. It hurts me, to see her miss you. It hurts me, to know your reunion will be many years down the road. It hurts me, to see her have to struggle with different things that most moms don't have too. It hurts me, to see her hurt. It really, truly, honestly does.
Daddy, I don't know what to do. Is there no middle ground? I feel like whatever I do and say, I'm hurting someone. I don't want that. I want peace, understanding, and happiness. For everyone, and not just me. I guess, nothing really makes sense anymore. But then, at the same time, I've never been more sure.
Ugh... I wish, life could just be easy sometimes. I wish, sometimes we could just get a break.
Daddy, I just miss your smile. But then again, I miss everything about you. Please help us all..
I love you...

Jessica
Daughter

April 24, 2015

Daddy,
I wish you were here. I wish things could just slow down, and go back to the way they were.
Last night on my way home I was listening to songs on my phone. Heaven was needing a Hero, came on first. Then, Little Red Balloon. I couldn't help but think of what those songs mean to me, and how real they fit my life. We've missed out on so much with you...it just doesn't even seem real sometimes. It still feels like you could walk through the door at anytime.
The line that hit me most, was in the second song.. "Now that little girl, is all grown up. But she still finds the time, to keep in touch. I miss you dad. How are things in Heaven?"
I do miss you dad. Every single day. So very much..

Jessica
Daughter

April 9, 2015

Daddy,
I can't even begin to count how many times I've started to write you. So much as happened. So so much...
1. Happy Birthday(: I spent the morning in the temple. I'm so grateful for the Eternal perspective that we have. For me, there are harder 'days' than your birthday. For me, it's a day we get to celebrate your life. A day to remember you, and remember special memories.
2. I've started serving in the temple again. I work Wednesday mornings and mid-day on Saturdays. Heavenly Father has truly blessed me, and allowed me to remember things quickly. To me, it's proof the church is true. Half the time, I can't remember the second half of my sentence, or the point to a story. But, in the temple, words come to me.
3. I guess you could say I'm moving forward in life. Karrie and I were talking about this book that she read. Essentially, this RM (Sister) wrote a book, about how to adjust back into life. How, you're mission is wonderful, and you'll think of it everyday, but to move on to the next part of your life. It's easier said than done...I know I struggled with coming back into reality. I guess I feel I've been doing better this past month. Speaking in church really helped me. Normally, that's when the 'mission stage' ends.
4. Reporting my mission...well. I'm glad it's over(: I'm sure mom is too. I really struggled the week previous. I felt like, all I wanted was for you to be there physically to support me. I know without a shadow of a doubt you were there spiritually, and that you would have loved to have been there physically. It really hurt me, that even though different people had the opportunity to be there physically, they didn't bother to come. I know I said I didn't really care, but I did. It makes me so sad, to know that people are jealous of what we 'have' when all I wanted was for you to be there. How sad that is for them... But on the other hand, when everything was turned upside down, different people in my life stepped up to the plate.
5. Tyler received one of those big white envelopes in the mail. After waiting for him to open it....he opened it on March 16. Daddy, he's going to be a missionary in the France Lyon Mission! I was beyond excited for him. It was the best seeing a huge happy smile on his face. I know he'll be great.
6. Also, dealing with Tyler. He's had quite the senior year. From AP Bio and Chem, to calculus and Sterling Scholar. Last Tuesday was the SS awards ceremony. I had to hold back tears as the science SS walked on stage. I just couldn't help but think how big the smile on your face was. He just looked all grown up! I just have a great love and respect for him.
7. This past weekend was General Conference. It was amazing...it never ceases to amaze me how different talks can trigger thoughts that end up being answers to different questions we have. I just love being able to hear the prophet, apostles and all those that serve with them, speak. I know they are truly called of God.
8. So, I guess I'm going to the YSA ward. Yeah...after I said I never would... I do have reasoning though! Brother Barker cornered me in the temple and said they had a calling in mind for me, to be a missionary over here in the Lapoint/Tridell area. But...in order to be called, I'd have to start going to the YSA ward on Sunday. So, I have. Two weeks now. It's pretty much exactly what I figured it would be..(:
9. Speaking of...I went to FHE last night. Donovan and I walked in and sat down. He was saying something when I noticed a girl on the end of our row. I ran (well...) and gave her a hug. She was pretty surprised to see me. It was Sister Mecailla Shupe! We were in the MTC together, and companions for a day. She was sent home on medical last summer, and they are still trying to figure out what's wrong. It was a tender mercy for both of us to run into each other(:
10. I of course wish I could talk to you about each and every one of these things. But this one...especially. I think you already know. (: More than any of us. I just wish you were here...
I love you dad. You're the best ever(:

