Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Deputy Sheriff Joshua Thomas Rutherford

Blaine County Sheriff's Office, Montana

End of Watch Thursday, May 29, 2003

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Reflections for Deputy Sheriff Joshua Thomas Rutherford

I miss you dady I hope you protect me




Your,
son Teague

Teague
harlem

January 24, 2005

JOsh,

A song just came on the radio by Uncle Kracker. I remember the last time I heard it with you. Teague, you and I were going out to the rez. It came on and Teague started to sing along with the song. You told Teague to sing it baby. The look of pride and love on your face is something that I hold on to. You were such a good father.

I will love you forever

January 24, 2005

Strength

Often times it is said, you never know what you have
The strength to carry on
Until your place in that position
When everything goes wrong

First cursing God, then praying, always asking why
Total numbness setting in
Giving up all hope
Can’t place where your life has been

But some how you trudge on
In somewhat of a daze
What have you done to deserve this
Over in your mind plays

How much more can I take
What is it he expects
I am only human
Need time to react

But I refuse to go down
I’ve much too much to fight for
I’ve dealt with worse than this
So swing open wide your doors

Loose upon me what you have
I’ve got my second wind
You won’t take me out
I’ll barely even bend

I’ll beat you with my hope
Destroy you with my faith
And in the end of this old battle
You’ll see I’ve won this race.

Dedicated to Officer Joshua Thomas Rutherford
January 19, 2005

January 19, 2005

Josh,

Another delay. Jackson's sentencing has been postponed until April. This time it works in my favor, won't have to be in Montana in the middle of the winter. I have been working hard at the sentencing. Getting letters from other parents and friends here in Denver. I believe that the death penalty is what Jackson deserves. We had plenty of discussions about the death penalty and war, I finally understand what you were talking about.

I love and miss you.

Mom

January 14, 2005

Love you Baby
-Your one true

January 6, 2005

josh, i am so sad to see that your mom is having a hard time with things. i know this is a difficult time for her, and i hope that things will get better for her. please watch over her during this hard time and help her have some peace. i can't believe you have been gone for almost 2 years. i think about you everyday and miss you dearly. you are my hero.

melody stanley
josh's aunt

January 4, 2005

Josh,

Just wanted to say Happy New year and that I love You and i miss you deeply, I think of you everyday and i know you are watching over all of us!!!!!

January 1, 2005

I pray for you and your family Josh. When i lived in harlem we had alot of fun...you jimmy and I. Thanks for being a friend and helping us out when we needed it.

Fabian McMillan

December 31, 2004

Josh,

I see a lot of people write about closure. I don't think that will ever happen for me. I loved from the moment that I knew you were under my heart. I called you Joshua even before the doctor com firmed that you were on the way. I will love you till I take my last breath.

The funny thing is I could care less what they do to Jackson because the end result is the same. I will never see you this side of heaven again.

Lately I have been thinking of you as a baby and a little boy. I will see a little head strong boy acting up in the department and it brings a smile to my face because that was you. I look at pictures of you when you were young and your biggest dream was a big wheel and a steep hill to go down. Later it was the diamond back bike and our rides down to ocean. I even think of your parakeet you trained to whistle when you walked in the room. You never had any ego problems.

I remember when you had your friends from Edgewater stay over and we ate cake for dinner because they had never done that before. I spoke to Troy on his wedding day. He was getting married in Las Vegas. He had a baby on the way. So he has has become a father for the first time at the ripe old age of 30.

I took out the pictures of me, Tammy and Gram and our last Christmas that we had together before Gram left. We were all so happy. And then there that Christmas when Thomas got the table and chair set. It had to be set just right so he could pose with his table.

I remember the dinners at Jen's grandma house. The house was so filled with love and the smell of Larry's fry bread.

I have decided not to go to the sentencing because I think the boys should be able to give an impact statement.

