Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

Easton Police Department, Pennsylvania

End of Watch Friday, March 25, 2005

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Jesse Erick Sollman

The years pass but it seems like yesterday that you were here, but to those that love you dearly it has felt like a lifetime since they heard your voice, saw your smile and hugged you. Spring is here and the warm rains will come. Those that love you will know that:

"A Raindrop landing on your check
Is a kiss from someone that lives in Heaven
And is Watching Over You."

You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

March 25, 2016

Carin I thought of you today, then I found this page! You are an inspiration to me. I still have that teapot you gave me and it reminds me of you and your family. I thank God for keeping watch over you and the kids, I can't believe they are teenagers already!! I read your reflections, Jesse would be proud of you!! I continue to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Tutu.

Tutu
Former co- worker

January 26, 2016

Happy Birthday Jesse. I think of you every day.

John R
Father

December 4, 2015

Thinking of you and the kids, Carin.

Ilona

May 4, 2015

I thought I left a reflection yesterday. Please keep watch over your loved ones. I know 10 years may have passed but you have not been forgotten and that will never be the case for those that love you dearly. You are a true hero.

Bob Gordon
Father of Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

March 26, 2015

A Hero in Heaven, always remembered and never forgotten.

Kim Weigand Mom of Sgt. Mike Weigand
PA C.O.P.S.

March 23, 2015

Hey uncle jess,
Missing you a lot as always...think of you everyday...I work in easton now. About a block away from the police station.. And I always wonder how different it would be if you were still here...Its crazy to think about how long its been. I just wish you knew how much we all still miss and love you! But until we meet again xoxo

Lexie Holzheimer

March 3, 2015

Happy Birthday, Jesse. You would be an olde 46 today ;-)

Love & miss you.

PoPs ☺

John Sollman
Father

December 4, 2014

To the family and friends of Officer Sollman,

Just know there are people out there that never met you but still consider you part of their family...you are thought of and prayers go out to you all. May the good memories of Jesse carry you through the tough times. God bless.

Patrolman
East Brunswick, NJ

November 24, 2014

Hey Jes ~

It’s been a while since I left a reflection on here, but I do still come on often to see if there are any new ones and to read through the old ones. Some days I will spend hours starting at the very beginning and will read through to the end. It’s like a diary, really. A documentation of my journey over the past 9 years. And while it is extremely emotional for me to go back to the beginning and to revisit those very dark and lonely places - at the same time it is incredibly cathartic because it reminds me of how far I have come, how much I have been through and how much I have grown. It’s really hard to believe you’ve been gone 9 years, that is such a long time. But I feel like reading through the reflections helps to make those 9 years not seem as long, helps to bridge the gap between my old life and my new one and helps to keep you close to me.

The anniversary of your EOW is still very painful for me, Jes. I really thought that as time went on, it would get easier but it really hasn’t. It’s like my heart knows what day it is before I even wake up and the sadness is just overwhelming. All of the awfulness of that day just hits me and my brain is just jumbled with so many thoughts. Thoughts of you that morning walking out of the bedroom, leaving for work. Thoughts of our last conversation at lunchtime. Thoughts of when I found out you’d been shot and the horrible few hours afterwards. Thoughts of seeing you in the hospital. Thoughts of going home that night and walking in the house alone, knowing how much my life had changed and that you would never be coming home again. Thoughts of laying in bed with the kids, wondering how I was ever going to tell them that their daddy was gone.

So many, many thoughts. It makes my stomach hurt and my eyes burn just thinking about it all now.

From the moment you died, Jes, every decision I’ve made has been with the kids’ best interests at heart - I’m sure you know that. I’ve really tried to be a good mother to them, and it wasn’t always easy but overall I think I’ve done a good job. I do have to apologize to you, though, because I let some bad people into our lives. I always thought I was a good judge of character, but in the first few years after you died I definetly made some bad decisions. There were a few people who I allowed into our lives who were nothing short of evil, who disguised themselves as your friend, who pretended to be concerned and caring but the truth is they were only there for their own benefit. They took advantage of the situation, of me, and of the kids. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally forgiven myself for allowing these people into our lives - they caused nothing but chaos, confusion and pain. I realize now that they were nothing more than opportunists without a moral compass who preyed on my vulnerability, grief and loneliness. Hindsight has given me clarity and I see them now for the despicable people that they truly are, and I am so very sorry I ever let them into our lives.

