Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Happy Thanksgiving Isaac. I remember when we all used to get together at Popo's house. I miss those days! I remember the tables going out the door because our family got so big. Miss you cousin.

November 23, 2006

"Good Man"

I remember the first day I met you
we were so young
you were a blessing
and there was no guessing
you were the one
Love is so crazy
We had a baby
and said our vows
That's when you told me
should anything happen
I can hear you now
You told me

[Chorus:]
If the sun comes up, and I'm not home
be strong
If I'm not beside you, do your best to carry on
Tell the kids about me
when they're old enough to understand
tell them that their daddy was
a good man

First anniversary
remember we
chose a star
And as i stand under it
I can't help but wonder if
You see it where you are
For whatever reason
You don't see the seasons
Change again

Go there with peace of mind
We'll meet on the otherside
Cause true Love don't end
and baby

[Chorus]

Two eyes looking up at me
Pointing to a picture like where is he Mamma are you OK?
What did the paper say?
To make you cry that way?

It said your Daddy lived for you
and your daddy died for you
and I'll do the same


Renata, I bought the latest India Arie CD, and this song "Good Man" totally reminded me of you and Isaac. I started to cry thinking about Isaac and the both of you. I know he would want you to be happy. Love, A

November 22, 2006

Hey Isaac, Just wanted to stop bye and tell you that I think bout you all the time and I pray for all our family you know... your mom, dad,regina, nina, bella, my mom and dad...you know.... everyone. I pray because it is ssoon to be a ney year which means another year spent without you. It's still very hard and i'm not use to not having you around. But everyday you are in our conversations, hearts and mind. I want you to know i am writting something for you.

the babe is growing up so fast and she is JUST like you. Alwways playin tricks on people. SHe is smart and beautiful. Reminds me a lot of you! Ok well I got to go for now. Love ya always

Rudy

November 15, 2006

Isaac,
You are a daily reminder that we should not take anything for granted. I think of your family and you daily and lift all of you up in prayer. I wanted to tell you that you have yet influenced another Cadet from Class 12 to reach the goal of becoming a law enforcement officer.
On October 27th, I had the honor of pinning Deputy Eric Dunn's badge on his chest. He now has a star on his chest
to remind him daily of your courage. I know you will continue to inspire him to be the best Deputy he can be.
I have seen the reflections he leaves on your page and I know, he will never forget you...
He will do everything just like "Isaac Would"
Thank you for all you have done for Class 12, you will never be forgotten.

Blessings to all of your family and continue to watch over each and every day. I pray that God gives them strenght to carry on, just as you would want them to.

In Him,

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

November 15, 2006

ZAK-

I went to Palomar College in Escondido (near my old stomping grounds of Camp Pendleton) and had the opportunity to meet Shanon Dreyer and tour the vicinity. You would be so honored to see the "Hall of Warriors" painted in dark blue with a black stripe and you as the first warrior in memoriam, the next are Ofc. Zeppetella and Ofc. Lasater. There is a hand made wooden star with "64" on it, a photo collage of you/family/funeral services, and a huge blow-up of the "shadow" poster. The cadets, Shanon, and Damian Jackson did a wonderful job with much thought and heart put into your rememberance (thank-you). I was really speechless and needed time to myself, I'm so sorry you're gone...Blessed Vet's Day.

ofc. patty brown
sfpd, bayview mids

November 10, 2006

Zak-

I went to visit you and Birco on Halloween (of all days, I know...) after training. That was really hard Zak, I haven't been there since we buried Birco, I wasn't ready to go. We can't thank your family enough for allowing Birco to be with you, we miss you guys so much, your laughter echoing in the hallways- it was contagious.

Your hair never moved, haahaa, I finally told you that you had a hair out of place and you ran to the bathroom! I was just kidding. The first time I worked with you as partners was the same night the niners played, go figure. I was new to the district, but it was obvious that you trusted me to have your back, you said it was because I was a niner's fan and you later added, "...and also a Marine." I'm upset you're gone but thankful to have been there that night and joke with you about 30 min. prior. I wish I talked with you longer, who knows...We miss and love you Zak, take care of your family, give strength to Renata to do whatever she has to do and make the decisions that are best for her and Bella to get through each day.

Ofc. Brown, usmc
sfpd, bayview mids

November 4, 2006

I find myself up in the middle of the night thinking about you. Ever since you died I have not been able to sleep. and if by chance I do fall asleep cause my body is so exhasted from sleeples nights I wake up a little bit before 2:30 am everytime. I guess my body still waits for you to come home at that time. Dont know if I will ever be back to normal.

