Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Daddy,
I was sitting her fiddling around on-line and came across a song while downloading some others. As soon as I heard it, it all just made sense. I've heard it dozens of times, but this time it just touched me. It's exactly how I feel about you, and I MISS YOU SO MUCH DADDY!!!!!!!!! There's a part that says "taking them for granted"....well, I didn't take you for granted, but I sure did take our time for granted--I thought I'd have your love forever, see you and I both grow old, share many more years as your baby and your daughter.

Daddy, I hope (GOD PLEASE KNOW!!) that you know how much I love you, not just now, but how I loved you and looked up to you and just thought you were everything while you were here!!! You were everything, daddy! You were my dad, my friend--Everything. I mean, my life is wonderful right now, but even wonderful is pretty ugly and sad without you. I miss your love so much! And, I miss my friend. I needed you as much as you needed me, and I still need you. Dad, I wish I could have had a lifetime with you, not just my life time. I know that 27 years is a pretty long time, but when I start crying and missing you, I still feel like 27 years was nothing...it went by so fast! And, I'd give everything to have you back again. My boys are 6 and 4 and it seems like yesterday that they were born. It seems like no time at all! Why does time do that--fly by and steal people?

Daddy, I love you, and I miss you...and I always, always will. Thank you for sharing your life with me, too. It was so beautiful, wasn't it?

Here's the song. Reading it doesn't do it justice. (I know you know the melody.)Please know more than anything that I HAVE ALWAYS VALUED YOU AND YOUR LOVE!! YOU WERE IMPORTANT AND SPECIAL AND WONDERFUL TO ME, AND I VALUED YOU AND LOVE YOU STILL!!!

YOUR GIRL ALWAYS,
YOUR DAUGHTER, NIN
XOXO



Everything I own...Dan Wilson's Cover of A Song by Bread

You sheltered me from harm.
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years i ever knew
Were all the years i had with you

I would give anything i own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything i own,
Just to have you back again.

You taught me how to love,
What its of, what its of.
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way,
And i knew from watching you.
Nobody else could ever know
The part of me that can't let go.

I would give anything i own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything i own
Just to have you back again.

Is there someone you know,
You're loving them so,
But taking them all for granted.
You may lose them one day,
Someone takes them away,
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything i own,
Give up me life, my heart, my home.
I would give everything i own
Just to have you back again.

Your Daughter
I miss you, daddy!

March 5, 2006

A smile came to my face today while thinking of you and our love and fond memories. Thanks for making me "SPECIAL ONE" IN YOUR LIFE!

All my love
Betty

March 2, 2006

Good Morning Honey~ Wanted you to know that I love you so very much and I miss you more then I can say. Happy Valentine's Day. Take care until we see each other again.
Your SPECIAL LOVE (ER)

February 14, 2006

Hi Daddy,

Well, it's your birthday, daddy. Happy, happy birthday! Even at 52, you'd still be so handsome and beautiful! I wish I could see your face again and kiss you one more time, especially on days like today. I hope you know how special you are to us, today and every day. It's been a really sad day for us here, but I hope that your day in heaven was the happiest you've ever known.

I began writing this letter to you for Christmas and now it's your birthday. It's been so hard to come here lately, just really painful. Here you are in heaven on your 52nd birthday. I NEVER thought this would be happening. I still can't believe that you're not with us anymore. You've been my dad my whole life and now I don't have you, how am I suppose to accept that? How can I heal when there's nowhere for this love to go. Daddy, I wish I could make some sense of it; I think that would help me tremendously, but it just doesn't make sense. Why did this happen to you? Didn't God know how much we would miss you and how much we need you? It's so hurtful, dad. It's the cruelest thing I've ever endured in my life, and I just can't make sense of it. My only peace comes in knowing that you're happy and at peace and that you're waiting for us. I know that you're in heaven and have no worries now, but I really think that it hurt you deeply to leave us too. Walking away from this world and seeing the boys, me, mom and Gail left behind to learn to live without you...I know it had to hurt you deeply. I'm sure you were happy and at peace as you walked out of this life and into that one, but I can't help but to think that you were sad knowing what you were leaving. We need you and miss you and love you so much, dad. I think the only way that me, Gail and mom are able to live like this is that we know that you're with us, helping us along.

