Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Mark,

I was driving to work yesterday and I heard this song. I wondered why I hadn't heard it before. It reminds me of those long days, weeks and years Yvonne has had to endure. It reminds me of how I saw "you" sitting at the computer in the elevator lobby at the station doing a report a few weeks after you died. It was actually a new hire, but I watched for a moment because I wanted to believe.

I went to Target last week. The painted "76" has withstood the rains of our summer. I hope when people pass by there they remember your sacrifice. Yvonne and I have talked about how she cannot shop there. She doesn't even pull into that complex except for the annual memorial. Ironically, that is the only Target that I care to enter. I feel like I am honoring you somehow. Maybe its because you consume my thoughts from the moment I pull into the lot until the moment I leave. I don't know...It's difficult to explain. Just know that you live on in all of us Sawyers. You are dearly missed.

"You're Still Here"
Faith Hill

Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away
And I know it couldn't be
But my heart believed
Oh it seems like there's something everyday
How could you be so far away
When you're still here
When I need you you're not hard to find
You're still here
I can see you in my baby's eyes
And I laugh and cry
You're still here

I had a dream last night
That you came to me on silver wings
And I flew away with you on a painted sky
And I woke up wondering what was real
Is what you see and touch or what you feel
'Cause you're still here
Oh you're everywhere we've ever been
You're still here

I heard you in a strangers laugh
And I hung around to hear him laugh again
Just once again
Thought I saw you today
You were standing in the sun then you turned away....

Kathy
SHPD

September 12, 2008

Dear Mark,

I have been thinking about you a lot today. Two Warren officers were shot Monday and thank God they are going to be okay. I have three Social Studies classes this year and I am trying to share with them what happened but it is still hard for me to talk about it. It is just so unfair. You were such a good kid, husband and father. I still want to know why.
Anyways I love and miss you.

Love Mom

Anonymous

September 10, 2008

Dear Mark,

I had taken Lily into a store with me over the Labor Day holiday. While at the register, she says out of the blue "I am a policeman's daughter!" The sales lady said "I bet he is really busy working this weekend." Lily answers that no, her daddy Mark is in heaven. The poor lady didn't know what to say after that. I briefly said you had died in the line of duty. But Lily, being the conversationalist she is, continued talking about you and asking the lady if she knew her daddy Mark. The poor woman started to stammer, and I told Lily that Sterling Heights is far away from this store so they probably don't know about your daddy. It made me wonder if she will always be able to openly talk about you, even beyond the age of childhood innocence. I certainly hope so.

Rest peacefully Mark,

Diane
Mother-in-law

September 4, 2008

Dear Mark,

Last weekend was Steve's golf outing. There were a couple of teams from SHPH and a bunch of your friends also played. Kyle won almost two hundred dollars for the skins (whatever that is) and Alexis won a M3 player, bag chairs and a flat screen tv. Lily won golf balls and a shirt. We had a great time and Steve donates the profits to MI-COPS. Everyone partied afterwards too (as usual). I kept Lily and Alexis overnight. They swam Saturday morning and then we met up with Michelle and Yvonne to get them back to their moms. Your co-workers and friends are so kind to participate in this annual golf outing. I really appreciate everyone taking the time and spending the money to participate in this great event that Steve does a great job of putting on every year.
Summer is just about gone. I can believe it, I keep wishing I could wake up and you would be here. I miss and love you.

Love Mom

Anonymous

August 26, 2008

Hi Mark,

The golf outing was a huge success as usual! It was a hot one, but NO RAIN THIS YEAR!! Thanks for that!! Merpi and I laughed at one point when it looked like it may pour. We joked that you must be playing tricks up there because it is always very windy during the candlelight vigil and it usually always rains at the golf outing!! I tried to help Lily "chip" a ball onto the green. I dont know what I was thinking because thats not my strong suit. Naturally, the ball didnt make it of course. I asked her if she wanted to try putting....."No, I just wanted to hit ONE time" she said. I dont blame her!! She is just adorable! She's quickly growing into a beautiful young lady!

