Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Deputy Sheriff Dennis Ray McElderry

Davis County Sheriff's Department, Iowa

End of Watch Friday, January 3, 2003

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Deputy Sheriff Dennis Ray McElderry

Joceylyn,

I just read the reflection that you left for my husband Kevin. I do not check this site often, as it is so hard still. I just wanted to thank you for writing, and express my sympathy for your loss as well. I am sorry that you did not get the chance to marry Dennis, and that he was taken away from you so suddenly. I was only married to Kevin for 11 days, but they were the happiest days of my life. I continue to miss Kevin every day, as I'm sure that you do with Dennis.

Please take care of yourself and know that you are not alone.

Best wishes,

Holly Carroll-Lamm

Holly Carroll-Lamm
Wife of John (Kevin) Lamm EOW: 1/1/98

January 4, 2007

Although I have been lucky, twice now, to still have my husband, I still come to this web site to remember the other officers that weren't so lucky. You left behind a fighter (Joss) and from all the reflections she has touched many people. You will never be forgotten....
LEO wife


wife of jackson county deputy

January 4, 2007

Hi Hun,

It's me again. You know it's been four years now since you've been gone. That's longer than the entire time I knew you. I can't believe it's been that long. Somedays it seems like it was just yesterday since I last saw you. Other days it seems like it's been forever. Even with all the time that's passed you're still forever in my heart. I haven't forgotten about you. From the looks of it you might just be stuck with me. LOL

Anyway, Dennis my times running out here. I've been having computer problems and I'm at the library catching up on your site. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today as I do everyday. There's so much more I want to say, but I'll save it for when I have a more private place to pour out my thoughts. Know that I'm always thinking about you and loving you. Tonight I will light a candle in your memory and remember a man who touched my life in so many ways you can't even imagine.

Love you lots,

Joss :)

PS: In good ol' Jossy fashion I'm leaving you with a song. Sometimes songs say so much more than I ever could.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Artist/Band: LeAnn Rimes
Lyrics for Song: Probably Wouldn't Be This Way

Got a date a week from Friday with the Preacher's son,
Everybody says he's crazy, I'll have to see
I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came,
I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves
I'm probably going on and on it seems I'm doing more of that these days

(Chorus:)
I probably wouldn't be this way
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad
I never pictured every minute without you in it,
Oh you left so fast,
Sometimes I see you standing there
Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch
Sometimes I feel I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me moments grace
Cause if I'd nevber seen your face
I probably wouldn't be this way

Momma says that I just shouldn't speak to you,
Susan says that I should just move on,
You oughta see the way these people look at me,
When they see me 'round here talking to this stone,
Everybody thinks I've lost my mind but I just take it day by day

(Chorus)

I probably wouldn't be this way,
I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,
I never pictured every minute without you in it,
Oh you left so fast,
Sometimes I see you standing there,
Sometimes I feel an angels touch
Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me a moments grace
Cause if I'd never see your face
I probably woudln't be this way
I probably wouldn't be this way

Got a date a week from a Friday with the Preacher's son,
Everybody says I'm crazy, guess I'll have to see

Jocelyne Brar (Winnipeg, MB Canada)
"Forever Loving & Remembering 26-3"

January 3, 2007

Dennis, this is just for you. I hope your enjoying your well deserved time in Heaven.

From a friend who won't ever forget you.


Knocking on Heaven's Door
By: Gun's & Roses

Mama take this badge from me
I can't use it anymore
It's getting dark too dark to see
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

Mama put my guns in the ground
I can't shoot them anymore
That (warm white cloud) is comin' down
Feels like I'm knockin' on heaven's door

Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door
Knock-knock-knockin' on heaven's door

A Friend

January 3, 2007

Jocelyne~
Just wanted to say Hi and let you know I am thinking about you as this 4th anniversary passes~
I've read the many wonderful reflections you've left for families. Your words are always so comforting~

Richie Grant
Wife of David Grant/EOW/5/31/04
Tuolumne Co. Sheriff's Dept.
Sonora, Ca.

January 2, 2007

Three years have passed and I know your loved ones have thought of you every hour of every day during that time. For some the time has gone by very slowly and yesterdays seem so long ago, but you have not been forgotten nor will that ever happen. Continue to keep watch over your loved ones and stand at their side and protect them. You will never be forgotten.

