Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Brian Timothy Strouse

Chicago Police Department, Illinois

End of Watch Saturday, June 30, 2001

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Brian Timothy Strouse

Dear Kathy and Mr. and Mrs. Strouse,

Know that neither Brian nor you are forgotten. The media and city have a short memory. The real members of CPD have not, nor will ever forget Brian or YOU.

God Bless and Stay Safe

Paul H.
CPD A3/Formerly 015

May 2, 2006

It has been six years since Sorenson, O'Dell, Lindsey, and I stood to pay final respects to one of the best friends we shared. Our time together in the Marine Corps are some of the fondest memories I have and while your death is tragic and untimely, these memories help me cope with your absence. On the front lines here in Iraq, I have thought of our own combat so many years ago and how you brought laughter in the midst of utter chaos. I miss you Brian, and hope that the peace you have found will eventually find its way to us here. Carry on Marine!

Staff Sergeant James Brereton
USMC Buddy

April 15, 2006

Dear Brian,

Missing you always, loving you still! Valentine's Day 2006 just isn't the same without you. I Love You!!!

Forever Is My Love,

February 14, 2006

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
The wind would whisper and I'd think of you
And all the tears you cried, that called my name
And when you needed me I came through

I paint a picture of the days gone by
When love went blind and you would make me see
I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew that you were there for me
Time after time you were there for me

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights, through every endless day
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We spent the summer with the top rolled down
Wished ever after would be like this
You said I love you babe, without a sound
I said I'd give my life for just one kiss
I'd live for your smile and die for your kiss

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights, through all the endless days
I'd wanna hear you say - I remember you

We've had our share of hard times
But that's the price we paid
And through it all we kept the promise that we made
I swear you'll never be lonely

Woke up to the sound of pouring rain
Washed away a dream of you
But nothing else could ever take you away
'Cause you'll always be my dream come true
Oh my darling, I love you

Remember yesterday - walking hand in hand
Love letters in the sand - I remember you
Through the sleepless nights, through all the endless days
I wanna hear you say - I remember you

February 12, 2006

This is let your family & friends know that they and you are not forgotten. Marianne...e-mail me, I've lost your address (keep your head up).


January 13, 2006

I wake up in the morning
And I raise my weary head
I've got an old coat for a pillow
And the earth was last night's bed
I don't know where I'm going
Only God knows where I've been
I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
A candle in the wind

When you're brought into this world
They say you're born in sin
Well at least they gave me something
I didn't have to steal or have to win
Well, they tell me that I'm wanted
Yeah, I'm a wanted man
I'm a colt through your stable
I'm what Cain was to Abel
Mister catch me if you can

I'm going down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
And Lord, I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm no one's son
Call me young gun

You ask about my conscience
And I offer you my soul
You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I've known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well, I've seen love come
And I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain

Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
'Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory
Lord, I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm the devil's son
Call me young gun

Each night I go to bed
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
No I ain't looking for forgiveness
But before I'm six foot deep
Lord, I got to ask a favor
And hope you'll understand
'Cause I've lived life to the fullest
Let this boy die like a man
Staring down a bullet
Let me make my final stand

Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Lord, I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm no one's son
Call me young gun
I'm a young gun

January 3, 2006

Dear Marianne,
Holidays are the hardest, I know. You're in my thoughts and prayers. The memories that you & Brian made together are priceless. It's such a comfort to be able to reflect on the love you shared, each day. I know the pain you feel and the hurt your heart carries. I'm just a phone call a way. Please let me know if I can do anything for you. Continue to remember how much Brian loved you, for he knows how much you love him.

Much love,

Kelly Gillain

November 30, 2005

Missing all the great times we had and the love we shared. Loving you lots and missing you still! Holidays without you are especially hard. Hard to believe that this is the fifth year of Holidays that you have been gone. I know what Thanksgiving meant to you; for you loved to spend it with friends, family, football, and food. I am thankful that we had an opportunity to share our lives together for a number of years right before you were killed, though I so wish you were still here. You were caring, loving, and so good to me. I still think to this day that you were the most wonderful man in the world. Looking back I realize how much you were preparing me for that fateful day. Lifes lessons that I never knew would I would need, for I had you and the love we shared. You are not forgotten, and never will be, even as time moves forward without you. I Love You!!
Forever Is My Love,


November 25, 2005


For anyone who knew you and loved you, I'm sure these words describe how they feel.

Who You'd Be Today - Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughin' in the rain
I still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair, you died too young
Like the story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
And sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair, you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowin' no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today

Today, today, today
Today, today, today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday, someday

October 14, 2005

Time and time again, I think about you and remember your last words to me, "Be safe brother". I'll never forget those words. That fateful morning, I awoke at 3:00 AM and drove 100 MPH to the hospital thinking that it was some kind of mistake. I was expecting to find you laughing it off like you always did. Instead, I found you had made the ultimate sacrifice.

Brian, your loss was hard to take. In some ways some of us have not been able to accept it. Those who work in law enforcement know how I feel. We cannot accept the murder of anyone, especially that of an officer.

