Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Scott,

I'm sorry our special day was turned into one of mockery. I spent the 19th in pain.

I love you,
Monica

October 5, 2003

Scott,

I consider this page very helpful in conveying my feelings to you. Everything I write comes from my heart. I talk with you daily and you know I still love you very deeply.

If I didn't love you I wouldn't come to this page and I wouldn't talk or think about you everyday. If I didn't love you I wouldn't defend my love and memory of you. I've been told to bury you forever and never mention you again, but I refuse to do as I am told.

The area you would have wanted isn't completely open. I'm lost in regards of what to do. I have tremendous love and respect for that area, but I cannot force myself in. I have to be welcomed completely. Because of you, I'll keep some hope.

I will always remember and reminisce about you. Not a day goes by that I do not wish we could have completed our dream. I think about how our life could have been everyday.

My emptiness has not been filled nor have you been replaced. No one can ever replace you in my life. No one can replace anyone. I believe people are irreplaceable.

We talked about loving each other no matter what the other did. You said you wouldn't leave me for any transgression even infidelity (to my surprise), and I felt the same about you.

During your life you were the only one in my heart and on my mind. You didn't share me with anyone and you knew that. No one will ever possess me the way you did, completely.

You changed me and taught me things I never knew existed. You were the only man I ever fully trusted and felt safe with. I never knew what "true love" was or how beautiful a relationship could be until you showed me. You were the romantic one, not me.

Everyone loves you tremendously. It is obvious you have touched everyone's life in some way. The pain of losing you is still fresh and slow to heal. Be with everyone and give them some type of relief from the pain they feel. They need you more than I. I have always stood on my own and taken care myself. I was very thankful to have almost 2yrs of rest as you took care of everything. I know you will not leave my side for to long and will always come when I call.

Love Your
Honey Bunny

October 5, 2003

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between a dog and a man." — Mark Twain

You lifted many "starving dogs", some bit you, most didn't. Those that didn't, appreciated your love, friendship and LOYALTY, and those will be the ones that miss you the most. Such is the nature of life and our work my friend. As Mike said, time may pass, but the memories will last a lifetime. Until we meet again......... Rock on, Rock out!!!!

October 3, 2003

Scotty,

We went to your favorite place to eat on the 19th. There was a group of us. It would have been the place that you would have gone that night to celebrate. We know how much you loved Applebee's. The Arringtons, the Marcarians, and some of your friends toasted you all night. Had you life not been taken away you would have been there also. Debbie and I talk about the last conversations we had with you. Your concerns were certainly proven. I know that you are watching over us and you are smiling a huge smile at all of our decisions.

Mom and dad are doing the things we hoped one day they would do. They just went on a great trip and had the most wonderful time. I know that you watched over them and were happy that they have found some happiness. It was like the trip we were planning for them. They miss you very much.

We are getting on with our lives, but we think about you every day. We still ask ourselves why did it have to be you. Jordan still talks about you all the time. I am so happy that we were able to spend that year in Michigan before you died. It gave Jordan and I some quality time with you that we wouldn't have had if we lived in Pennsylvania. I miss talking to you. Keep the girls safe.

We love and miss you,
Andrea

Andrea
Sister

October 2, 2003

WHERE WILL I BE
~Dave Griffith~

Where will I be when you need me,
Where will I be, tell me where will I be.

When you are alone on the dark street at night,
When you are awake full of anguish and fright,
When a loved one has gone to a land far away,
When you need a soft touch and to hear, "It's O.K."
Where will I be, tell me where will I be.

When stars look like planets as you gaze at the sky,
And your dreams are so sad they bring tears to your eyes,
When the winter comes around and the snow starts to fall,
Everything is so white and the trees stand so tall,
That you need someone to hold you close by,
And dwell on these thoughts, you start to cry.
Where will I be when you need me,
Where will I be, tell me where will I be.

When problems arise and you need to talk,
When all you need is a friend and a leisurly walk,
When worries enter your mind and won't part,
When you really need me I'll be in your heart.

There will I be when you need me,
There will I be, that's where I will be.

I'll be there to comfort when your heart is weak,
I'll be there when troubles and sorrows you meet,
When inward pain tears at your heart you can know,
I live in your heart and I'll strengthen your soul.

There I will be when you need me,
There will I be, that's where I will be.



I love poetry. I find myself searching for poems that convey what I feel in my heart, what you might feel, and what other's would/might feel for you so I can put them on your page.

I find when I cannot find the words to convey my thoughts a poem says it for me.

