Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Who would have ever thought that today (4 days before we go to trial for the jerk who executed my son 13 months ago) I would be sitting here reading the reflections that have been left in memory of Barry by his family, friends, and co-workers. Pain that I never knew existed has overtaken my body and there is no medication other than faith in Jesus Christ that can be prescribed for healing. A mother's love is forever. There is not another person on the face of this earth who can come in and fill the void that has been left in my heart. A piece of my heart was ripped off when Barry died. I miss his laughter, his witty jokes, his sitting at the piano in the den and singing his silly little ditty songs that he made up as he played the notes, his coming in the back door and saying, "Hi, Mom", his calls asking if I want to play golf with him or if I want to go to Granny's with him or if I would mind keeping Whit for awhile. I just miss him and have asked God many times why he didn't just take me instead. I would have gladly given my life so Barry could have stayed here to be with Cathy and Shae and Whit. If I had know 13 months ago that I would be sitting here doing this, I would have hugged him a lot longer and a lot harder and told him one more time that I love him very much and that I am so proud of him.

Jean Hill
Barry's Mom

Today was one of the longest days at work. It had nothing to do with the workload. It had to do with the weight of a heavy heart. On this date one year ago you were called to a more peaceful place. I miss you and think of you all the time. We have a plack with your picture on it up on the wall at work. We get to see your smiling face in that picture everyday. It still seems unreal at times that you will not be walking in the door.
I will be forever thankful for being blessed with your friendship. Thank you once again for being you.
12-04-2001

C. Ebersole
H.C.S.O.

A year. It seems like yesterday is the phrase I have heard all day today. Yes, everyday we live without you seems like you left us just yesterday. The pain is still so fresh. Words are still not there to convey my sadness in losing you. I do have a sweet peace that you are rejoicing and worshipping our Almighty Father in heaven. I love and miss you so very much.

Cathy Hill, widow

To the family and friends of Deputy Sheriff Barrett Travis Hill, I am truly sorry for your pain and heartache. Looking at the reflections that have been left for him, he was a kind and loving person with many, many people that loved him.

Thank you for your protection and service Deputy Hill.

Anonymous

Thanksgiving Bouquet

Sandra felt as low as the heels of her Birkenstocks as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease.

During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder.

Thanksgiving? Thankful for what? She wondered. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her.

"I . . . I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra.

"For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary,
or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving "Special?" asked the shop clerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving?"

"Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."

Sandra regretted her outburst, and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you."

Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi,
Barbara . . . let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small work-room, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangement of greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped: there were no flowers.

"Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.

Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers! She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again." She said as she gently tapped her chest.

"Uh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uh . . . she just left with no flowers!"

"Right, said the clerk, "I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet."

"Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that!" exclaimed Sandra.

"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs, and she was facing major surgery." "That same year I had lost my husband," continued the clerk, "and for the first time in my life, had just spent the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby, and too great a debt to allow any travel."

"So what did you do?" asked Sandra.

"I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask! It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I have always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted, and from His consolation we learn to comfort others."

Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God."

Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man.

"My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement . . . twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator.

"Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?"

"No . . . I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks for what that problem taught us."

As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!"

"I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too . . . fresh."

"Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during trouble than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns."

Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks. For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out.

"I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute."

"Thank you. What do I owe you?"

"Nothing. Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me." The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you would like to read it first."

It read:
My God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."
Praise Him for your roses, thank Him for your thorns.

~Author Unknown~

Anonymous

I knew Barry as a child, growing up with him as a friend across the street in Alief, Texas. Barry was a genuine and kind and cared about others. To hear uplifting comments about him as adult does not surprise me. He was raised in a good, loving Christian family.

I'm proud of Barry and all of his extended colleagues who fight the evil element in our society so that we can live our lives in a much safer environment.

Barry gave his life for all of us. I look forward to giving him my heartfelt thanks one day.

