Officer Down Memorial Page

This is the first time I've visited your memorial page. Today was the 2012 National Police 5K and I wanted you to know I ran in your honor. After 16 years of service, you are still remembered to me as a positive mentor who I will never forget. Baltimore County Police (PC01) "Cat Squad"

Ofc James Saunders
Baltimore County
May 12, 2012

Happy Birthday Mark! I may be older then you now but you are still my big brother. I think about you every day and yes, the pain has lessened but it is still there in my heart. Ten birthdays gone by, so unbelievable and so so sad! I love you and miss you...Maria

Maria Danaher
Sister
March 5, 2012

Dad,

Days like today are always harder for me than the day you passed. That day would mean nothing if you were still here. Today though, I can't help but feel the loss, the loss of the celebration we should be having. You'd be 53. Some days I just can't Dad, I just can't. The older I get the less I feel I knew you, the more about you I want to know. 12 years with you wasn't enough.

Happy Birthday Dad, I miss you more than ever.

Danny

Danny
Son
March 5, 2012

This ten year anniversary was not an easy one Dad. Between that and the Ravens loss, whew. I really didn't know how I would truly take it all in when the 21st finally arrived. But within minutes of walking into your tribute the officers organized Saturday night, Brown-Eyed Girl began playing. And this morning, two cardinals were sitting outside the window. Those moments, such little things, yet they mean so much to me. I get so much comfort in that, I just know you're watching over us and sending your love. I miss you so much Daddy, I know you're here with me.

Caroline, daughter
January 22, 2012

Your heroism and service is honored today, the tenth anniversary of your death. Your memory lives and you continue to inspire. Thank you for your service. My cherished son Larry Lasater was a fellow police officer murdered in the line of duty on April 24, 2005 while serving as a Pittsburg, CA police officer.

Time never dimishes respect and you will always be honored and revered. I pray for solace for all those who love and miss you for I know both the pain and pride are forever. I hold your family in my heart's embrace today and thank them for sharing the devotion of a wife, children, and sister with us through their reflections.

Rest In Peace

Phyllis Loya
Mom of fallen California Officer Larry Lasater, Pittsburg PD, eow 4/24/05
January 21, 2012

Rest in peace and god bless you Sgt Parry.

Lt JPease
Brentwood P.D.
January 21, 2012

I can't believe at the end of this week will be 10 years...every morning as I drive into work I remember where we were 10 yrs ago..you fighting for your life at Shock Trauma, and the kids and I sitting at your bedside praying for a miracle.

Oh my dear sweet Mark, I wonder often how different would all our lives be if you were still here? I know the kids continue to amaze me and make me proud-they each have so much of you in their personalities, but in different ways.

Hon, I am so afraid some times that our lives are moving too quickly and we are not retaining your memory enough. There is so much you have missed...I love and miss you and still can't believe how much it hurts not to have you next to me at night. I hope we all make you proud, you always made me feel so special and proud to be your wife.
Love and miss you always,
Lynne
1.18.12

Lynne
wife
January 18, 2012

Obviously losing you at such a young age made it really really hard. And I knew as the years passed and I got older, it wasn't going to get easier, but I thought it would somehow get better. And it does, it really does. But there are some days where it sucks SO bad, and it hits me so hard. It sucks to even get out of bed on those days. Because all I think is just "what if you were still here today?", "why did you have to leave!"
I think I've just come to the realization that years passing by may make it seem better.... but I'm still going to have those milestones and moments that are reminders. They hurt so bad. That pain never ever leaves... it just changes and hits me in different ways.
What I'm really dreading the most is this January. 10 years you will be gone. And all I can think is, I got 10 freaking years with you and now I've spent 10 without you. It just doesn't seem fair Dad...

The COPS Walk is in 2 and a half weeks. I've raised a good amount of money for it. I really do owe this organization a lot. They have helped and still are helping so much since your loss.

I love you and miss you so much xoxo

Caroline
September 18, 2011

Oh Mark, some days are so hard without you.