Bob Gordon
Father of Fallen Officer: Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

January 2, 2007

Merry Christmas Dennis! I am sure all of you boys are having a huge celebration up in Heaven! Thank you so much for your wonderful Joss! She has made such an incredible impact on so many people since you have been gone! I hope you still remember to visit her and wrap your angel wings around her giving her strength, hope, love, and encouragement!

Very much love,
Jessi Garger
Fiancee of Cole Martin
EOW 4/25/03

December 25, 2006

Jocelyne-
Thank you so much for writing on Scott's reflection page back some time ago. I am so sorry that I have not contacted you sooner. I was reading Dennis' reflections and when I read the song that you left, I just lost it completely. Those are words spoken directly for others like us.
Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and yes, this is one of the hardest times of the year for my girls and I too, and you have the anniversary of the accident coming too. I will continue to pray for you and Dennis' kids through these rough times.
Thank you again.
Sincerely, Micki Bryant

Micki Bryant
Wife of Fallen Officer Scott Bryant EOW 5-17-2004

December 16, 2006

Dennis, I unfortunately never had the honor of meeting you but have come to know you through your love, JOSS! What an amaizing man you must have been and how you are so greatly missed. Your sacrifice, like all of our angels in blue, will never be forgotten will always be honored! God Bless you and your family, friends, co-workers, and of course your Jocelyne! She's one of a kind just like yourself. And I thank you and Ryan for bringing us together =) Until we all meet in Heaven, thanks for watching over us!!

Amanda
Dep. Ryan Seguin's fiancee' EOW 2-15-06

December 7, 2006

DEAR DENNIS,I TO HOPE THAT YOU AND MY BROTHER HAVE MET.YOU ARE SO MISSED BY YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.THIS WILL BE OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS WITH OUT TONY.IT'S SO HARD,I JUST WISH WE COULD SKIP IT ALL TOGETHER,BUT I KNOW TONY WOULD'NT LIKE THAT AT ALL. WE STILL HAVE TO HAVE CHRISTMAS FOR THE KIDS. THEY ARE WHAT IS KEEPING US GOING.JOSELYN,THOUGH I DON'T KNOW YOU,I THINK OF YOU OFTEN.HOPING THAT THINGS ARE GOING WELL FOR YOU AND DENNIS'S KIDS. OUR CHRISTMAS WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. EVEN WHEN TONY WAS IN IRAQ, WE HAD OUR LAPTOP SET UP IN THE LIVING ROOM SO HE WAS WITH US. NOW ALL WE HAVE ARE OUR MEMORIES. THANK GOD FOR THAT. HE WAS A BIG KID AT X-MAS,ALWAYS HAD US LAUGHING. THOSE MEMORIES WILL ALWAYS BE WITH ME. I HOPE THAT YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS.AND HAPPY NEW YEAR. I WILL TRY TO REACH YOU THROUGH THE DEPT. THAT YOU LISTED. UNTIL THEN.
SISTER OF FALLEN OFFICER ANTHONY (TONY)ANDREWS

Madonna Andrews
friend

December 2, 2006

Hey Babe,

Things have been pretty stressful the last month or so. You know why. I know you’re there watching over me, but God I wish you were here. You always knew just what to say or do to make life seem that much brighter. You were my strength. You were my biggest cheerleader even though you refused to wear the skirt and the pom poms! (Sorry scary image. LOL) In all seriousness with you by my side, I felt like I could do anything. Yes, I know you're still by my side in spirit but you know it’s not the same sometimes. You know, I think it was last year that I stopped wearing my wedding ring. I know you bought it for me to wear, but for some reason it just didn't feel right wearing it anymore so I took it off. I do wear it on anniversaries and on days that I’m especially reminded of you, but lately I’ve been finding myself wearing it more and more. Stress I guess. It’s funny but somehow that ring reminds me that you’re still with me and in some strange way that knowledge gives me strength to face whatever challenges life throws at me. I call it my Hercules ring. Thanks for giving me strength even from a distance and thanks for sending me the song below just when I needed it. Not once, but three times these last few weeks! Call me crazy, but I know you had to have a hand in sending it. It’s an older song and with timing and the words well … all I can say is thanks for waiting on me and thanks for loving me. Even from a distance you’re amazing.

Love, hugs, and all that good stuff!

Joss :)

PS: I'm sure you already know all the "gossip" but I'll write you a proper update sometime soon.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

FOREVER LOVE
By: Reba McEntire

The first time I laid my eyes on you I knew.
We'd spend this life side by side.
I still feel the same though you're so far away.
I swear that you'll always be mine.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we'll be together.
Forever love.
I won't give up.
No matter what.
I'll be waiting for you.
Forever love.

