Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

It was a nice day today...the sun was out and it wasn't too cold. I went to see you and there were flowers from Renata and Isabella that still looked beautiful after a week! Miss you very much....always thinking of you and will never forget you....

February 22, 2006

My dearest cousin,
I think about you all the time especially during trying times at the academy. The halfway mark has come and gone for the 210 with only fourteen weeks left. Some of the most diffcult events are coming up soon. I hope that God with give me the strength to continue to fight during such challenging time.

About a month ago, Derrick and Barry were at the academy for training. I can't tell you how embrassed I was wearing that light blue recruit uniform. Both Derrick and Barry wore smiles across their faces as soon as I appeared in the doorway. I am proud and honored to be apart of SFPD and at the academy. Most importantly, I am proud that you were cousin. You were an incredible human being loved, cherished, admired, and respected by many. I love you.

Cousin KC

February 20, 2006

Dave came home this morning and said it was a crazy night last night. He said there was a shooting at a SF nightclub, and every avail cop in SF was called to the scene. Its scary Iz. Please remind them to always request back-up, and remind them of the what if's.......

You taught me alot Iz. You taught me what a real man was, and you even gave me one to call my own. Now, I thank God everyday when Dave comes home because I know tomorrow is not certain. If it weren't for you, I may have taken love for granted but I don't......I never will.

Cousin

February 19, 2006

Iz,
Your cousin's special day came and went, but with your spirit woven in every second of it. I thought of you throughout the day, especially through hilarious moments wondering if you were laughing too. I'm almost positive you were. It's very hard to be around your family and not think of you. You were a shining light and a thunder of laughter. I miss your smile, jokes, and comforting spirit. We all miss you very much.

February 17, 2006

Yes, you were there with us at the wedding and all of us missed you, we could not forgot you, and will never forget you. Looking at the wedding party I noticed you were missing, because I know you would of been up there with all the ushers.

You would of been proud because your cousin Adele honored you in everyway she could. I could see her holding back her tears everytime your name was mentioned. In fact I too had to hold back my tears everytime your name was metioned.

Your family misses you, we honor you, we love you, I love you, Auntie

February 16, 2006

Iz, you would of been so proud of your cousin(s), but I know you were there with us the entire day, we felt your spirt with us. The whole day was as Auntie called it, Bitter Sweet, one min we were laughing, one min, crying, and it was because of you the wedding couple had reunited after so many years. It was because of you, that we had the strength to laugh, sing, dance and love each other even more dearly on this day. Yes we miss you, and that will never change. Every time you name was mentioned it set us into tears, but the blooper was too funny and broke the ice for the whole church. I bet you had a hand in that too, you jokester, if not you were up there craking up. They day could of only been more perfect if you were there in body vs. spirit. No matter where we go, what we do, we carry you in our hearts! Love Always,

Big Cousin

February 15, 2006

Thinking about you with much love. Mom

February 14, 2006

"Try to be at peace with everyone, and try to live a holy life, because no one will see the Lord without it." HEBREWS 12 Isaac, you see the Lord! Bless you brother...may your family and friends feel your love on this day, and everyday.

bayview-mids
sfpd

February 14, 2006

I loved you not for your look
but for the beauty you held within
I loved you not for your eyes
but for the flickering light that shined inside
I loved you not for your smile
but for the meaning it contained
I loved you not for your words
but for the meaning behind them
I love you today
but not as much as tomorrow
I loved you for those loving moments that came in times of silence.....
long quiet walks, hand in hand...
doing things for each other...
or simply holding each other close
So when I said I love you, it was more than just words....
It was something I did with every breath I took, every beat of my heart...
because you were the only one in this whole wide world for me...

I loved you in so many ways that there were no words to explain
But most of all I loved you
for just the way you were.

I love you Isaac, Always have, Always will..

Happy Valentine's Day!

Renata

February 14, 2006

Zak,
I saw a personalized license plate yesterday and thought of u, it was: 64ANGL (64 Angel). How appropriate...we miss u! -Patty

bayview officer
sfpd

February 13, 2006

Officer Isaac Espinoza, May God Bless You and Your Family. Thank you for keeping all of us safe. We think about you often. You are in our thoughts and our prayers.

Corrections Officer Jimmy Ratel, P# 5392
Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Dept.

February 12, 2006

Hi Isaac,

It’s been a while since I’ve written. In fact it was Christmas Eve. Once again it’s another tough year for me. In the past 5 years I’ve gone through a divorce, I lost my brother, and this year I lost my mother. Its tough loosing loved ones. I still can’t imagine the feelings Renata is going through. I continue to look at your reflections to update myself in the progress of your family. I will continue to pray for their comfort.

