Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Deputy Sheriff Joshua Thomas Rutherford

Blaine County Sheriff's Office, Montana

End of Watch Thursday, May 29, 2003

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Reflections for Deputy Sheriff Joshua Thomas Rutherford

Tonight when I go on duty at 1800 after reading these reflections for Deputy Rutherford I am going to dedicate the shift to his memory with a short prayer I hope that his Family is doing as well as they can be on this day God Bless you Brother for your service I also have a young son whose middle name is Teague not a everyday First or Middle name

Deputy
Henderson County Sheriffs Department Texas

May 29, 2004

I love you baby. Give me strength these next few weeks.

May 19, 2004

Josh, I guess it's time. Tomorrow I will give a speech in your honor. For two weeks, I have told everyone "I can do this, I'm doing it for Josh, I'm doing it for Mike, I'm doing it for everyone that loved him". But today, I think it all finally hit me. It's been a year and it's "Memorial Time". Our crew is in Washington D.C. right now, with your family. So I guess it's up to me to say a few words, make sure everyone knows who you were, what you were, and everything you were going to be. Today you are honored in Havre, tomorrow you are honored in Deer Lodge, and in Washington D.C. We honor you every day. I know you know that. I'm going to give it my best shot, I will be strong, I will be the rock for those who aren't. I read your reflections and smile. Then I cry. I miss you. We all miss you. You weren't only a brother, you were our friend. You are our hero. May those who didn't know you wish they had, may those that did cherish every second. Until we meet again.....
Shane and Catherine Huston

Patrolman First Class Catherine Huston
Havre Police Department, Havre, MT

May 13, 2004

Josh,

I was out to see you today at PonyHill, and it just seems like yesterday it happend that i seen you there. I really miss you, and i put some flowers on you and the sun was just shinning down on you. It was a very beautiful day out today and it has taken me a long time to go out there, at times i cannot believe you are gone, it still hasnt' really sunk in yet. Your boys are so proud of you, and i'm glad they are traveling to WashingTon D.C. to Honor you as well as in Deer Lodge, i wish i could make it there, that would be something to see. you are a true warrior and you are my hero. well.......i hope this get's easier soon! i miss you every day! Later.............love a friend.

Harlem, MT

May 13, 2004

The 29th of May will be here soon and when I begin to think about it, I panic, knowing the time will come when I have to let you go, so you can continue your journey.

There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thinking about you. Sometimes I think where has the year gone? Then there are the hard days that make me wonder if they will ever end.

You were and still are so LOVED! There are many people that you touched with your time spent here. The reflections on this page give a small sample of those individuals.

I know it was in the Creator's plan for us to have met, and spend time together, even if for a short time. As I reflect on what we shared, I am thankful for the gifts you have left for me.

This week is one of the special weeks where you are honored for your love, your courage, bravery and commitment to your job as a Police Officer. I know you'll be watching as you are honored in Deerlodge and D.C. All of us in attendance will be smiling through the tears, because we know how strong that love was.


May 13, 2004

Josh,

We are getting ready to go to the airport to go to DC. I miss you so much, son. I didn't know that anything could be this painful. I will do this out of love for you but I am not happy about it. Thomas, Teague, Tammy, Roberta and I will go see this honoring of you and your colleagues. This its home for your memorial. I love you

May 12, 2004

"If Tears Could Build a stairway, And Memories A Lane. I'd Walk right up to heaven and bring you home again"

Harlem Citizen

May 10, 2004

Josh,
I was just reading all the reflections on here! it is so amazing how you touched so many peoples lives and how many will never forget you. I miss seeing you around and stopping to chat with you occasionly. I hope to plan your memorial here and see your mother maxine and the rest of your family to show my gratitude. I hope aunti Mac (maxine) is guiding us all well, i sure do miss her too! as i remember when she used to watch me when i was little and i was mostly in trouble most of the time....lol. I am so glad i had her to teach me from right from wrong and dicipline me the way she did. Anyways, i just wanted to write a quick note to tell you how much you are missed and how none of us will ever forget.

Georgette

May 7, 2004

Dear Josh, It has been almost a year since you made the ultimate sacrifice. On June 10th, I will begin a 250 mile journey to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial in Washington, DC; where your name is carved on the stone wall. I will not be alone. I will be among 230+ of our brothers and sisters who will also be riding their bicycles. I will be wearing a bracelet that has your name engraved on it, and will give it to your Mom or one of your brothers from Blaine County Sheriff's Office, upon arrival at the Memorial. You and the sacrifice that you made, will never be forgotten. That is a promise that we have made and one that we will keep. Rest in peace brother.