Minutes and hours and years may go by.
But my heart knows nothing of time.
So don't cry, just keep me right there.
In your dreams.
And hold on to these words of mine.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we'll be together.
Forever love.
I won't give up.
No matter what.
I'll be waiting for you.
Forever love.

Love is the road to our destiny.
Nothing can change what is meant to be.

Forever love.
I promise you.
Someday we'll be together.
Forever love.
I won't give up.
No matter what.
I'll be waiting for you.
Forever love.

Jocelyne
"Forever Loving & Missing 26-3"

November 22, 2006

reading all these reflections brings back good memories
always remember the job you did here did make a difference
the ones around you will always be a better person for being around you thanks for a good job rest in peace my brother in law enforcement

November 21, 2006

HURT by Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

[ these lyrics found on www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you


Your Second

November 14, 2006

I was just reading your comment left on off. Cook of the metro police.It was very nice .My husband and Tom worked together through the town of Riverdale.My husband was also killed in the line of duty. Your words touched me to look up your fiancee Dennis . God bless you and your loved ones . Maureen Rolniak (Det.William Rolniak eow 2-4-04)

October 18, 2006

Dear Dennis,It's been awhile since I've came to your site.I think of you Joselyn often and hope you are doing well.Joselyn I had a dream that Tony came to me and held my hand. He told me that things would be ok and he was happy. He asked me to help take care of his kids. He said I have to go I can't stay,I begged him to. he looked so handsome. told me he loved me and everybody,and he was gone. It seemed so real to me and made me feel a little better.It's been almost 6 months my heart aches so bad.I just keep thinking about that dream and it comforts me. I wish I could have that dream every nite. I hope that you are doing well. I think of you often. Keep me in your prayers please. Your always in mine. Madonna Andrews,Sister of fallen officer Anthony (Tony) Andrews

Madonna Andrews
Friend

September 24, 2006

Dennis,

I can still remember that night that me you and Shawn, was in the dispatch area when we were told that there was 10-80 headed south on 63. I can remember all of our faces were smiling as we ran to our patrol cars. We were so excited, we loved getting involved with the action. That was the last time I saw you. You are missed…

K9 Officer
Cresco Police Department

September 9, 2006

To Jocelyne Brar:
I am a police officer with the Denver Police Department. I was reading the reflections left for our latest lost brother, Donny Young. I came across your reflection and it struck me. I was a police officer in Ottumwa the night the chase started. I waited on the outskirts of town hoping the coward would come back so I could get in on it. I will never forget that night, the night a brother I didn't know was taken from us. I want you to know that you and your family are not forgotten, will never be forgotten, and will also continue to be in my prayers.

Officer Cameron Moerman
Denver Police Department

August 30, 2006

THE TIDE

The tide recedes yet leaves behind bright seashells in the sand,
The sun goes down yet gentle warmth still lingers on the land,
The music stops yet echoes on in sweet refrains,
For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.
~ author unknown

Jocelyn & the McElderry Family: I pray that each & every day you bear witness to some of the many joys this side of Heaven still holds of your Dennis who, by everyone's estimation, was truly an exceptional, father, sweetheart, son, brother, deputy and friend.

Your friend,
Kathy
Newfoundland & Labrador, Canada

Kathy McIsaac
"across the miles" friend of Jocelyn

August 25, 2006

It has been over 3 1/2 years since your tour of duty ended and I know the many broken hearts left behind still mourn your loss. They will always have that special place in their hearts where you will live on. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten as heroes never die. Keep watch over your loved ones and protect them from harm, also keep watch over those still out on patrol watching over the Thin Blue Line.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Chicago Gold Star Father

August 24, 2006

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God"

- Matthew 5:9

August 13, 2006

I attended the Iowa Law Enforcement Academy's 172nd Basic Class with Dennis. He was a wonderful and kind-hearted man who was also very dedicated. As the oldest member of our class, he was affectionately nicknamed "Grandpa" and was truely an insirpation to all of us. Davis County and the State of Iowa lost a wonderful law enforcement officer, but those of us in the 172nd also lost a wonferful friend.

