Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Stephan:Your cheerful attitude, openness and kindness were a real asset to the students and teachers of Hanford High. I know you motivated so many in your short life. All of us touched by your overall goodness need to pay it forward as a tribute to you.

Frank Mann
Former Teacher of Stephan

December 17, 2008

The holidays are here and you and your family are in our thoughts and hearts. May your family find peace during this special time.

a friend
friend

December 17, 2008

Just wanted to stop by and let you know we have not forgotten you or your family. You are in our thoughts daily. One true hero....

Los Banos CHP

December 15, 2008

Yesterday you would of been 39 years old. I wondered what it would of been like, having you come home for your German Chocolate birthday cake on your break from work. When we took your flowers to you Cami said she wished that wishes came true because she would wish for you to just be at work and have you come home. We all wish that wishes would come true. We all miss you so very much... I love you...michelle

michelle gray

August 22, 2008

Steph,
I cannot believe 4 years has gone by. They dedicated a really nice memorial for you on the 15th at central. I am so glad that there is now something in the department for you. They did a beautiful job, still I can't believe it was you. I have been really sad today and then I realized that today 4 years ago we put you to rest. What a sad day for us all. Cami was missing her daddy so bad last week, you by far are the best daddy I have ever known. I wish you could be here for all the changes, growth, and accomplishments our "babies" have gone thru. I know you see them from above but
somedays that just isn't good enough for me. I am so glad that the supreme court has reinstated the execution of prisoners on death row, maybe in my life time I will see the monsters demise. Hopefully his daily life is his slow demise, I can only hope. I just wanted to let out some tears
and let you know you are always on my mind.

michelle gray

April 21, 2008

It's been a while since I've been back at this sight,but not a day goes by that I don't think of you and how much all of us miss you. A few of us got together and shared stories of some of the fun times. I know you see it all and am greatful knowing your laughing at all the crazy stuff that goes on. Keep smiling my friend.
Miss you.

Police Officer Richard Morgan
Merced P.D.

April 18, 2008

Thing of course of you and your family, I can not understand how this could be a 4th year without you here. I know you are proud of your family and are watching over them each and everyday. We, your police family always keep all in our prayers. I know through those that stay close, that your beautiful wife, has stayed strong for everyone. God bless you are not FORGOTTEN!

kathy stevenson
wife of Howard Stevenson EOW1/9/05

April 17, 2008

Thinking of you and your family this day.

April 15, 2008

Thank you for your bravery, dedication and sacrifice. May your loved ones find solace in the fact that you will FOREVER be a hero and will NEVER be forgotten! So until one day in Heaven we meet, keep walking your beat on the Golden Street.

DET SGT, Retired
AR

April 15, 2008

Well today is Valentines Day, I know its been so long since I've been to this site. So much has happened I know you see it all. I know you were there on the night of Dads surgery, somehow I just know you were there to take care of him. I just looked up some crap on the death row sites and can only hope that the "monsters" life is as miserable as possibl, as if he even deserves to have an existence at all. I am thinking of you today...like everyday but I know you know that you captivated my heart some 16 years ago with that beautiful smile and heart. We had such a good life together, so much the two of us went thru. I am truly thankful for you and always will be, so today on Valentines I wanted to "talk' to you and let you know I love you....shell

michelle gray
wife

February 14, 2008

You were obviously respected and loved in life and revered and honored in death. I'm glad your worthless killer got death, but it will never bring you back to your family. My heart goes out to you and all who knew and love you. Thank you for all you did and for making the ultimate sacrifice.

Trooper
Colorado State Patrol

December 29, 2007

Steph,
I was thinking of you and your family last night while watching the news of another Officer down here in Sacramento. The last time we spoke you were in the academy and excited about your new career. My thought and prayers are with you and your family. My prayers go out to all the Officers and their family. May your family's holiday be filled with memories and joy. You are missed.

December 20, 2007

Stephan,

I read about an officer killed yesterday by a gang member. He was a gang officer too. I ,of course, thought of you and your family. I 'm not very religious, but when I read that article I felt some comfort knowing that you would be there for that officer as he arrived in heaven. I like to think that you were there for him with that wonderful smile.