Love Always,
Monica

October 2, 2003

SCOTTY,
THE CANOE TRIP WAS ANOTHER ONE FULL OF MEMORIES THAT WE WILL ALL REMEMBER FOR A LONG TIME. WE PLACED YOUR CAMPING CHAIR BY THE FIRE WITH A BOTTLE ON IT. I WOULD LOVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE REST BUT YOU REMEMBER THE RULE "WHAT HAPPENS AT THE CANOE TRIP STAYS AT THE CANOE TRIP". NEEDLESS TO SAY BUT WE WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOUR MEMORY WITH US AS WE ALL CONTINUE DOWN THE RIVER FOR MANY MORE YEARS.

BECAUSE OF YOUR LOSS THE PAST YEAR HAS TAUGHT ME TO APPRECIATE PEOPLE MORE AND ACCEPT THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE, NOT FOR WHAT I WANT THEM TO BE. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF HOW YOUR FAMILY HAS EMBRACED YOU CO-WORKERS & FRIENDS AND TURNED THEM INTO THEIR NEW FAMILY MEMBERS. I'M SURE THAT YOU ARE WATCHING HOW MONICA IS TAKING STEPS FORWARD AND YOU ARE LOOKING ON AS SHE GOES DOWN HER NEW PATHWAY OF LIFE.

THEY TELL US THAT AS TIME GOES BY YOUR LOSS WILL GET EASIER AND THAT MAY BE, BUT I'VE ALREADY PROMISED MYSELF THAT AS TIME GOES BY I WILL NEVER LOSE THE MEMORIES WE SHARED.......

M. KUNATH
STERLING HEIGHTS P.D.

October 1, 2003

Love Will Endure

Many things in the world come upon us, causing fright.....
Inside our hearts, as in our beds, we sleep at night.
One day, the Lord, will come back and fright will be gone.
For, with a loving Savior, LOVE LINGERS ON.

He will ever stand beside us; He will be our constant guide.
When His wrath is set upon the enemy, there will be no pride.
Love, ONE ANOTHER, is what our heart tells us to do. Be pure...
For, LIFE IS SHORT AND ANGER IS LONG, BUT LOVE WILL ENDURE.

LOVE ENDURES ALL THINGS; it is without fault. LOVE IS PURE.
Dread, trespasses and enemies, be ye guarded and demure.
Hold steadfastly to goodness, be long suffering and meek.
IN YOUR HEART, LET IT BE LOVE AND GOODNESS YOU SEEK.

Sin is weighty and causes pain that brings us to naught.....
As though in a waging battle when a raging war is fought.
But, goodness brings silver linings, illness a cure.....
But, one thing we can be sure of ~ LOVE WILL EVER ENDURE.

LOVE IS WITHOUT MALICE; IT IS EVERLASTING AND TRUE.
It's all we want to live for, in all the things we do.
So, let us be faithful to our Savior; let us be pure.....
Because, in the heart of Jesus, His love will ever endure.

by
Pearlie Walker

Monica

October 1, 2003

Stewie, I will not disgrace your memory with eloquent words that mean nothing or talk about what "may have been". Our friendship spoke for itself, without words, catchy little cliche`s, or palavering. Your death has left those who truly loved you with an emptiness that can never be filled or replaced. Your friends will watch over your Mom, Dad, Sisters and Neices, so you may rest easy my friend.

September 30, 2003

Scott,
I went to see you on our wedding day. It was hard for me to be there.
I kept thinking how I should be doing my hair or make-up at that hour instead of standing in the cold rain looking at your grave. I'm glad the weather was nasty because it made the day a little easier. I hope you had a hand in that. I returned to counseling the day before. I thought I could handle things on my own, but I was wrong. It's hard coping with your death alone.

I just want to be happy and keep my love and memories of you. Is there anything wrong with that? Just because I have a couple blessings in my life does not mean I forgot or stopped loving you. Life is short and I want to live what's left of mine to the fullest. Is that wrong? I know you will always be with me and will watch over my blessing.

One day I will die and join you in heaven, and on that day I do not want to look back and realize I wasted years in melancholy and alone. I know you would not want that. You would want me to be happy just like I would want you to be happy. True love is wanting happiness for the other even if you can't be the one to give it to them. I know you love me very deeply.
Afterall, I was the only woman (except your mother) you ever said I love you to and the only one you ever wanted to make a life with.

A friend believes you helped send the blessings into my life just like his wife sent his. Neither you nor Jess would want to see us alone and unhappy. Both of you would want someone in our lives to bring us the love and happiness you and her brought. I believe that because you hated to see me unhappy or upset when you were alive.

I wish I could talk to you face to face. I miss you soooo much. I still cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I think of what you are doing and smile because I know you're happy. I see you in heaven canoeing on a lake surrounded by trees and mountains, or sitting on a beach drinking a wine cooler. I know that would be your heaven. One day I'll join you there.

I heard this song today and it made me cry because the lyrics are what I feel.