The boys and I brought you flowers today, and they made you cards. We sat out there for a long time talking to you. Tanner decided that he didn't like me crying at your grave so he was going to build a machine to bring you back. And then he said that he wanted us to buy you a birthday cake and throw it up to you. :( Cole stood there and rubbed my hair as I cried over your name. I touched your name and told him that he was named after pop-pop, and he said, "Yep, that says William Cole Wright," as he pointed to your name. We call him William a lot. We started that after you died. It's my wish that he'll go by William in a few years, or at least William Cole. I joke around with people and tell them, "Why did I name my bad kid after my beautiful sweet daddy!" Well, at your EOW get-together I said that to Uncle Chalmers and he said, "honey, you didn't know your daddy when he was that age. He was just like him." That made me feel good. If he keeps this up though we're gonna have to change his last name and kick him out of the family because you'd never allow your child to be a disrespectful punk or criminal...and he's on that path. I'M KIDDING! he's not that bad. He's just a handful--a tough behind, as you would say!!! On the other hand...he IS going to make a fine Marine one day. I'm certain that you'll be seeing him on the parade deck at Parris Island in about 15 years. He's just the toughest kid and he is squared away already. He likes neatness and order; he's very strict about maintaining his routines. Tanner...well, I'm sorry to break it to you, daddy, but he'll have to be in the Air Force. He doesn't like to sweat or get too physical and he cries like a girl if he does. We're hoping this changes...and SOON. :) You'd be so, so proud of him for other things, though, dad. He is the smartest kid you'll ever meet. His tests scores are really high and he amazes his teachers. I know your chest is bursting with pride when you hear him talk about things. He just freaks us out sometimes at the stuff he knows; it's scary. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...YOU. It breaks my heart all that he has been dealt and what he continues to deal with. He didn't take medicine today and said it was the best day of his life. UGH! It kills me. Help him, if you could. I know I should be praying to God, and I do...but be his angel and help him. Please.

Please, please don't ever leave them, dad. Not any of them. I miss you being a pop-pop to them. I miss seeing you with them so much! I miss hearing that weird voice you made with them and how you gave into their every whim. I miss how you looked at them and how you kissed them. I just miss it all, and it's just so unfair. What's even more unfair is that Gail has given you two more grandchildren since you've been gone, and you'll never get to hold them and they'll never know your love. It is heartbreaking! You would love them so much, dad. Peyton is the most beautiful boy I've ever seen; he's gorgeous. I told Gail that you would get a kick out of him; I can see you holding him and enjoying him if I close my eyes. It's just not fair! He's got this silly laugh and these delicate long fingers. He calls me "mi-mi" and he just LOVES me, mom and Tanner so much (Doug and Cole are another story. He's scared of Doug, and Cole is bullies him; they're like sparring partners). He's definitely his daddy's boy--tiny body but can really put away the food. And then there's Dechlan....MAN, that kid's got a big head. That's exactly what you'd say, too. He's a beautiful baby, though. He's got Gail's nose, and I love it. We felt you there when Dech was born (with both of them actually), so I know you know what I'm getting ready to tell you. Anyway...a few hours after he was born, the nurses were washing him off and we happened to take a picture of it. I was flipping through them on my camera and saw the baby's face and started crying. I immediately showed Gail and she started crying too. This brand new baby had your face, dad. He was making that face you made when you were disgusted with something. We were both balling and crying like babies looking at it. It hurts us that you're not here, but what you left behind is such a blessing, a gift from God. Not only do we have your grandchildren, but we also have pieces of you. These babies are the last pieces of you on this earth, and we are so lucky to have been given these precious gifts. We hold onto that dearly!

