Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Police Officer Brian Timothy Strouse

Chicago Police Department, Illinois

End of Watch Saturday, June 30, 2001

Leave a Reflection

Reflections for Police Officer Brian Timothy Strouse

Today is November 14, 2002----1 year, 4 months, and 15 days since that horrible phone call. I never envisioned what would become of our family and our lives. I can't believe all that we have been through. Not just the grief, but waking every morning and reminding myself that this really is the way life has turned out. With all that our family has been blessed with, I never knew there was such a high price to pay. "The good Lord giveth, and the good Lord taketh away." For all the blessings in my life, our family was/is the greatest. Alot of my friends did not grow up in a house of such love, trust, and protection. I watch my own children grow and try to teach them the way that you taught me. My goal in life now is to make you proud of me. I missed you during the trials of September 11th, you were the first one I wanted to call. I miss you during every Sunday/Monday night football game. I miss sharing the baseball world series with you. I teach Johnathon the love of sports and competition, that you once taught me. When anything political happens, I want to share it with you. You helped develop my love of history and sports, and I miss having you to share with. I remember playing risk with you and watching Biography- the week of tyrants on t.v. These are the moments when life is bitter sweet. I miss taking the kids for elephant burgers, and the unexpected phone calls you would make. Sometimes I am out with the kids, or my friends, and I think I see you, or I smell you in the wind. As comforting as it is for that second, the pain lasts longer. My favorite time is when you come to me in my dreams. I love seeing and hearing you again. At least I can visit you there. In a world where life makes sense for a time, and I can see you laughing and enjoy the sound of your voice once again. Thank you for bringing out the best in me. I believe I will hug you again, and until then, I will play Van Halen, Stay a Packers fan, and be the kind of parent you would have been. I love you, and thank you for all that you mean to me.........Your little sister.....Jeanie.......P.S. Don't mind me when I swear at you.....I just miss you......


Dear Brian,

Still missing you so much! I Love You Still So Very Much!
Forever Is My Love,


A man who spent his life protecting his Country serving in the USMC, and protecting his beloved City will never be forgotten. You and Your family will always be in our thoughts. Semper Fi! Brother
Joe Sanchez

P.O. Sanchez

I will forever remember the evening your life was taken from you doing what we do.....putting ourselves in harms way protecting others.........I am the sister of one of your team brothers and when I heard a cpd tactical officer was shot I was panic stricken as I could not locate my brother Michael who works in the 012th district on your tact. team. I would soon learn my brother was at your side at the hospital throughout the nite. Your life was taken from you by a teenage gangbanger who we will see to it spends the rest of his useless pathetic life in jail. You will be forever missed and never forgotten!

PO Lisa Nallen
Niles Police Department

It has been a year. I refrained from commenting on this website as I did not know you and did not feel I had a right, however in a rare moment of clarity I wrote this and thought you deserved to know. Who I am in not important, the words are.

I didn't know you but I took the phone call at my apartment at 6 am on Sat morning of the tragedy.

I drove in silence to the hospital not knowing what to expect.

I was with your family at the hospital at the pronouncement of death shortly thereafter witnessing the shock, pain and
disbelief of your family, friends and fellow officers.

I was at the viewing with your family and saw and experienced the outpouring of love from your family, friends and fellow officers.

The sight will forever be burned in my mind.

I witnessed the lines around the block everyday waiting to pay their repects.

I watched your family and friends comfort others that where in fact there to comfort them.

I was at the funeral and witnessed the respect and admiration of your comrades from all over not
only from the CPD.

I watched and listened as Paula, Kathy and your Mother reminded us of your full but short life trying diminish at
least a little of the pain of death.

I was in the procession that stretched for miles and miles on the way to the cemetery and was filled with awe and admiration.

I wept as the bagpipes played amazing grace...and still do. I have come to tremendously dislike the sound of bagpipes. I flinched from the sound of the firing of the salute from the Marine honor guard. I waited while the casket was lowered.

I spent many an evening across a table at Denny's trying to get a glimpse of who you were but I will never know.

I was at the candle light vigil with your family and the people of the pilsen neighborhood and saw first hand what one persons impact can be.

I was at the Memorial in Springfield with your family and yet again witnessed the outpouring from people and officers from all over the state. I recognized your name engraved in marble.

I have tried to be a support mechanism as much as possible for your family but I am sure you can understand it will never be enough. I fear I can never be sufficient to the task.

All that remains are memories and the deafining silence.

"Behold, many are called, but few are chosen" D&C 121:34


Dear Brian,

It has been exactly one year since you were taken from me, your family, and your friends. It is so hard to believe. Sometimes I still feel as if I were just at the bedside that morning holding your hand and encouraging you to fight to the end like I promised you I would do. I vividly remember it like it just happened.