Officer Travis Kramer
Dubuque Police Department

August 10, 2006

Jocelyn I can only say you and your memories of Dennis have touched my heart so deeply. I sat here today and read each and every line of both sites. I want to hug you and tell you that every thing happens for a purpose and whose purpose and time we all hope to find the answers to in heaven. I am sure that words and such do little to help but you have just added another friend to your list to help you get through this life.

To all others who read these passages your daily pain is only a reminder to us all that there are many who give freely of themselves every day for our safety and our freedoms.

Laurie
new friend of Jocelyne

July 7, 2006

It is evident that Deputy McElderry is loved and greatly missed.

Jocelyne: After reading your heartwrenching messages, I want to share something with you.

Don't worry about saying "Goodbye."

One day, you and Dennis will say "Hello" to each other.

You'll never be separated again.

A Heavenly Reunion awaits you. It will last forever.

God bless you.

RLG

Rachal

July 2, 2006

Dennis,

The last couple of days have been tough. Yesterday was the first Father's Day without my dad, the fourth without you. Today would've been your birthday. So many memories left behind. So many memories left unmade. It hurts sometimes thinking about it all. I wish you could be here to see all the things the kids are doing in their lives. They are growing up so fast. I know it may not always seem obvious but, I know they miss having you in their lives. Even with your dad, their step dad, and other's in their lives helping to fill in some of the gaps that were created the minute you died, sometimes it's still not enough. No one will ever be able to fill your shoes in their lives or in mine. I know that you're still here watching over us all, but it's still not the same as you being here and being able to hear your voice, see your face, and hold your hand. God I miss all that. I miss you. Know that as long as I live you will always be loved and you will never be forgotten. I think that says it all. Happy Father's Day and Happy Birthday Dennis! I love you.

Love, hugs, and all that good stuff!

Joss :)

PS: Give my dad a hug and tell him we all miss him down here too.

Jocelyne
Dennis' Fiancee

June 19, 2006

Dear Joselyn,Thank You so much for the reflection that you left on my bother's memorial page.Your words touched my heart,I couldn't stop crying. I'm so sorry for you loss.My heart aches for you also. Our Guys were very special,weren't they. When I read it I had to go to your Dennis's page. I read all the words you wrote to him.They were so special.It showed how much you loved him and his children. I love this page it comforts me.I find myself talking to Tony all the time and I know he hears me. I miss him terribly. I know that you have that same ache in your heart as we all have for Tony. we called him Tony short for Anthony. He was my heart.And now that he is gone I just don't know what to do with myself. Their was a cerermony last wednesday in which they presented his wife Marsha with a Medial Of Honor,and my Dad with a flag of fallen officer's. They also inducted him into the police hall of fame. I'm so proud of him.He was a great brother. I'm older than him but he has always watched out for me and protected me. I feel so lost without him. we had gotten so close when he went to Iraq in 03.I was so scared for him.I swear I didn't sleep for almost two years. I was a basket case.But he made it home to us. I was so releaved. W e all were. He always wanted to be a police officer,he got that from my dad. My dad is retired mobile police dept. My dad is really taking it hard. we all are,we have had so much bad in our lives. I lost my sister 24 years ago,she died of a seizier. My mom has has two anuyrisims of the brain and i have spina bifida. we have had it hard all of our lives,but I think this is one of the hardest. We have been so blessed also.we are a very close family.When Tony went down that morning,the officers and the chaplin showed up at our door.I just knew that he had been shot,I would have never guessed that something like this could happen.He was on duty and working out for swat with his best friend and partner,and collapsed, his partner did cpr until the medics arrived,the couldn't get a pulse but kept trying, they shocked him and got a pulse. We got to the hospital and didn't leave until seven days later,when they said that their was no brain activity,they took him off the ventorlator. He kept breathing for 121/2 hours. his heart was so strong.he passed at 425 that mourning.we still didn't know what had caused the death,until the autopisy.He had a 90/% blockage of the aorta. so it was a massive heart attack.He had a military and police funeral, It was what he wanted,and his favorite song was played,It was Vince Gill's GO REST HIGH ON THAT MOUNTAIN. He always told us that was what he wanted played at his funeral.I'm sorry to keep going on and on.But it helps to talk about him. I really wanted to thank you ,you helped me so much with your words.I wish I could leave my e-mail for you ,but it's not allowed.So maybe will meet one day. I will always think of you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Our special guys are watching over us,I can feel their presence,and we will see them again. I KNOW IT. Take care,YOUR FRIEND Madonna K.Andrews

Madonna K. Andrews
Friend

June 12, 2006

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