This life is just so cruel, dad. It's cruel knowing that these boys will never really know you, unless it's in a story and that they'll never know your love like we did. Gail and I were so lucky to have been loved by you for all those years, but our boys--your boys--will never have that or know how wonderful it is to be in your arms. I'm so glad that Tanner remembers you. It's a huge relief for me--knowing that he'll always know what it's like to be loved by you and remembering how much you loved him. That is a blessing. (And, I know it makes you happy, too. He was your first, and that made him extra special to you. I remember asking you why you didn't get as happy to see Cole--he was a newborn--and you said, "cause I don't know him yet, honey. Honnneeeeeey, don't be mad. This one's my first, that's all." It bothered me at the time, but now I understand what you meant.) No matter how much me, mom or Gail want you with us, please be with the boys--all 4 of them. Mom, Gail and I know your love, so make them know your love, too. You were your happiest in life when you were with them, and I know that they make you just as happy now.

There is just so much that I'd love to be sharing with you, dad. I'd love for you to see me back in school. I know with all of my heart and soul that you would be so proud of me, as always. I tell Doug sometimes that I hope you're with me, seeing the grades I'm getting and beaming with pride at your Daughter. Doug said that you'd be up there bragging to our family and your new friends about how your little girl is so smart, just like her daddy. :) I hope that's true--not because I want to think I'm smart but because I'd love to know that I'm making you proud. When I applied, I had to write an admission's essay about my life, and my essay was about you--the gift of being your daughter, the pain of losing you, and the things I've learned about life (and people) since you left. It was an amazing paper--the very best words I've ever written. I didn't think they'd admit me--the standards are higher than when I went 10 years ago. You say that I have a way with words, well..those words were about my love for you and they were beautiful. It was an outstanding essay and...I was accepted. I just finished my first semester, and I made 3 A's and 2 B+'s. My GPA was 3.75 (out of 4. that's a really good Gpa). You always told me how proud you were of me for doing well in school--you called me "BRAIN", and I hope that this time is no different. I made a promise to you and mom that I would finish school, and I will. I can't tell you how proud you made me by getting your diploma, daddy! And, I want you to feel that pride when I do it, too. Every time we move (stop sucking your teeth) I hang your diploma in the center of my living room with all of the other awards and medals you received. You've just done so much to make me proud, and now I live to make you proud, too, daddy. I love you and miss so much, dad. Ugghhh. This hurts. I wish I could feel you hold me in my dreams again.

I also wish you could have been there to see us buy a house. I know you saw it already though because of the dream you gave me, and I know you're so happy for us. One of Doug's friends at the firm called him about a 2 yr old house that was tremendously under priced because the guy was closing on another house in only a few weeks. We looked at it and fell in love and closed in 3 weeks. I know how much you hated us moving. You REALLY hated to see us live in that trailer at the school. It hurt me to hear you beg me not to live there, but that's all we could afford. I know you didn't want us living like that, but we had to for a few years. When we bought this place, mom told me about the conversation ya'll had about moving into that trailer, how much it broke your heart. She said that you'd be really proud and happy for us. I know you would be. You'd love this place. You'd really love the craftsmanship--the flooring, molding and cabinets, especially. It could use more space, but what house couldn't?

You would have been so proud of your son-in-law, dad. Doug put together the kids' playset all by himself (mostly). It only took him about 40-50 hours; it's wood and it's enormous--the kids like collecting bugs on it and playing batman, forget the slide and swings. I know that he could have used your help, but he did it!!! You taught him well. He used your tools to build it, so you WERE with him in a sense. Now, if you could have only taught him how to use a paint brush and a saw. :) I miss you, daddy. It has been wonderful living here; I just wish you could have seen this place with me. It hurt me so much seeing your disappointment when we were looking at the trailer. You were disgusted that your babies would live in that place, but you would really have loved this place. I'd love to see the smile you'd have watching the boys run and play in their very own backyard. Mom bought the boys the playset as a "housewarming" gift. She also took them (and us) to Disney world this summer to fulfill the dream that you and she had to take them there. She told me that you two had talked about taking the babies there without us (gee thanks) and seeing their faces when ya'll drove up. Well, she did it, and it meant a lot to her to be able to do that. I wish you could see her. She's been so successful at her job that she'd really be able to take good care of you two, and you'd never have to worry about not having money for rent or bills ever again. She misses you so much and is so miserable right now. It doesn't matter how great everything else is because she is just so sad! Thank God that we take turns at falling apart because the three of us would be of no help to each other if we all fell apart at the same time. Oh, daddy we miss you!