Jessica
Daughter

April 8, 2015

Daddy,
I can't even begin to count how many times I've started to write you. So much as happened. So so much...
1. Happy Birthday(: I spent the morning in the temple. I'm so grateful for the Eternal perspective that we have. For me, there are harder 'days' than your birthday. For me, it's a day we get to celebrate your life. A day to remember you, and remember special memories.
2. I've started serving in the temple again. I work Wednesday mornings and mid-day on Saturdays. Heavenly Father has truly blessed me, and allowed me to remember things quickly. To me, it's proof the church is true. Half the time, I can't remember the second half of my sentence, or the point to a story. But, in the temple, words come to me.
3. I guess you could say I'm moving forward in life. Karrie and I were talking about this book that she read. Essentially, this RM (Sister) wrote a book, about how to adjust back into life. How, you're mission is wonderful, and you'll think of it everyday, but to move on to the next part of your life. It's easier said than done...I know I struggled with coming back into reality. I guess I feel I've been doing better this past month. Speaking in church really helped me. Normally, that's when the 'mission stage' ends.
4. Reporting my mission...well. I'm glad it's over(: I'm sure mom is too. I really struggled the week previous. I felt like, all I wanted was for you to be there physically to support me. I know without a shadow of a doubt you were there spiritually, and that you would have loved to have been there physically. It really hurt me, that even though different people had the opportunity to be there physically, they didn't bother to come. I know I said I didn't really care, but I did. It makes me so sad, to know that people are jealous of what we 'have' when all I wanted was for you to be there. How sad that is for them... But on the other hand, when everything was turned upside down, different people in my life stepped up to the plate.
5. Tyler received one of those big white envelopes in the mail. After waiting for him to open it....he opened it on March 16. Daddy, he's going to be a missionary in the France Lyon Mission! I was beyond excited for him. It was the best seeing a huge happy smile on his face. I know he'll be great.
6. Also, dealing with Tyler. He's had quite the senior year. From AP Bio and Chem, to calculus and Sterling Scholar. Last Tuesday was the SS awards ceremony. I had to hold back tears as the science SS walked on stage. I just couldn't help but think how big the smile on your face was. He just looked all grown up! I just have a great love and respect for him.
7. This past weekend was General Conference. It was amazing...it never ceases to amaze me how different talks can trigger thoughts that end up being answers to different questions we have. I just love being able to hear the prophet, apostles and all those that serve with them, speak. I know they are truly called of God.
8. So, I guess I'm going to the YSA ward. Yeah...after I said I never would... I do have reasoning though! Brother Barker cornered me in the temple and said they had a calling in mind for me, to be a missionary over here in the Lapoint/Tridell area. But...in order to be called, I'd have to start going to the YSA ward on Sunday. So, I have. Two weeks now. It's pretty much exactly what I figured it would be..(:
9. Speaking of...I went to FHE last night. Donovan and I walked in and sat down. He was saying something when I noticed a girl on the end of our row. I ran (well...) and gave her a hug. She was pretty surprised to see me. It was Sister Mecailla Shupe! We were in the MTC together, and companions for a day. She was sent home on medical last summer, and they are still trying to figure out what's wrong. It was a tender mercy for both of us to run into each other(:
10. I of course wish I could talk to you about each and every one of these things. But this one...especially. I think you already know. (: More than any of us. I just wish you were here...
I love you dad. You're the best ever(:

Jessica
Daughter

April 7, 2015

I love you.

Holley

April 3, 2015

My dear Kevin. I am so lonely for you. As I see other couples together happy it is hard for it not to sting. I miss feeling your love. I miss your appreciation for all I try to do. I miss our friendship. I miss you my best friend. I love you and hope I can continue to endure without you.

Me

April 1, 2015

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