Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

wow its been 5 years and it almost doesnt seem possible actually it doest it just seems like yesterday i was asking permission to do the things i wanted. This year has been pretty busy although it has not been busy enough i think about you all the time. Life would be so much easier with you here!! Im engaged now Scott proposed to me on Christmas and we will be getting married in the summer of 09 i was excited and still am but i wont have you there with me to walk down the isle, i know you will be there in spirit but its just not the same for me. I changed my major in school dad you truly were an amazing man i thought i could be a cop but i realized it truly does take a special person to do that profession, im not sure yet what im going to change to though. i still talk to joss once in a while its kinda hard being so appart though. Well i suppose I will talk to you later!! I love you Dad

Jennifer McElderry
Daughter

January 3, 2008

My thoughts are with all your loved ones on this 4th anniversary of your EOW. Continue to keep watch over all of your loved ones and those still out on patrol. I know not a day has gone by that they have not had you in their thoughts. You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Chicago Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

January 3, 2008

Today on the 5th anniversary of your death, we pause and say a prayer for your loved ones who mourn you.
May God give them strength to get through today as it will be a difficult one.
Respectfully submitted
Chief John Roelandts (retired)
Deborah Roelandts (911 retired)
Oconomowoc Wisconsin

Chief John Roelandts (retired)
Town of Oconomowoc

January 3, 2008

The message left for my brother by your family was one of such profound comfort that it brought happy tears to my eyes. You must have been a wonderfully special person to have loved ones in your life that honor your memory so faithfuly. We must all remember that the jorney taken must be taken ONE STEP AT A TIME. My thanks and love to your family Deputy McElderry.

Jennifer MAyo
Sister of fallen Deputy Hilery A. Mayo Jr. STPSO La.

January 1, 2008

YOU ARE REMEMBERED TODAY AND THANK YOU SIR FOR YOUR SERVICE

VANDENBERGHE
MANCHESTER, NH

December 31, 2007

Deputy McElderry,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years, thank you for your service and watch over the rest of us brother.

To the Family of Deputy McElderry
You will be in my families prayers every night, but mostly during this time.

To Joyce
Thank you for leaving such a wonderful message for Josh and to my daughter, it has touched my heart. After viewing Dennis's reflections and seeing the out reach you have made to so many, you are an angel here on earth and I know Dennis is looking down from heaven beaming with pride and he knows he was blessed with having time with you. This is something that was given to my daughter and I hope helps you also, since you did not have a chance for a good bye


A LETTER FROM HEAVEN
To my fiance', some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through
God picked me up and hugged me and he said,'I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.
I need you here badly, you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.'
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....In the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human they are bound to bring tears.
But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you would not understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads ahead of you, and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one step at a time.
It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you to;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night...."My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented...that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low:
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.
I will always be with you!

Deputy John Latour
Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office

December 31, 2007

Thank you Ms. Brar for your kind thoughts about Deputy Charlie Cook that really means a lot to us, and Thank You to Deputy McElderry for his service.

Aaron

December 29, 2007

I read your note on officer jason wests page and wanted to tell you how sweet you are to want to help people who you dont even know.After having such an awful thing happen to you it makes me happy to know that you would still take the time to console others.Im sure your fiance was an amazeing man.Im so glad to know that there are people like you still left in this world.Thank you so much you are an inspiration.God bless you and your family.

A

December 27, 2007

im 13 now && still miss you tons
im at school right now :]

missing you && loving you

iloveyou

Taylor McElderry
daughter

December 17, 2007

I saw an article in the Winnipeg Sun In Memory of RCMP Constable Peter Magdic (died on duty 6 yrs ago) and while reading up on his life I came across your (Jocelyne Brar) message to the Magdic family.

That was very nice of you to write that and I then took the time to look at what I could find about your fiancee Dennis.

What a sad ending to the life of a wonderful sounding man. Again, I am so very sorry for your loss. I'm just a man living a normal life in Winnipeg trying to raise my family right and when I read about the sacrifices of our officers including the conditions they work in and what they are expected to do - I honestly don't know how they do it day in and day out. And how hard it must be on the families.

My son wants to join the RCMP and I am supportive of that calling. I can't think of a more honourable role to play in society. Helping people no matter who, no matter what, no matter where is the most selfless thing you can do with your life. I trust he will receive great training and I hope law enforcement policies will always be worked on to protect the members.