Last year went by so quickly. We're going on our fourth year without you, and life just continues to show us how cruel it was that you died when and how you did. You're missing so much daddy, but I hope you see that your place in our lives and in our family will never be replaced. We remember you and keep you around us always! Peyton even knows you know and he's not even 2. We remembered you this holiday season. Gail and I had blue lights up. Mom had blue lights, too, and then her whole tree was done in blue ribbons and a GIANT blue ribbon at the top (all 9 feet of it). Were you laughing when she bought that thing? That's the pollock in her that you loved. Doug wanted to do the outside of our house in all blue lights--EVERYWHERE. It was ridiculous. I told him that you know we love you and don't need to look like the Griswald's Christmas to show it. I just wish you could be here with us. The life we all shared is not over though, so just wait for us. It's just so cruel that you're not living it with us and that your grandbabies won't get to grow up being loved by you like Gail and I were. Make them feel it though. We tell them how much you loved them, but make them feel it. Again, I think we all are only able to live like this because we know you're always with us.

Daddy, I hope you know how much you're loved and missed. I can't tell you how much I miss having you here. You were my best friend, daddy, and I just miss you. I miss our dates, our calls, our gossiping, our venting...they put a Starbucks in town and I thought about you and how I wished it were here when you were alive so we could go there to talk instead of La-Ha, Sticky Fingers and everywhere else getting fat. I just miss you, daddy!!! You were an amazing dad!!! Thank you for loving us the way you did and for never letting us forget that Gail and I were your girls. You were such a tender, loving, amazingly beautiful dad. You were the best dad and friend that Gail and I could have ever asked for. I am thankful to God that he gave you to us as our dad and that we were given to you as your girls. Gail and I could not be prouder or love you more, and we are so lucky to have been loved by such a great dad! WE are the lucky ones!!!

Well, I guess I'll finish this book I've written. :) Never leave us daddy, and never ever forget how much we love you or how proud we are of you. WE ARE SOOO PROUD OF YOU, DAD!!! I hope you had a very happy, beautiful Christmas in heaven and could feel our love for you that day (and always). And, I hope that your birthday was even better!! We love you, and we miss you with all of our hearts. Never forget that. I know that we'll all be joined with you again one day...and then our family will be complete...and forever. Daddy, you and your love is enough for us until we get to where you are.

Happy Birthday, Daddy. My beautiful special dad. We'll be loving you and missing you always.

All my love always,
Your Daughter, Nin
XOXOXO

His Daughter
Valarie Bell Wright

January 4, 2006

Honey~
Wanted to wish you a very HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY!!! I miss you and love you so very much and think about you daily.Honey our memories keep me going.Take care baby and know I will see you again.

With all my Love
Betty

January 3, 2006

Happy Birthday William...I know you're celebrating in Heaven!! Keep watch over your family. They all love and miss you very much.

With love,

Carole,
Val's friend

P.S. Please give Chris a BIG hug for me and tell him I love him!

Carole Garner

January 2, 2006

Hi Daddy!!!

I'm writing you a letter right now--this isn't it. :) You know me...it takes me 2 days to write anything decent, so bare with me til it's done. I just wanted you know that you were in our hearts and on our minds all day, and we missed you sooooo very much!!! Christmas, and our family, isn't happy or complete without you. We just missed you so much; Me, Gail and mom were all on the verge of tears all day. GOd, this hurts so much!!!!! Please know that your love is special and you will always hold this place in our hearts and in our family. We miss you so much and can't wait to be with you again.

(I promise to finish this letter when the kids are in bed.)

I love you, daddy. My beautiful, beautiful daddy. WE love you! Merry Christmas.I hope it was the most beautiful day you could ever dream of.

Your Daughter...Nin XOXOXO

Nin
Your Daughter

December 25, 2005

To Patrolman William Bell, his family and friends, and fellow officers.