I can't describe the pain in my heart that still hurts that you were taken from this world. I now know what they mean when they say that someone died of a broken heart after a loved one dies. Because it is really a physical pain that one feels. I know your family and friends also feel the pain of your loss. We all miss you and love you so very, very much.

I still wish I could touch your beautiful face, hold your hand, stroke the hair by the side of your temple, whisper in your ear, have you hold me close the way you did, or hear you laugh. But I now have to keep those memories of you in my heart. I want you to know, though I am sure you do because of the little signs you send me, that I will never forget you, those memories of you, what you lived for, or why your life was taken from you. Your presence in my life changed my life forever in so many ways.

You loved your job, and you loved your family, myself and your friends. You knew the risks of your job, as well as I did, along with your family and friends. While I worried about you, you told me that worry was a down payment on nothing. While I still worried because I love you and did not want anything to happen to you, I knew that you could definitely handle yourself and would not want it any other way.

I knew that was who you are and that you would not change, nor did I want it to change. So, you still went out there everday to face the evil world around you. You said you did it to make the world a better place for the women in your life(your mom, your sisters, your nieces, myself), and that you also did it for your dad and your friends.

You are indeed a hero Brian!!! Though I am sure you would argue that fact because of your humble nature. But you are a hero and I will do everything I can so that the world does not forget you, why you lived, or why you died.

I also want to thank you for giving me the most wonderful four and a half years of my life. I could not have had a more wonderful time with you. You taught me so much about life, that is what makes it so hard with you gone. While the dreams we had together may be gone, the loved we shared will never go away. For you will always remain in my heart until we can be together in eternity.

While I thought I was put in your life by God to teach you a lesson about life, little did I know that it would be the other way around. Now that you are gone you have left your family and friends in my life. I thank God that I have your parents, your sisters -Kathy, Cindy and Paula, your partner Mark, and your friends Rocco, Chris, and Joey in my life. They all love you very much and miss you very much. They may not know what an impact they have had on my life. I love them as if they were my own family. I could not have made it through the first year without them and their support. I love and cherish their stories and memories about you.

I also know that I could not have made it without you by my side as my guardian angel. While you may be physically gone, you have given me wonerful signs to let me know that you are really not that far away.

I treasure all the memories and love I have of us together. I love you so very, very, very much!!! I miss you so very, very, very much. Take care my love, until we meet again.

Forever Is My Love,


I think of you everyday.
Your bravery will never be forgotten.
A year has past...the sadness will never go away.
God bless your family.


Brian, I dont know where to start and I don't know where to end. I have read these reflections OVER and OVER and OVER again FOR THE PAST YEAR. I told myself I would not reply to your reflection until I was COMPLETELY over of your passing. But it has been a year now and I still can't stop missing you and thinking of you every day.

I will start with THANK YOU. Thank you for letting me into your beautiful family and other circle of friends. We talked many of times after a beer or a golf game or even after a trip to the boats in front of my house(in fact annette was always soooo mad that you and I would go out for 6-10 hours,THEN talk in front of my house for another 2 hours.) But thats why my wife loved you so much cause she saw what many others did, that you and I were NOT to be seperated from each others friendship no matter the COST. Well I'm seeing the COST and I have to live with it now, I miss you soooo much I can't breath sometimes, the only thing that helps me is talking to your family and keep tellin the same old stories of how much fun you and I had as friends.And tell them what a great friend you were to me and how much love and respect you showed my wife and my family.

I can't believe it has been a year ago today, I can remember just like it was yesterday when i was talkin to ya 3 times a day, then seeing you the next day and we would go golfing early in the morning then go the 19th hole and have a few cocktails and then play the video "GOLF GAME" (I'm sorry I beat you all the times,LOL)til my wife and Marrianne paged you 10 times and told us to get our butts home to our women. Oh God I miss you sooo much and those times we had. It's funny how many times we golfed a year(probably 20-30), and since your passing I have only gone about 3 times since that day. And to think you golfed your BEST game EVER, 5 days before you were taken away from us.

Well my greatest memory of you (and there are many) will be the day after I brought my daughter home from the hospital and you were there to meet her! The emotion on your face will NEVER leave my memory. And what did you say to my new born child, "Come in to your new room, me and your daddy spend ALOT of time fixing this room up for you.".. 6 weeks later you were taken away from us by God.I am so happy that you had the chance to meet my daughter before you were taken away from us, But I vowed to myself that my daughter WILL ALWAYS KNOW HER UNCLE BRIAN, and what a HERO he was and how he would love to be in the here and now 10 yrs down the road to help me with all the situations I will run into with a daughter, and two women in the house with me. Cause God knows you have ALOT of knowledge in that "women in the house" thing.Being an only BOY in the family, you told me "Don't worry I grew up with 3 sisters and a MOM(who he LOVED dearly)so If I can grow up with 4 women in the house you can deal with a daughter". I can see now what you were talking about, with the GREAT sisters you have, I will have no problems.