Rest peacefully Mark

Kathy

Dispatcher, SHPD

August 23, 2008

Dear Mark,

Last week was the Wouters/Sawyers Police Softball Tournament.
There were teams from all over. I talked with a guy from the Blue Grass Law Men. He was a cousin to Les Taylor from Exile. He even gave me a team shirt for Dad. I also talked with a guy from Minnesota that was really nice. Yvonne was too chicken to catch the first pitch thrown by Hank Wouters so I had to catch it. I did not have a glove since I did not know until the last minute but I caught it. (thanks for the help). You know I am not real athletic but I try.
Friday is the golf outing. I am meeting Yvonne and Lily at the course. Michelle is helping Steve run it so she will already by there. Steve donates the proceeds to MI-COPS which I am a part of. It is a terrific support group. Funny I never heard of them until 2004. School starts soon. This is the first year that I am not excited to return to school. I guess that is because I am teach sixth grade now and they are a lot different from third graders. Lily is very excited to start Kindergarten. She will attend the afternoon session and Yvonne's Dad will get her off everyday with Yvonne picking her up.
Well I better get ready for the golf outing. It will be a late night.
(Tell Mike hello)
I love and miss you.

Love Mom

Anonymous

August 22, 2008

Mark, I recently received an email of a very nice poem that I wanted to copy here. While this particular daddy was a soldier, the situation reminded me so much of yours and with having Lily, I just had to copy it. It brought tears to my eyes as I read this. We were out at the cemetery on the anniversary of my mom’s death and we stopped by to see you. Den started playing softball with some different friends and underneath his t-shirt jersey, he said he had to wear his orange undershirt “for Mark.” We are always thinking of you and your family.


Daddy's Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
Her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
And she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her,
that she probably should stay home
Why the kids might not understand,
If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
She knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
Of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
For her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
She tried to keep her daughter home..

But the little girl went to school
Eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called
A student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
Every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
A man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'
She heard a boy call out.
'She probably doesn't have one,'
Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
'Looks like another deadbeat dad,
Too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,
As she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,
Slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
Came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,
Because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories
He taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
And ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart'

With that, her little hand reached up,
And lay across her chest.
Feeling her own heartbeat,
Beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere there in the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.
Proudly watching her daughter,
Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love
Of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
But its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,
He’s my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
But heaven's just too far.

You see he is a Marine
and died just this past year
When a roadside bomb hit his convoy
And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
It’s like he never went away.'
And then she closed her eyes,
And saw him there that day.

And to her mother's amazement,
She witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
Who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
They saw him at her side.

I know you're with me Daddy,'
To the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
Was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
That heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time...to live and love.
Until eternity.

Jen Brozowski

August 22, 2008

Mark

I am a retired police officer from Iowa now living in Florida, and we have never met. I read your ODMP a few weeks ago and have not been able to get you out of my mind. You were only doing what I had done a thousand times the many years that I worked midnights, something all officers have done before and after MDT's were installed in police vehicles. Anyway after reading your story and pondering I decided to get back into some sort of Law Enforcement, and you helped me make up my mind. I thought about dispatching, but that is a tough job with little or no recognition that they deserve, but have decided to get back into forensics, what I was doing before I retired. Thank You for you help. Keep a close watch on your daughter, and help her answer those tough questions she has now and in the future. Also keep a close eye on your family and give them a sign to understand. So until someday we can 10-25, rest easy, you will not be forgotten.

Lily

I know you were young when your father was taken away, but with the help of your fathers family and friends they will help keep your fathers memory alive in your heart. Also I want you to remember that there are going to be times when you will smell a familar scent, feel a touch on your face, or hear a familar voice, and deep in your heart this will be your father letting you know that he is there watching over you being your guardian angel. Just remember that as long as you have your father in your heart he will never be forgotten.

Mark (Retired WPD)

August 20, 2008

Every time I see your picture on this page, which is almost daily, I still can't believe it.