Mike Hopfe

It has been almost 1 year since I talked to my son-in-law. And, I don't think the loss gets any easier.Barry and I had a private joke between us; I called him my favorite son-in-law and he called me his favorite mom-in-law. I cannot even begin to explain the feelings in my heart for Barry. I read all the reflections left by friends, family and others and am so blessed by the way he touched the lives of other people. Not many people got to know the Barry that I knew. I always tell people that God over blessed me when He gave us Barry. We had such a special relationship that I believe that no other in-laws could possible have what we had. He always took time to spend with me. Not just in person, but, on the phone. Until he went to work for Harris County, at least once a month he made time to call me just to chat. Even when he was in the Gulf War, he would call. I liked Barry as well as loved him. I have so much respect for the kind of man he was. He loved God,family and country. As someone said, he didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk. His family was so important to him. He was so proud of Cathy, Lacy and Whitney. I was present when both girls were born. When Lacy was born, he came out of the delivery room just floating. After Whitney was born, he told Cathy "if I'd known we were going to have a Whitney, we would have had her long ago."I watched him with his girls. He made time to spend with each of them, separately. They had date nights. He and Whit were to have a date night just a few nights after his death. She remembered on that night. My daughter has lost her life-mate. My grand-daughters have lost their daddy, his parents, my friends, have lost a son. His brother lost a sibling. But, I have lost my son-in-law. How I wish I could tell you how proud I was to have Barry in my life. I can't begin to express how special it was to have a son-in-law like Barry. The pride of having him equaled the pride I feel of my own children. Barry, you are so missed. I only hope that you know how very much I love you. Your favorite mom-in-law.

Arlene Sanders
Mother-in-law

I have lots of memories of Daddy and I love him very much. When I look at his Elvis picture it reminds me of how funny he was. He loved to swim like I do and loved animals too. Momma lets me sleep with her now so she isn't alone. I miss his laugh and the funny way he would sing to me and tell me jokes. Pawpaw takes me out on our motorcycle but I wish Daddy could do it. The kids at school miss you at lunch time too just like I do. I remember when you would come to lunch and then you and momma would go out and play on the playground with us too that was so fun. Everybody wanted to play with us. I love you and miss you very much Daddy.
Love,
Whitney

Whitney Hill
daughter

Just a thought for Mom and the Kids;

In emergency services we all think we are trained enough and brave enough to handle any situation. It just takes one call to change all that.. no reason, no sense and no blame can explain the loss of a loved one. There is one fact and that is that they are gone.

Please take comfort that the Lord looks after us all in this life and the after. His plans are not known to us and an anwer to all your questions may very well be "there is no answer that you will understand".

Cecil

Commander Cecil Cornish
Titusville Fire & Emergency Services

When I think of Berry, the one thing that I remember is his smile and laugh. He was never without it. A good man walked with us for a short time and I know I am a better person for knowing him. Barry was my friend and I miss him.

Everett Cochran

Friend
Retriever Payment Systems

Barry Hill was a dedicated Officer, wonderful husband and incredible father. As a personal friend, as well as being his Pastor, I witnessed Barry's life "up close and personal." He was a real credit to the Harris County Sherrif's Department and will be missed greatly by everyone. It has caused all of us to pray more daily for those who serve to protect us from the criminals that want to do us harm. Thanks Barry, for a job well done!