There at times that I feel strong and think okay I;m getting somewhere, other times I smile and feel happy. But there are days where all I want to do is cry, but I can't. I have to be strong for everyone. Today I feel too tired to be strong.

So many things have changed. Some good, some bad. There are times when I think am I doing or saying the right things? At times I feel like I let down everyone. I want to make everyone happy but I can't. I want to be happy and live my life but at times I feel like I can't and it;s hard cause then it makes me think of how oue lives would be different if you had'nt died. How everything would be okay.

The trial opens up so many wounds. I sit in court and listen to everything. Trying not to scream or cry. The anger that I had for so long starts to creep up and I have to fight it. I don't want to go back to that dark place, I won't. But at night when I lay in bed all the thoughts and words that I tried to hide come up. My head hurts.

I doubt myself and ask, will justice really be done? Is this ever going to end? There isn't a day where I don't think about you. I miss you. and still there are days where I think this is not real. It can't be.

I smile and laugh more. I'm happy. But there is still a little bit of fear in me. You know you will always be in my heart and soul. What would you want me to do is what I ask myself. and then I find some peace and I smile. Cause really nothing matters but me and my child.

I love you

November 3, 2006

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Someday I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I want to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so I'm afraid to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you


Heard this song the other day. Its about a girl loosing her father. It sent chills down my spine. All songs that talk about death send chills down my spine. This song hit home. I love you Isaac. Your cousin.

November 2, 2006

The trial has finally begun and each of us are forced to relive April 10, 2004; when Isaac was taken away from us to stand guard over the gates of heaven. I have visited your page so many times over the past 2+ years and wanted so much to leave a message to you and your family. I have kept your wife, daughter and immediately family in my prayers. I remember meeting your family and how they enveloped me and my spouse the eve before you burial. Even in their time of mourning such a loss with so much impact on thier lives, they enveloped us with love. I think about about all the love that surrounds every event tha thas been done in Rememberance of you. I stand by humbled and amazed at the strength Renata has shown to help her continue her walk without the love of her life. I wonder if I would have been able to have been as strong. In one night our lives are all forever intertwined. I remember upon my meeting with Renata telling her that our lifes from that moment on united us forever and beyond. Your family is our family.
Ecclesiates 4:9-10
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the other will lift up his companion."

Only through the grace of God have we found comfort in the impact that night has had on our lives. Isaac, we are all enduring and standing in the gap that your life was not in vain. Although, we never met it is through others memories of you that I feel that I knew you. Memories are such a powerful tool in keeping your spirit alive in all that knew you.

"Shared Sorrow reduces the pain when you have a shoulder to cry on"

Espinoza family our sorry is shared and we will lean on eath other in order to keep Isaac alive in our hearts and mind. We love the Espinoza family and our lives are forever entertwined.

Officers Wife

October 31, 2006

Now that your murder trial has started all these old feelings are starting to resurface and I miss you so much. There are no words to describe how I feel right now.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

I'll love you always.

Your "Little Carmen"
Friend

October 25, 2006

To Isaac's family,

I know how hard the trial must be for all of you. Just know that there are so many people thinking of you all. Such a precious life was taken and I'm so sorry for your loss. Isaac will never be forgotten.

Wife of a fallen officer

October 21, 2006

Im keeping up to date on your trial, and I just cannot hold back my tears as I read on, sometimes I dont want to know because it makes me angry, I cannot even imagine what your parents, sister and Renata are going through, its not fair. We keep you and your family in our prayers. You will always hold a very especial place in our hearts. We miss you dearly, Isaac.

Sonia

October 20, 2006

I went on a road trip with some friends and told the driver I was going to sleep and to watch me. The driver asked what I meant, I told him I still have nightmares from that night and if I wake up screaming, not to be afraid and just wake me up. Isaac, no one can wake you up...More than one life was taken that night, our families and officers will never be the same. Say your prayers, remember to stay strong, and do what you have to do to get through each day. We love you Isaac, we love you.

October 19, 2006

Isaac,

I know i haven't written to you in a long time but its still so hard. I know that you are well taken care of up there in heaven in paradise and i praise God for it. The other night I had a dream. I dreamt that the family was at your home and that you came. You were out side and you pointed to a tree that was planted in the front yard. I don't remember much about the dream but I do remember and will never forget how i felt when I woke up. I woke up in tears and my heart hurt. It wasn't because the dream was bad... I just missed you so much. I think about you all the time and remember the sound of your Voice.