Anonymous

August 19, 2008

Mark,

I thought about you a lot today, of all places, while in a dentist chair for 2 1/2 hrs. I starting out thinking it will be weird at home the next few nights as Steve is away on a motor cycle trip. I was wondering if I would be able to sleep with him gone. My thoughts then turned to the night you were taken from us, and how horrible it must have been for Yvonne to realize she would never cuddle next to you again. I remembered at the hospital that night how she had gotten a terrible migraine, and tried to sleep it off. I wondered if she dreamed that this was all just a horrible nightmarish dream, only to wake and find it indeed was very real.

Sleeping was a terrible time for many of us I am sure, only to wake up day after day and realize that losing you was no dream. Four years have passed and these feelings remain, and it still seems like a bad dream.

My wish is that when we do dream of you, it is with the fondest of memories, and with the realization that you are at peace.

Keep watching over those you love and those that love you.

Love Diane

Diane, Mother-in-law

August 11, 2008

I miss you Mark.

I honor you with all that I have.

I remember.

I will always remember.

SHPD

August 9, 2008

Mark, Thinking about you today. Just wanted to let you know you will NEVER be forgotten!
SHPD

FRIEND
SHPD

August 4, 2008

We got a big night comin up Monday and I know you will be there. Its the kind of night that you and I often talked about and looked forward too. I will be thinkin about you as I always do, probly a little more than normal. The tears still come most every week and this week will be no different. I will be visiting your gravesite on Tuesday and I will be bringing gifts, just not sure which one, help us get the big one

Anonymous

August 1, 2008

Dear Mark,
The summer is half gone and I don't know where it went but anyways I had Lily last weekend and she was darling as usual. We took her to the MI-COPS picnic. She swam with a ton of kids in Andrea's pool (Scotty Stewart's sister). She went down the slide with armies on and a round ring around her to hold her up so her face didn't go under. She loved it.
I talked to her about going to kindergarten in the fall. I told her that it is really important to listen when the teacher is talking and to be real quiet because the teacher would be explaining how to do the work she would be doing. Lily said "but Grandma, I can talk and listen at the same time". Isn't that hilarious. That's Lily for you. She has a question about everything and usually an answer too. She sleeps with me when she spends the night and sleeps right in the middle refusing to budge so I have to sleep on 1/4 of the bed. She stays pretty much in one spot and doesn't toss and turn much. She sleeps flat on her back like you always did. I never could sleep on my back.
We went to Michelle's for my birthday and Yvonne brought the kids out. We swam and had chicken and had a great time. Lily and I walked down to Dean's and I showed her the beach he put in complete with sand and palm trees. I don't think the palm trees are going to make it but Lily enjoyed the sand.
Dad and I are going to KY this Friday. I will leave him in Corbin and go visit Pam in Georgia for a couple of days and then pick him up on my way back.
I am thinking about a new car and sure wish you could research it for me. Maybe a little sign will have to do.
Well that's it for now.
I love and miss you so much. In some ways it seems like just yesterday I saw you and other times it seems like forever. It doesn't get any better, that's for sure.

Love MOM

Anonymous

July 22, 2008

Officer Sawyers, Thank you for your service. Please watch over us.

Deputy Shevock
Jackson County Sheriff's Office

July 13, 2008

Dear Daddy,

Grandma is helping me type this but I will type the last part myself. I saw Kyle play baseball last night. Kyle is a good pitcher and catcher. I spent the night with Grandma. We went swimming. Today a friend of Grandma's is coming over with her two grandkids to swim with me and go to the park. The pool better be warm. The heater is on. We are going to order pizza for lunch
i love you daddy Lily altbrc.gleoiwjdlglyorjdjdjf

Dear Mark,
Lily is waltzing around the room singing I use to be a star and she is dancing and watching herself in the mirror. She is so funny. Now is she looking over all my "Mark stuff" is the computer room. There are pictures, ornanments, plagues, angels, candles, flags, certificates from the governor, etc. She is asking me what some of it or means. She just said everyone has Daddy in their heart. She is so smart.
Well she wants to get ready for the pool so I better go.

I love and miss you.