Jackie and I have prepared a power point demonstration and Yvonne will read my letter. I picked out the best pictures I could find that would reflect your spirit. I spent every day at the trial reliving that last night with you. I still have many unanswered questions. My one regret is that I didn't get to hold you and say so long and not goodbye. I wish I could of done that night they brought you back from Missoula but I was worried about how your death would impact others. I wanted the best funeral so people would know that you were a hero and had been since 1974. So I wish I would of taken the time to just grieve.

Well my baby boy it is my second Christmas with out and now Lil Jimmy is up there with you. I picked up a shift on Christmas so others can spend the holidays with their families. Jim has probably talked your ear off by now.

I will probably be in Montana the week of the sentencing as that is divisional tournaments so maybe I will get to see Wil play. I remember when Wil taught Thomas the ninja dance. I am glad that I have so many memories of happy days as well as the bad days. It was you that carried me through those days.

Happy Holidays, I know you are with the Creator so save me a spot.

So I still don't know what closure means because I will miss you every day for the rest of my life.

Mommie

December 23, 2004

This past week I saw a man that resembled you. I could not take my eyes off of him. Just the way he walked, stood, and moved all together made me think of you. I wished I could have just closed my eyes and when I opened them it would be you and not some stranger.

A lonely soul

December 21, 2004

Josh, Just to let you know that you will never be forgotten. In February the final chapter of your tramatic ordel will be finalized. I will pray that justice will be done and that you and your family will be happy with the sentence passed down.

I will be brining your aunt Melody to the sentencing and will be there with your family. Although I did not know you, I have become close to some of your family and will help them through this for you. You are a hero to all of us and your legacy will never be forgotten. May you rest in peace our fallen hero!

SGT MIKE ZUHOSKI
LAUREL MT POLICE

December 18, 2004

Missing you during the Holidays......I love you!

December 17, 2004

Josh,

It is still hard to believe you are gone. Though we never really hung out in high school, I always liked and admired you. You were always a very kind and good person. When my mom called me with the news, I was shocked. I thought, "who could do this to Josh?" They say there is a plan for all of us and that you must have been taken for a reason, but it seems so senseless, I just can't imagine a reason good enough to take you. Be at peace.

Adam Ragsdale
friend from high school

December 16, 2004

Just thinking about you and missing everything we shared. You are always in my thoughts and my memories. I love you

December 16, 2004

Son,

I miss you so much. Yesterday some crazy person killed my Jim. I don't know how I will make it without you. Jim held me up when you left and now he's with you. I love you both, take care of Jim for me son.

December 9, 2004

Christmas is approaching and it will be another difficult holiday without you. If we made it past last Christmas without, I'm sure we can make it through this year too. Around the holiday's I reflect on the memories we shared in the past.....the look on your face when you opened your gifts will be imprinted in my mind for a lifetime. Also, we will always remember how much you loved to eat, stuffing yourself with all your favorite Christmas dishes.
New Year's Eve last year was very hard too. I didn't even last until midnight to bring in the new year. It way too sad to even think about you not starting the new year with us.

Happy Holiday's Josh!

December 9, 2004

Josh
I am sorry it has taken me so long to write anything here, I wasn't sure what to say to you. Though I only knew you for a short while my best memories of you were when you came up to your fathers house and we were all there. It was the first time that we met. I could see your father in you and instantly I knew that you like my brother were true warriors and honorable men. You see Josh your dad , my brother has always been my HERO and now you also hold that place in my heart. Being way down here in Texas it is hard for me to get to know your boys but I promise you that anything I can do for them I will. Though I know their Grandpa Mike will already have that covered. Josh, I know that you are watching over us all, so you know we all love and miss you and think about you often.
Uncle Gregg Rasor
Center Point Texas

Gregg Rasor (unk)

December 7, 2004

A a few days past a year and six months since your departure. My friend, the road has been long and trying without you, but as I now know......life goes on. I guess I don't have to tell you how much it hurt me to relive all the memories of your death once the trial began. The details that came out of the witness statements often times were hard to hear, the statements making your death even more real. Not a day goes by that I do not think about you. To this day I love you so much! No one will ever replace the space I have for you in my heart. I only hope that one day I will find a friend/companion that was close to what you were to me. Your boy's growing every day, they resemble you so much. You were a wonderful father and they will carry your love with them throughout their lives. The example you have set for them as a father and friend will reflect in their love for others. Your mother Maxine is one strong and powerful woman. The road she has traveled in the past year and half probably seemed unbearable at the time, but she is still standing. You knew the love she had for you and I hope that comforts her during the difficult times.