On this the third anniversary of your tragic death, please know that you are not forgotten. Your valor and dedication will be forever honored.
Rest In Peace, Patrolman Bell.

In reading the many relections left for you, it is obvious that you were so loved by your family...that they did and always will adore you. That is such a legacy for anyone to leave. It is not anything any amount of money can buy, but it is the most priceless thing on earth.

May your family continue to be cared for by their law enforcment family and other police survivors.

This reflection is sent with the utmost respect for the distinquished service Parolman Bell gave to his community and the citizens of South Carolina, and for the supreme sacrifice he and his family made on November 19, 2002.

Phyllis Loya, mother of Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD eow 4/24/05

November 20, 2005

Hello Baby
I first want to tell you have very much I love you,and how much my heart breaks missing you. Somedays are better then other and today is one of those days. I truly cherish what we had,the love you gave and the memories I will forever hold close to my heart. Know that I will never forget,those evenings we spent sitting on the couch and floor just sharing some very special times together laughing about those precious babies and our own girls, and the bond of love between to people who fell in love so many years ago. Thank you for always being there for me and the kids, for being the GREATEST FATHER & POP-POP and most of all for showing my heart how very much I love you. God Bless you always, Rest in Heaven until we see each other again. I LOVE YOU HONEY!

Betty

November 19, 2005

Dear Valerie,
i read your message and i just wanted to say thanks.it is good to know once in a while that other people such as yourself know what i`m going through.
and i know my daddy is proud of me and i know that your daddy is proud you too.I believe that they are good friends up in the heavens above.Also they are watching over us both.

P.S.Take care Valerie!!

Taylor Jones
daughter of Cpl. Mark Jones

October 30, 2005

Hi Daddy! I am sitting, extremely lonely tonight. Wishing I had you to talk to. So much has happened since I last wrote you. I gave you another grandson. Then again Im sure you knew that.He makes faces and he looks just like you. God gave me a piece of you. I look in his face and I find myself crying because its like looking at you. I get sad when I think that I will never get to see you with my babies. But I find comfort in the fact that you loved my babies before I even knew them. I wish i could feel your loving arms around me. I miss you so much. I miss hearing you call me Miss Michelle. I miss hearing you saying Im just like you, thats why im so beautiful. lol. I miss going to dinner, and heading to the bookstore just to spend time together. Thank you for watching over me and my babies. I so want my boys to know you. I want them to look to the stars and think of their pop pop. Because you are their star. You are my star. I love you, daddy. You are never forgotten.

Gail Bell Santavicca Daughter

September 5, 2005

Hello Baby~ Well our wish for our grandbabies has happened and I could feel you smiling down at each step they took thru Disneyworld!Oh what joy on their little faces seeing Disney characters and taking pictures with them, riding ride with such gleem on their faces. Tanner & Cole did not want to leave they wanted to stay they cried when we had to say goodbye. One morning I went out on the steps of our resort hotel to just sit and think and I looked up to the sky's to see you smiling,what a happy day for me. Knowing I was able to complete what you and I had set out to do, take the babies to Disneyworld! Honey I know you seen their faces,shared in the rides they went on and played hard with each of them. This is truly a memory they will never forget and it's because of the promise made to them that they would go to Disneyworld. Thanks honey for making this dream come true and for always being with us.We must always believe and then make it reality. I love you and miss you.Until our time together again I will say just to contiune to watch over us, and we'll be together again one day. I love you and miss you more then anyone can imagine. Thanks for making me so strong to carry on in this life without you. Loving you forever.
Betty

July 30, 2005

Hey Honey~
I know as you look down from Heaven upon us,you see the excitement in our grandbabies eyes,the trip to Disneyworld where we made plans to take them. We will be leaving in a few days and the joy on there littles faces are priceless! Tanner is counting down the days with a calendar I gave him to mark off the days left.I know you will be with us sharing in the fun,which had been planned long ago.I love you and I know you will be there with each of us to share in these special moments with our grandbabies.Loving you always.
Betty

July 10, 2005

And Daddy,the most important thing of all......... I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

Always,
NIN
XOXOXO

His Daughter

June 21, 2005

Hi Daddy,
Happy Father's Day! I hope your day in heaven was full of love; I hope you felt all the love we are sending you--today, especially.