Love Mom

June 30, 2008

Dear Mark,

Just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you and Yvonne all day this past Tuesday, the 24th of June, what would have (and should have) been your 8th wedding anniversary. I wanted to call her to tell her I was thinking of her (and you) but am always fearful of darkening her day more than it probably already was. Her and I talked about this just last night. It is a double edged sword, remembering, sharing, and hurting over something that was so beautiful and intended to last a lifetime between two people who were so incredibly in love.

I still remember how happy the both of you were on that day. Yvonne looked so stunningly beautiful, and you looked a little nervous waiting for her at the alter. I will never forget the look on your face when she walked towards you down the isle. You were beaming with love and pride. I also thought how she was no longer my baby, but a mature married woman. But you know what? Like my two daughters before her, she will always be my baby, and I will always be there for all of them.

Take care, and let your love for Yvonne and Lily shine through even the darkest of clouds.

Diane, Mother-in-law

June 27, 2008

lily i love you daddy mark i miss you alot xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

June 26, 2008

Mark,

Lily got her puppy for her birthday. She got a small shih-tzu she named Princess. She still has a lot to learn about how to be gentle with a puppy. Poor dog. But she loves playing with her. The first couple of days she kept trying to carry her around everywhere. She even put her in her toy shopping cart and pushed her around. Then I went outside and she was sitting in her pink corvette with Princess next to her in the seat!

Her birthday party was fun. She loved the big slide at the bounce house. She got alot of Webkinz, Hannah Montana, and High School Musical stuff. Matt and I bought her a Nintendo DS. She is really enjoying that. I didn't think it would be that hard to play, but alot of the games you have to read the screen for the directions, so we still have to help her alot.

I found myself wondering on her birthday what you would be doing. Would you be bouncing in the bounce house stuff playing the gladiator with Michelle and Kyle? Would you go down the slide with Lily? Or would you be standing back observing it all? I thought about how much she likes video games, as you did, and would you enjoy playing them with her or get frustrated?

It is hard to believe she is five years old now. I still remember the day she was born like yesterday. You were playing softball. I had to call you home because my water broke. I have so many wonderful memories of you and her during her first year. I don't think you quite knew what to do those first few months. But you quickly adjusted to life with a baby and all it entailed. You became the one who could get her to go down for a nap. You found your own special way of rocking her to sleep in the middle of the night. Lily loves when I tell her the story of how you mismatched her clothes. The yellow outfit with pink socks! I had to leave out clothes for her to make sure you dressed her in matching stuff.

Right now she is in summer enrichment classes. This week was Hannah Montana class. Today she had to dress as her. I found a sequin black tank top of mine to let her wear, a blue jean skirt of hers, and some of my sparkly jewelry. She was so funny, looking in the mirror at herself and singing. I put a little lipgloss on her, too.

Father's Day I let Lily pick out flowers for the cemetery. She picked out orange roses because she knew that was a favorite color of yours. They were very pretty. I hope you saw the card I left you. It was one I bought four years ago, and never had the opportunity to give it to you. I found it and decided to leave it there. We blew some bubble kisses for you. I hope you caught them.

Our eight year wedding anniversay was on Tuesday the 24th. It was a tough one because now the same amount of time we were married is the length of time you have been gone. Four years was too short to be married and too long to be apart. Those four years of marriage flew by. I went to the cemetery by myself while Lily was in class. I left you red roses and a mixed bouquet that had one Lily in it. I sat there next to your marker and cried. I hope you heard all of the things I said to you. I was hoping for some sign from you. I had a hard time leaving, but I had to pick Lily up.

Our anniversary is tough for me. I feel like no one remembers it to say anything. But why should they? An anniversary is for two people to remember and celebrate. So I feel pretty alone on ours, as you are not here to share it with. I hate that I can only leave you flowers. I hate that I have to wonder what our eighth anniversary would be like. It is hard to accept that I can not finish that journey of my life.

I went upstairs a few days ago to look through your things. It makes me feel closer to you to look at them. I was quite upset to find that your watch has stopped working finally. I knew that it would be a bad time for me. Upset really isn't the word to describe it. I sat on the floor sobbing. Your watch was the last part of you that worked or seemed alive that I had left. As crazy as that is, I felt like I still had some tiny little piece of you. When I saw that blank face, I felt like the last vestige I had of you slipped through my fingers. It broke my heart.

