Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Dear James,
I just don't even know how to start. It's been so hard knowing your gone, and knowing that your not here with us, you still watching over us makes it some what better. But never will anyone ever know how much this family has been through. I just can't stand to think of how much Mom, Logan, Dave, Mark, and everyone else hear with us strides through everyday thinking of you and crying. I wish so much that one day of my life while I'm still here that you can just come and see me for a few hours. I can tell you the first thing I'd do is take you straight to Logan. You ment so much to this family. It's like your super glue, you kept us all in tact with love, faith,happiness, and gave us all a smile everytime we saw you. That day in the hospital, God sent a simple message to me in my heart. I felt like as if he was speaking straight out, then I finally notice that life is just to short to fight, yell, and never have a good time We all need to stop worrying and make life worth while. I wish this world would stop all that. I wish we could have fun like you did all the time AHAHA. But maybe that will ever come, but someday god has a plan for all of us and I ask him just one favor, "Let me see my loved ones again!" I love you James so much, I just can't stop crying writing this letter. But anyways I know you won't ever want me to cry you'd probably call me a "wussy!" AHAHA I stride everyday with your in my mind, heart, and soul looking for a way to get closer to you everyday. I'm gonna be a pilot when I grow up. I changed from a Paramedic to a pilot. I just have this love to fly. And I count it as everytime I go in the sky I'm one foot hill closer to you, Dad, Pa, and everyone else in Heaven. I hope and practically know that you'll help me through school and help me make my dreams come true. I know you'll be with me all the time. And I love to know that you are the kind of person that helps everyone out and strides them on and on until they have reached their goals. Well anyways that's enough talk about my dream to "fly". Everyone down here is great. Mom is doing pretty well. We visit your grave almost every day. I guess that's our way of visiting you now since we can't come over to your house anymore like we use to. I remember all the great times me and you and the whole family had ever since I was 4. Me and Dave and Mark are doing just fine to we think of you everyday and we all very much Love you death. And even more after that. I hope one day I can make a difference in everyones heart some day just like you very well did. I just can't even count how much love you have gained your whole life. I love listening to stories about you when I was young from Mom. I also love seeing your picture smiling. It's like your talking to me just with your smile, and I love that. I hear Logan is doing great! I am so proud of her. I see her often and I love to look at her face and see your reflection in the background. I almost died when Dad came to be with you. But I know, like he always said. He is up there with you. I know you must of celebrated or something when Dad came walking down that lane. I could see you two now just having a blast together! AHAHAHA I always loved you and Dad together. I didn't even have to watch Comedy Central if you know what I mean. I keep a picture of you and Dad handy when times get rough. Thats when I can pull out yours and his picture and know that your with me every step I take.I love to know that also. James, I know your spirit heart and soul will always walk the pathways of Norfolk,Chesapeake,Virginia Beach and watch over all that you loved and knew and the other good people out there. I just can't even stop telling people how such a good brother,dad, and friend you were. I notice something to. No one ever gets tired of it. I love to know that everyone is sharing your spirit nation wide. I have faith in all of us down here and will soon know the real life in a few years and I hope you bare with me and guide me through each and everyday. These past holidays without you here has been hard, but we all know your here beside us helping us open our presents. But no present can ever beat the present we all got April 5, 1973. I love you so much James and I know you'll be with me everyday, every moment, every tear, and every good times we have. But never will it be the same without you. I love you more than anything. I will write often and say a prayer for Logan every night. Love you brother R. I. P.
Love,
Joe
A.K.A Little **** head AHAHAHAHAH I still remember that :-)
Good Bye for now Love you!!!!!

Joe Gilbert

All I can say is you meant the world to me. There's not a day or hour that goes by that I do not think of you. I will always love you.

Tiffany Gilbert
Wife/Widow

Dear James,
Today is Thanksgiving and traditionally you are supposed to remember and give thanks for all that you have in your life. It seems like an ironic thing to do given this years past events and the fact that you are no longer with us. How can anyone be "Thankful" when most are still in the grieving process? But sitting here thinking about it, I am thankful for many things and having the privilege of sharing many memories of you is one. You brought so much joy, laughter and silliness into all of our lives and although we are unable to create new moments, we have all the old ones stored deep in our hearts and with that you will never be forgotten. We miss you, your stories and your "UAFMF" quotes more than you'll ever know, we took them for granted when you were here and I'd give anything to have them back. Til the day we meet again, rest in peace my friend.