Reminders of you are still all around us. Rocco still has your white Caddy. It's parked in front of his house and he keeps it real clean. Not as clean as you of course.

I have your memorial pin in my squad car and look at it every time I get in. I think about you and all the other law enforcement officers who have given yourselves unselfishly to others.

Heros such as yourself are revered and never forgotten. I miss you very much and pray for your family and the love of your life. Sempre Fi

Special Agent Frank Spizzirri
Illinois State Police

October 7, 2005

You are not forgotton - ever.

July 17, 2005

Dear Brian,

It is now 4 years since you were taken from us so suddenly. To tell someone I miss you is the understatement of my life. Words can never describe the loss I feel every day. To this day, it is unbelievable, I keep waiting to wake up, to be told this was all a horrible nightmare (which in reality it is). So much has happened, so much you have missed. I tell myself that you aren't missing it, that you are watching from heaven, but the reality is that it is no consolation. I go on every day trying to make it appear to everyone as if nothing has changed, that I am fine, but so much has changed - if I stop to take a moment to process it all, it is overwhelming. So I keep myself busy, trying not to feel the missing piece of our lives.

I look at the kids (amber, meg, johnny and skylar) and they are gowing up so fast. To see the effect your loss had on them (to this day) is heartbreaking. When they ask the questions, how can I explain it, how can I help them understand what I, myself, can not understand.

There are numerous songs that remind me of you. In some I hear your voice singing along, in others some words or versus can parallel my feelings or offer comfort, others remind me of songs I heard 4 years ago - those are the songs that will forever bring me back to the day it all happened.

I sometimes just sit an cry, wishing you were here to talk, to hug, to annoy, to ask advice (which you were generally right - but I didn't want to admit). I would love to write something positive, something uplifting...but the pain and loss takes over and the only words that I write here are about missing you.

I will try and leave this on a positive note. I have been blessed with the best family in the world. I also feel fortunate that I have wonderful people in my life, some are new friends, some are old friends and I've realized my true friends. I know that without them, I would not have been able to make it (sanely) through the last four years, not to mention all the years that lie ahead.

Just wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time and miss you more than words could ever express.

Please watch over everyone. I hope you're having fun!

Love your sis,

July 1, 2005


Your spirit, your love and your diligence to the city of Chicago will never be forgotten. I am so blessed to have your wonderful family in my life and we will always hold one another up during the good, the bad and the ugly! We love you and thank God for men like you.

Shawn Lee


June 30, 2005

4 years later, you are not forgotten.

Rest well HERO, and watch over us as we finish your work...

June 30, 2005

Dear Brian,
I have thought about you a lot lately, especially knowing that your birthday was just a few days ago. I know how difficult it is for the people who love you, to live without you.

In D.C. this year, at one of the seminars, I heard your story from a person who loves you so deeply, and whom you loved deeply as well. I couldn't hold back the tears, as I watched and listened to your love (your MCM) tell the story of your life and your death. My heart broke for her. Although I did not know you, I know that you would be very proud of MCM and all that she has done to honor your life. She has been a tremendous encouragement to me, through my loss of Josh.

Know that I am thinking about you and praying for you. I am here for you always. Thank you for all of your support in D.C., especially at the vigil.

Love & prayers,

Special Someone to Deputy Sheriff Joshua E. Blyler
EOW: 5.2.04


June 14, 2005


I know you just had a birthday a few days ago, and today is my Cole's. Maybe you are celebrating together. Please watch out for each other. I saw your name in D.C. It was almost as surreal as seeing the wall for the first time last year. Please know that your memory is being kept alive down here. You may be gone physically, but you are most definitely NOT FORGOTTEN. There is so much love for you it is amazing. I have heard about the type of man you were, and I can't wait to meet you in Heaven!

Jessi Garger
Fiancee of Cole Martin
E.O.W. 4/25/03

June 4, 2005

Dear Brian,
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember you, the years we shared, the fun we had, and I wish you were here today. With today being the annual St Jude March, it hurts even more that you are gone. Thinking of you always and Loving you still.

Forever Is My Love,


May 1, 2005

I haven't written on here since the day after the sentencing, but I thought I would say something today. I miss you. I hear songs on the radio that remind me of you all the time, and right now i am listening to "Blaze of glory", and i knew how you felt a connection to that song. I haven't heard it since you died, and the words ring so true. I cry in the car to words that should soothe, but are bittersweet instead. Almost four years, and the rest of my time here will be well spent, but will seem like an enternity until i see you again. I hope you are proud of me-every decision i make, i think of you first. The kids are doing good, J-misses you, and cries often, but knows you are proud of him. He wants to grow up to be like you,and i couldn't be happier with the role model he has chosen. I don't get to go to your grave very often, but that isn't where you are anyway. I saw someone like you awhile ago, and i heard someone with your laugh, and that hurts. I asked God for a favor,a i hope he understands-my perfect heaven. A constant backyard party like we had on New England. Dad & Uncle John bbqing, mom and Aunt Eileen handing food out the window, Nana, Uncle Bob, Aunty Woody, and Aunt Clarice under the maple, in the shade. The plastic garbage cans filled with ice and cheap soda. Family and friends all around, then hearing the back door slam, and seeing you come around the corner with Pepper right behind. The pictionary board nailed to the tree, Barb's snowball tree blossoms falling in the wind, Mom's lilac bush in full bloom, and the sound of anxious neighborhood children setting off fireworks. The hope that this will all come true helps me to forgive. I don't expect others to feel the same, but we all go one day, and i still have mom, dad, cin, kath, john, and the kids. That is all i need, who could ask for more? Who knows what will happen next, but i will do my best until i close my eyes for the last time, only to open them to you and the rest of them. Lastly, God gave you your favor, he let you make your final stand, so i think there is room for mine. Love you forever. Play kings in the corner w/nana.