I found your Beecher Junior High Yearbook yesterday. I was showing Lily your pictures. I was so suprised when I saw your football picture. You number in seventh grade was 10. The same as Lily's soccer number! That made me smile. Lily thought it was funny to look at your school pictures. She really liked that.

Today Lily said she is going to be the President when she grows up. But just on Fridays. Monday she is going to be a doctor. Wednesday a farmer. Tuesdays and Thursdays are her days off! She cracks me up. We were saying our prayers the other night and she always makes me say mine first. I was saying "God bless ... and ..." naming different people. She looked at me in all seriousness and said "you better pray for yourself, baby!" She also said a prayer for her 'boyfriend' Jack, a boy in her preschool class that she likes. We sure have our hands full with her!

I better go, Lily wants to write on here too. I love you so much and miss you. Happy Father's Day and Happy Anniversary, baby. I just wish I could tell you in person.

Yvonne
xoxoxo

June 26, 2008

Mark, please show Mike the ropes up there. He left us too soon but I know you will help him out. We are all still in shock, trying to understand... Saginaw lost a great hero, a great friend, and a great man. Please show him around those golden streets.

June 23, 2008

Dear Mark,

You little girl turned five years old this week. She is the sweetest girl(must have got that from me). She loves to tak and tells everything she knows which can sometimes be embarrasing for someone else. For instance she told her entire class at school (preschool) that her mom was breatfeeding her brother. She just thought it was something everyone needed to know. She had wonderful party at Pump It Up with her cousins and friends from school. She played with everyone and they all had a ball jumping on all the jumping things. I even jumped, climbed and slid down some of them. Lily got to sit in a big blow up throne chair and open her presents. She stood at the end and thanked everyone for coming and for the presents. She definitely could be a public speaker when she gets older. Anyways, your baby is growing up and doing it fast. She idolizes Alexis and wants to do everything Alexis does. Diane told me that when Steve gave Lily and coin to throw into the pond that has you name above it at the SHPD Lily wished that she and Alexis could be princesses. I told Dad on the way home that what sge doesn't know is that they aleady aare princesses. Lily will go into kindergarten in the fall and she will be way above the other kids in language skills, experiences, and general knowledge of basic information. She is so far above other children in this area. I am not bragging just telling you that she is. I am sure she gets a lot of that from the gifts that you gave her when you were taken away from us. Yvonne is such a good mother too. And the man she married, Matt, is very good to Lily. He plays a lot with her and I think he is doing a good job. You know that is the main thing for me. Lily has to be happy and she is. She was very young when you were taken and does not understand what happened. This is the part that I can't do. It hurst so much that you are not here. I want to see and talk to you. I want to tell you how much of a good person you are and what a hero you are to everyone. You had a lot of friends that are so great. I still see a lot of them. Mike's sister and family always come to anything we do in your memory/honor. They have been so supportive and I know that they are in the same pain we are. I hope you are able to help Mike cope and that you are having a good time together play disc golf and chewing together. I have so many good, some not so good but funny stories about you childhood. We did a lot and went a lot of places together. I am so glad that we were able to do all that. It was never enough but I do have the memories and pictures too. Well it's getting to hard to go on so I will close and tell you I love and miss you so much. I still feel like I am just making it on a day to day basis but I am making it and that is the important thing. It just hurts so bad is not fair but ....
I love you and always will.


Love Mom

June 22, 2008

Happy Father's Day Mark. We all know that you were and still are a great father to Lily. Watching over her, and keeping her safe. Rest in Peace.

Andrea Mitchell(Mosher)&Family

June 15, 2008

Happy Fathers Day in Heaven Mark!!

SHPD

June 15, 2008

Dear Mark,
Thinking of you and Lily today, Father's Day, and how you should be here with her. I know she is in your heart, and you are in hers, and that is the only comfort we can hold on to today.
Diane

June 15, 2008

...Never Forgotten...

Bay City Police

June 6, 2008