Remembering you always and never forgetting
Your Friend,
Dyan McDermott

Dear James,

It's almost Thanksgiving and I know how much you enjoyed this day. We'd stuff ourselves at your Nanny's and Aunt Mary's house till we couldn't eat another bite. We then would have to go to my parents and eat once again. We'd eat so much that we'd have to unbutton our pants just to feel comfortable. We did this every Christmas too.
I know your in heaven having the best Thanksgiving feast ever. Probably drinking some moonshine with Paw.

My heart still aches for you. I keep asking myself will it get any easier? But it never seems to. You try to hide behind a laugh or a smile and say your doing fine. But I'm tired of people asking how are you doing? What kind of stupid question is that? Come on!! My meaning of fine and good means something so different to me than what it means to other people. Our "I'm fine or I'm good" is making it through another day. Being able to get out of bed and hope tomorrow will be better than today. I despise the man/animal that killed you that it eats my soul away. It just makes no sense why any of this happened. Logan's doing great in her school. You would be so proud of her. She looks more and more like you everyday. She's tall and thin now, with your beautiful brown eyes. She remembers all the things you did with her. You always left a lasting impression. We miss you so much and wish you were here.

"Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy"

May you shine in our hearts forever.
All my love,
Tiff.

Tiffany Gilbert
Wife-Widow

I honor you and am blessed to have known you. Although for a short time, and I look forward to hearing of your tales and adventures when we meet again. My friend until then I miss you.

Anonymous

I miss you and I am glad I did know you. Rest In Peace.

Anonymous

Dear James,
Today is the one year mark since your passing. It only seems like yesterday, I was telling you at relief time, that I would see you tomorrow. If I only had known that would be the last time I would get to talk to you, I would have said so much more. Even now I don't think you know the effect that you had on people, and how your passing has truly altered all of our lives. The past year has brought so many changes, some good and some bad, but none the less nothing is the same. I have thought for awhile how I was going to remember you today, there seems to be so many people to please and so many rules to abide by in order for you to be honored that it is difficult to come up with something suitable. But then I realized something, our friendship didn't pass anyone's inspection, it was what we both put into it, and the only one that has to understand is you. I know that when I go to see you, and I sit there and have a Bud Light you'll understand and not condemn me nor pass judgement. You see my friend, I think people have forgotten, there is no right or wrong way to mourn, the only way is to do what makes them remember the friendship and love that they have for you. By doing that, they remain true to themselves and to you, how can that be wrong? How can it be said that what is done for you isn't good enough or you wouldn't approve when it is done with the purest of hearts? We all must remember, you are the common factor in our lives and most of us would never have met if it wasn't for you. We all miss you dearly and love you, but we must respect each other feelings and be allowed to express our grief as we see fit to respect the friendship that we had with you. So as the time draws near, I will think of you, and our friendship. I'll have a drink, a few laughs, a few tears and a thousands prayers wishing you were here. But in the end, I'll realize that I was given the precious gift of calling you my friend. I hope that this year will bring you peace in your final slumber.


Remembering you always and never forgetting.
Your friend,
Dyan McDermott

James,
I never had the pleasure of meeting you but have heard so many great things about you. I first found out about your death from my Dad. He had cut the article out of the paper to send me & before he got it in the mail, another officer had been killed....I had been married to that officer for 8 years. So Dad was able to hand deliver the article to me. I saw the picture of your grieving wife & daugther at your funeral. It broke my heart to know that someone else was going through the same tragedy.
When I found out about ODMP, I looked your name up and left a reflection. Little did I know that I would meet one of your friends (and co-worker) while getting off the bus at the Law Enforcement Officers Memorial ceremony. We exchanged phone numbers & e-mail addresses so that I could contact Tiffany. She & I have now met & talked numerous times. She is one of the people who have helped me make it through the last several months and the changes that have come with them. I want you to know that no matter where life leads her, she will never stop loving you nor will she ever forget you. She & Logan both are being loved and taken care of by that friend that I met in D.C. Even though wives move on and have someone else in their lives, the love they have for their deceased husbands never leaves. I know you have met Calvin running around up there in heaven and I hope you two have become friends. We will never forget you both....watch over us.
Your friend through Tiffany,
Denise
Survivor of Calvin E. Taylor NCHP E.O.W. 10-3-01