The next best memory would be that time you invited me up to your parents new home. Me,you, and your dad went fishin and I never felt so close to you and your dad as I did that weekend. I was so incrediable LUCKY that I was able to spend time with your parents that weekend and go fishin with your dad whom I know you loved so much.I have always thought that God works in mysterious ways and that pushed me over the edge with "your family"..and for that I will forever be grateful to you.

You would have been soooo proud today seeing all the people who showed up AND STILL remember WHO and WHAT you were all about. That alone made me so proud to be your friend.The speakers hit the head on the nail, YOU ARE, AND WERE A HERO!

In closing brother, THANK YOU for introducing me to the "NEW" family, your famliy that I can now call my own. To Paula,Cindy, Kathy, and to Mr. & Mrs. Strouse I love you all like you are my own family. Please believe me that I would not have made it through these tough times if it were not for you. I am supposed to be there for you(cause that's what Brian told me to do in case something like this should happen)BUT you welcomed me in to your family like I was him, and for that I can't describe into words how much LOVE I felt from all of you. And to Boot I made 3 more friends in the "UGLY BROTHERS", Joey,Chris, and Rocko.

Like everyone said " Hey who is that funny, friendly guy over there". and they would respond, "Oh thats Mark's GUY"

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY GUY!!!! And I'm gonna miss ya soooo much, and through out my life I KNOW there will never come a time where I can say, yah thats my GUY, cause you were IT Brian and no one will ever be "MY GUY"....

I know you are in a better place so that sets me at ease a little bit, BUT please check in with me from time to time. AND I CANT WAIT TIL THE DAY I SEE YOU AGAIN IN HEAVEN, I CAN SEE IT NOW YOU WILL BE SAYIN...."HEY GOD LET THIS GUY IN, HE'S MY GUY, I HAVE BEEN WAITIN FOR HIM"...LOVE YA BRIAN!!!


it has been a year since the angels came and took you home and not a day has gone by that i haven't thought of you. i would of never of imagined having to go thru my life without you, your advice, or your friendship. i knew the moment i saw you that morning at the hospital that everyone's world would be having a huge hole in it. i put my feelings aside, tucking them away, and began to deal with everything we discussed if something like this ever happened to one of us. i became very mad at you for making me tell mom and dad, cindy, paula and most of all those two little girls of mine who loved you more than anything else. i stood back and watched relatives and friends grieve for you, knowing just how much you were loved in this life. i never said goodbye to you pushing it aside, but the time has come that i have to. i know you will always be with me and im sure you hear me ranting from time to time because at that specific moment i needed you. the hurt will never go away, the pain has easied due to the wonderful people who loved you are now a part of the girls and my life. i could of never of asked for a greater brother, friend, or fellow police officer. being proud of you is an understatement. i will always love you, and i will carry all of our "strouse memories" in my heart forever. knowing you are in the arms of the angels, goodbye brian, until we meet again when you come to take me home with you. i love you and will always be true.


kathy noncz

Dear Brian,

With today being your 34th Birthday, it is a difficult day without you here. I miss you so much and the love that we shared. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you and the impact you had on my life and the lives of others. You are a very special man. You brought so much happiness into my life and to the lives of those that knew you. You were loved and admired by all who knew or met you. I feel blessed to have had the years that we had together, but now empty without you here. I know in Heaven you are celebrating as we would celebrate your birthday so I want to tell you Happy Birthday. Since you are celebrating your birthday in a typical fashion, I know your reply is "Go Cubs"!
Forever Is My Love,


Tomorrow is your birthday and I can't help but think of you not only for his special day but everyday. As I grew up with Cindy and became a part of the "Strouse House" I watched you grow into a wonderful man. You were always protective of us "girls" and even not being a physical member of the family I could always count on you if I needed anything. I missed you while you were in the Marine Corp. and elated when you would visit me at the Taste of Chicago. I miss you like my own family and think of you often. We stay behind in this world to continue doing the good work that you started. You will never be forgotten.
Happy Birthday!

Love always,

Lisa Ripka

On this the Holiest of days Jesus Christ is risen.
He died to save and protect others.
Just as officer Strouse did.
God Bless.


man what can i say other than god bless him and his family i know he's in a better place

po s pica

Wanted to express my condolences on this Easter Sunday for the unfortunate injustice that happened to Officer Strouse. I didn't know him personally but have heard he was a great person and sounds like we could use many more people like him in this world. God bless.


I will never forget the night your life was taken. My heart goes out to everyone that you have known. YOU'RE THE MAN!