Our lives have only gotten better over the past few years. Starting in early 2009 things really turned around for us - it was like the storm clouds were finally passing and I could see the light at the end of the very long tunnel I’d been in since you died. Questions I had began to be answered, things began to make sense to me again.......my life changed dramatically. I owe much of it to Michael - he came along at the most crucial time for me and the kids, and I am so grateful every single day that he is in our lives and I know you are able to rest in peace because he is here taking care of all the things you can’t. Of course you would rather be here yourself, living your life and raising your children, but I know in my heart that you sent Michael to us. He and I talk about the circumstances of us getting together and it sends chills down both our spines. There is no doubt in either of our minds that things now are the way they are supposed to be. Thank you, Jes. Thank you for looking out for us and taking such good care of us both when you were here, and after you were gone.

The kids are doing great. Savannah is finishing up her freshman year and Jake 6th grade. They are both on highest honor roll. Jake serves on student council as his Class Representative, he plays lacrosse and is learning to ride (and maybe someday race) motocross. Savannah is wicked smart and very interested in computers - she loves graphic design, and is also learning how to code. Within the next few months she should be able to develop her own server. She’s already looking into colleges and has plans to work for the CIA after graduation. I know you are so incredibly proud of both of them - they are really wonderful kids.

Losing you was hard on them, Jes. It left scars on their souls that can really never be healed.......it changed who they are, on the inside, and it breaks my heart. I would do anything to take it all away for them. But it also gave them strength, courage and a capacity for empathy that is way beyond their years. They both have a friend who lost their father this year, and they went out of their way to offer comfort and consolation - they both said that maybe one of the reasons you died was so that someday, they could help other people who are going through the same thing. They are truly amazing, and I am so very proud of them.

Of course I can never leave a reflection without mentioning your friends, and how your loss continues to impact them. They remain loyal and true to you, Jes, and they honor you on your EOW the same way every year. I’m sure you know this - and I’m sure you are with them.

I’m sure you are with all of us who love you. You memory lives on in so many ways. I love to come on here and see reflections from the same people as well as from new ones - it means you continue to touch people. You’ve been gone 9 years and yet you are still having an impact on people’s lives - that is an incredible legacy!!

Please continue to watch over us. And I promise you that no matter how much time passes, I will always love you, always miss you and will always come here to read your reflections and remember you - your life and your legacy. I will forever be the guardian of your memory, Jes, and you will never be forgotten.

Always and Forever,
Carin

Carin (Sollman) Radogna
widow

May 7, 2014

I was thinking about you (Jesse) and your family, I do very often. I then came across "Reflections." Watching over me and your brothers again!! Huh? I never had the chance to thank you from the deepest part of my heart. Thank you for watching over me and especially your brothers! Your smile made everyone else smile, which gave everyone around you a feeling of peace and comfort! Thank you so much for that!

Carin, I want you to know that you are an inspiration! I have read a lot of your reflections. I know Jesse reads every single one! I want you to know, even on a bad day, that your inspiration, strength, and love truly touches so many of us! I am sure your children helped in so many ways! Just a smile, a hug, I love you,...They help us keep going in so many ways!

Jesse, it is never the "End of Watch" I know you will always be watching!!

I will always love you brother!!

Anonymous
Friend

April 20, 2014

You will always be deep in my heart!! Thank you so much for all of your help and looking out for me on the street! Your family is in my prayers!

EMT Carin
EMS

April 19, 2014

Jesse,

I can't believe it has been 9 years. I think about you a lot and wish things could have been different. There have been so many times where there have been situations where I have wished you were still here to help out.

You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. And don't you worry because with all your Mom has been through she is still tough as nails and doing fine.

I come to this page often and read the reflections and think about you.

You are missed more than you will ever know.

S.O. Antoinette Hartman
Somerset County Sheriff's Office

March 25, 2014

Dear Jesse,

Another Bad Friday has arrived. Your old man misses you every day. Your years with him at 64-07 were his happiest even though living together in that small apartment was a challenge at times.

Please continue to keep a watchful eye on PoPs. He needs you now more than ever.

Love to both my dudes!

Betty
Father's Wife

March 25, 2014

It has been 9 years since you were called away and your memory is still carried in the hearts of those that love and miss you dearly. Continue to keep watch over all of them.
You will never be forgotten.

"A raindrop landing on your cheek
Is a Kiss from someone that lives in Heaven
And is watching over you."

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

March 24, 2014

Jesse, it has been awhile, but you are certainly in our thoughts today, as all the times we think about Carin and the kids, and the weber grills and the number 56 (you'd be surprised how often that number shows up, weird) so while I may not come as often as I did, you have never been forgotten Jesse. You have missed so much, but know the kids are amazing, Carin is an amazing mom, you married a great woman Jesse, and know that you are thought of, and remembered, you always will be. in our thoughts forever . . .