Denise
Friend of Tiffany's

James,

I never thought I would have to write this to you. I never thought I was going to make you a promise that would change my life forever. I will never forget September 28th. That was a day when I learned that some promises are meant to be kept. I believe that you have had a lot to do with me finally being able to keep a promise. I learned from you while you were here with us and I am still learning from you. Even though I am not able to speak directly to you I know that you have guided me through some very difficult times.

When I walk into the precinct I always say your name and ask that you be with me to help me make it through another day. I have been on calls where I knew you were with me. The presence of you put me at ease and I knew that I was going to be all right. I have seen first hand that you have watched over certain ones that you cared about and I have seen that some do not have you as a Guardian Angel.

I know when I get on the “atv” I always think about you wanting to take one more run through “mud-alley”. I would be talking about cleaning the GRIZZLIES and you would be talking about getting them muddier.

I made the promise to you in the hospital to always watch over your wife (Tiffany) and daughter (Logan). That promise will always be kept. I now see why you loved them as much as you did.

YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN.I PROMISE.

Your friend forever,
Rodney

He shall not grow old,
As we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary him;
Nor the years condemn.
At the setting of the sun
And in the morning
We will remember him!!

For James-----
I can hardly believe it has been almost a year since you left us. In ways it seems like longer. I know you are looking over all of us from your lofty spot, and just loving the fact that you are up higher!!! You will be missed for many years to come and I am glad to have shared at least a very small part of your life. Rest in peace James.

Paula Steele

Dear James,
Yesterday one of your fellow officers was shot. All I could think about was Officer Testa and his family. I prayed they would not have to go through everything we did. All the emotions came up again. I just cried and cried, thinking they too would get that unexpected knock on their doors and have to rush to the hospital like we did. As I walked into Norfolk General yesterday, I remembered what it felt like the day you died. As we got off the elevator all the Officers had a blank look on their faces. It reminded me of the pain all over again. It made me feel so good to know that these guys were by his side and comforting his family just as they were for you. Fellow Officers were still arriving as we left. I met his family and fiance Michelle while Officer Testa was in surgery. They were crying happy tears that Officer Testa was going to be ok as I cried for you. All day yesterday I worried his family would get bad news. I bet you were his guardian angel!!

I love you and thank you for looking over your brother in blue.

Tiffany Gilbert
Wife-Widow

Dear James,

I'm sorry I haven't written you in awhile. I do always write you but can never seem to send it. I know you know what I'm thinking anyway. You know me better than anyone. Sometimes I cry inside and try to keep it to myself and other times I just can't help it. I just have so many unanswered questions for God. I miss you terribly. I miss your soft touch and gentle kisses. You always made me feel so safe and secure. I know it's only been 10 months, but it's not any easier than it was the day you were called to heaven. I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure you are never forgotten.

I sometimes regret making that decision in the hospital, but you always said you would not want to live that way. I would still be happy knowing you were here, but you always told me you would not want to be kept on ventilator to live or breathe. I know you would have done the same thing for me.

Logan is doing much better. She is enrolled at a Christian School, which has really helped the both of us. She talks about you everyday. We always said her memory was like a computer. She remembers everything about you. I promise I will never let her memory of you fade or tarnish. It's been tough, but I still feel you beside us. She had her birthday party at Ocean Breeze and went to Busch Gardens a few times and to the Police Wall in D.C. several times in your honor. She has really grown and could be your twin. I thank god for giving us such a beautiful daughter. Remember, I always said she looks nothing like me, well she is all you!!!!! She just learned to ride a bike the other day without her training wheels and she's so prould of herself. She reads alot and draws alot of pictures of you.

I know your here with us. I looked at all the articles and pictures of you tonight and cried. I still feels like it's not real. I feel like were just gonna wake up and everything will be normal again.

Logan had a special picture of herself drawn at Busch Gardens of her dressed like you in your police uniform with an angel above her. She loves it. She has it hanging on her bedroom wall where everone can see it.

I heard this song the other day and it made me think about you...