When Dennis went to work that day... I'm sure you worried as you always did and for him to die in the way he did - it just makes me angry. It was an accident obviously but as a result of a criminal act and I hope that somehow you've been able to find comfort in the aftermath. I'm not sure I can say anything that helps here except as a typical citizen I have always been impressed with the police officers I've dealt with - very polite, professional and always ready to help provide information I needed.

It would be my dream for my son to turn into that (some days I wonder but chalk that up to teens!!) type of person. Someone like your Dennis - respected for the person he is and the job he does.

Chris Ashley
Winnipeg

Chris Ashley
none

November 18, 2007

Jocelyn,

I think of you so often, and hope that you are well. You were a Godsend at COPS, especially understanding from a fiance's point of view. Doug will be forever on and in my heart, as I know Dennis will be in yours. I hope you are well. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, I know yet another "anniversary" is only a couple of months away..

God Bless you, and the rest of Dennis's family.

Linda Edwards (wendel)

November 7, 2007

What a super nice surprise to see the touching tribute you left for Andy! He was everything that you have read and so much more. We miss him dearly, and not a day goes by without thinking of him often.
I was so saddened to read of your loved one, and the loss and pain you must feel. It truly brings me hope that you have a faith that will withstand the test of time. We depend so much on our faith to allow us the strength to get through this most difficult time. We now have the memories to cherish of all that he was...while he is up there with God walking the streets of gold in peace. I feel sure that there is a special place for officers to congregate and enjoy one anothers company. They also have stories to tell...whether it be job related or otherwise.
Thank you sir for the job that you did while here on earth. You go rest high on that mountian! Your fiancee has a heart of gold. Tell Andy how much we love him when you see him around...we miss him so very much!

Haylee Esparza
sis-in-law to Andrew Esparza IPD 966 EOW 4*13*07

November 3, 2007

I really didn't know you until your fiancee left a message on Jasons page. My heart truelly goes out to all of ya loved ones and to your family. It has been six mths since I lost Jason and not a day goes by that its not a struggle just to continue on as well. I know you lost your best friend but that day the world gained a great angel and protector in heaven. I know nothing I can say can ease your pain trust me I know but if you need a friend I am here. With much respect to him and the ultmiate sacrifice he paid God Bless You all. Forever Remembering 436 Deputy Jason Lee Saunders

Cheryl Heller

October 20, 2007

Rest in peace brother. Dennis, you gave your life for a just cause. You protected families, friends, and loved ones. You did not pass away in vain, you will always be remembered by your loved ones. May you be in eternal peace and happiness. Take care brother. I pray for the recovery of your family. God bless!

Auxiliary Police Sergeant S. Meade
NYPD-Transit Bureau

October 10, 2007

To Jocelyn and family.

Just wanted to leave a message and make sure you know of the extended family that feels your sorrow and share the joyful memories that you have shared with us. You are obviously very proud of Dennis and so are we for serving those who we are sworn to protect and giving up the ultimate gift.

God bless Jocelyn.

Sgt David Beck
Military Police Canada

October 7, 2007

Officer McElderry,

Although I have never had the pleasure to met you, it seems as you have left a beautiful legacy behind. Thank you for the ultimate sacrifice and rest assured that you will not be remembered for how you died but for how you lived.

Please ask God to touch your beloved Fiance Jocelyn and grant her the peace she needs. It seems as every Memorial page I have seen she has been there and left the same message asking the other officers to give you a hug. It seems as you left her far too soon. What a beautiful woman to hold on to your memory and share the love she has for you. Please sir, make a deal with the lord if you can to give her one more moment with you. Even if in a dream so she may have her peace and that wonderful heart of hers has a chance to heal.

God Bless You Sir.

August 28, 2007

Hi Hon!