You continue to inspire me. Your family inspires me. Continue to watch over Class 12!

Thank you Isaac and God Bless you and your Family.

Ray Valeros

February 10, 2006

I miss you Isaac. I miss your laugh, your smile, your handsome face. I miss seeing you sit with Renata and seeing how happy you were when you were with her. I miss seeing you hold Bella and how proud you were when she was in your arms. I miss how you would hug everyone when you would walk into the room. I miss how you would brighten up a room. I miss your positive outlook on life. I miss your outspoken drive for your job. I miss your stories. I miss you driving by by the house.............. I miss you!

Cousin

February 6, 2006

As i sit here and read your reflections icannot help but to embrace my children,family,surroundings.It breaks my heart that our worlrd is so corrupted.i cant help but to be angry for what has occured.I Wish that everyone had acces to this site so that lives can be inspired the way that you have inspired all of ours.You are alegacy ISSAC.I hope that one day you will be reunited with those who love you.Renata and the rest of the espinoza family keep your heads up.Issac is with all of you.....god bless

February 6, 2006

You and Renata were in my dreams last night and it was so real, your little jokes and pranks were very much welcomed, it was wonderful, even John Gighia (remember him)was in my dreams, I just wish it would happen more often. It was a wonderful to have you in my dreams. You will always hold a part of our hearts. Sonia

February 3, 2006

Hi Son: I picked up Isabella from her kindergarten class today and was bringing her to my house. It was raining. I stopped at a stop light. I remembered when it was raining and I was picking you up from kindergarten. I stopped at the grocery store and my car stalled and I could not get it to go. I knew I had to pick you up from school. I left the car at the grocery store and started running to your school. You were walking up the long school block by yourself in the rain. You were carrying a poster picture you painted at school for me. You were all wet. Your face was wet. Your raincoat was not buttoned. Your picture was blowing in the wind. I started to cry. I told you how sorry I was for being late. I wiped your face, buttoned your coat and rolled up your picture and walked you home. I cried all the way. I was so frustrated and disappointed in myself. You were so cute and consoling. You kept telling me, "It's okay mom, it's okay, it's okay." I keep seeing your precious little face. I miss you son. I love you, Mom.

February 2, 2006

Last night RJ laid on the floor and shook his body all about! Like a fish out of water. It reminded me of when you were a kid, you did the same thing. I used to think it was wierd, and that you were just crazy. As a mother, I think its what you had to do, just like RJ has to.

February 1, 2006

ZAK-
We sat in your garden the other nite, how ironic that on this particular nite, one officer wore your b-ball hat and sweatshirt. Another officer walked in and said that it was his first time in the garden. I was mad at him at first, but from the look on his face, I understood why it was his first time. You mean sooo much to us, and know that you are still thought of and brought up often- and always will be. Your video is watched in the lunchroom, I can hear the music and know...no one looks away, their eyes focused on the screen. You always could hold an audience. Love you brother, and please take care of those who have gone before us. God bless, your sister in blue.

Ofc. Bayview Station
SFPD

February 1, 2006

DEAR ISSAC,I READ ALL YOUR THOUGHTS FROM EVERYONE AND I AM SAD.I COULDNT SLEEP THE OTHER NIGHT AFTE READING FOR TWO HOURS.YOU ARE MISSED SO MUCH.YOU MEANT SO MUCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE.EVERYPNE HAS A SPECIALEST FRIEND AND THE GODFATEHER TO MY GRANDAUGHTER ATHENA.YOU HELPED ME THAT DAY AT THE CHURCH ALOT.THE PAIN IS SO BAD YOU WERE LIKE A SON AND I MISS U IN OUR LIVES. LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.WATCH OVER US ISSAC AND TILL WE ALL MEET IN HEAVEN YOU ARE LOVED. MARIAN
MEMORY AND IT ALWAYS FEELS LIKE ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE.WE ALL MISS YOU VERY MUCH. I WISH YOU BOYS WERE4 SMALL AGAIN AND ALWAYS AT MY HOUSE.I CHERISH THOSE DAYS AND HOW SPECIAL U WERE TO MICHAEL. YOU WERE HIS BE. I COULNT

January 31, 2006

Today we hung out at my parents house and reminiced on when we first bought our house. We were laughing so hard just thinking on h0w da back yard gave us sooo much trouble. How you were determined on taking down the tree that was in the middle of the yard and how frustrated u got when the root was so deep u thought the tree was gonna have to stay there. I believe it took u two or three days but y0u did it and where so happy. My dad was talking about how u borrowed his weed wacker and burned the motor out. We were laughing so hard but at the same time we sat there wishin u were there. We talked about your determination to fix our house. My brother talked about the time u went down n hired x tra help (remember) he just smiled and remembered the good times u 2 shared. We miss you sooo much Isaac.