"I MISS MY FRIEND" BY: Darryl Worley

I miss the look of surrender in your eyes.
The way your soft brown hair would fall.
I miss the power of your kiss when we made love.
But baby most of all I miss my friend.
The one my heart and soul confided in.
The one I felt the safest with.
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again.
And let the light back in.
I miss my friend.
I miss the colors that you brought into my life.
Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes.
I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now.
Saying it will be alright.
I miss those times.
I miss those nights.
I even miss our silly fights.
The making up.
The morning talks and those afternoon walks.
I miss my friend.
The one my heart and soul confided in.
The one I felt the safest with.
The one who knew just what to say.
To make me laugh again and let the light back in.
I miss my friend....................

I just love you with all my heart and miss you very deeply.

Your Wife Forever,
Tiffany

Tiffany Gilbert/Wife-Widow

I only met James a few times but the first time was the most memorable. He played a joke on me because he thought I was drunk...it was terribly funny! I will rememeber him because I was close with his brother-in-law,Tim and Tiffany.
He was a great Dad and husband and I know there is not a day that goes by that everyone who knew him feels a great loss. God truly does have a angel by his side watching over his children on earth.

Debi Zelenowski(friend of the family)

Family Chain

We little knew that morning,
God was going to call your name,
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
You did not go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us beautiful memories,
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.

Anonymous

Dear James,

It's been 9 months since your death. I miss you.
Tiffany and Logan are doing great. I remember when you came over after work and we went swimming! That day was fun and i will never forget it. I have yours and Tiffany's wedding picture in a frame in my bedroom. I look at it all the time. When I miss you I stand in front of it and some times it makes me cry. The day you got hurt,it was a Friday and I could not stop thinking about you during school. When I got home that day I ran home but my parents were still with you at the Hospital. When my mom got home the phone rang, everyone was silent, then my mom started crying and right there I knew it ,you were gone. James I wrote you to tell you that you are my HERO and I love you! I just wish you were here with all of us just for everybody to say Goodbye and for us to have a wonderful last time with you.God I want you to take really good care of James for us and I want you to get to know him like we all did.

Kristen Chilcott McDermott
Norfolk Police Officers Daughter

Dear James,
It has been almost 9 months since you have died. And not a day goes by without my family thinking of you. I knew that when you died God needed someone special to protect him. And he chose you as a guardian angel. I remember when you came over to go swimming and you had dunked me under the water because I called you a chicken and you were trying to look cool with your sunglasses on. I wish my sisters and I had the chance to go to the beach with you. I miss you and wish you were here. Until I see you again Rest in Peace and God speed.

Kayla Chilcott McDermott
Norfolk Police Officers Daughter

I have read a lot of reflections left for different officers since I began visiting this site following my brother, James Brian Moulson's, e.o.w. on 01/03/01. In none of the sites, not even Jim's, do I feel the intense love and unity of a family and community that I feel here. I met your family at Police Week 2002. You wife, father-in-law, and mother-in-law only briefly. Your brother-in-law and I spent most of an evening visiting about our officers. I know he looked up to you and considered you a true friend and brother. You should be proud of the great person you were.

To the family of Officer Gilbert, you will always be in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to you and if you ever venture to the west coast look us up and we can share some more great stories.

Dawn Noble

Deputy Probation Officer III
Contra Costa County Probation Department

Dear James,
It has been a week since our return from the National Police Memorial in Washington DC. I had been before, but I knew this year was going to be different, more personal, more heartbreaking. My sister flew up from Florida to go with us and pay tribute to you, her thought, it was the least she could do, for the price you paid. Although she never met you, she feels she knows you for as much as Bert and I talk about you, and as much as Tiff and Logan love you. The sight coming off the escalator at the memorial itself was awesome, thousands of officers being remembered by friends, family, and co-wokers. Seeing your named etched on that stone wall was alot harder than I thought it was going to be, but with tears in my eyes and shaking hands I did manage to get an etching of your name and to leave a few things for you. As we stood in front of your panel for the beautiful vigil on Monday, as if by magic, when the service started a perfect rainbow appeared, we knew then you were with us. Wednesday afternoon as your name was read in the roll call of heros, it was an honor to stand and represent ourselves as your friends, and made us so very proud of you, our HERO. We miss you, and there isn't a day that goes by that we aren't thinking of you. Stephie still remembers exactly where you parked when you took her to Chuckie E Cheese for Logan's birthday, and Kayla and Kristen still laugh about the morning we all went swimming in the pool with water guns. If we can't have those times back at least we have the memory's, I just wish we had time to make more. To say they world stopped turning the day you left us, might not be an exaggeration, NOTHING is the same and it never will be again. Maybe one day, all of this will make sense and have some sort of reason behind it, but for now it doesn't and we just concentrate on the day to day. Hopefully, if I am worthy I will see you again my friend, until then, Rest In Peace.