I wanted to let you know that since you past a lot of things have happend... good and bad. chris and I are getting married! Yup I know I know we are young but we are inlove and we can't wait to start our lives together. How I wish you could be aroun to be with us on our day. Doing something crazy like always. But though you may not be there physically you will be there in all of our hearts and memories. I know you will be looking down at me as i take this major step in life.

I love you Isaac and I miss you sooooo much. I wish I could hear your voice.

I'll write to you later ok.

Rudy

Rudy

October 17, 2006

As I sat in court today I felt nervous and scared. It's been a two years since your death but being there brought me back to that first day. It's not fair that we have to relive your death or have to hear from the defense try and get that bastard off. Try to prove he was just a victim of a hard life. It sucks! I know justice will win in the end but all I ask is that you help me and your family. We don't know what to expect, I know it will get harder but just let us know that you are there. I cannot help but feel the pain again when I look at your face, I don't want to go back to that night, but I will and I'll be alright. Give us strength and patience to deal with all that is to come. I miss you, I love you.

October 16, 2006

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers everyday!

Judi Beverly, Daughter of
SFPD Officer Code Beverly EOW 1/28/72

October 16, 2006

Dear Renata,

I am an Officer's wife and a Reserve Officer myself. Upon hearing about the trial starting, I felt a horrible knot in my stomach and it really hit home. You must be such a brave woman. I don't know you but I admire you, and the amazing hero you married. May God give you strength to get through this trial. I pray for you and your family. We'll never forget Officer Espinoza's sacrafice....

October 16, 2006

Isaac,
I heard this today and it made me think of you and your family on the eve of the trial and the enduring pain that all who loved you must feel each day;

"We are the fortunate ones. We survive when so many better men step in front of us and give up their precious lives in honor of what we all hold so dear. We owe them a sacred death. To live each day to its fullest. And what they are saying, when you listen hard enough is this; I am at peace now...and so should you be."

I don't think anyone will ever truly find peace with your passing, but for me, I know it makes me live my life with my family that much more. Because you would have. And in that only way I really can, I honor you each and every day.

God bless you and your amazing family, brother.

Officer Damian Jackson
Escondido PD

October 16, 2006

Everytime I read ODMP, I feel so blessed to have known you so well, and to see how you touched so many lives. You truly were a beautiful and blessed man. You influenced so many lives in the right direction. Your smile was remarkable and unforgettable. You always did the right thing, never influenced by anyone else, you made me so proud to be your cousin.

I feel you around me everyday, and I am so thankful that you are watching out for me. Sometimes I fell that if you weren't watching out for me, who knows where I would be.

I miss our Sunday's together. I miss having you around. I promise I will be there for you, to support you as this trial goes on. I know that you will be there with all of us as well.

I miss you :(

October 12, 2006

As the trial finally commences, know that you and your family are in the hearts of many. Your family will be supported throughout the trial by those who care for them and honor your memory. Another step on this long journey.

Phyllis Loya, mother of fallen officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg Police Department, eow 4/24/06

October 12, 2006

At some point, our lives change forever, in an instant. We're usually not ready for this change. We must KNOW that the one Warrior, Guardian, Peace Keeper/Peace Maker - God, is in charge. We must KNOW that He passes the judgement we seek. No man departs this world with his behaviors a secret. God bless you, your family, your loved ones and your fellow warriors.

Sgt Moore - USMC
Class 12

October 10, 2006

Still thinking of you. I can't believe how time has passed. You are still young and handsome. Time will never pass for you. It's sooo Isaac. Hope you are traveling like you wanted. :)

October 9, 2006

Zak,

I'm sick to my stomach about this trial, over 2 years!!! I have to walk into MY OWN HOUSE for the trial and can't wear a uniform or the star that I earned upon my chest because it might influence this case, but I shall wear it any other time? Since when were there exceptions to being a cop?? You wore a star upon your chest and it didn't influence him! All I can say is that your family and friends are and always have been in our thoughts and prayers, absolutely always! We love you and will continue to support you and yours, we will never forget, believe that. Bless you all...

patty b., usmc
sfpd, bayview mids

October 8, 2006

Cousin, Thank you for inspiring me. I felt you every step of the way! I did! I know you are proud. You are my guardian angel. I love you and miss you.

KC
SFPD Mission Mids

October 4, 2006

Your mom just emailed me to let me know that trial is about to begin. As I read her email, the tears started to well up. It's going to bring back the pain of losing you all over again. I want justice to be served Isaac. I want all your brothers/fellow police officers to know that their lives are sacred, and that this will not be tollerated. He should have to pay the ultimate price for your life. I'm sad but I'm also mad. Mad at him for taking you away from us. I will pray that justice is served. Adele

October 4, 2006