CT

Police Officer
Half Moon Bay PD, Former MPD

October 1, 2007

"The Badge"
He starts his shift each day
To respond to calls unknown.
He drives a marked patrol car.
A police officer he is known.
He's paid by the citizens' taxes
To make it safe on the streets.
But he usually has a second job
'Cause a waitress has his salary beat.
Now he doesn't know a holiday
'Cause he works all year round.
And when Thanksgiving and Christmas finally arrive
At his home he cannot be found.
He's cursed and assaulted often,
The one whos blood runs blue.
He seldom ever gets a thanks,
To some he's just a fool.
His friends are always other cops
'Cause people just don't understand
That underneath his badge and gun,
He's just another man.
He knows there might not be a tomorrow
In this world of drugs and crime.
And he gets so mad at the court system
'Cause the crooks don't get any time.
And each day when he leaves for work,
He prays to God above.
Please bring me home after my shift
So I can see the ones I love.
But tonight he stops a speeding car,
He's alone down this ole' highway.
It's just a little traffic infraction.
He does it everyday.
Well, he walks up to the driver's window,
And his badge is shining bright.
He asked the guy for a driver's license,
When a shot rang through the night.
Yes, the bullet hit its mark,
Striking the officer in the chest.
But the Department's budget didn't buy
Each officer a bullet-proof vest.
So he lay on the ground bleeding.
His blood wasn't blue - His blood was red.
And briefly he thought of his loved ones
'Cause in a moment the officer was dead.
In the news they told the story
Of how this officer had died.
And some who listened cared less,
But those who loved him cried.
Well, they buried him in uniform
With his badge pinned on his chest.
He even had his revolver,
He died doing his best.
Written By:
David L. Bell
Sergeant
Richland County Sheriff's Department
Columbia, South Carolina
Used with Special Permission of the Author
Copyright © 1999 - All Rights Reserved
and may not be duplicated without permission

Investigator David L Bell
Richland County Sheriff's Dept., Columbia, SC

September 20, 2007

I miss you and can't sleep again tonight. I was thinking how when you worked late even though I would go to bed I couldn't sleep until I heard your keys hit the door. Sometimes I still find myself trying to keep "busy" until you come home so we can catch up and you can tell me about your crazy night at work,leg bails,dumb stuff gang members did and all your stories we used to laugh about. I remembered how my heart would lift just as your keys hit the door because I knew you were okay and how good it felt to share your day and know you were home safe and how our home was now safe and complete because you were there. I just don't understand why it had to be you. You are missed everyday, I wish somehow I could bring you home. What I wouldn't give for one more late night conversation with you and to hear you laugh your silly laugh one more time. I love you....shell

michelle gray

September 10, 2007

Happy Birthday. I thought about you while trying to get my work done. I sat talking with someone about you, how at the south station we used to have a monthly cake for everyone whose birthday was that month. I remember the laughter, just hanging out, talking about everything and nothing. Funny how so many oficers would just happen to be off beat and needed the annex. The cake never lasted long but the memories will last forever.
Miss you much
MPD

August 22, 2007

Today you would of been 37 years young. I still think I should be making that german chocolate cake for you for you to eat on your lunch break. We will sing happy birthday for you today just like always, hope you can hear us. We love you...michelle and the babies.

michelle
wife

August 21, 2007

Stephan,
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday!
Michelle know I am thinking about you and I wish things could be so different for your family and that it isn't fair that Stephan isn't here so that you can be celebrating his special day with a German Chocolate cake. I hope that you can find some comfort in those special memories you all shared. We love you.

Denise Smith
family friend

August 21, 2007

Stephan,

Your birthday is a day away and I am sitting up this morning, 2:30 am, trying to get myself to bed. I have been thinking about you so much lately. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you, but lately it has been constantly. I am hoping to see Michelle and the kids on your birthday. I dropped her car off for her at the airport in Oakland and unfortunately I only saw them for about 30 seconds because I was blocking the road. I'm still working on getting you a memorial in the lobby of the station. If I had it my way I'd have a huge painting done of you in uniform, with the flag waving behind you, and you wearing that wonderful, comforting smile. I have been thinking a lot about how I wish I would have never stopped that parolee a half a mile away from you. How if I had been rolling when you made your stop, I could have been there to cover you. I know I shouldn't "what if," but I can't help it. I miss you man, I miss the work we were doing together in Merced, and I miss the relationship we were building with our families.

Happy Birthday and thank you again. Thank you for making me a better father, husband, and just plain a "better" person. Thank God you were born; so many of us were blessed to have known you.

-CT

Officer Colin T. Smith
Merced PD

August 20, 2007

Steph,
We just came back from vacation. We went to Maui, your favorite spot, again without you at least physically. Spiritually you were there with us. Landess and I thought it was pretty crazy that when we all went out to dinner the first night the total was 106 then the next dinner the total was 106 the groceries at the store were 106 the rental car upon return was at 106. Too many times your badge number popped up, I can only hope that since the trial you have found your way to rest and just maybe you are resting in your favorite island. I thought of you so often and especially the way you were always so playful with the "babies." I miss the life we had and Maui just brought that to the forefront even more.