Since you've gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it's you I can't replace
I feel so cold and long for your embrace
I keep calling baby, baby please.
(Sting)

Love Always,
Monica
Scott Stewart Fiancée - Detroit Police EOW 8-11-02

September 30, 2003

Scotty,

Debbie and I just went to the COPS Sibling Retreat. We had a wonderful time. You would have loved it. We had to climb ropes and poles and Debbie and I felt that you were climbing with us. Every time we looked out over the lake into the mountains we thought of you. I hope that you are with some of the brothers and sisters of the siblings we met this past weekend. They were all great people. Our stories so similiar and so sad. You were in our thoughts all weekend, but we laughed as we told stories about you. We both miss you and we are both doing better. You are always in our thoughts. We miss you and love you.

Andrea Arrington
Sister of Scott Stewart EOW Aug. 11, 2002 Detroit Police Department

September 27, 2003

Scott, not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here with us now. I learned so much from you as an officer as a person and as a friend. I know we would share a lot of laughs,as we always did, and I know you would be able to put alot of things into perspective. In alot of ways you're still teaching me, and I'm still learning from you, even now. All sorts of good police work has taken place that I know you would be proud of. And the crazy stuff that happens on the street has only gotten crazier-Pal, you would love it. I hope that you are proud of the way your family and friends have reacted, we've tried to handle it as best we can. There's one thing I can't say I'm sorry about enough and I hope you forgive me.One day we'll meet again and catch up. Untill then, brother, take it easy....

Scott
D.P.D.

August 21, 2003

Its hard to believe that it has been just over a year since you were taken from us. You would be so proud to see how your family and friends have bonded and helped each other thru this terrible ordeal. And your sweet Monica, what can be said about her that hasnt already been said? What a strong and incredible woman she is to have been able to move on with her life so quickly since your tragic death. So many of us pray for the strength that you have blessed Monica with. Watch your family and friends from above Scott, they need your strength. Please continue to watch over Monica as she prepares to enter motherhood and give her the strength to continue to forge ahead with her life.

To Stewie's Family,
Thank you for having the beautiful memorial tribute to your Scotty's life. What a touching reminder that he will always be the great son, brother, and friend to those so lucky to know him. What a gift it was for each of us to share in that special evening, the true meaning of your dedication to his life and our memory. There is no question where his courage and kindness came from. Not to mention, his tremendous sense of humor. Remember all the great times you can muster, when people or things try to detour you. I know that the strength that you have carried for this year will be with you to get you through the rest. Just as your Scotty will never leave your side.

Anonymous

I am so thankful Scott's murderer got what he deserved. I have gotten to know Monica over the past couple of months. I am so proud of her for testifying in the trial. After losing a fiancee', son, brother, and friend, I am sure it was hard on the whole family to go through the trial. My prayers are with you.

I am glad Scott had found his love in Monica, just wish they could have said their vows before he was taken. But, I know in their hearts they did! It is not the vows that make the couple, it is the love they share. Love knows no bounds. I will continue to lift Monica and the rest of Scott's family up in prayer as they now get to try to take the next step, as the trial is over. I pray you take every step with God.

Denise Nichols-surviving spouse
Alabama State Trooper Brian Nichols EOW 2/17/2002

Scott: I read that your killer was recently sentenced to life in prison, and that your fiancee Monica was very brave and courageous in testifying at the sentencing. You must be so proud of her for continuing to serve and protect the community where you were killed. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for Monica and your family to continue their shattered lives without you, and will keep them all in my heart and prayers and hope that happiness and love find a way back into their lives. Rest in peace, dear hero - thank you for your service.

Cheryl Varner
Daughter of R.W. Varner, Jr. (eow 01/02/89)

We'll Never Say Goodbye

I cannot see you
with my eyes
or hear you with my ears.

But thoughts of you are
with me still
and often dry my tears.

I think of happy
times we shared,
and then I softly sigh.

But this I know - -
we'll meet again
and never say goodbye.

(Larry Howland)

Scott,
It's been a year since your death. My life has moved forward even though I didn't want it to, but I know you would want me to be happy. You hated it whenever I was sad or disappointed. I know you are with me guiding my life and helping me to make the choices that are put before me. I can hold my head up high knowing that everything I have done this past year would not have disappointed you. You know my heart is always with you and there is not a day that I don't think about you. One day we will be together again. I started with you and I'll end with you. I don't need you physically here with me to keep our love alive. It would be nice to have you here because if you were this past year with all the heartache I endured would have been just a nightmare. I miss your touch and kiss. The safest time I ever felt was when you wrapped me in your arms. Our relationship and love was beautiful. Through good and bad we handled everything the correct way.