From the moment I woke up today I have thought about you, daddy. And, it's killing me now having to write this. I miss you in such a desperate way. I just can’t stop thinking of you and missing you. I told myself that I couldn’t leave a long message on here because thinking about not having you here is killing me! But daddy, I couldn’t let this day go by without telling you I love you and that I thank you for loving me as your daughter and your friend.

Daddy, our friendship was so special to me. You and I were truly best friends. Thank you for allowing me to see inside your heart and love you and know you and have you as a friend. You didn’t just let me see inside your heart, but you trusted me with holding all that was in it. I miss our talks and sharing our every triumph and pain with each other. Just thinking about the fragileness of your heart just breaks me into a million pieces. I wish I could have just held your heart in my hands to protect it from everything that would hurt it, but God took you home to heaven so he could do that himself.

I also wanted to thank you for sharing such a beautiful and sacred bond with Gail and me—the bond of father and daughter. Our every heartbeat of our lives has been spent as your babies that bonds us with you for life. No relationship I’ve ever had can compare to what I’ve shared with you, except the relationship that I now share with MY children. It was truly one of my life’s greatest blessings to have been your daughter; I could not ask for a better dad in all the world. Thank you for never letting me live a single day without knowing your love, respect and pride.

Daddy, I also wanted to thank you for the life you gave me. You worked so hard so that we would have what we needed; you gave so much of yourself physically at that job, and I know it took its toll on you. I wanted to tell you that I appreciate all you did for us. I also wanted to thank you for being the kind of man that so few men have been. You were such a good example of what a good person should be—loving, respectful, hard working, law abiding, caring of others. Gail and I could not have had a better model than you and mom; I hope our own lives have proved that you did a good job at raising us. All that you had hoped for us to be as people is all that we strive to become. We live to make you proud, and I hope that you are. Daddy, thank you for blessing our family by being a good father, husband, provider and friend. The love that I saw in you and mom and the love that you gave to me through all my life were my life’s greatest examples of love, and I just want to thank you so much for that.

Daddy, I also wanted to let you know that you were remembered today as a Pop-pop, too. The happiest I’ve ever seen you was when you were being a “pop-pop”. You knew no greater love. Tanner and Cole had a card for you today. Tanner thought we were “taking it to you in heaven”. Isn’t he sweet! He was sitting on your grave today talking to you; I hope you heard him. He really, really misses you. Please follow each of your babies’ footsteps; they sure are busy little things, each one of them. Please be with Tanner in his struggles. You know what they are. He was the light of your life, and you’d be absolutely amazed at how smart he is and how sweet he is. I know you’d be real annoyed with how “delicate” mom and I have made him. Help us with that, ok? He’ll NEVER be a Marine at the rate we’re going. Stay close to Cole. I know that he must make you smile and giggle with his roughness and his brazen little attitude. Mom says that you would really, really enjoy him right now with the way he acts—tough as nails, sweet as sugar. I know if you could, you’d be throwing him around the floor wrestling him and laughing your silly laugh at him. I can hear you now saying that he was “ONE BAD HOMBRE!” Be with Peyton and Dechlan. I know that they aren’t into much now, but I promise that will change soon. Peyton is just the prettiest baby boy I’ve ever seen. He’s too pretty to be a boy, and I know you see it too. When he pokes his little lip out and cries when he’s told “no”, doesn’t he look like your pee-pie? He reminds me of Gail in that picture of her standing next to the wall when she was about 3. He’s just so beautiful! And Dechlan…he’s so new I don't even know what to ask except that you just be with him. Watch all your babies as they grow. They all wish you a Happy Pop-Pop’s day, in their own little ways.

Well daddy, I guess I’ll say goodbye for now. I hope you had a wonderful, wonderful Father’s Day in heaven. I really hope that my words reach you wherever you are. I mean every word. Gail and I were truly blessed to be your little girls. Thank you for being our handsome, handsome daddy! We miss you more than ever. We are proud of you beyond words.