Our children are not so little anymore and they all make me so proud.--But it is not fair that you are not here to celebrate their accomplishments! I need you some days and just push on because I have to! But they need your fatherly guidance and insight--and I just can't always do it. It is exhausting to say the least, between work and home and life in general.

Some dear friends have lost loved ones recently, and it is never easy and I feel their pain. Help us all stay strong. Caroline will be leaving soon for her Junior year of college, and Danny is now a Senior in college...where have the years gone. Caroline is walking in the C.O.P.S. walk in Oct and has raised nearly $2500!
Keep trying with Kevin, he needs you more now than ever.

I love and miss you so much.
me

Lynne
wife
August 18, 2011

Hi Mark, I miss you so much, some days more than others but not one day goes by without me thinking of you! Just wanted to tell you that I love you, Maria

Maria
Sister
July 3, 2011

Hey Dad, I wish we could have celebrated Father's Day together. For some reason, it's always a hard day for me. Probably cause it seems like everyone around me is fortunate enough to celebrate it. I actually worked the whole day, and I thought it would distract me. But numerous people asked why I "wasn't spending the day with my Dad". And not to mention, I saw TWO people with some sort of fallen heroes, line of duty type shirt. It was kind of eerie to be honest. I'd like to think it was you saying hello from up there. Until we meet again Dad, I love you so much.

Caroline
daughter
June 21, 2011

Mark,

Today while sitting next to your sister at work--we learned a lot about your childhood. So nice to hear that you had a close relationship with your sister. She told us a lot about you. Of course, she made it seem like she was the innocent one all the time. We know better ! Just letting you know that she still talks about you--and its wonderful to hear the stories.. .

P.S. Several officers heard stories today at Dulaney Memorial--I was glad to be in Dispatch to hear stories about someone I worked with and miss.

Brigid
co-worker
May 6, 2011

This song, I really don't think it could explain it any better. Been missing you a lot these days Dad. For some reason, I keep having dreams about you. And I always wake up sad because they feel so real. I just wish you were here, I love you!!

Sometimes the road just ends
It changes everything you've been
And all that's left to be
Is empty, broken, lonely, hopin'
I'm supposed to be strong
I'm supposed to find a way to carry on

I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye

They keep saying time will heal
But the pain just gets more real
The sun comes up each day
Finds me waiting, fading, hating, praying
If I can keep on holding on
Maybe I can keep my heart from knowing that you're gone

I don't wanna feel better
I don't wanna not remember
I will always see your face
In the shadows of this haunted place
I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say goodbye

I will curse
I will pray
I'll relive everyday
I will shoulder the blame
I'll shout out your name

I will laugh
I will cry
Shake my fist at the sky
But I will not say
Will not say goodbye

Caroline, daughter
April 27, 2011

Well, you never met him, but Tucker was a cool dog. He was a nice little addition once you had left us. And it was nice since we knew you always kinda wanted a dog. We're gonna have to put him down, and it sucks... a lot. Maybe you can keep him straight up there, you'll like him... he's adorable. But as I think about it, if you were still here with us when he was, I don't think he would have even lasted this long. You wouldn't have taken any of his crap and bad behaviors. But regardless, I came to write on here cause I was kinda just sitting here crying and upset about it all. I'm really gonna miss him. But as soon as I turned on my iTunes, the first song to come on was Colin Raye's 'I Think About You'. And that and Brown Eyed Girl, were our songs. And I knew that was you saying it'll be fine. And I know it will be okay soon, this too shall pass. But for now, it sucks a lot. I miss you, love you, and wish you were here. When you see Tucker, rub his belly, that's his favorite.

Caroline, daughter
March 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Mark! Today you would have been 52 years old, so hard to imagine, seeing as you were taken from us at only 42! The pain may get easier but I still miss you every single day, I don't think that will ever change. Hope you are having a blast of a birthday party in Heaven....Love You Always my Big Brother, Maria

Maria Danaher
Sister
March 5, 2011

Hey Dad,

Had a real dream about you last night, first time i remembered one in I dont know how long. We were just discussing football...thats all. Trying my best to make you proud everyday, love you.