I went to the location you died and had a small memorial. Many people did not want me to do it, but the one thing that pushed me to do it is I know you would have done it. I know you more then people think. I know the true, deep, dark and light Scott. That Scott would have went to that neighborhood and had a vigil to honor his fallen comrade. Not only for the act of honoring him, but for the unspoken statement made. I know out of all the memorials given this past year you would have loved that one the most.

Everyday I look at your pictures and talk with you. I ask for your guidance and then I sit and meditate. I think about you and what you would say about the situations arising in my life and from that meditation I act. You were a true realist and very logical, and because I know that about you I know what you would tell me if you could. I know when you were alive you wanted nothing more than for me to be happy and except for the fact that you're not here, I am. My true happiness would be if you could hold me again, but that'll never happen and I have to accept it. I have no choice, but I do know I will be with you again one day.

If you get there before I do,
don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through,
I don't know how long I'll be.
But, I'm not going to let you down,
darling wait and see.
And between now and then
Till I see you again
I'll be loving you,
love me.

Monica
fiancee

Oh Scotty they say it gets easier as time goes by, I don't find that true at all. I think setting through the trial, seeing your killer every day hearing about that night and knowing it DIDN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN just brings every thing back.My one comfort is knowing it will be in jail for the rest of his life. I know I will never forgive him.
It has been a year, I miss and talk to you every day.
On your one year we had a get together, 85-90 people came spent the evening thinking and talking about you, heard some more stories, never tire of that. Lots of CHOCOLATE.
Hope you are very happy up there, thinking of you, with love.
Love Mom

Audrey Stewart
Mother

Scotty,

We have gotten through the first year of you being taken from us. There is not a day that doesn't go by that I do not think about you. I really miss your hugs and our debates. Your friends and co workers have been a great source of comfort for us, their stories about you have helped us laugh this past year. You have some very loyal friends, they don't want to see your memory disrespected at all. I am sorry that it was. My only comfort is that you would have made the right choice had you been able to live to make it. You will always be in my heart and my mind. Jordan and I talk about you often. She has grown attached to a couple of your friends. I hope that they will tell her stories about you as she grows up. Keep watch over your family and true friends, we will not let you down. We love and miss you.

Andrea Arrington
sister

To his family and friends-Please know you are not alone-nor forgotten.
V. Monier
Widow of Scott Monier
EOW 4-24-02

Vicki Monier

Scotty,

One LONG year...Sarah and I just wanted to say that we miss you and LOVE you. Sarah keeps telling me funny things about your trip to Tucson for the wedding (like the many trips to the Home Depot for flowers). Everytime we pass the "banana" Palo Verde tree she laughs. It's things like that, that make you special Scott. Again we LOVE and MISS you and think of you everyday!!! Till we meet again.

P.S. I lost a close friend/classmate in the line of duty on Memorial day this year. His name is Tucson Police Officer Patrick Hardesty. Say "Hi" to him for me!!!

K&S

Deputy Kurt Dabb
Pima County Sheriff's Dept. Tucson, AZ

Monica,

Every time I come to this site, I want to say something. But no words ever seem to fit. You obviously know that I did not know Scott, but what I once said was true, I really wish I did. I wish I were so lucky. No matter if these words seem "right," I just wanted to tell you, I am thinking of you, and of Scott. Not just today. I want you to know that we are all here for you, I wish I could just give you a huge hug right now. I know it cannot take any pain away... but sometimes it gives a little comfort. Please remember that you are in all of our thoughts and prayers. Stay safe. I can't wait to see you again. -Katie

Stewie... Your friends, family and co-workers have remained LOYAL to you. We miss you and will never forget.

Anonymous

It has been one year since you have passed away. I am sure that as you watch over us you have seen a lot this past year. I am truly sorry that some people have really let you down this past year. I hope that you know that your family and friends miss you dearly. Not a day doesn't go by when we don't think about you. I hope that you are happy and know that we love you and miss you like you probably can't imagine. You keep watch over those who have been true to you and make sure that they stay safe. I love you and this weekend has been a very difficult one. There will be many tears shed for you over the next 24 hours.

Love you,

Anonymous

As today comes to a close tomorrow will bring us a full year from you. Not a day has passed that your family and friends have not grieved for you. We are so fortunate to have known you and so blessed to have called you a friend. We will treasure our memories together and always be filled with sadness that our time was cut so short. The tributes and memorials are so fitting, as you lived your life as a man of honor, courage, and integrity. After getting to know your family, it is no surprise. Their compassion, generosity and sharing have allowed us to keep going. We will miss you every day and honor you the rest of our lives.

Anonymous

Stewie, you will always be in my heart and I will never forget you or the fun times we had as a crew. If I had one wish I would wish you were here with us still.I know your spirit will forever remain with us and the memories will never fade away. I know you're with GOD now and you're watching over us.

PS The stewart's will always be in my thoughts and prayers. I love you all.

P.O. Dana Russell
DPD