Watch over all of us Officer Rutherford.

December 1, 2004

Josh,

I miss you so much.

December 1, 2004

josh,

i am so happy that the trial is over. i admit that i became angry several times over the course of the trial, when the state had their expert witnesses saying the things they did about you and loren. i know the trial had to take its course and i had faith in god that justice would be done. i will be front and center when they pronounce sentence on that low life human being that took your life. i know that it won't bring you back, but this verdict has brought closure to a lot of us, and the sentencing phase will complete that. i think about you everyday. i miss you and just know that you are loved.

i am now dating a police officer for the city of laurel, and everyday he leaves for work, i let him know how much i love him and how much he means to me. i wish that i could have told you that more often. rest in peace my nephew.

melody stanley
josh's aunt

November 30, 2004

I am so happy for the way the trial ended. Your justice will soon be served. I am happy your family will have a chance to move on and no that you are resting in peace. I am sorry for the things that have happened throughout this whole waiting period for the trial. I no you are disapointed and mad about some of the things that have happened. People can cause so much trouble when they are hurting and angry. We must forgive my brother. I worry about these times in our journey here on earth. I pray Raberta will seek your wisdom and follow the path you would have her to and your two boys will never forget you and will be like you as adults. We no you taught them how to be warriors like you. Keep us all safe and watching over us. We miss you and need your guidence. Rest in peace my dear brother and friend.

A fellow warrior

November 16, 2004

I LOVE YOU

November 16, 2004

My dear grandson,I have to say these things and I hope you will understand. I followed the trial every day in the papers and it made me so angry that the state was putting out so much money hiring those so called experts to defend a cannibalistic killer. Your father explained to me that they had to do that, because the law say's it has to be done. I was so very pleased that the jury found him guilty on both counts and found it right for the death penalty in the cause of your death. All of your family from here will be in Chinook in Feb. when the Judge pronounces the penalty. Maybe it is wrong for me to want the death penalty for him but you know in the Bible it say's, " an eye for an eye". He stole your life and left four young boys without a father. I think that makes it right.
Jen and the boys will be up here at your dad's for Thanksgiving so I will be able to see my Great Grandsons again. I am looking forward to that.

I will have closure when the Judge hands out the sentences. Until then my Grandson I will have that feeling of a heart that has been broken in half and won't mend. We will see.

Your Grandmother - Tatanka Ska Wiya - White Buffalo Woman- Ruby Rasor

November 15, 2004

Josh,

Hello my friend, just want to say how pleased i am to hear that the trial is Finally Over!!! And you can finally rest in peace and your family has thier closure. We all miss you dearly, and there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think of you. Some days when i'm at work at Ezmart i just stare at that field where you died and it just makes me think of you, and i hope that it will all go away in time. I hope your mother is doing ok, my prayers are with her right now and with your son's. I know they will grow up and be like you!!! Thomas looks alot like you, and when i see him, i seem you i him.....which gives me comfort at times. Well, at least your with aunti Maxine, and she is watching over all of us, just as you are. well...i'm going to end my closure here, I love & Miss you!. Maxine, if you read this, know that i love you, and i will always think of you everyday and your in my prayers ok? We are all here for you!!! :)

Georgette Cole

November 10, 2004

Josh...

I'm am writing to say, that i am very glad that the trial is finally over and that your family can have Closure. I'm glad that Justice finally got served and that, the person that has done this to you, will sit in prison and think of you everyday and every waking moment. But the pain will never go away for some no matter how long this person sits in prison, or whether he get's the death penalty. Because you were a great person and you meant so much to so many people in this town. I love you Josh, and will see again someday.

November 7, 2004

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