Your Friend,
Dyan

Dyan McDermott
Norfolk EOC

You know, they say that loss gets easier with time. I don't think I believe them anymore. Time has not eased how much James is missed by all who knew him or worked with him. I still look for him to walk through the precinct's door every night I'm at the work.

James I know you are in Heaven with the Lord, but I'm being completely selfish when I say I wish he could have left you with us just a little more longer.

Sherri Hall
Norfolk Police Department

JAMES GILBERT
A Husband, A Father, A Friend, A Fallen Officer. I never thought it would be him. Not the loving caring James Gilbert I know. Who would want to harm him? And now what? His daughter and wife go on without him. A loss that no one can fill. An emptiness that they will have to carry with them forever, but an angel from above to watch over them. James was a good friend a good husband and a wonderful father. I will never forget the Saturday afternoon James and Logan came over after I had my now 5 1/2 year old triplets. Tiffany was at work and he and Logan came over to see the babies. He was so kid orinted. And once they got older he would come by and let them see his police car. They loved it and he loved that they loved it. James was a great person. God needed a angel in heaven and James was his angel.
As modest as you are James you went out like a king. It was an unbelieveable site. We all miss you James. You are always in our thoughts and will never be forgotten. We love and miss you James.

Nicole Baumgardner
Scott Baumgardner
Megan Hallie and Abigail Baumgardner

You never failed to make me laugh. I was privileged to know you and will miss you terribly. In my heart you will always be one of my "bad sons" - the one with the cocky smile. God speed James.

Anonymous

James,
Hello my friend just wanted to say Hi.....not a day goes by that I don't think about you or how your family is doing... I always thought that the impact of your passing would get better with time...But it doesn't i'm just as sad as I was the day we lost you... Right now i'm getting ready for the National Memorial and wanted to let you know that although it may seem inconsiderate given all of our fellow brothers who lost their life on 09-11-01, that for some reason your passing seems just that much more of a loss. I would imagine that it's because I knew you on a personal level and maybe it just hit a little to close to home, as I'm sure anyone who has lost someone in the Line of Duty would feel,...You were a model Police Officer and I consider it an honor to have known you and patrolled the same streets as you, and strive daily to be at least half of the Officer you were. God Bless your entire family and remember You are Gone but DEFINATELY not Forgotten.

Your Friend.

Investigator Christopher J.A. Scallon
Norfolk Police Department

Dear James,

It has been almost 6 months since God called you home, and I can not tell you how much I want him to let you stay a little while longer. I wish I have spent a lot more time with you. I remember all that we have done since I was even born. I still have pictures of me waiting on the couch watching the door waiting for you to come in,so I can jump in the bed with you and we would sleep together. I must have been about 5 or 6 then. Also I remember when me and you would run around and wrestle and have a great time for about an hour or so before we would both pass out of heat exhaustion. Those were yours and my most favorable memories in the past. I have not had a chance to speak my mind for a long time but I sure wish I have done it a lot sooner. I really miss you James and I'm sure your watching over me right now.But I just can't find closure in your death. But I still have your pictures,memories,words,your smile to hold to until it's my time. I love you a lot James and I'm sure you knew that, and still do know that, and I will make a difference in this world when grown up and even now. That will be my promise to you. I love You VERY MUCH!!!
Your Little Brother,
Joe

One of the best day's of my life was the day James was born and the worse day of my life was the day James died.I can not go a day without thinking of James and all the things we did together.I wish so bad that James was back with us.I cry everyday and yet I am so proud of all that James had accomplish and best thing of all,I know that James is in heaven with God.Love Always Dad.