Detective Abbas A. Tabatabaie (Tabby)
Fairfax County Police Department - Proud Member of the Police Unity To

May 5, 2004

May 2, 2004

Josh:

It’s been over 11 months since that terrible night. You will never realize what an impact you had on some of our lives. You are dearly missed. Thomas is truly growing into a gentle young man. The girls are noticing him. (Just like his dad) Now I know where he gets his gift to be so admired. Joshua Teague follows in his brother’s footsteps. He continously tells me he wishes his dad were here to play with him. Thank you Josh for being such a great father to my grandsons. Roberta is doing such a wonderful job with your sons. She misses you .You were her anchor with them.

They will be leaving this Sunday with their mother, Tammy and your mother to D.C. I pray they have a safe journey. They have been having bake sales for the past four months at the Tribal Office for their trip. I promise you that my family will do all we can for your sons. They are LOVED. They sure spend a lot of time with Grandpa Killer. (Kill Eagle) They still can order him around. On weekends they call him and say “what's for breakfast grandpa, we’ll be right down” He’ll do anything for them. This year Thomas will be 13, can you believe it? We’re all preparing for the memorial. We are looking forward to seeing your fellow officers and friends.

We all miss you dearly, but we understand that you are up there watching over us. I want to tell you what a wonderful father you were. I was so proud of that fact. Thomas M. and Josuah Teague will carry that in their hearts forever. Thomas even told me I could go with him when he goes to College. He is sure the spitting image of you. He has such a gentle heart. The boys still call me Bea, I guess grandma is your moms title.

Just have to say again, how much we miss you and again to tell you what a wonderful young man you were. You will truly remain a Warrior in our hearts.

Always,

Your Mother in Law, Bea

May 2, 2004

Josh,

I can't believe that it has almost been a year, since you were taken from us. I think of you often and miss you. You are truly a hero and I know that you are on a new watch now. Thank you for your bravery and courage.

melody stanley

May 1, 2004

Josh,

i cannot believe it is going to be a year since you have gone. And i think of you mostly everyday........something will remind me of you and i just have thoughts and memory's run through my mind. I hear your memorial is coming up pretty soon. I look foward to attending, and remembering you. I miss you alot and i miss your handsome face around here. I used to always flirt with you, and you would flirt right back, and you always made me laugh while trying to do it. but just remember that i will have you in my heart forever and your memory will live on for days and years to come. I Love You Josh.

Your friend G.

April 26, 2004

I stop by this website often after the death of two dear friends with the NCSHP (Troopers Calvin Taylor E.O.W. October 3, 2001 and Anthony Cogdill E.O.W. May 30, 2003).

We all grieve over the lives lost in the line of duty. I hope you can find some comfort knowing that there are countless prayers that go out for your family. It is obvious from the reflections that Deputy Rutherford was a wonderful man.

These are senseless tragedies that never seem to stop. God Bless the men and women who continue to serve their communities in our great Nation.

...Gone, but never Forgotten....

Marti (EMT-Paramedic)
Haywood Co EMS (NC)

April 4, 2004

Baby,

Its been ten months. I miss you more every day.

March 29, 2004

Josh,
This message is from Auntie Jill. It has taken me this long to feel strong enough to write a reflection to you. I watched you grow from a skinny little boy into a strong, handsome young warrior with a wonderful future ahead of him. I remember visiting with Max and laughing about how you "put up" with us and didn't get to impatient when we'd pull one of our stunts, you'd just shake your head and laugh with us. All of my memories of you are good, I have no memories where we were unhappy or angry, just happy times and I was always telling your Mom how good you treated us. She'd say, He was raised right, thats why!" I can't disagree with that, you grew up to represent us as an honorable, respected dignified warrior.
Time marched on Josh, but it seems like it was yesterday when Fawn came home and told me about how much fun it was to have you in the school and how you seemed to enjoy being with the kids and fitting in even though you was a "COP."
This is something I don't understand, what happened affected so many people and changed the lives of some in a negative way. I don't question God's Will, but I don't understand it when things like this happen. I told Max - why couldn't he have stepped in gopher hole, tripped on barbed wire, not answered his phone that night, anything to stop this from happening. But I know in my heart that nothing could have stopped this, God called you home and you knew it was time to leave as there is something only you can do, some ceremony or prayer that you will be conducting for all of our people. While we mourn for you and miss you every day, we also know that you are here helping us and will continue to be close to our hearts. We don't say Goodbye, we say I'll see you again sometime, so that is how I will close this message to you. As we watch your Sons grow from boys into men, we will see you and all the goodness you blessed us with during your short time here on earth.

March 25, 2004

People come into your life for a Reason, Season or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is for a person, you will knkow what to do for that person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are!

They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, one of you will say or do something to bring that relationship to and end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a SEASON.