Fellow Brother - 012 District
Chicago Police Department

I just want to thank you Brian for being a part of my life for 30 yrs. Growing up we had the greatest family and I am so greatful and proud I was able call myself a "Strouse." You taught me so much and teased me til I thought I couldn't bear it, but you always tried to protect your "lil" sisters, sometimes I belive I gave you the hardest time of the three of us. I have learned so much about you I never knew. You touched the lives of so many people and I am so very proud to say you are my brother. I always looked up to you and wanted to marry someone just like you, but no one ever even came close. I truly feel blessed to have been able to share a part of my life, my childhood and (although short) adulthood with you. I was truly fortunate to be related to a person with such a big heart, a great man and wonderful human being. The world has lost more than it realizes. Thank you! I miss you terribly and always will, until we are all together again in heaven. I love and miss you, your lil sis - Cindy.

To Joey, Chris, Rocco and Mark - I love you guys like brothers - please know you will always be a part of the "Strouse family".

To all who worked with Brian, thank you for your comforting words, compassion to the family and sharing your stories about Brian, they are appreciated and will be treasured. To those that left reflections, whether you share in the profession, tradegy or just felt compelled to offer words of comfort, they mean more than words could ever express!

Cindy Strouse

I remember meeting you and your friends at Great America when we were in high school...I was lucky to have 6 years of knowing such a terrific person. I remember our conversations while you were in the Marines. Your family and your friends were a big part of your life. For Chris, Joey, Rocco and the Strouse family, I am very sorry for your loss. My prayers will go out to all of you.





Blessed are the peacemakers,For they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9


The law enforcement community and the people of chicago have lost a true hero.God bless

cook county sheriffs dept

dear lord
please take extra extra care of bri.

this ones on me bro


To the family of Brian Strouse, we keep Brian's memory alive in our hearts. His deeds will always be remembered. May his spirit be with us in the wind as we ride.

Illinois Police & Fire Motorcycle Assoc.

Brian T. Strouse ,
I miss you dearly, you were a great friend that will never be forgotten. It broke my heart to see you go, you did not go alone, we were all there with you, the day God called you home.You are at peace now, I know your watching over us, you are a hero and you made a difference in everyone's life. My prayers are always with you and your family, I am glad we spent your birthday with you ,I'm going to miss all of your sayings especially " she digs me ." Take care my friend, may you rest in peace, you are in a better place. Karen Kielbasa

karen kielbasa

Brian: I always told you "Forever Is My Love" and meant every word of it. You were the love of my life and now you are gone. I Love You So Much and I Miss You so much my heart hurts!!! But as always, "Forever Is My Love!!!"XOXOXO

I always told you that I thought you were the most wonderful man in the world! I still believe that to this day! I also always told you I did not need a ring and a piece of paper to tell you that I would be by your side until the end. What truly mattered in life was the love in our hearts that we had for each other, and that we expressed to each other. For it is the love in our hearts that bonded us, not paper. I am glad I got to be by your side until the end, holding your hand, and I know someday I will see you again and hold your hand again.

You brought so much happiness to my life!!! While you could be terribly stubborn when you wanted to, that is what made you unique and just one of the millions of things that I loved about you. These are the just a handful of the millions of things I loved about you,(though I know you were well aware of them because I told you always and often because we agreed that it was very important to express how we felt: your eyes, your smile, your touch, your laugh, your sense of humor, your sensitivity(Yes Brian, I know I was never supposed to tell people you had this side but I really want the world to know what a terrific man you were and this was part of you), how you could brighten up a room with your presence, how wonderful you were to me, all the things that we got to do together, the things you stood for along with your old school values and morals, your love of history, your love of baseball and sports, your love for the simple things in life, your love for children, your love for your family, your love for your friends, and your heart of gold. You really did have a heart of gold. They definitely broke the mold when they made you.

All the things that we talked about for the future and the dreams we had, that I knew I needed to be patient for, have been shattered by that bullet that took you away from me. I will never forget all of the great times we had together or the love we shared. I only wish I could have more because I truly miss you! You are definitely one-of-a-kind and will be missed by myself, your family and your friends. Take care my Love! I Will Always Love You!!! Again, as always, "Forever Is My Love"!!! XOXOXO



I have lost the brother I never had.
We were the last two of the ugly brothers not married and now I'm alone.
We played ball when we were young and went bar (hop)ping
as we got older, now I'll have to do it alone.
You helped me through bad times when no one else understood, now I will be forced to seek comfort elsewhere.
Sometimes we fought over the same girls and in the end we were still together as they moved on.
The pass 30 years were great being part of your life and I know our paths will cross again were we will resume were we left off.
I love you "Big Bear", and you will never be forgotten.

Big Joe - UB#3

Big Joe
Ugly Brother #3

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