Bella made a beautiful drawing of you in between these two big green trees. She put glitter and sparkles all over it. She wrote to dad, from bella love. all by herself. You should see how good she is at reading n writing now. She is very creative and determined just like you were. She wants to bring her drawing to you. I told her that we could bring it to the cemetary and put it on ur headstone, but she said she wanted to tie it on a ballon and let it fly up 2 u. She has been talking so much about u lately. Remembering da good times she had with u. and asking me why u had to go up to heaven. She is so smart. She loves it when I tell her stories of you and her when she was a baby n how u used to take care of her. I see it in her eyes, it makes her happy. We will never stop talking about you, she will never forget u, she is you.

Two years are coming up and I wish time would just stand still for a minute while I catch my breath. It still feels like it was yesterday that u where here. Sometimes I wish I could just stop my brain from thinking about u every second of every day just so that my heart can stop hurting. At times I still go numb with disbelief and even though I wish I could move forward and forgive GOD for taking u away, I cant not yet! and it kills me inside.

I guess Im not really ready to accept the fact that you are not here, Maybe I never will.

Everything is so different inside me. N even though I feel like now that u r gone theres no purpose in my life......I take a deep breath and hold her tight.......

See you soon

January 29, 2006

dear issac, you are never forgotten.our lives have never been the same.we have spent just wonderful times with your family.you will never be forgotten.time doenst heal the pain.with our love always MARIAN AND FAMILY

January 28, 2006

Isaac,

I can still feel you here. Even though Class 12 is gone, you still grace our halls. I read through all of the reflections, especially from you mother and Renata and I feel their pain. No wonder you were such a remarkable person...you had awesome parents and an incredible wife who's love for you is out of this world!

I have Bella's picture up by my desk (Renata sent it to me)...I hope we can continue to see her grow, she has so much of your spirit inside of her.

Recently I exchanged an e-mail with your mother about feelings I had related to the punishment your assailant should face. She has helped me greatly with that and is so gracious. What a unique woman she is and I am truly blessed to know her, your father, sister and Renata. You and your family have changed my life and I will never take a day or time with my family for granted.

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

January 26, 2006

It's a been a really weird year so far, which doesn't sit right with me. I had some horrific news delivered to me today, and I started to cry over the death of another loved one.

Times like these always make me reflect on those that have left me all so suddenly. Years of pain that I have tried to supress and overcome rush back to me as if it never left. And in all honestly I don't know if it ever will.

In times of deep sorrow I think of you. In times of great joy I do the same. You are always on my mind and I take comfort in knowing you are keeping all of your brothers and sisters in blue safe. I appreciate it. And because of you I can sleep better at nights when I know my family is patrolling the streets. For that I will always be grateful.

In the midst of all the craziness in the world today I must thank you for keeping my family and friends safe, in and outside of the dept. I know you are looking down from heaven and being the lovely angel that you are. I just know.

God Bless you and your family always. Thank you for keeping me whole when times like these make me feel so torn.

January 22, 2006

ZAK-
The "Marines" of Co. C. rode together in Ofc. May's (a former Marine) funeral procession. At one point (I knew I shouldn't have driven), I almost ran into another patrol car because tears filled my eyes as we drove under the numerous overpasses- all lined with shiny red fire trucks and huge flowing American flags. We drove through the EPA community where tons of kids and adults lined both sides of the streets and saluted and put their hands over their hearts, and held homemade banners with scriptures of hope and apology for our loss. The support was enormous and honestly, unexpected. God must have a plan, for he is taking the best of the best, people we love and miss dearly. We love you Isaac, and think of you often. A co-worker's wife said that she had a dream about you smiling at her the day of her housewarming party. I told her that I thought that you were telling them how proud you were of them for buying their 1st home...Peace be with you and yours.

bayview officers
sfpd

January 22, 2006

Dearest Isaac,

I've been thinking about you so much lately. I'm so sorry that I didn't get to write you on Christmas, please know that I was thinking of you and missing you terribly. I will love you always.

"Your Little Carmen"

January 21, 2006