LIFETIME relationships teach you life time lessons: Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind, but friendship clairvoyant.

Josh, thank you for being my Reason, Season and my Lifetime!

Josh's friend who loved him beyond words

March 15, 2004

Josh, just wanted to let you know that Guderjahn, Bruyer and I just completed a week of Defensive Tactics Instructing at the Academy. We also had a couple of new instructors that you did not instruct with. It's not the same without you in the gym with us. We all had your Badge Number (24-6) embroidered on our DT sweatshirts. When we are asked what the number is for, we talk about you and what you mean to us. Keep the "Beat" safe up there and God Bless your family and friends.
ALWAYS REMEMBERED, NEVER FORGOTTEN 24-6
EOW: 05-29-2003

Lieutenant Brien Gault
Glasgow Police Department

March 14, 2004

Josh,

I am beginning to get a clearer picture of that night. Some questions are being answered. Doesn't change the outcome but at least I am starting to understand that night. I have been so angry that LJ stole you life. But I wanted you to know that I miss and love you so much. I am so proud of you.

Love you

March 12, 2004

Joshua,

I was reading all the recent reflections today, and alot of people miss you and wished that they could have saved you. As for F G, I totaly respect you for saving my buddy's life and doing everything that you could, but don't be so down on yourself ok? there is only so much one person can do in situations like that. Josh is very grateful to you and i know that he is watching over you right now, showing you in some way to comfort you & showing his gratitude for you. Josh, I hope you read these reflection some how, and just know that you were loved by so many people, and L J will get his day soon!. And watch over F G and give him comfort, so he doesn't blame himself for that night. Love You buddy!

March 7, 2004

Josh,

It has been a long time since that awful night, but yet I see you running in the alley every day/night. If I only knew then
what I know now, I would have tackled you, helped you more
with LJ, something. There is not a day or night that goes by
that I don't think about that night and you. I see your smiling
face in the reflections page, and think about then, when I saw
you in the field. I was thinking (or maybe praying) that when
I came up to you, you would be cussing because of the
pain, or that you were shot. Somehow, I knew it was the
worst when you didn't blink from the flashlight. After I determined that you were gone, it felt like walking back to
the highway was 5 miles long. I remember LJ saying some-
thing to me, but I told him what he could do to himself, and
had to tell Loren and Scott you were gone. When I took the
FB Ambulance crew down there, Chris wanted to come and
help, but I knew he thought the world of you and I didn't
want him to see you as I found you.

As I was out there in the field with you for the next 3 and half
hours, I was remembering things of you, in the shop, the
time we had a few drinks together uptown, the kids and the
BB guns, you know fun things, I didn't want to think about
you laying there, like that.

I told Glen in June, I had the best opportunity to shoot LJ,
when Loren & I was standing there trying to get LJ to stop
and while Loren was telling me he was dizzy and was putting
his head on the top of the cop car. While I had my hand on
his hand, I could have squeezed the trigger finger and shot
that SOB. How now do I wish I would have...he is still
awaiting trial and is being taken care of by the state.

Glen, Marvin and even Maxine have told me that even in
a trauma center, they could not have saved you, but it doesn't
negate the fact, I feel I let you down. The things that go
through my mind daily of the things I could have, should
have done from the time you arrived at Mary's trailer to the
end. I really thought you had LJ taken care of when you
told him just to stay down and make it easier on himself and
telling Chris & I you would take it over from there. I really
thought you had him and in fact I told Loren that, but it wasn't to be was it?

There is times so many times I wanted to talk to your mom and tell her everything, times I want to talk to someone, but
I don't...I keep everything inside and am waiting for the day
that I can a judge and a jury my knowledge of that night, &
believe you me Josh, I remember everything as if it just
happened tonight. My only regret is I wish I could have done
more for you, Josh, and the fact is, I think I let you down,
and for that I am sorry Bud. I live with that facet everyday
and will live it for the rest of my life.

I know the Lord heard my prayer that night, do you remember it ? At least he answered it and you are in His arms, and watching over your family. Take care Josh, and
for the gadzillionth time, I am sorry.