Please don’t ever leave us until our family is together again…

All my love,
Your Daughter
Nin
XOXOXO

His Daughter

June 19, 2005

Honey~ Happy Father's Day in Heaven! I love you and miss you.

Betty

June 19, 2005

My heart goes out to all the loved ones of William Bell. When I read some of the reflections, my heart broke. I know what it's like to lose someone, whom you love so deeply. I lost the love of my life, Josh, almost a year ago. Life has been so difficult to live without him. The peace that Josh is resting with the Lord and the love that we shared together is what gets me through each and every day. I am so sorry that you all have had to experience this tragedy. It's always so sad to hear about another fallen officer's story. It is evident that William was loved so very much. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. William is always with you in your hearts. To William's daughters, I send you all my love, support, and prayers.
Sincerely,
Kelly Gillain

Betty,
Thank you for your encouragement and support. I appreciate all of your kindness and thoughtfulness. May the Lord comfort you in all your times of sorrow. Love, Kelly

Kelly Gillain
Sig. Other to Deputy Sheriff Joshua E. Blyler EOW 5.2.04

April 26, 2005

Lynn,
Thank you so much for your kind words. My dad was a beautiful person and loving father to my sister and me. It was a blessing to be raised by him and loved by him for all those years, but it was truly a gift to be his friend as an adult. Our special friendship and his amazing love were (are) two of the greatest blessings in my life.

Thanks again for writing.

Valarie

Valarie Bell Wright
His Daughter

April 18, 2005

I came to this site to leave a msg for
Valerie cuz she leaves the sweetest
messages on other sites. Then I
started reading the reflections from
her to her Daddy. They make me cry,
especially her last words to her
Daddy before he died. God is good.
He really has given us a precious
gift in the Holy Spirit and if we are
open to Him, we see how He has
helped us in ways we couldn't have
imagined. I'm glad your Daddy was
a Christian and that you have that
assurance of seeing him again. I'm
glad that he treated you like his
princess and that you have such
special memories of him. I never
had that and am happy for you and
a bit envious. But I have a heavenly
Father waiting for me up there who
loves me beyond what any earthly father could. God bless you on your
healing journey and keep leaving
your sweet messages for others
who are hurting. Nothing teaches
like experience. John 3:16
Lynn Kole
Washington State

April 12, 2005

My fiancé, Dennis McElderry, was the first law enforcement casualty of 2003. Dennis was a Deputy Sheriff with the Davis County Sheriff's Office in southeast Iowa. Dennis died doing a job he loved, just as I'm sure William did. It saddens me to know that Dennis was not the first to die in the line of duty, nor will he and William be the last to die this way.

Having gone through the pain of losing Dennis I can truly understand and feel the pain that Officer Bell's family, friends, and co-workers must be feeling. My heart goes out to you all. No one can truly understand the pain of our loss until they've walked in our shoes. Please know that my thoughts are with you.

Please accept my condolences on behalf of the McElderry family and myself. From reading the many reflections posted here, I am certain Carl was well respected and well loved. We should all be loved as much. It is apparent that his "spirit" touched many lives. You were blessed to have had him in your life, even for a short time.

Thank you Patrolman Bell for a job well done and for helping to make this world a safer place for us all. I had the opportunity to meet Betty at Police Week last year and to talk to Valerie once or twice online, they ar both great ladies who miss you dearly. Please continue to watch over them as only you can. Give them strength from above to face everything that life throws at them. If you happen to bump into my late fiancé Dennis please say "hello" him for me.

Wishing you brighter and better days,

Jocelyne :)

Jocelyne Brar (Winnipeg, MB Canada)
Fiancée of Deputy Sheriff Dennis Ray McElderry - EOW (01/03/03)

March 27, 2005

Loving and missing you more each day,baby!!