Just stopping by to send birthday wishes to Heaven! I hope that they’re throwing a grand ol’ party for you up there. Know that we’ll be celebrating your life down here as well. I still can’t believe you would’ve been 50 today! I remember when we first got together and I was concerned about the age difference between us and how things would work out and you assured me that you’d still be able to chase me around 50 years later the same way you could the day we had that conversation. I laughed at the time, but now it makes me kind of sad thinking about how we’ll never find out if you were right. You lived a great life but I can’t help but feel like you still had so much more left to do here. So many conversations left to be said, so many memories left unmade, so many things left unfinished. It’s been four years since you’ve been gone but most days I still wish we’d had more time. You were amazing and such a blessing in my life, even to this day. I can’t tell you how much I still love and miss you even as time passes. It goes beyond words. Just know that I do and that you’re forever a part of me.

Sending love, hugs, and birthday kisses to Heaven!

Joss :)

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DAMN RIGHT
By: Terri Clark

I'm not gonna lie or act like I'm that tough
There might be a tear in my eye when I watch that airplane liftin' up
I never was much for tellin' you how much you meant
But I need you to know you were heaven sent

We went together like highways and T-birds
Saturday sinners and Sunday church
And lookin' back and cryin' and laughing at the life between us two
We went together like memories and long gones
Cowboys and sad old songs
After all of the holdin' on tight that we went through
You're damn right I'm gonna miss you

I guess there are times when all of us re-learn
And life is a book, and the pages you know they're about to turn
And I don't know where the story ends
Where it's gonna go now
Just as long as this chapter tells the whole world how

We went together like highways and T-birds
Saturday sinners and Sunday church
And lookin' back and cryin' and laughing at the life between us two
We went together like memories and long gones
Cowboys and sad old songs
After all of the holdin' on tight that we went through
You're damn right I'm gonna miss you

We went together like highways and T-birds
Saturday sinners and Sunday church
And lookin' back and cryin' and laughing at the life between us two
We went together like memories and long gones
Cowboys and sad old songs
After all of the holdin' on tight that we went through
Yeah, after all of the fairytales that didn't quite come true
After all of the nights and the fights that we went through
You're damn right I'm gonna miss you
I'm gonna miss you

Jocelyne (Fiancee)
"Forever Loving & Missing 26-3"

June 19, 2007

I saw your fiancee left a memorial for one of our heroes, Gary Skerski. I wanted to come here and pay my respects. It doesn't matter what agency, what color uniform, what badge we all wear; when one of us bleeds, we all hurt.
Rest in peace, brother.

P/O Joseph Leighthardt
Philadelphia Police Department

April 28, 2007

HI DENNIS
JOSELYN I WAS JUST THINKING OF YOU AND WONDEING HOW YOU WERE DOING.I HOPE THINGS ARE GOING WELL FOR YOU. I'VE HAD A HARD MONTH. APRIL 7, WAS A YEAR SINCE TONY PASSED AWAY. DOENSN'T SEEM LIKE IT.I STILL MISS HIM LIKE IT WAS THE DAY HE PASSED. WE DID GET SOME GOOD NEWS THOUGH. TONY IS BEING HONORED IN WASHINGTON DURING POLICE OFFICER'S WEEK. HE WAS CHOSEN FROM ALABAMA,AND HIS NAME WILL GO ON THE WALL OF FALLEN OFFICERS. WE ARE SO PROUD OF HIM. HE IS ALSO BEING INDUCTED INTO THE POLICEMANS HALL OF FAME HERE IN MOBILE.
THE DEPARTMENT IS KEEPING HIS SPIRIT ALIVE. THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL TAGS ON THEIR POLICE CARS.(IN MEMERORY OF TONY ANDREWS) WITH HIS CALL NUMBER 421 ON THEME. THE CHIEF RETIRED HIS CALL NUMBER AND ASSIGNED IT TO THE SWAT VAN.
TONY DID ALL THE WORK ON THE VAN. HE LOVED TO WORK ON VEHICLES. ONE OF HIS PAST TIMES.HE WOULD BRING IT HOME AND WORK ON IT ON HIS OFF TIME. HE WAS SO DEVOTED TO HIS JOB.HE LOVED BEING A POLICE OFFICER.WE ALL MISS HIM SO MUCH AS DO HIS FELLOW BROTHERS OF THE DEPARTMENT. SORRY TO GO ON AND ON. WELL GIRL,I PRAY FOR YOU AND THINK OF YOU OFTEN. I HOPE THAT ONE DAY WE CAN MEET, OR JUST TALK. YOU TAKE CARE. LOVE, MADONNA

[email protected]
FRIEND

April 15, 2007

Hey Dennnis I was sitting here and remembering how much I miss you. I'm a year older and seems things still are the same. wish you could be here and celebrate with me. Took a picture of the clouds the other day and a face is in it. almost looks like you with long hair. I know your keeping an eye on all of us. love and miss you. Your sis.