Danny

Danny
Son
February 4, 2011

It really blows my mind that we've been without you for 9 years. It's just not fair, and I wonder everyday how it would be if you were here. Sometimes I'm scared that I'll start to forget all the small things and memories I hold on to. I don't want to ever forget you, I just wish you were still here. I love you and miss you so much.

Caroline, daughter
January 25, 2011

Some days are easier than others, but as Maria put it this day Sucks.

Unfortunately both on a local level and nationally-- too many other police and fire fighters are joining you. Prayers to all of them. Keep watching over us sweetie--we need your guidance and miss your happy go lucky ways.
love always and in some ways doesn't seem possible that it is nine years.

Lynne <3

Lynne-wife
January 21, 2011

Hi Mark, I am sitting here kind of shell shocked, dreading tomorrow- the most hated day of the year! Tomorrow you will be gone from us for nine long years...Dec 27th is always a bad day but tomorrow is just awful...love you and think about you every day. Still miss you like crazy, Maria

Maria Danaher
January 20, 2011

Hey dad, miss you lots and think about you everyday! So the other night I was down at the beach, and I had a really realistic dream about you. I really thought you were back, I could even hear your voice in my head. I woke up so upset, and was really down for the day. But then I got the news that my COPS friend Maddie was in town! I was able to hangout with her and catch up and I knew that was you taking care of me from up there. Thanks Dad, you're missed so much it hurts xoxoxoxox

Caroline, daughter
August 14, 2010

Well, it's the start of Police Week in DC. The one week, all survivors look forward to because for once we feel normal. Of course, I'm stuck in my dorm at College Park cramming for finals. But I just realized how ironic it is that I'm cramming all about the Civil War, while everyone is in DC remembering you and all the other men and women in blue who made that ultimate sacrifice. Times like these where I really wish you were here so I could actually hold a conversation with you about my studies; your passion for this topic would have made this cramming a little bit easier. If I somehow miraculously ace this one, I'll have you to thank! Miss ya Dad, I'll be thinking about you lots during these next couple of days. You're a true hero, and that should never be forgotten, our loss here is heaven's gain.

Caroline, daughter
May 12, 2010

Hey Daddy, miss you lots. Not a day goes by where you don't cross my mind. I just wanted to leave this song, it really gives me chills whenever I hear it.


Fatherless at Fourteen by Kendall Payne

The winds came by and they carried me away
At least that's what your momma said she'd say
Of course I knew that you would never believe
But baby sometimes even big girls are allowed to weep

Oh Brenda Gene my peanut butter queen
Innocent and bright don't think of me as mean
Sweet Brenda Gene for all you haven't seen
You know I hate to leave you fatherless at fourteen
I'm sure you think I've left you alone
Torn apart our happy home
But love, I never planned it this way
Never this soon and never this day

Heaven's quite a sight to see I'm sure you'll be here too
And though it's beautiful my dear it can't compare to you

Caroline, daughter
April 27, 2010

Miss you so much

Caroline
daughter
March 24, 2010

Hard to believe that you would be turning 51 tomorrow. It still seems so unfair for you to have been taken away from all of us so soon. As the time continues to pass I find the words to this song mean even more. I may not cry like I used to, but the pain is still as sharp as ever. We love and miss you!
"And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance "

Thank you Mark for dancing with me, even if it was cut short!
Love,
Us

Lynne
wife/widow
March 4, 2010

"Let us cross over the river and rest under the shade of the trees"- Stonewall Jackson..Mark, it has been 8 years now, seems so long but so short at the same time. I still miss you everyday, imagine I always will. The police dept. put up a bench in your honor on South Mt., a place for people enjoying history can sit & relax a moment. We had them engrave Stonewall's last words on the plague, it seemed appropriate.I love you Mark

Maria Danaher
Sister
February 11, 2010