Senior Pastor
LifeWay Church of Spring

Its been almost 10 months and this is the first time I've ever gotten on this page. Where do I start? Deputy Barrett Travis Hill was my Daddy. The best Daddy. He used to braid my hair for me in elementary school when my mom worked days and he did graveyards. It looked horrible every time! But he was so proud of himself that I never told him how bad it looked--I just ended up taking it down once I got to school.
He packed my lunch for me--which also wasn't the greatest everytime--but he would leave me little notes on my napkin telling me he loved me--those were always fun to find.
He slept during the days while I was at school, and sometimes I had to call him and wake him up to bring me something I had forgotten--he complained about me waking him up, but always showed up about 20 minutes later-pajamas and all-with whatever I needed.
I always respected him--he was my father--but one thing I always knew about my Daddy was that he wasn't a quitter and never let me be one either. He worked so hard to get where he was in life. The years in public safety at Snowbird, being a guard at the Utah prison, Desert Storm, the academy, the jail, and all those times he just barely missed getting called out on patrol because they stopped right before his number.
Once, when he was going through some physical training at the academy he was playing basketball after work and broke his finger. It was pretty bad--but did he stay home? Nope. He taped it and went to school the next day and passed his PT test with flying colors.
I also remember how often his shift would change. He would go from graveyards, to days, then swing, then back to days, graveyards again--it was horrible--I don't know how he did it--but he did. That always amazed me.
During the academy, they had to do the driving test. I remember him coming home that night all excited cause he had beat the old record time. Three months later, he went back to visit and they told him no one had beat his time yet. I bragged about that to my friends for a while.
We used to take motorcycle rides up into the mountains and around the Salt Lake Valley. One time, up in the mountains, we were riding and I got cold, so Daddy stopped, took off his shirt, gave it to me and rode home with no shirt on--in November!
One last thing: my dad was incredibly humble about his musical abilities, but my senior year of high school, my mom and I convinced him to play the piano at our school's pop show for me. He was so nervous--not because he didn't want to look bad, but because he didn't want to mess me up! Needless to say, it was pretty much everybody's favorite and he did it perfectly! But he was so scared before we went on, he was making me nervous! I still can't listen the song he played for me...it makes me cry.
Everyone has been saying what a wonderful man he was--but I want people to read about it from me and know how selfless, giving, loving, generous, Godly, honest, hardworking and amazing he was. I don't know how I was so blessed to get a Daddy like him, but I praise God(not often enough) for the 18 1/2 years I had with him. The most amazing part though, is that he is standing before God right now--praising Him and worshipping Him and having the best time! That is the hope I have, that as a born-again Christian, I will stand in awe before the throne of God and experience joy beyond human comprehension when I die--and My Daddy will be waiting at the gates for me to join him in praising God. What a glorious thought! How amazing will it be to stand before our Creator and hear Him say "Well done, my child." That's what my Daddy experienced on December 4th, 2000. At the exact moment he took his last breath here, he looked into the loving eyes of Jesus Christ.
So, to all those who loved him, knew him kinda, or didn't know him at all, take heart and have hope. He is having the greatest time in heaven right now and loving every eternal second of it. He's cheering us on, encouraging us to finish this trying race called life. And when we make it home, our real home, he'll be waiting to give us a hug when we get there.

Lacy, oldest daughter

Dear Kathy

I come to ODMP daily, and I can see that like I do, you are taking comfort on comforting others that are going through the same pain that we are and been through, may God Bless you for what you do and who you are, keep your faith that is the only thing that really matters in this world. My husband like your husband was a man of God above all and I know that they are together in Heaven serving God as Police Officers.

Take care

Terry Miyares
widow
Officer Emilio Miyares
E/O/W 11/6/86
Hialeah Police Dept., Florida

Terry Miyares,
Hialeah Police Dept.

I think of Barry often and reflect to the good times we had from Desert Storm, to the discussions of our dreams to be Police Officers. When I heard of his death it really hit me hard. I will miss him, but will never forget him.To the family of Barry, my wife and family wish to express their love and prayers. God bless your family and someday we will talk again.

Det. Todd Grossgebauer
Provo City, UT

Deputy Hill, your watch is over and our department salutes you and your tour. May you watch over the gates of heaven, as you watched over the citizens of Harris County, Texas.

Deputy J. Allen
Hidalgo County Sheriff's Department, Texas

What can be said about Barry that hasn't already been written in all the reflections posted here.

Barry was my brother-in-law. From the first day I met Barry I looked up to him (not just because he was 6'4" and I was only 5'). There was so much about him I admired. His sense of humor, and his musical talent are just two of the many many things I loved about Barry.

Being the "pesky" little brother, Barry and I weren't very close in the beginning of Barry and Cathy's relationship. As the time went by that changed. My admiration for Barry grew as our relationship did. I truly looked up to him as an example of how to be a dad. Sometimes I feel really lost when it comes to being a dad because he is not here. I have lost my example. I want so much to be a dad to my children like he was to his.

There were so many things that Barry and I did and talked about doing together. So many that just about everything I do reminds me of him. Every time I play golf, or disc golf I am reminded of him. When I am playing basketball with my kids in the back yard I think of the time he was there to help me pour the slab for the court. When I walk into my two youngest kids room I am reminded of him, because he took over when my wife was putting the teddy bear border around the top of the walls. We always talked about going on motorcycle rides together. With my job I travel a lot throughout the day and take some routes that would make for great motorcycle rides. During the driving times I think is when I start to miss him the most, because I am by myself and my mind really starts to remember him. Many times I have to pull over because I start crying so hard.

I do have some regrets. I regret not picking up the phone to just call and say hi. I regret not hugging him more. I regret not telling him how much he meant to me and how much I looked up to him. I regret not telling him "I love you".

I have heard many people talk about how they would like to have this or that of Barry's and I think to myself, "those are only 'things' that will rott and blow away after time. Barry gave me something that will never rott or never be taken from me, and that is his memory."

Barry, I love you and miss you more than anyone here knows.

James
Brother-in-law