Debbie
sister

April 8, 2007

Hey Dennis,

It seems like it’s been a while since I last left you a message for you here. I’ve sat down to write you numerous times but every time I do I just find myself saying the same things over again just a slightly different way … I love you and I miss you. You’d think over time my feelings for you would change, especially with you being gone for so long, but they just haven’t. I still love you as much as I did the day you left us. As time goes on I realize that love won’t change. You’re forever a part of me and I don’t think there’s a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought about you in one way or another. You know it’s silly but, I still have your name on my MSN Messenger list. I don’t know why, I guess I keep secretly hoping that one day your name will magically light up my screen. I miss all of our late night conversations! I even still have your number programmed into my cell phone. I guess somehow I just feel safer having it there. You always said I could call you anytime for any reason. You don’t know how many times I’ve had to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling only because I know that your voice won’t be on the other end. Dennis, I’m really missing all that you brought into my life. All the love, the light, the smiles, the laughter, the support, I could keep going on. Long story short, I miss you and it’s just not the same talking/writing to you this way. There’s so much more I wish I could tell you. Things that can’t be said in a letter like this.

You know Dennis, life is changing so fast. I did some updating to your memorial site a couple of weeks ago and I look at the way things were and the way things are now and often I’m surprised at the twists and turns life has taken since the night you left us. If someone had told me when we’d first met I’d be in the place I am in my life right now I never would’ve believed them. I think back on all the promises you made me and all the plans we made and I can’t help at times but wonder what life would be like if you were still here. Back in September, I went to my best friend’s wedding and would you believe I “almost” caught the bouquet? I had it in my hands but it fell and some little girl grabbed it and I wasn’t going to fight her for it. I couldn’t help but think that “almost” catching it was a metaphor for my life. A life full of “almosts.“ Almost married, almost having the dream job, almost having kids, almost, almost, almost … It’s exhausting thinking about them all. I seriously have to force myself to stop thinking about them sometimes. All these “what if’s” do nothing but hurt too much and I’m tired of hurting Dennis. So everyday, I force myself to stop focusing on them and in the process learn to let go of you just a little more. I’ve learnt that “letting go” doesn’t mean stopping loving you or forgetting you. It means learning to find reasons to smile again, learning to live again, and eventually (hopefully) learning to love again. It hasn’t been an easy journey living without you Dennis, but I keep in mind that one conversation a couple of months before you died and knowing what you wanted for my life keeps me going. I’m taking things slow. Baby steps I guess you‘d call them, but eventually I‘ll get there with you holding my hand from above.

For the most part, I’ve decided to start taking charge of my life again. Starting to do things when I think of them rather than putting them off. I’ve found if I keep putting them off they never seem to get done. Can you believe, I actually started working out again the other day? I’ve been finding myself stressed out, lacking energy, and have a lot of trouble sleeping lately. I’ve only just begun but, I’m finding myself feeling a little more energized and better prepared to tackle the challenges in my life and, as you know, there are plenty. I have close friends who’s lives are in crisis - battling cancer and other demons. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. There are other issues going on right now as well, but the biggest thing I’m trying to fix right now Dennis is my relationship with my family. It’s in utter chaos. I kind of feel like ever since Dad died instead of our family coming closer together, in some ways it’s brought us further apart. We all miss him. To top it all off Mom is starting to go blind and it’s only a matter of time before she loses her sight completely. It’s kind of scary. She was always very independent and now she’s having to depend on the people around her. It’s hard to see her going through that. Plus, my sister’s going through some pretty major stuff too and I’m trying to help her through this but it seems like I can’t ever do enough. It’s all very frustrating. My family used to be very supportive and loving and I’m finding now we argue more than we ever did and I‘m not always feeling comfort in being around them. Don’t get me wrong, I love them to pieces but sometimes I think we got along better when I lived a thousand miles away. Maybe we’re still going through some “hiccups” adjusting to all the changes in our lives. I don’t know. I just hope we can all find some peace in our lives sometime soon. In the end all we really have is each other. I have to say with everything going on in my life I’m pretty blessed to have some really understanding friends who lift me up when times are tough. I‘m not sure where I‘d be without them, yet I know there are some battles in life I have to face alone. I guess in the end what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. By that token I must be pretty strong, though I have to admit there are days when I don’t feel strong. I guess when push comes to shove, I do what I HAVE to and beyond that I do what I CAN and in the end I hope that will be enough.

