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As usual, so much has happened. 10 years. 10 years without you here with us. 10 years mom has had to do this all alone. Life isn't fair, that's for sure. I wish more than anything you could kiss mom goodbye before you left for work, email Tyler and then be so proud to tell everyone how amazing of a missionary he is, teach Kaylee how to drive and seriously have to clean your guns more often...be so excited with Ashlee and her little fur babies. I wish you were here to give blessings whenever we needed them, and always turn us to our Heavenly Father. I wish you were here to be able to help mom cook and clean, and learn how to cook gluten free. Dad, I wish you were here for everything. I can't help but think that all of our health issues have been brought on by stress and grief. What other 12 year old can't go to school because she can't stand up in the morning without fear of falling over? Please help and guide mom in finding the right people for Ashlee.
Dad, I'm so grateful for my husband. He is good. So good. He treats me like he should. I know you would love him.
Christmas is fast approaching. Your favorite time of the year. I can only imagine the lights that you've decorated your mansion with, in Heaven.
We did trees for charity again this year. I felt awful that I didn't feel well enough to go and help mom. We did it for the Shurtz family. James was accidentally shot in February. He has a young wife, and at the time, 7 month old twins. They are a sweet and adorable family.
Another officer was killed in Utah. He's 31, LDS, has 3 young boys and a wife. He was accidentally hit by a car as he was trying to fix power lines. His angel day is the same day as yours. There was a news article saying that a few weeks ago he was in his yard putting up Christmas lights with his boys. My heart always aches for the families of fallen officers, but even more when they are here in Utah. But, Eric Ellsworth's death hits really close to home. For so many reasons. I pray that his family is watched over. I hope the community, UHP and family takes better care of them, than we've been taken care of.
Dad, you know that you are my hero. But mom is too. She is the strongest woman I know. She's been out through so much. She was cheated out of time with you. I don't know how she does what she does. I love her so much. I hope I didn't hurt you in defending her. I don't know how I would have though, you would have done the same.
I love you dad. Have a very Merry Christmas in Heaven.
December 5, 2016