The trial has taken its toll on my heart. I had a dream the monster was standing in jail smiling and laughing the way he did in court and I couldnt get to him to kill him for you. Probably left over rage for not being allowed to say what I really wanted to say to him and for not socking the shit out of him when he walked past me for the last time. Addressing him did feel good, to call him a coward and you the soldier, but I still have some more unlady like words I would love to lay on him. They told me to behave so I did. In the end he has made his owm misery, thanks to a very responsible jury and a team of the DA and DOJ, SO and the MPD, he can die his 1000 deaths everyday in jail like the bible says a coward will do. This I have come to embrace.

I still can't understand what has happened, I never saw my life without you,thru good bad and indifferent I knew we were suppose to be together. Its a difficult adaption trying to adjust to this new life. But know that I love you and will continue on as your soldier here on earth and one day we will see each other again....
michelle

michelle gray
surviving spouse officer Stephan Gray

August 11, 2007

Glad to see he got death....hopefully it will not be too long for them to pleasure us citizens and see him injected with the poison he lets out...and slowly but surely the local authorities are shutting down the operations of the MERCED GANGSTA CRIPS who have terrorized the Southside of the city for years...stay up Steph

Merced Resident

July 6, 2007

Stephan,
Well I just had a smile on my face this morning because Madison asked for cinnamon, butter, and sugar toast and I chuckled because I remember Michelle telling me about 2 years ago that that was one of your favorites while she was preparing it for Cameron.
I am so glad that disgusting person ( I can't even call him a man) he is a coward, was finally sentenced Thursday and Michelle is the true power of strength. She is beautiful, intelligent, and I admire her. In the face of everything tragic that has happened because of your death she stood up strong in that court room and addressed the coward, as she so clearly put it. Isaiah's essay was so heart wrenching and so unfair that he can't have his daddy back, I along with so many others can't understand this senseless act of violence towards you and those that loved and still love you today.
I often think of your own children and know that they will one day come to accept that they will never have you back but, I know from my own experience losing my father at 2 1/2 there will always be that void and at many times in my own life wanting to have my real father to hug me, hold me, share in my happy moments. My father's death was an accident, a car accident, that probably could not have been prevented but, the hardest thing is knowing yours could have been. I know you are walking the streets of heaven and hopefully now can have some peace and your family, your co-workers, and friends can have some closure.
I thought it was very cute after the sentencing I went outside and someone asked how far my drive was back home and I explained that I was staying at my sister's in Sacramento and she lives off 5 close to Arco Arena and Landess with her beautiful smile said, she went their for one of her first concerts to see Christina Aguillera and Justin Timberlake and she was remembering how you took her and two of her friends. She was recalling how you were acting and being funny. It's apparent she has some very fond memories of you. She is so smart and sweet. You all have done a great job raising your children.
Michelle, Landess, Isaiah, and Cameron we love you.

Denise
family friend

June 24, 2007

Happy Father's Day Stephan! We are thinking of you today and always. You were a great father.

Denise Smith
Family Friend

June 18, 2007

This week is the 20th anniversary of our graduating from Hanford High School and plans are furiously under way for the reunion. But it won't be the same with out Stephan there.

Naturally, he has been on my mind lately, as has Tony, along with other classmates no longer with us. I am very pleased to read here about the sentencing. I take comfort in my beliefs that the God I believe in is just. And that coward will burn in hell (hopefully sooner rather than later!) while Steph spends eternity in paradise where his family will join him some day (later rather than sooner!).

It is no surprise to read all of the wonderful things written on these pages. Although we were not extremely close 20 years ago, nor did we kep in touch after leaving Hanford, we did share our bonds and I had great admiration and affections for both Steph and Tony. Stephan always struck me as being thoughtful and caring while occasionally breaking out that famous smile and laughter. We shared some memories that I will never forget.

I am happy to hear he had a beautiful wife and family. I know you miss him greatly. And Michelle, I hope you get a chance to come to the reunion and meet some of us who remember Stephan fondly and share in some of the great stories from way back when. Tony, I expect to see you on July 21st!

Stephan will definately be in my thoughts that night. Rest in peace, my friend.

Danny Rust
HHS, Class of '87
[email protected]

Danny Rust
High School Friend

June 6, 2007

Steph,
Cami graduates from Kindergarten tomorrow. Another milestone that we will be missing you. It is so unfair, you were such a great Daddy, they miss you so much. Cami asked to take a letter to your headstone after she graduates, I guess it is her way of having you somehow be involved with her graduation still. Breaks my heart, she wrote you a letter and told you why she loved you and then put her new perfume on it. Yeah she is growing up and misses you still. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and the chair next to me may be empty but you will definitely be there in spirit with us. Love you....michelle

michelle gray

June 6, 2007