Other areas of my life are going okay. The sun’s started shining more but it’s still pretty cold here. I’m looking forward to spending more time outdoors this year and possibly doing some more traveling. A friend and I have talked about renting a cabin at Grand Beach for the summer. That should be a neat little getaway. I haven’t been to the beach in forever and we are both in need of a “vacation.“ I have to admit that I haven’t spent a lot of time on the ODMP lately, but I somehow have still been able to make contact with a number of fallen officer survivors. They’re stories are all so tragic but at the same time I’m inspired by the love they have for their fallen heroes and all the accomplishments in their lives. Some of them have shown me it is possible to “live” and “love” again. I haven’t found that special someone just yet, but I do hold out hope and as long as I have hope anything is possible. Life is full of opportunities and I’m finding myself really exploring them and allowing myself to “see” them in ways I’d never “seen” them before. The last couple of weeks some interesting “opportunities” have come my way. One came out of a conversation with a friend who‘s like a brother to me. He’s a really awesome chef and he’s looking at buying the restaurant he works for. He has so much passion for what he’s doing and I know he can make a success of it. I can see the difference he’s already made in that place and I’m seriously considering investing money in helping to make this dream possible for him, even though he never asked. I really believe in him and this venture, and I know I can make money off my investment but what I’m debating on is whether it’s worth mixing business with friendship. I guess we’ll see what happens. Speaking of business opportunities, do you remember those “sticky buns” I used to make for you? I remember making them as a thank you for the guys at the Law Center after you passed away and I remember someone saying, “we heard about your buns.“ LOL I had no idea you’d talked them up! I will never forget that time that Jim came up to hunt with you and I made a couple of batches. I told you there was extra and you could take some to work for the guys and you asked why we would want to do that. There were a lot of them and you told me you could eat them all. Which you did! Where you put them all I’m still not sure. LOL Anyhow, I haven’t really made those ‘sticky” buns since I left Iowa, but one day I was in the mood and I made some and brought them into work. They were big hit. Now people are actually wanting me to pay me to make them! I have no clue what to charge for them. I’ve never really made them for profit, they always just came from the heart. There’s a lot of memories that hit me every time I make them. Since we’re talking about opportunities, one other opportunity that came up recently was that I have a chance to do some volunteer work overseas. It kind of came up by accident almost and I’m still looking into what I have to offer but I’m really considering it. I’ve really had the urge to travel lately and this would give me a chance to not only see another part of the world but to make a difference at the same time. If nothing else, it would be interesting. I’ll keep you posted on what I decide. So anyway, my head and my life is all over the map these days, but no matter what my heart is always is always with you. I suppose like most people, I’m just really just trying to figure out my place in this world and I where I want to spend the rest of my life. I wish it could’ve been with you, but I guess fate had other plans for me.

I have apologize to you, I haven’t been down to visit the kids in a while, but I do try to keep in touch. From the pictures I’ve seen and from talking to them online and on the phone they are all growing up so fast. Blake now towers over Jennifer and Taylor. As usual, Blake’s still obsessed with skateboarding and friends. If only we could get him as interested in school he’d be all set! LOL Last time I talked to Blake he was playing around with a new video camera and he talked a lot about getting into bodybuilding. If he really keeps it up I probably won’t even be able to recognize him. Then again I’m having a hard time keeping up with all the changes in the kids lives as it is. It’s hard being so far away from them. I don’t know if they realize just how important they are to me. Taylor’s sprouting up fast too. She’s now a teenager! Can you believe it? She very much into the boys, her friends, and softball. Taylor looks up to Jennifer a lot and she’s even talking about becoming a cop just like her dad and Jennifer. I know she really misses having her dad in her life, even if she doesn’t always say it. I worry about Taylor sometimes because she was so young when you died. She never got the chance to know you the way the other two did, but I know she has some very wonderful memories of you and I hope she knows that no matter what she’s forever loved by you, as are all the kids. Speaking of kids, Jennifer’s no longer a kid she’s a young woman! I haven’t talked to Jennifer a lot lately but from what I got from the little contact I’ve had and heard through the grapevine she’s really going out there, living life, and chasing her dreams. I have to admire people who know what they want in life and go out and do what they can to make it happen. As far as I know, Jennifer’s still got her heart set on working in law enforcement and is enjoying studying criminal justice in college. As far as I know she’s been doing a good job at balancing school, work, and a social life. Which is awesome considering everything she‘s lived through. I know she went through a few “growing pains” getting to the place she is in her life, but I think you’d be proud of the person she’s become. I’m pretty sure you’re up there bragging to all the officers up there about all of your kids. You always did down here. I can’t imagine being in Heaven would be any different.