April 22, 2005

i want you to no that you are still missed and i know that you are looking down with pride because of your sister Kathy she's a great Chicago Police officer,just like you. rest in peace.

CPD ty

P.O. Tyrone Jenkins
Chicago Poilce 18th Dist.

April 19, 2005

My sincere condolences to the loved ones of Officer Strouse. Reading the posting, I can tell that he is loved and missed by so many. I know and understand the pain of losing someone you love. When I lost the love of my life, my precious Josh, it broke my heart. I know that there aren't any words that I can say to take the pain away. Remember all the wonderful memories you shared and hold them closely to your heart. God bless.

Kelly Gillain
Special Someone to Deputy Sheriff Joshua Blyler E.O.W. 5/2/04

March 31, 2005

Dear Brian-

Almost four years later and I can still hardly believe you are gone. We lost touch with one another but you have never been forgotten. I haven't really had anyone to talk to about you, though I've read much and understand even more as to how much you loved and were loved by many, as you continue to be. One can only hope to have such a meaningful impact in the lives of others.

I remember so many things you told me and lessons you tried to convey, despite my best efforts to not hear the truth at times. I remember your sunny outlook on life and wishing I could have but a fraction of such optimism. I remember you encouraging me that I could, and so I continue to try.

You were a rare person, one who was truly committed to the welfare of others, my own included. I think of you often and feel ashamed of myself at times for living anything but the fullest life possible, just as you always did. I am going to try harder and my newborn son is reason alone to do so. There is nothing I want more then for him to be happy in this life. You understood that lesson well. And even better, you shared it with others.

Brian, I hope to share a hug with you again some day. Keep watching over your family and friends, and the rest of us. Please remind us of our inner-strengths and the ability to forge ahead, with our heads held high and a smile on our face. Anything less is simply not living life to its fullest potential. Please help me find the strength to forgive myself and begin to live a joy-filled life. Remind us all that we hold the power within ourselves to be the best we can be. You did it so well...I remember.


March 29, 2005

Dear Brian,

Loving you always and missing you still. Happy Easter.

Forever Is My Love,



March 27, 2005

My fiancé, Dennis McElderry, was the first law enforcement casualty of 2003. Dennis was a Deputy Sheriff with the Davis County Sheriff's Office in southeast Iowa. Dennis died doing a job he loved, just as I'm sure Brian did. It saddens me to know that Dennis was not the first to die in the line of duty, nor will he and Brian be the last to die this way.

Having gone through the pain of losing Dennis I can truly understand and feel the pain that Officer Strouse's family, friends, and co-workers must be feeling. My heart goes out to you all, especially to his girlfriend Marianne. No one can truly understand the pain of our loss until they've walked in our shoes. Know that my thoughts are with you all today and everyday. Please accept my condolences on behalf of the McElderry family as well.

From reading the many reflections posted here, I am certain Brian was well respected and well loved. It's apparent his "spirit" touched a number of lives. You were blessed to have had him in your life, even for a short time.

Thank you Officer Strouse for a job well done and for helping to make this world a safer place for us all. I have had the recent opportunity to get to know Marianne and it's easy to see why you loved her. Please give her and all your loved ones strength from above to face whatever challenges life throws at them. And if you get a chance, say "hello" to my fiancé Dennis for me. Thanks.

Wishing you brighter and better days,

Jocelyne :)

Jocelyne Brar (Winnipeg, MB Canada)
Fiancée of Deputy Sheriff Dennis Ray McElderry - EOW (01/03/03)

March 27, 2005

Merry Christmas Brian!

I love and miss you terribly.

Your lil sister,

December 24, 2004

Brian, I wanted to stop in and say that I met your sister Donna the other night at a Gold Star Dinner. What a wonderful girl. She is so supportive of other families of fallen officers and through her dedication and determination the Chicago Police Memorial will be built so that you and all the other heroes that gave their lives will forever be remembered. God keep you close to him and please say hi to my son Michael at roll call and tell him I love him. I'm sure you guys are exchanging police war stories.

Robert Gordon, father of Chicago Officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Asst. Chief Robert Gordon, Retired
Riverside PD, Illinois

December 4, 2004

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