Easton PD Wife

March 25, 2013

Carin,

I was reading through old posts on my husband's page and came across yours. I wish I would have replied sooner. As you know, grief is a lonely beast. It is difficult to reach out when you feel you have nothing left to give. I want to thank you for the kind words that you left. I am humbled that my words touched you. I have read your husband's page, and I see so many similarities in what you have written. My fervent hope is that as the years have passed, you are happier than you expected, and that your memories bring you solace. I am sure that Jesse is so incredibly proud of you and your journey of living, loving, and remembering. God bless.

Yvonne Sawyers-Swanson
Wife, Mark Sawyers EOW 6/5/04

January 12, 2013

Jes,

Merry Christmas, thinking about you as always.
Im very sorry that you have missed yet another Christmas.

Mike

Mike

December 28, 2012

Hey dude, Happy Birthday!!

I think about you every day and …

PoPs :-)
Father

December 4, 2012

Hey Jes ~

You've been gone over 7 years now.

7 years is a very long time - too long, because I realized some troubling things over the past few weeks. I realized that I can't remember the sound of your voice anymore, at least not like I used to. And I can't remember what you smelled like, or the feel of your hand on mine. I can't remember all the details of your face, or what it sounded like when you laughed. So many things that were so familiar to me 7 years ago are just fading away.....

Time is both a gift and a thief. Time has allowed my heart to heal and dulled the pain of losing you. But time has also blurred the edges of my memories, taking away so many details of you and of our life together. I wish so much you were still here, Jes, living and enjoying your life, your friends and your family. Everyone still misses you, and sometimes the wounds seem as fresh as they were 7 years ago.

Yes, 7 years is a very long time. But it’s still just the beginning of all the things you are missing and will continue to miss. Your life was stolen from you, and no matter how many years go by…..7, 10, 20......it will never stop being wrong and unfair, and it will never stop breaking my heart. But although many of the details are getting difficult to recall, YOU – and the sacrifice you made - will never be forgotten.

You are always on our minds and in our hearts, Jes. Happy anniversary in Heaven.
Always and Forever,
Carin

Carin E. (Sollman) Radogna
surviving spouse

April 30, 2012

Another year has passed and it is time to once again leave a reflection to say that your memory will always be honored and revered. You have been missed every day of the last seven years. So many of our lives were altered forever in the year 2005...many of us then started on this same journey as a police survivor.

I am sure you continue to watch ovrr Carin and your son and daughter, and I know you feel joy when they feel joy and sorrow when they feel sorrow. Your precious love for them will always be there to sustain them. they are all in my heart's embrace today.

Semper fi and rest easy, my friend.

Phyllis Loya
Mom of fallen California Officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD, eow 4/24/05

March 25, 2012

Once again the anniversary of you being called away has arrived. I know there have been many thoughts of "what if" and one can go crazy doing that, but we all do it. Keep watch over your loved ones and keep them safe as they continue on lifes path. You will never be forgotten.

Just as the Proverb says: "Good men must die; but death cannot kill their names."

Bob Gordon :(
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

March 25, 2012

Jesse, tomorrow will mark the 7th anniversary since you were accidentally shot and killed. Wow, time has a way of a whole lot, healing wounds for one, allowing those who were impacted by your life to pick up and move forward for another, but it also gives us all the opportunity of reflection, and no doubt you are reflected on, your spunky spirit is remembered by so many. Your death came too early, to a young man with young children, just figuring out life. I will never forget that day, and I will never forget the ultimate sacrifice you paid, and we, as a family, will never forget you.

Easton PD Wife

March 24, 2012

Thinking of you and all of your loved ones on this very blessed holiday. You have not been forgotten. Continue to keep watch over those two beautiful children.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

December 24, 2011

Hey Jes ~

It's hard to believe that Christmas is here already, this year has really flown by. Jacob has been asking all kinds of questions about Santa (like does he shop at Walmart, because there were barcodes on his presents last year), so Michael and I decided to tell him the truth. He was a little teary initially, but since then he's been fine. Savannah finally confessed that she knew several years ago that Santa wasn't real, but didn't want to say anything because she was afraid she wouldn't get as many presents!! She's pretty slick. I'm just glad she didn't spoil it for her brother.

So this is a different Christmas for us this year - some of the magic and wonder is gone, now that they don't believe in Santa anymore. But it's alright.....we are filling our holiday with new family traditions that we can continue with the kids even after they are grown.

And they will be grown before we know it - Jacob will be 10 next month (no more single digits!!) and Savannah will be 13 in January. THIRTEEN!! I will be the mother of a teenager!! They are both such wonderful and amazing kids Jes, I know you are so proud of both of them. Just wish you could be here to tell them yourself.

Have a very Merry Christmas in Heaven, Jes.
Always and Forever,
Carin

Carin E. (Sollman) Radogna
surviving spouse

December 24, 2011

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