On that note, now that I’ve written a novel, I think it’s time for me to exit stage left! Know that I’m leaving with still so much more to say, still so much love to give you, and forever missing you.

Love always,

Joss : )

PS: I’m leaving you with two songs this time Dennis. The first one is by George Canyon. He’s a Canadian country singer and he wrote it for families of Canadian military personnel killed in the line of duty. A song hasn’t brought me to tears like this one in a long time like this one did. The way this woman felt losing her husband in the song is exactly how I felt the night you died. The message he has for her at the end, is exactly what I’d know you’d say to me if you could, so I just had to post it. The second song is by Pink and all I can say is that it’s really “our story” in a nutshell. I could’ve written it word for word. And as part of that song goes Dennis, “That last kiss I’ll cherish until we meet again …”


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WHO KNEW
By: Pink

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh
That's right
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me
Yeah huh
That's right

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them up
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Remember when we were such fools
And so convinced and just too cool
Oh no
No no
I wish I could touch you again
I wish I could still call you friend
I'd give anything

When someone said count your blessings now
For they're long gone
I guess I just didn't know how
I was all wrong
They knew better
Still you said forever
And ever
Who knew

Yeah yeah
I'll keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again
Until we
Until we meet again
And I won't forget you my friend
What happened

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong and
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again
And time makes
It harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep
Your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling
Who knew
My darling
My darling
Who knew
My darling
I miss you
My darling
Who knew
Who knew

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I WANT YOU TO LIVE
By: George Canyon

When she got the news
The phone hit the floor
She fell to her knees,
And cried his name

He had just kissed her lips,
And both of the kids
Their lives will never be the same

The end of her hardest day
The only words she could say were,
I want you to live,
I want you to love,
I want to go back to the way it was,
To hear you say my name again,
I want to see you smile again
I want you to live

It takes all of her strength
To go through his things
It feels like she's holding him again
The letters he wrote, books that he'd read
And some of his shirts still had his scent
The picture in Florida
She holds to her heart and cries out loud

I want you to live,
I want you to love,
I want to go back to the way it was,
To hear you say my name again,
I want to see your smile again,

Lying awake in the middle of the night
Trying not to let the kids hear her cry
She prays for an answer, some little of sign
And closes her eyes
And swears she hears him say,

I want you to live,
I want you to love
I want you to go on and not give up
I want you to live,
I want you to try,
I want you to know that I'm alright

I want you to fall in love again
I want to see you smile again
And again,
I want you to live

Jocelyne
"Forever Loving & Missing 26-3"

April 8, 2007

To Joceyln in memory of Dennis

I am the mother of Officer Bryan Tuvera, SFPD fallen officer whose end of watch was 12/23/2006. You wrote a beautiful comment under his page and I am just now getting up the courage to begin reading some of these reflections. My heart goes out to you for your terrible loss.

Bryan was newly married to a wonderful, beautiful young woman. He had only been married 2 months, was only 28 years old and was planning to start their family together early 2007.

He was shot in the face by an escaped felon who was wrongly placed in a fire work camp without any perimeter fence, thus promoting his escape. The felon had been a 4 time repeat felon (all crimes classed as violent) but somehow got placed incorrectly in one of those camps. For almost 2 years after his escape he terrorized his old neighborhood until that frightful night he shot Bryan. Our lives have been forever chaned and our freif and heartache seems to worsen as time goes on.