Fred

Fred Green
None - civlian

March 5, 2004

Josh,

I can't believe it's been 9 months already! and in 2 months it's going to a year since you've been gone, and i still feel shocked about the whole thing. I'm so used to seeing you around Harlem and that big smile of yours, You know it's kinda weird how you think stuff like this doesn't happen around Harlem, Mt. I always wondered if there was any way of anybody saving you at the time, and what was going through your mind at the moment. I wished nobody was hurt and killed at that time, but things don't always happen the way they should huh? That Jackson guy, should of just given up and took responsibility for his actions, instead he was being the stupid guy he is, and just Shot you for no appereant reason, thinking that was his easy way out. But now, he will suffer every day of his life, and i hope that he thinks of you every single day and has nightmares so bad that it get's the best of him. everybody around home here, misses you dearly and i read these reflections everyday, and how you inspired most people is just awsome! I read your Mother's letters to you, and i know it is so hard for her to accept that your gone, but like she said, she will one day too see you again. And i Know your son's will turn out like you, they had a really good father who taught them well. And i know Thomas will do everything he can to make you proud of him, and i think he knows how proud of him you were of him and how much You loved Him, and i believe that he knows that you will always love him and watch over him. It is so very hard to lose a parent, i have lost my father 9 years ago, and it just feels like yesterday, and he keeps me going every day. And i hope that will help for your boys and family. You will never die in thier way, you will live on forever in thier hearts. I don't know what else to really say. But i do miss you and i hope your mother will get better strength, i know your memorial is coming up, just know that your mother and family will be well taken care of! you have alot of freinds that are like family to you, who will give support to them at the most difficult time.

Laterz,

Georgette

March 3, 2004

Hey there friend, it's been nine months since your departure. I sit here and wonder how I could have made it through the past nine months without you. I guess it validates what you always used to tell me, "you're stronger than you give yourself credit for." Although, I never thought I would be demonstrating my strength by living without you....

I miss you so much. I still pick up the phone, ready to call you or think about you at home with your boys, then I remember that you are not there. I cannot begin to explain the emptiness that I find when I come to this realization.

Recently, you have come to me in my dreams and I thank you for that. It give me great comfort to see your smiling face. I'm happy that you come to visit. I know you continue to watch over all of your loved ones.

In the next three months I will prepare myself to let you continue your journey. As a year will have passed and I want to see you become all you are meant to be on the other side. I have not doubt that you have big plans in store.

Savor the time spent here, but look forward to the great things in your future. Love you!

February 29, 2004

Josh,

Its been almost 9 months. Time seems to drag by without you. I sure do miss our Sunday morning visits. Your memorial is coming up in three months. It will hard to say goodbye for the final time. Decided that we would have your twenty gun salute that I couldn't bear at your funeral for you at your memorial. Thomas, Teague, Tammy, Berta and I will be going to National Police Week on May 12-17. It going to seem pretty harsh to see your name on the police wall so we are going the day before so we can do our crying in private.

I know it is an honor for you to have your name engraved on the wall but I think it will be all about reality slapping us in the face. You earned your spot but I definately wish you would of killed the killer instead of the other way around. The world would of been a better place with his death because he is such a piece of crap.

Your friends and family have been busy getting ready for your memorial. Thomas might have to cut the grass if the weather is nice enough to have it outside other wise we will go to the Bingo Hall. I didn't realize that you knew so many people. I'll give your dad a bronco hat for you.

Well I continue to miss you but I know that I will get to see you one day. Tell your Gram and the rest of family over there with you that we miss and love them.

Love
Mom

February 27, 2004

Hey Joshua,

I wish you were still here with us, sometimes as i drive around the big city of "Harlem"....lol. I think about you, and remembering how you used to park your unit by EZMART and by carquest looking out for everybody. I wish i could see your smile and your face, you always looked happy and never sad. You had so much to live for.....and your killer took all that away from you, and he probably didn't realize what he was taking away from your family. I miss you so much, while you are gone, he's going sit for the rest of his days and hopefully realize what he has done and he'll pay for it for the rest of his life. But i guess that is up to God and other people huh? I drive by you house once in awhile and i keep thinking your patrol car is parked in your drive-way and your inside playing your XBOX with your boys, like you always did. Then Reality sets in, and i have to face that your gone and never coming back. But i will see you someday! I know your Grandma Maxine is probably glad that your with her and helping her watch over your family and the friends of your family. I really Loved Maxine, she was the kindest woman i knew and she gave great dicipline in my day!.......lol. Well.....Officer Rutherford watch over us ok? and guide the new Police officers we have on our task force! especially Kindergarden Cop!.........I think Cory can use your help right now buddy!.........lol. you must of partly trained him huh? he has your stubborness in him, i also know that he misses you alot and is thankful for knowing you in that short time he did and i know he must be very, very thankful that you were the one to help him in the law enforcement area. I love You Sweety! and i will continue to think and love you as my friend and will keep you alive in my heart forever, and as long as i live.......and afterwards.......

Josh's good freind who misses him!

February 24, 2004

Uncle, I miss you. I think about the time you handcuffed me and Tom, and let us ride in the back of your cop car. I wish I had more time with you. I will always be "your girl". I love you.

ru ru

February 9, 2004

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