March 2, 2005

Hi daddy. I pulled up the ODMP and you were the officer spotlighted on the bottom of the page. I was on-line talking to Gail when it happened and told her. We both said "awwww." We miss you so much! I guess you wanted us to know you were here with us too. We miss and love you, too, daddy!
Always,
your girls, nin and pee-pie XOXOXO

Your daughter

February 15, 2005

Oh daddy! I miss you so much right now. I heard a song on TV and started balling. Hearing that song made me remember the last time we saw each other. I closed my eyes and saw everything again in my mind. I remembered the littlest thing, and it made me realize that you were really gone again. I remembered you wiping your lip after drinking tea. (I know you're sucking your teeth over the fact that I chose to remember that, but ....that's what came to mind.) Your napkin folded, the way you did it as long as I can remember you. I remember you leaning in the door to hug me one last time, and you touched the small part of my back when you did. I remember you laughing and being in awe of Cole's curly hair. I woke him up so you could see him. Thank God I did. I thank God for so many things about you, but especially about our last goodbye. It was thinking about you wiping your lip and me touching your arm that made me hurt inside--a terrible hurt. Realizing that I am NEVER going to see those things again. How I hold on to remembering you wiping your mouth with a napkin? That meant nothing before you died. But now, it's everything. THAT IS MY DADDY! Just one of the things that DAD did, one of the things I'm gonna miss forever!

I just miss you so much right now daddy. I'd give anything to have you here for a minute. I think I'd spend most of the time letting you spend time with your babies, kissing them and touching them. YOu are missing out on so much! It kills me seeing how much you are missing out on with them. You got to be with me for so many years, and only got to be with them for a few. Three years is nothing...but yet it's all I've got of you with them, so it's everything to me!It's so unfair to them and you both! I'd give anything to see how proud you'd be of these babies. I know you are, but I want to see you look at them with pride the way you looked at me. I just miss my daddy, and I miss you being their pop-pop. Oh God, why did this happen??!! I'd give my life to see you again daddy, but my boys need me so much!! I'll never stop missing having you here, and I'll never stop loving you!

Daddy, I just needed to talk to you for a minute. I am missing you terribly and I need to go cry myself to sleep to get over this. I know that when I wake up I'll have new things to worry me and won't think about these things, so I guess I'd better hurry to bed.

I just needed to let you know that it's not just the big things that I miss about you...or even the little things. I miss your everything, Daddy! I love you with ALL of my heart.

Always,
Nin

P.S. Happy Valentines Day, dad. I know I don't need to wish you any love on this day because you're filled with it and surrounded by it where you are! But here's a little more anyway...I love you. KISSES AND HUGE DAD HUGS!

Your daughter

February 14, 2005

Today I thought about our trips we took fishing. How I don't eat chicken or steak, but how you taught me to love Slim Jim's (of all things) on those trips. So proud standing next to you at the counter as you bought our bait and mine and Gail's soda and slim jim's. Laughing now as I remember you standing over the engine with the boat oar, hitting the crap out of it trying to get it so start. I'm still laughing. You use to wake us up so early, but we didn't care. Gail and I were so happy to have you to ourselves all day, even if we couldn't talk much because we were "scaring the fish away". Remembering you teaching me to "go" in a bucket. I told Tanner about that and he thought you were so funny. I can't help but laugh and be so thankful for all the silly memories now. They made me laugh when I thought of you today.

I miss your everything, daddy.

ALL my love...
your girl

(Phillippians 1:3. You wrote that on a piece of paper for me in church one time. You told me to look it up to find out what it said. Thank you. I love you, too.)

P.S. I hope you heard Tanner in the hallway the other day. He's going through a lot and he misses you so much. Help him daddy. Come to him and remind him how much you loved having him.

Nin
Your Daughter

February 4, 2005

Happy Birthday Honey! Hope you had a wonderful day in Heaven being with all of our loss loved ones and new friends you have made since leaving us. Please contiune to watch over me as I feel you with me. THANKS for answering my prayer with Valarie's dream. I told her from the moment we lost you that when you found she was at peace you would be there and you where!The boys miss you dearly they talk about you all the time, I know you hear them sweet babies and can see them growing, we miss you and love you and will be waiting to see you again when we make that journey to Heaven.Bye for now I LOVE YOU!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

January 4, 2005