My heart goes out to you as you never got the chance to marry Dennis. I am sure that the two of you had wonderful memories together though that you will cherish always.

I just wanted to send this note to say how sorry I am for your loss, to thank you for taking the time to write such beautiful words under Bryan and to let you know that others are thinking of you today (and always).

May yur life flourish and your memories continue to bloom.

Love
Sandy Tuvera
Mother of fallen officer Bryan Tuvera SFPD #1941
EOW 12/23/2006 - 12 years to the date of his own father's death

May they all be patroling the gates of heaven together

Sandy Tuvera

April 8, 2007

WHOOPSIE!

I misquoted the quote -- lol Also mispelled your name -- sorry Jocelyne.

"We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails"

As we say here in Newfoundland: "long may your big jib draw!"

Hugs,
Kathy

Kathy

March 3, 2007

Hi Jocelyn:

It's been a while since we've touched base but I read something in today's newpaper & thought of you.

"We can't control the wind but we can adjust the sails."

I think you epitomize this quote.

Hope you are doing well.

Your friend,
Kathy
Newfoundland

Heavenly hugs to Dennis.

Kathy
friend of Jocelyn

March 3, 2007

JOCELLYN,
I HAVE BEEN AN OFFICER FOR ALMOST TWENTY YEARS AND WAS UNAWARE OF THIS SITE. UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS POINTED OUT TO ME AFTER WE LOST A FELLOW OFFICER, KEITH DRESSEL ON 2-21-07. KEITH LEFT BEHIND HIS BEAUTIFUL WIFE AND TWO SMALL CHILDREN. HE WAS TAKEN IN AN INSTANT BY A SINGLE SHOT. THAT FIFTEEN YEAR OLD BOY BROKE OUR DEPARTMENT'S HEARTS AND SENSE OF SECURITY. MY 13 YEAR OLD SON SAID TO ME TONIGHT, "MOM I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW YOU MAY GO TO WORK AND NEVER COME HOME." AS A MOTHER, AS A SINGLE MOM OF TWO, AS AN OFFICER....THAT MOMENT JILTED MY HEART. I CAN ONLY PRAY THAT THE LORD KEEPS US ALL SAFE AND THE SENSELESS VIOLENCE WOULD STOP, AT LEAST SLOW DOWN. I CAN TELL HOW MUCH YOU LOVE DENNIS. WHAT A WONDERFUL GIFT YOU WERE BLESSED WITH. UNFORTUNATELY I THOUGHT WHEN I MARRIED IT WOULD BE FOR A LIFETIME...IT ONLY LASTED 14 YEARS. ALTHOUGH YOU DIDN'T HAVE THAT LONG...IT SURE SOUNDS LIKE YOU SHARED A TREMENDOUS LOVE. BY READING THE REFLECTIONS I CAN TELL YOU HAVE A WARM HEART AND YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. I BELIEVE DENNIS WANTS YOU TO BE HAPPY NOW TOO. I SENSE HE LOVED YOU SO MUCH AND THAT HE WANTS YOU TO CONTINUE LIVING LIFE TO ITS FULLEST. HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE LOVE IN YOUR LIFE. KEEP HIS LOVE WITH YOU BUT PLEASE ALLOW YOUR HEART TO OPEN AGAIN. YOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE INSIDE THAT IS A GIFT TO SHARE. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M FEELING AND THAT I'M NOT UPSETTING YOU. IT WAS 7 YEARS AGO MY COUSIN WAS TAKEN IN A CAR ACCIDENT. TRUCKER WENT LEFT OF CENTER AND HIT HIM HEAD ON. HIS WIFE WAS DEVASTED. SHE LOVES RICHIE AND ALWAYS WILL.....BUT SHE WAS ABLE TO OPEN HER HEART AGAIN AND FOUND LOVE AGAIN. HER HUSBAND LOVES HER VERY MUCH, AND LOVES HER AND RICHIE'S TWO BOYS. PLEASE FIND HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE. I WILL PRAY FOR YOUR AS WELL AS ALL OFFICERS AND THE MANY PEOPLE AFFECTED BY THEIR DEATHS.
HEART TOUCHED IN OHIO, Brenda

Brenda, TOLEDO POLICE OFFICER
TOLEDO POLICE DEPARTMENT, OH

February 27, 2007